TITLE: Crosses To Bear (13/?)

AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker

EMAIL: NumfarGal@aol.com

RATING: R

PAIRING: B/L

SUMMARY: Buffy is with Lindsey for a year to get Faith out of jail. Angel's found out and has taken to Faith to Caritas for more information.

FEEDBACK: I do the dance of joy upon receipt of feedback.

DISCLAIMER: Joss and Mutant Enemy own all.

DISTRIBUTION: All the usual suspects. All others, please ask first.

DEDICATION: To those who gave feedback. It truly means the world.

Considering Faith had been a slayer for three years and counting, the fact that Caritas took her by surprise was saying something.

As they walked past tables full of demons drinking and singing along, Faith had to pinch herself. Had she not been clean since she threw herself in jail, she would have thought she was having a hallucination.  Throw in a few dancing pink giraffes, and things would seem familiar.

"This place is unreal," she said to Angel, who seemed as if this was all old hat to him. "What's the deal with it?"

"The Host runs the place," Angel said, pointing to a green horned demon across the room sipping a drink with an umbrella firmly planted in it. "He's an anagogic. When you sing, he can read you; see your past, your future. Your path."

"Nice parlor trick.  Was this the place you told me you sang at?" Faith asked.

"That would be the one."

"And they still let you in?"

"Faith-"

"Yeah, I know," Faith said, grimacing at a demon who was drooling some sort of purple slime onto the plate in front of him. "Classy place too. We hit this place up for readings or slayings?"

"The former," Angel said. "Caritas is a sanctuary. We can't touch any demons here."

"What a waste," Faith said, shrugging. "They're pretty much lining up for a good ass kicking."

Angel didn't answer her, but moved to the seat next to the demon.  Faith followed, standing behind Angel and looking the Host over curiously.

"Lorne," Angel said, tapping his fingers on the bar. "I don't want to sing."

"Oh honey, I don't want you to either. Good we got that out of the way, huh?" Lorne put his drink down and let his fingers circle the rim of the umbrella plopped inside it.  He looked over to Faith, his eyes taking her in. "So," he said, leaning back against the bar and staring at her. "How about you, sweetcakes? Feel like belting out a few tunes?"

"Yeah well, I would but I don't have my twirly batons with me," Faith said sarcastically, crossing her arms. "Really would be a waste without 'em."    

"Actually, I have a pair in the back," Lorne said, grinning. "But somehow I'm sensing that's not your weapon of choice."

"I could kick ass with them if I wanted to." Faith shrugged.

"You're resourceful," Lorne said, looking her over again.

"Yeah well, I do what I can," Faith said, starting to feel uncomfortable. "So this is fun and all, but you wanna get to it, Angel?"

"Ah, never a social visit," Lorne said, drinking the rest of his margarita and beckoning the bartender over. "Another one, Enrique," he said, winking. "Extra salt. I'm feeling like a lush tonight."

"Lorne. We need your help," Angel said, lowering his voice. "We need to know what's going on with someone."

"Hmm," Lorne said, taking the drink the bartender handed him and sipping it quickly.  He looked back to Angel and laughed. "Wow. She really got to you, didn't she?"

"You know who he's talking about?" Faith asked. She turned to Angel. "I thought you said we had to sing. I'm starting to think the whole thing's a crock."

"It's all about the passion in the voice, snookums," Lorne said. "Normally, the voice can't convey it, but when things get intense, it comes through and I can read it."

"Our innermost thoughts and shit?" Faith asked, skeptical.

"Sometimes," Lorne admitted. "It depends on the person." He smiled at her. "Like you, for instance. You may as well be see-through."

Faith shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I didn't come for myself, so you can quit peeking around inside. We came to ask about B."

"Are you sure you don't already have the answers?" Lorne asked her, raising his eyebrow.

"You think I'd be here if I did?" Faith asked, struggling to keep her voice from wavering. Coming here wasn't a good idea. She had the very real feeling that the whole house of cards was about to come tumbling down.

"Hmm," Lorne said, turning back to Angel. "I guess she doesn't have the answers after all."

"So what's going on, Lorne? She's not herself," Angel said, leaning on the bar and looking to the demon. "The things she says, the things she's doing-"

"The people she's doing," Faith added, and Angel automatically flinched. "Sorry."

"No, hot stuff here's gotta get used to hearing it," Lorne said.

"That's what I keep tellin' him. Gives them too much power if he goes all psycho every time someone mentions it."

"Might just be what they want," Lorne said, sitting back. "Ever think about that?"

"So you're saying Lindsey's just using her?" Angel asked, tightening his fist.

"Or maybe she's just using him," Faith said.

"Maybe they're using each other," Lorne offered.

"You know, I didn't come here for a lot of 'maybes'," Angel said, the annoyance in his voice growing. "I came for answers. Why is she acting like this? Why did she leave Sunnydale? Why is she with him?" Why-"

"Woah woah woah, honey," Lorne said, putting his hand up to stop Angel. "You're gonna have to give me a few years to finish that novel."

"I need to know now," Angel demanded, slamming his fist down on the bar. 

"Hey Rambo," Lorne said. "Take it easy."

Angel sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm sure you can tell how important this is to me."

"Honey, you don't need to be anagogic to be able to see that. But the thing is," Lorne said, leaning in towards Angel, "Even I know there are some things I'm not supposed to meddle in."

Faith released the breath she had held in for the last few minutes. She was sure he was going to let Angel know everything, and she wasn't ready for that yet. "So what? You're not gonna help us?" She bit her lip, hoping he wouldn't take the hook she had put out just to look good.

Lorne turned to her and smiled, and she could tell he knew everything.  She struggled to hold her gaze with him, and finally he turned away. "I am," he said, turning to Angel. "It's important that you realize that. I can't give you answers, but I can give you advice- play it cool. Don't let them get to you."

"Great," Angel said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "You know, I could have got that advice from Dear Abby."

"Dear Abby knows squat," Lorne said, offended. "Look, Angel. I want to give you the answers. I do. But I can't."

"Won't," Angel corrected.

"Well yeah. That too." Lorne shook his head. "Listen. This is a complicated game of chess you're playing."  He turned to Faith, then back to Angel. "Lots of pawns being sacrificed. Not sure I want to be one of them." 

Angel stood up quickly, his shoulders hunched forward as he looked to Lorne. "You know where I am if you decide to grow a pair."

"Hey, I had a pair once," Lorne said, picking up his drink and taking another sip. "They fall off on your 30th birthday." He sighed wistfully. "I do miss them sometimes."

"Yeah well, this has been fun and all, but I say we get outta here before I find it a little hard to control my slayer impulses," Faith said, crossing her arms.

"I will say one thing tho," Lorne said as Angel started to leave. "She won't last the year."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Angel asked, stepping back to Lorne.

"I think you know what I mean," Lorne said, looking to Faith. He smiled and shook his head at her, turning back to Angel.

"Are you threatening her?" Angel asked, grabbing Lorne by his collar.

"Down boy," Lorne said, moving Angel's hands from his lapel. "Au contraire. I'd never want to hurt a sweet little thing like her. I just call 'em like I see 'em- whatever they mean."

Angel backed off, and turned to Faith. "You're right. Let's get out of here."

Angel started to walk away, but Faith remained for a moment, her eyes locked with the Host. "I didn't want this," she said, her voice low. "Not what I wanted."

"Yeah, I know," Lorne said, shrugging. "But you've got it, sweetie. Now what matters is what you do with it."

"And what's that?" she asked, genuinely curious to hear the answer.

"Hey, if I give out all the answers, where would be the challenge for you?" Lorne said, standing up. "This is yours, you know?" He cocked his head and smiled. "It's your challenge."

"'Cause of the things I did?" Faith asked.

"Maybe," Lorne admitted. "Maybe not. I just know it's yours. You've gotta find out what's best on your own. And it's not as simple as it seems. This is a whole Rubik's Cube worth of confusion."

"I just-"

"Faith," Angel beckoned. "Let's go."

"I gotta," Faith said and Lorne nodded.

"I understand. Just remember Faith," he said. "The easiest answer is not always the right one. Neither is the hardest."

"Uh huh," Faith said, nodding as if she understood when, really, she had no idea. "See ya." She turned and walked towards Angel, who was looking at her curiously.

"What was that about?" Angel asked as he looked back to Lorne, who had made his way behind the bar to pour himself another drink.

"Oh," Faith said, shrugging. "Just givin' him a piece of my mind."

"And what did he say?" Angel asked as they exited Caritas and walked up the stairs to the night above.

"Nothing helpful," she answered, and moved to walk ahead. She needed a moment to think on her own, because she had the feeling that once she figured it all out, it would indeed be helpful.

TBC....