TITLE

TITLE: Crosses to Bear (6/?)
AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker
EMAIL: NumfarGal@hotmail.com
RATING: R
PAIRING: Buffy/Lindsey
SPOILERS: Up to "Judgment" but Darla never came back.
SUMMARY: In order to get Faith out of prison, Buffy makes a deal to be with
Lindsey for a year, and Angel is about to find out.
FEEDBACK: Yes please!
DISTRIBUTION: At my site (http://www.ourowndestiny.com) and FINNatics. All
others, please ask first.
DISCLAIMER: Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.
DEDICATION: To Jodi, who will probably never read this, but deserves to have
stories dedicated to her anyway.


++++

The day had been restless for Angel. He had tossed and turned under the
covers for hours, trying to find the sleep that eluded him so efficiently.
He knew he needed the rest; he knew that he needed to collect himself and
his thoughts before going out and facing everyone.

Seeing Buffy the night before had been the last thing he had expected and
the last thing he wanted. He had moved to LA so they wouldn't run into each
other on patrol, and had done so nonetheless.

He sighed, turning over onto his side and squeezing his eyes shut. He
couldn't begrudge her being here; he didn't exactly own the city of Los
Angeles, but he had hoped that she'd have more consideration for him than
that. To move here was one thing, to move here to live with some new
boyfriend was another.

Truth be told, that bothered him more than anything. Of course, he had
wanted her to move on, but apparently that was all she had done in the year
and a half that they had been apart.

First there had been the guy that Spike had told him about- the one that had
used her. That wasn't even three months after he left town. Angel didn't
even know his name.

Then there was Riley. Riley Finn, that bland blond guy-next-door who, Angel
hated to admit, was perfect for Buffy. He was the type of guy Angel had
left so she could meet and he agonized that she had found him so easily.

Angel had been hoping for at least a year to get adjusted to things before
she found "the one". It had taken less than six months.

He tossed the covers off him, angrily eyeing the clock, the time seeming
more like an accusation. 6 PM. It wasn't even Dusk yet.

Angel got out of bed, walking over to the chair where he had laid out his
clothes. He would take a shower and hopefully the shock of the hot water
against his cold skin would keep him awake. He picked up his clothes and
headed to the bathroom.

+++

"Cordelia, would you pass me the Tagmarian Chronicle?" Wesley asked, looking
up from his spot at his desk which was covered by ancient texts.

Cordelia yawned. "Faith is closer. Ask her."

"By mere inches," Wesley said, frustrated. He smiled weakly as Faith picked
the book up easily and passed it to him. "Thank you Faith," he said, taking
the book from her and dropping it as it passed from her hands to his. "Heavy
book," he said, looking down, embarrassed.

"Sorry," Faith said, laughing. "Shoulda warned ya."

"Quite alright," Wesley said, opening the book and flipping through the
pages.

"So you sure you don't want me to take you shopping?" Cordelia asked,
turning to Faith. "Angel isn't exactly Isaac Mizrahi, you know? You go
shopping with him and you'll probably come back with a lovely assortment of
black, black and black." Cordelia stopped, looking Faith over. "OK, so maybe
Angel taking you shopping is a good idea."

"Yeah," Faith said, looking down at her black tank top, black leather pants
and black boots. "Thought I'd maybe add some color tho. Try somethin'
different."

"Yes," Wesley said, looking up. "Perhaps a nice shade of teal?"

"Maybe," Faith said, shrugging. "Guess I gotta try it on first. Never really
worn something like that before." She stopped, looking far off and
remembering that day with the Mayor when she had tried on the dress for him.
It had been a combination of light pink and white and Faith had felt like an
idiot in it. But she never really got to wear it. A day later and Faith
was in a coma.

She sighed, putting her feet up on the desk and flipping through the book in
front of her. She had spent the afternoon unpacking her things which,
admittedly, weren't many. After four, she had made her way back down to the
office and had promptly been put to work researching their latest case. It
actually felt good to be part of something again and if paging through musty
old books was a necessary evil, Faith was all for it.

"Good Morning," Angel said, walking into the office and heading straight for
the coffee.

Faith eyed the clock. "It's 7 PM."

"It's morning for me," Angel reminded her. "How is everything?" Angel looked
at the three of them, trying to detect signs of distress. All he could sense
was a general uncomfortableness.

"Oh just dandy," Cordelia said, getting up and tossing the book she had been
reading onto the desk. "Who knew reading boring old books could be so- well-
boring?"

"Well," Wesley said, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his
nose. "Unfortunately, as we have no idea what our client is dealing with,
research is in order until we ascertain that information."

"Necessary evil," Faith said, crossing her legs. "I mean- I wasn't saying
that evil is necessary or nothing," she added nervously.

"It's alright Faith," Angel offered. "We know what you mean." He smiled
reassuringly at her and she relaxed a bit. "So I hear we're going shopping?
Are you sure you want me to go with you?"

"Yeah," Faith said, nodding. "I just feel better with ya around, I guess."

"OK," Angel said, checking his watch. "Do you want to go now?"

Faith looked over Angel's shoulder to the clock on the wall. It was almost
7:30. "Sure," she said, getting up and grabbing her jacket from behind her
chair. "I was thinking maybe we could check out Bloomingdale's. I hear they
have some cool threads there."

"Bloomie's?" Cordelia said, looking up. "Are you sure you don't want me to
come? Because I eat Bloomingdales for breakfast."

Faith looked down nervously, unsure of what she should do. It was only
supposed to be her and Angel- Buffy had made sure to mention that. "I was
just thinkin' - I had some stuff I wanted to talk to Angel about," she said,
looking up apologetically. "Private stuff," she added. "I'm sorry."

"Oh," Cordelia said, turning the page of a book she had picked up. "Sure.
It's fine. We can shop some other day. I know a nice vintage store down on
LaBrea."

"Sounds cool," Faith said, moving next to Angel. "See ya Wes."

"Yes. Have a good time, Faith," Wesley said, smiling shyly.

Faith smiled back, unsure of whether he was actually being pleasant to her
or putting on a show for Angel. All day she had sensed that he was starting
to let down her guards, but not too much. He still didn't trust her and she
didn't blame him.

After all, she was playing them. She knew what was going to happen at the
mall. She knew she was part of a lie that was designed to take down the
very man who was protecting her. She just hoped he was strong enough to
withstand the heartache she knew would come.

++++

Buffy took a deep breath, sitting down on the fountain outside the
Bloomingdale's entrance. She watched as Lindsey walked back and forth, his
cell phone pressed against his ear.

"Final plans," he had told her. She couldn't imagine what new ideas the
senior partners had come up with. Next to fucking Lindsey in the middle of
the fountain, things couldn't have been much worse.

Lindsey shut his phone off, sliding it into his pocket. "We have to get
ready," he said, moving to sit next to her. "It's 7:40 now. It's a safe
assumption that they could arrive any moment now, so we should get into
position."

"Get into position," Buffy repeated, laughing sarcastically. "Are we going
to make out or attack the Germans in World War II?"

Lindsey sat down next to her, bending over and clasping her hands together.
" I know this is going to be hard on you," he said, turning to her. "I'm not
going to threaten you, but I think we both know how important to everything
what we're about to do is. If you're not 100% convincing, and he calls it
for what it is, this is all over."

"Oh Gee, you mean I don't get to ruin the life of someone I love? I don't
get to sleep every night with a man I despise?" she spat out angrily.

"What about Faith?" Lindsey asked, feeling horrible for always having to
play this card. He only wished she would realized that this was a decision
she had made. "Buffy, I don't want her to go back to prison any more than
you do."

"Liar," she spat out, feeling the anger swell once more in her chest.

"I don't," he said, sighing. "But Wolfram & Hart will throw her back in
without a moment's hesitation. And I can guarantee you they will make life
very difficult for her- even worse than it was before."

"I thought you weren't going to threaten me?" Buffy asked, looking at him
accusatorily.

"I'm not," he said. "I'm just telling you how it is." He took her hand in
his, flinching as she tried to pull away. "This is going to be the worst
part, Buffy. If you get through this, it will get easier."

Buffy closed her eyes, trying desperately to stop the tears that threatened
to overcome her. Only a month ago she had been the Slayer- making a
difference and saving the world. All she was now was a fake. A phony.
Someone who would hurt one person to help another.

"Tell me a joke," she said, looking up at Lindsey, who looked back at her,
surprised.

"What?"

"Make me smile? Just get my mind off this so when they come I don't break
down in front of them," she pleaded. "Please."

Lindsey grinned. It had been a while since he had casually told a joke and
found he had to struggle to remember one. "Clean or dirty?" he asked, a
smirk on his face.

"Dirty, I guess," Buffy said, letting out a deep breath. "If I'm going to
spend the next half hour making out with you, I might as well try to get in
the mood."

"OK," Lindsey said, trying to think of a good one. "OK. You're going to like
this one."

"Let's hear it then. Times a-wasting," she said, turning to him and crossing
her legs.

"OK," Lindsey began. "So this woman goes to her doctor and she says,
'Doctor, my husband has developed a penchant for anal sex. So I came to you
for advice.'"

"Oh- anal sex jokes," Buffy said, grinning. "Hope you're not trying to hint
at tonight's activities, because-"

"So anyway," Lindsey said, smiling and ignoring her comment. "So the doctor
asks her if it hurts and she says, 'Yeah. A little.' So then he asks her if
she likes it, and she admits that she actually does."

"Keep going," Buffy said, grinning.

"OK, so the doctor tells her that in that case, there's no reason why she
shouldn't have anal sex- she should just be careful not to get pregnant."

"You can't get pregnant from anal sex," Buffy said, giggling. "What quack
joke are you telling me?"

"Let me finish," Lindsey said, laughing. "So the woman looks at the doctor
strangely and tells him she didn't think it was possible to get pregnant
from anal sex. And you know what the doctor says?"

"I have no idea," Buffy said, grinning.

"'Of course you can. Where do you think all the lawyers come from?'" Lindsey
finished, waiting for Buffy's reaction.

He didn't have to wait long because before he could ask what she thought,
she was doubled over in laughter. "Oh God," she said, trying to catch her
breath. "I can't believe you told a lawyer joke."

"Yeah well, they're what I hear the most," Lindsey said, taking her hand and
watching as her chest rose and fell with laughter. "Feeling better?"

"A little," she said, smiling at him. "Thank you. I needed that."

"I think we both did," Lindsey said, moving her hand to his lips and kissing
her fingers gently. He didn't want to press, but time was of the essence.
"Buffy-"

"I know," she said, nodding resignedly. She moved herself closer to him,
their faces only inches apart. "Just hold me," she said, her voice soft.

He pulled her close to him, his arms draping around her waist, his fingers
making their way up the back of her shirt and connecting with her cool flesh
as he pressed his lips against hers.

Buffy moved her own hands to the back of his head, her fingers entwining in
his hair as she pressed herself closer to him. She struggled to block
everything out of her mind- to not keep one eye open to see when Angel and
Faith arrived.

"Lindsey," she said, moving her mouth from his lips to his neck, gasping as
she felt his hands slide further up her back. "Slow down a little," she
said.

"Sorry," he said, moving his hands down her back and cupping the base. "Are
you alright?" he asked, lifting her head with the palm of his hand.

"Yes," she answered. "Just kiss me."

Lindsey nodded, moving his lips to hers once more and kissing them tenderly,
his hand moving to cup the side of her face. He deepened the kiss, feeling
her hand rest against his chest, her fingers above the spot where his heart
was pounding frantically.

Neither of them even heard them approach.

+++

Faith fidgeted nervously as she and Angel walked into the mall. She was
going over what Buffy had told her in her head. They wanted this to play out
very specifically and Faith had her own role in this.

As they walked past the smaller stores, Faith's eyes were transfixed by the
Bloomingdale's sign at the end of the long corridor. She tried not to see
the couple making out on the ledge of the fountain outside it. She tried not
to watch Angel as he took in the stores. She tried not to wonder when he
would see them and how he would react.

They were only steps away and Angel still hadn't spotted them. She looked up
at him and noted he had a peculiar look on his face. "Angel?" she asked.
"What's up?"

"I don't know," Angel said, looking at her. "I just feel strange." He looked
up and it was then that he saw them.

Faith took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the same spot. +Play's
starting+ she thought. "Sonofabitch," she muttered, looking up to Angel.
"Tell me that's not who I think it is."

Angel, who only moments before had stopped dead in his tracks, was now
racing towards them and Faith had to run to catch up. "Angel," she called
out, and it was then that Buffy and Lindsey pulled away from each other and
looked up.

But Angel already had Lindsey by his collar and had pulled him up to meet
the vampire's angry glare. "Get the hell off her," he spat out, his fingers
curling so tightly around the fabric of Lindsey's jacket that they actually
ripped through.

"Angel!" Buffy said, getting up from where she was sitting. "Get a hold of
yourself!"

"What's goin' on B?" Faith asked, looking from Angel to the other slayer.
"What the fuck you doing with this lawyer piece of shit?"

"Faith," Buffy said, mustering every drop of disgust and disdain she had
inside herself to utter the girl's name. "What are you doing out of prison?
Shouldn't you be rotting in your prison cell where you belong?"

"Don't turn this around Buffy," Angel said, moving past Faith protectively.

"Always protecting her," Buffy said, her voice rising. "You're a fool.
She'll stab you in the back the first chance she gets."

Lindsey moved back to Buffy, taking her hand in his and squeezing it tight.
"This could be one hell of a lawsuit on your hands Angel," Lindsey said
smugly. "Harassment, physical assault..."

Angel could feel his demon at the surface and, on any other occasion, he
would have focused his energies on keeping it down. But at that moment,
Angel wanted nothing more than to rip Lindsey's hand off again. He was
touching her. His Buffy. And she smelled of him. He was all over her.

"Angel, calm down," Faith said, putting a hand on the vampire's shoulder.

"Get your hand off her," Angel commanded again, his voice nearly a snarl.
"I'm only giving you this one chance."

"Angel," Buffy said, her heart pounding in her chest. "You're not going to
tell him what to do. You don't own me. I'm with Lindsey now," she said,
stepping up to him. "And if you touch him again, it'll be your hand that
comes off this time."

Angel looked at her, confused. "You know about him? About the things he's
done and you're still with him?"

"I knew about the things you'd done, Angel," Buffy said angrily. "You've
done much worse than him but I loved you anyway."

"He's worse than me," Angel said, his hands balling into fists. "I may have
killed, but at least I have a demon as an excuse. What does he have to
blame- corporate drive?"

"You know what? We are not having this discussion because it really doesn't
matter what you think, Angel. I love him," she said. "And you can just go to
hell."

Buffy moved to Lindsey and took his hand again. "Let's go." They moved past
Angel and Faith. "Stay away from me," she muttered to the two. "I mean it."

"You know what B?" Faith said, smirking. "I'll stay away from you. I had
enough of the whores in prison."

"Fuck you Faith," Buffy said, walking past her.

Lindsey pulled Buffy to him, his hands around their waist as they walked
away. "Just a few more steps," he whispered to her, feeling her whole body
tremble against him.

"Get me out of here," she begged him, trying not to hear the sounds of rage
from behind her, trying not to hear the smashing of glass just a few feet
back.

To Be Continued.....