TITLE: Crosses To Bear (10/?)

AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker

EMAIL: NumfarGal@aol.com

RATING: R

PAIRING: B/L

SUMMARY: Buffy is with Lindsey for a year to get Faith out of jail, and Angel's recently found out.

FEEDBACK: I do the dance of joy upon receipt of feedback.

DISCLAIMER: Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.

DISTRIBUTION: All the usual suspects. All others, please ask first.

DEDICATION: To all who feedbacked, because it means so much to me.

Angel and Faith stood next to each other, both looking to Cordelia and waiting for the girl to share the information that she had just received from Xander over the phone.

They watched as the Seer paced in front of them, obviously trying to find a way to tell the story. "So," she finally said, turning to them and stopping. She fidgeted nervously before starting again.


"Sometime today?" Angel asked, exasperated.

"Gee, for an immortal, you sure are impatient!" Cordelia retorted. "Look, maybe we should get Wesley so I only have to go through this once?"

"He's not here," Faith said, shrugging. "Out getting some book or something. Gunn's downstairs tho."

"Gunn?" Angel asked, genuinely surprised. "He's back? I didn't think he would."

"Neither did I," Cordelia admitted, smiling. "So listen, let's go downstairs, kiss and make up with Gunn, and then I'll tell the Buffy saga."

"I'm not kissing him," Angel said, grinning. It felt like a nice change from the last 24 hours, and he could tell that he wasn't the only one who noticed it. Both Faith and Cordelia automatically looked relieved.

"Well, neither am I," Faith replied. "We barely know each other. I'll just settle for pinchin' his ass."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy that," Cordelia said, moving past them and walking out of the room.

Angel smiled uncomfortably and followed her out the door. Faith stayed behind a moment, leaning against the doorframe. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This was taking more strength than she had.

++++


Wesley and Gunn had been catching up over a cup of coffee when Cordelia came bounding down the stairs, a large smile plastered across his face. It only hit Gunn then how much he had missed them; how despite all his misgivings, this was his family now- his home.

"Cordelia," Gunn said, placing the coffee mug back down on the table and walking over to her. "You're lookin' good. Haircut?"

"Gee, you noticed," Cordelia said sarcastically. She had chopped a good six inches off a few weeks before. "So where have you been?" she said, punching him lightly on the arm. "We've missed you!"

"I've been around," Gunn said, shrugging. He looked over Cordelia's shoulder and watched as Angel, with Faith right behind, walked down the stairs. "Nothin' I really wanna talk about, if that's OK."

"Gunn," Angel acknowledged. "Good to see you again."

"Yeah," Gunn said, nodding. "Hope it's OK that I'm back?"

"Of course," Angel replied. He stepped closer, his voice low. "Just let us know if you decide to go off again."

"Ain't gonna happen," Gunn said, his face resolute. "I figured out where I'm supposed to be."

"Good," Angel said. He moved over to Wesley and leaned on the counter next to him. "You actually came back at a good time. We have a lot to go over."

"The whole Buffy thing, right?" Gunn said, moving to the chair and sitting down.

"Buffy?" Wesley asked, confused. He looked around the room and saw that he was the only one who looked surprised. "Ah, I see I have some catching up to do." He smiled awkwardly. "You leave for months and know what's going on. I leave for an hour, and feel quite ignorant."

"I just told him, Wes," Faith said, crossing her arms. "B's in town."

"Ah," Wesley said, nodding. "So should I take that to mean that we have a fierce enemy to face?" He looked around the room again and could tell that wasn't the case. "Yes, I fear I need to be walked through this one."

"Actually, it's about to be the Cordelia Storytime Hour, so you got here just in time," Cordelia said, sighing. She started to pace the room, trying to figure out how to begin.

"Maybe I should start," Angel said. He folded his arms. "I ran into Buffy patrolling a few nights ago. I hadn't seen her in months. She told me she had broken up with Riley and that she was living in LA with someone new. She didn't tell me his name," Angel said, gritting his teeth angrily.

"Ah," Wesley said. "I see."

"It goes beyond that," Angel responded. "This isn't just me being jealous."

"Well, a little bit," Cordelia added, and flinched at the angry look Angel shot her. "Oh come on! Admit that just a LITTLE bit of it is you being jealous."

Angel ignored her and continued. "I took Faith shopping last night for some clothes, and I ran into her and her new-" Angel stopped, the word not wanting to come.

"Boy toy," Faith finished for him. "They were all over each other and Angel lost it."

Wesley's eyes grew wide. "What exactly happened?"

"Lindsey McDonald," Cordelia went on. "He's her new boyfriend. Angel saw them, nearly re-ripped his hand off. Instead, he decided to trash the Bloomingdale's wing."

"Isn't that like a high crime to you, Cordy?" Gunn asked, grinning.

"Ha ha," Cordelia said sarcastically. "We have bigger problems than the destruction of a beloved stretch of mall."

"And what's that?"


"Something's up with B," Faith answered. "She knows who and what he is, and she doesn't seem to give a shit. That's not the Saint Buffy I knew."

"She knows who he represents? What he's done- and she's still with him?" Wesley asked, and Cordelia nodded in response. "No, that's not like Buffy at all. Have we called Giles?"

"I just got off the phone, except Giles just moved back to England a week ago," Cordelia said, picking a pen off the desk and starting to pace the room again as she continued. "Seems Buffy's had a falling out with the little Scooby Gang."

Everyone leaned closer as Cordelia continued- this was new information to everyone but her. "It started a few months ago. Everything was fine. Buffy was just ga-ga over Riley, and she was even back training with Giles. Then, all of the sudden, she starts to distance herself from the group."

"Did something happen?" Angel asked.

"Not that they know of," Cordelia responded. "It was like she woke up one morning and said 'I feel like being an enormous bitch.'"

"One morning?" Faith asked, grinning. The group shot her a look that wiped it off her face. "Sorry. Old grudge."

"Anyway, so they're all trying to figure out what the hell's going on with her when she starts cutting her ties. She dumps Riley," Cordelia says, shooting a look to Angel and not surprised to find him trying to suppress a smile. "She drops out of school. She starts giving everyone the cold shoulder. They're trying to figure out what's going on with her when she lets them know she's moving to LA."

"I can imagine Giles didn't take that news very well," Wesley said.

"Yeah. You can put it that way. They had a whole big blowout- all of them. They couldn't understand how she could just up and leave Sunnydale. Lots of monster mojo still going on, right? She tries to explain it by saying that she needs to grow, to change, blah blah blah and she can't do that there. No one's buying it. So she storms out, heads to the train station and Giles catches up to her there. He tries to talk her out of it, but she doesn't see what the big deal is considering LA is just another Hellmouth. He forbids her to go-"

"That doesn't work," Wesley said, smiling. "I've tried it."

"Yeah well, he didn't fare much better. She flipped out, told him that if they couldn't support her that she didn't want to know them. And she left," Cordelia said, shrugging her shoulders. "She hasn't called any of them. They don't know where to get in touch with her and they had no idea she was shacking up with Lindsey. They're swamped in monsters now that word got out that the Slayer's AWOL. Xander's not too happy with Buffy right now and, believe me, that's saying a lot."

"That doesn't sound like Buffy at all," Angel agreed.

"Well, she has run away before," Cordelia reminded him.

"Yeah, after she sent me to hell," Angel replied. "She wouldn't just leave without something of that magnitude happening to her." He sighed. "And you're sure nothing went on that caused her to leave?"

"Not that they know of. Any of them," Cordelia said.

"I don't know," Faith said, shrugging. "I kinda get why she did it. Same reason I had a hell of a hard time in jail. Slayer's not meant to be kept in one place too long. Jail- Hellmouth- cages. No matter how you look at it."

"That would work if I thought she was telling the truth about why she left Sunnydale," Angel said, moving across the room. "I'm not buying it."

"So what do you think?" Gunn asked. "You think she's gone rogue?"

"I don't think so," Angel answered half-heartedly. "I need to see her again."

"I'm thinking she may not be too happy about that," Faith said, smirking. "I don't think I've ever seen B look so pissed."

"Well, someone needs to talk to her," Angel said. "If she won't talk to me-"

"I'll do it," Wesley volunteered. "It's been a long time since I've seen Buffy anyway."

Angel nodded. "OK. Just- try to get her to talk about why she left. What she's doing here. How the hell she hooked up with Lindsey in the first place."

"I'll try," Wesley said. He looked at his watch. "Perhaps I can talk to her before Lindsey returns from the office. She'll no doubt be staying at his apartment?"

"Probably," Angel agreed. "I don't know if she'll be there, but you might as well try."

"What are you going to do?" Wesley asked.

"I'm going to go see a friend." He looked to the Slayer. "Faith, you're coming with me."

+++++

Lindsey's apartment was too neat for Buffy's liking.

She had lived there over a month now, and any mess that she made was cleaned up by the maid the next morning.

She couldn't help but be sloppy; Wolfram & Hart's little rule was that, unless instructed by them, she was not allowed to go out in public without Lindsey. So most days, she was stuck inside. They had suggested reading and working on their plan, but she usually wound up gorging herself on Cheetos and watching people embarrass themselves on Jerry Springer.

She laid back on the couch, her feet dangling from the end as she flipped through the channels. Nothing remotely interesting was on, and Buffy's mind began to wander. She had called Lindsey after her argument with Kate, and he assured her that she had handled it wisely.

She could tell he was worried about her. His tone was lower, his words measured and carefully considered. She had assured him that she was alright, but she could tell he didn't believe it any more than she did.

When the doorbell rang an hour later, she was sure that Kate had come back to shake her up some more. Instead, she found a teenager carrying a large bouquet of flowers.

The card was simple, and as Buffy's eyes glanced over the words, she felt both uncomfortable and comforted at the same time. "Thinking of you," it read, and then Lindsey's name underneath. She smiled as she carried the flowers over to the sink and filled the vase with water.

It was a beautiful arrangement, and very thoughtful. But she couldn't escape the sneaking suspicion that perhaps there was more to the twisted relationship she and Lindsey had besides control. And she wasn't quite sure how exactly she felt about that.

She decided to try to block everything from her mind and straighten up before Lindsey got home. She set the flowers on the dining room table and brought the dishes from lunch over to the sink. She was about to break out the Brillo when another knock came from the door.

"Maybe he got me a pony," Buffy said, laughing as she walked over to the door. She could just imagine the same teen, holding the reins on a beautiful black Caspian. She had read somewhere how rare and expensive they were, so she figured it to be just the type of thing Lindsey would get for her.

She smiled as she opened the door, trying to imagine where they would keep such an animal. When she saw Wesley standing there, the smile quickly melted away. Shock and surprise took over, and more than a hint of nervousness and fear.

"Hello Wesley," she said, taking a deep breath.

TBC....