TITLE

TITLE: Crosses to Bear (1/?)
AUTHOR: Prophecy (prophecy_gurl@yahoo.com) and Rebecca (LaVelleBelle@aol.com)
RATING: R
SPOILERS: All of "Angel" Season 1 and "Judgment"
DISCLAIMER: Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.
DEDICATION: Prophecy wants to dedicate her part in this fic to Sovereign with a big hug. Thanks for teaching me to 'Have Faith' ;) Rebecca wants to dedicate HER part in this fic to Jodi, who just plain rocks.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Buffy thought to herself as the guard passed the metal detector down her legs. She held her arms up as he finished making sure she wasn't carrying any deadly objects. "OK Miss Summers. You have 20 minutes," the guard said. "Be careful." Buffy nodded. "I will be," she said, walking through the door and sitting down at the table across from the empty seat where the girl she had spent the last year of her life hating would soon be. She held in her breath, nervously tapping on the table. Angel didn't normally come on a Wednesday night, so when the guard told Faith she had a visitor she was pleasantly surprised. She gave her hair a brush, and quickly washed her face and hands. Hey, wasn't much, but it was the thought that counted with the vampire. She headed into the room with a spring in her step and a warm smile, "Hey A-" her face fell. "B..." she eyed the blonde warily, slowly and carefully walking to sit down. "Expecting someone else?" Buffy asked, exhaling her breath and looking over the other slayer. She looked good- for someone in prison, at least. Her hair had taken on a soft curl and without the usual dark makeup Faith usually made a point of wearing, she looked soft. Softer, at least. "Wasn't expectin' no one," she mumbled, guarded. "Ah," Buffy said, folding her hands. "Then I guess that was 'A- no one' you thought was here, huh?" "Well," she shrugged, avoiding Buffy's eyes. "Angel sometimes visits... not regular like, but..sometimes..." She didn't want to get her friend in trouble with his ex. Buffy nodded, feeling that familiar twinge of guilt and betrayal bubbling under her skin, but she mustered all her strength and pushed it back down. That wasn't why she was here. "I have a reason for being here, Faith. I'm not going to argue and I'm not going to fight." "So your reason would be what, then?" She looked at the blond disbelievingly. "I-" Buffy started, unsure of where her words were leading her. "I miss you." Faith folded her arms, "Yeeeah... riiight." Buffy frowned, looking down at her hands. "I sometimes think you know me better than anyone Faith and that scares me because I know it's true. So look in my eyes," Buffy said, looking up and meeting Faith's gaze, "look me in the eyes and see if I'm lying." Faith's dark eyes met Buffy's and she held the blonde's gaze for a long time. "I know," Buffy said, smiling. "You didn't expect that, did you? You thought I was going to walk in here and say 'I told you so'. Maybe have a good laugh about the mess you're in. Ask you if Big Bertha's hit on you yet?" Buffy grinned. "See? I think sometimes I know you well too. But," she said, her smile disappearing. "I'm just worried about you." "You put on weight," Faith said finally. "Looks good on ya.. the anorexic thing wasn't as cute..." "Yeah well," Buffy said, giggling. "I like my Ben and Jerry's. I'd try to smuggle you in some but they'd just put their grubby fingers in it looking for a file or something," she said, laughing. Buffy looked at Faith questioningly. "You didn't answer me. Are you ok?" "Survivin', B... as always..." "I don't buy that," Buffy said, matter-of-factly. "I miss slayin', B," she admitted. "Our kind weren't meant to be locked up... Goin' fuckin' stir crazy..." "I know," Buffy said, nodding. "I can only imagine. I remember when I was in Los Angeles after I- after I sent Angel to hell. I was trying to distance myself from all that- I wanted to hide from who I really was but every night I stayed inside I could feel this churning in my chest- this need to go out there and slay." Buffy sighed, moving her hand to Faith's. "I know I said that you needed this- to be in here but I was wrong. I want to get you out of here." "B - when I get outta here it'll be in a coffin. You know that and I know that." She clasped the blonde's hand, grateful for human contact. "That's not true," Buffy said. "I'm not going to let that happen. I have a plan." "Should I be scared?" she drawled Buffy smiled. "Yes and no. I'm not planning on burning the place down and sneaking you out but- I did something I shouldn't have to get you out of here." "B?" Faith looked at her, curious. Buffy sighed, removing her hand from Faith's and looking down at the ground. "You have to promise not to judge me, OK? I did what I did because I consider you a sister and I can't have you in here. I've made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you and I need to start to make them up." "Whaddya do, B?" Worry replaced curiosity. "I made a deal with the devil," Buffy said, looking up at Faith. "Metaphorically, of course." "If you mean what I think you mean, B, unmake it quick. Angel'll go nuts." "What do you think I mean?" "Wolfram and Hart?" Buffy sighed, her head dropping again and her hand on her forehead. "Yes and no. It's a little more specific than that." "Vistin' time ain't interminable, B... Spit it out..." Faith gripped Buffy's hands. "Those guys are... ya can't trust 'em B!" Buffy frowned. "I know- I should just say it but I'm so afraid of what you'll think of me." She stopped, collecting herself. "I'm sleeping with Lindsey McDonald." Faith's first thought was a sympathetic horror for Angel. Then amazement at what Buffy was doing for her. "I'd do him..." she shrugged, "double-crossing bastard is nothing if not fuckable.." Buffy sighed, letting a smile settle on her face. "He's not bad," she said, giggling girlishly like she and Faith were painting each other's toenails at a slumber party. "He's actually- sweet? I mean- he came to me in Sunnydale with the offer. He gets you out of her and I start a sexual relationship with him." Buffy stopped. "God, I'm a whore," she said, reaching for Faith's hand again. "All I had to do was be in this relationship with him and not tell Angel that it was all a scam and you would be out. He wants to strike Angel where it hurts and I know it will. But I also know that he can survive that, but I'm not sure you can survive this. And that's what's important to me." She smiled weakly. "So I give up a little dignity. I start this completely non healthy relationship. And I break the one person I love's heart. But I save you." "I thought you hated me, B..." she spoke softly, amazed at how far the blonde was going for her. "I c'n... I c'n clue Angel in if ya like..." She squeezed Buffy's hand. "I thought I hated you too," Buffy admitted. "I was stupid. You hurt me- I won't lie about that but I think I hurt you too. But I don't want you telling Angel," Buffy said, sighing. "I think maybe it will be easier this way for him. Better him to think me a slut than a prostitute." "Alright, B..." she nodded, gently. "He's... he's doin' okay..." a wry grin curled her lips, "'Cept for his gig as a karaoke star..." "Karaoke?" Buffy asked, shocked by Faith's quick change of topic but comforted at the same time. At least she wasn't judging her. "Oh you have got to be kidding me. Dish!" "Barry Manilow of all things..." she smirked. She could tell B was getting all worried and stuff about the Lindsey issue. Well, she'd kick McDonald's ass once she got out. "Ladies," the guard said, walking in. "Party's over." "Dave, c'mon, five more minutes with my girl?" Faith pleaded, leaning over and flashing some cleavage. The guard shook his head, smiling. "Three and then she's outta here. Unless of course you want to show me a little something too?" the guard asked, looking at Buffy. Buffy quirked her eyebrows. "Three minutes will be fine," she said, turning back to Faith and sticking her tongue out playfully at Faith. "Fine. Three minutes," the guard said, walking out. "So Barry Manilow, huh? Let me guess- Copacabana?" "That was my guess... but no, 'Mandy'..." she shook her head, chuckling that low throaty giggle of hers. "I can imagine Angel doing a lot of things, but singing 'Mandy' definitely isn't one of them." She shook her head and after a moment took a deep breath. "Here's the deal. You'll be let out tomorrow around 6 PM. Angel's going to pick you up- we'll make sure he knows about it. You can't tell him that I'm behind this. He doesn't know about Lindsey and me yet and he can't ever know about this deal. Promise me that?" "Cross my heart..." Faith traced a cross over her chest with her finger. "What's the deal with you an' Lefty, B...? How much longer...?" Buffy looked away from Faith, suddenly finding a spot on the wall very interesting. "I- I can't say, Faith. Let's just put it this way- it's a good thing there's a Hellmouth here or else I couldn't explain my move to Giles." "Buffy Anne Summers," Faith gripped her hands firmly, "Tell me." "A year," she said, looking up at Faith, her eyes wet with tears. "Any less than a year and you go right back in. If Angel finds out, you go right back in. I had to tell you and he allowed that, but Angel can't know, Faith." "Christ, B..." Faith growled, dropping the blonde's hands as if stung. "I'm not worth that..." "You're worth more than that," Buffy said, her voice growing louder. "I'd marry the bastard if it meant you never had to see the inside of this place again. We're the Slayer Sisters, remember?" "And I'd kill him for forcing you inta somethin' like that..." her voice was a low growl. "And you'd be right back inside again Faith," Buffy said, taking her hand back. "Please. Let me do this- I'll be fine. He's not abusive- he doesn't force me. It'll be like a marriage of convenience, only without the marriage." The brown eyes smoldered. "You're better than that, B... Tell him if its a slayer he wants I'll give him the ride of his life once I'm out... bastard shouldn't be touching you, B..." The door swung open again and the guard walked back in. "That's it ladies. I don't care if you both get up on the table and put on a show for me, you're not getting any more time." Buffy frowned, looking at Faith. "Trust me, OK? I'll be ten times worse if you don't go along with this." "Let's go," the guard said, angrily. "Fuck yourself, Dave..." Faith got up and crossed to Buffy's side of the table, pulling the blonde into a fierce hug. Buffy relaxed into the hug, her arms holding her friend tight. "I'll see you soon, OK?" Faith gripped Buffy's chin in her hand, "I'll fix this, B, I swear it." "It's fixed," Buffy said, pulling out of the embrace. "I'll be fine. Really," she said, nodding to the guard. "Trust me." "What happened to Riley?" she asked as Buffy was being led out. "He- he left me," Buffy said, her breath caught in her throat as she walked out the door. The guard quickly shut it, escorting Buffy to the exit of the prison. Faith sat down hard on her chair, waiting for the bastard to return to escort her back to her room. She felt like shit. Dave came back to the room a few minutes later. "Alright Faith. Ya got a few extra minutes with your girlfriend. It's back to your cell now." "I'm thrilled," she drawled, uncrossing her legs, but not getting up. She was in a bad mood - what price her freedom was being bought at? * Buffy walked out of the prison, leaning against the fence and taking a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was going through with this but Faith meant too much to her to have her slowly be broken inside prison. She had her own amends to make and if it meant giving up a year of her life to servitude- it would have to be a cross for her to bear. She wiped a tear away as she thought of Riley. She had lied to Faith, telling her that he had left her, when really it was her who had left him. She loved him but she needed to save Faith and she doubted he would understand that she had to live and have sex with a man for a year to save a friend who he hated. She closed her eyes and let the cool night air wash over her. One more day and then everything would go to hell. But Faith would be out of it. And that was all that mattered anymore to her. To Be Continued....