A/N: Haven't we all noticed the similarities between Numair and Telemain and wondered why the heck there isn't a fic about them? Well, here it is, the Long-Awaited Magical Language Nuts Fic! This is a Tortall/Enchanted Forest fic. Please R&R, if enough people put good reviews in about this thing I'll write another chapter!
Telemain walked down the path towards Morwen's house glumly. He and Morwen had just been to see Cimorene and her family, and Kazul had been there. Telemain had tried to explain about a new spell he was improvising, and Kazul nearly fried him for his use of confusing language. She had been so mad that they had had to send Telemain home.
"My language isn't confusing to me," Telemain whined out loud. "I wish someone would understand me!"
POP! Out of thin air a round little woman in pink suddenly appeared. "I am your fairy godmother. Tell me your wish and I will grant it to you."
"Can you repeat that transportation spell again?" asked Telemain eagerly. "No one can do a normal transportation spell like that in the Enchanted Forest! Did you simply pull at the magical aura around you, or did you engage its forces to pull on the network of the forest, or-"
"Look, just tell me your wish, okay?" the fairy said impatiently. "I don't want to repeat the spell. It's too hard."
"Ah, so it's difficult! Is it a special strength that only members of the group *faria godmotheriosa* can activate, or just fairies, or-"
"Shut up and tell me your stinking wish!!!"
"Um, ok." Telemain thought hard. He could only think of one wish right now. "I wish that I could work with someone who could understand me."
"Now that's a toughie." The fairy thought for a moment. "I can only think of one person who can do this without being driven mad. However, he lives a bit far away." She waved her wand idly.
"Where does he- LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!" Telemain was hurtling through dark tunnels, black portals, electric green holes-
Electric green holes? Telemain thought. He had no time to observe them because at that time he landed with a thump.
"Oof!" He got up, brushed himself off, and looked around. He was in front of a hut overlooking a large city. A small toddler was watching with his hand in his mouth.
"Interesting," Telemain commented to no one in particular. "The fluorescence of the expanses may have been to serve the purpose as to illuminate the trans-universal pass-"
The boy's eyes widened. "Dad-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" he screamed, running into the house.
A moment later a large, burly-looking man came out of the cottage. "Greetin's, traveller. Welcome to Tortall. That there's Corus. What's yer name?"
Telemain was still lost in thought. "Of course, the incandescence of the portals might have been a natural phenomenon-"
The villager's eyes widened. "Um, sir, I don' speak no fancy language. That there's for the nobles. I'll take yer to the palace." He grabbed the still-babbling Telemain and set off for the city.
**********
Onua Chamtong was passing through the palace courtyards when she saw a villager she recognized dragging a man she didn't. The man saw Onua and rushed over. "Lady Onua!"
"Ah, Malen, right? You sheltered my horses in your barn in that terrible storm." Onua smiled. "What can I do for you?"
"Ah, yer see, Lady Onua," said Malen, scuffing at the ground, "my child says this here man fell out 'o' the sky. And I can't understand a word he says! I was thinkin'-"he lowered his voice,"that he might be a spy 'o' some sort."
Onua leaned in and listened to Telemain. He seemed to not have noticed he had been taken here, and was now rambling on about a fairy godmother's wand and if it had the same properties as a wizard's.
"Oooh, this is a job for a professional," Onua replied. "Let's see-ah, good. Daine, could you come over here please?"
**********
Daine had been helping a particularly clumsy trainee with his mount when she heard Onua's call. She sighed. "Sarge-can you take the reins?" she asked the dark, bearlike man leaning idly against the wall. Sarge grinned, showing more teeth than necessary, and went over to the cowering trainee.
Daine ran outside to Onua. "Yes?"
"D'you know where Numair is?" the woman asked.
"Inside, in his room. Why?"
"We have a severe case of language here." Onua gestured towards Telemain. Daine caught words like "luminescence" and "transportation" emerging from the man's lips.
She nodded. "I'll take him. C'mon." Daine grabbed Telemain's hand.
Pulling a musing magician up numerous flights of stairs isn't easy, but Daine managed. She barged into the room she and Numair shared and bellowed, "Num-aair!"
"Right here." Numair looked up from a ten-pound volume. "What's the trouble?"
"Him." Daine pushed Telemain into a chair opposite Numair. "No one can understand him, and a peasant boy said he dropped from the sky."
Numair leaned in towards Telemain and listened to his ramblings. He straightened up and nodded. "Right. My university friends used to do this all the time. I'll fix him." He then proceeded to roar at the top of his lungs, "OH, LOOK AT THAT MAGICAL PHENOMENON!!!"
Telemain's eyes snapped into focus. "Where?" he yelled, whirling around.
"False alarm." Numair calmly sat in his chair. "I'm Numair, and you're in Tortall. I do believe you've had a transuniversal transport."
"Yes!" Telemain straightened up and proceeded to babble like a brook. "I do believe the luminescence in the portals was caused by the fact that-I'm Telemain, by the way-the wand, or staff, which might carry the same magical properties as-oh, I'm from the Enchanted Forest-a wizard's staff, although it was made of rowan, and the wizard's of unidentifiable material..."
Numair actually looks like he understands, thought Daine. After a few minutes of trying to follow their conversation, she threw her hands in the air and stalked out. Numair and Telemain didn't even notice.
**********
Hehe! Whaddya think? Review please!
Telemain walked down the path towards Morwen's house glumly. He and Morwen had just been to see Cimorene and her family, and Kazul had been there. Telemain had tried to explain about a new spell he was improvising, and Kazul nearly fried him for his use of confusing language. She had been so mad that they had had to send Telemain home.
"My language isn't confusing to me," Telemain whined out loud. "I wish someone would understand me!"
POP! Out of thin air a round little woman in pink suddenly appeared. "I am your fairy godmother. Tell me your wish and I will grant it to you."
"Can you repeat that transportation spell again?" asked Telemain eagerly. "No one can do a normal transportation spell like that in the Enchanted Forest! Did you simply pull at the magical aura around you, or did you engage its forces to pull on the network of the forest, or-"
"Look, just tell me your wish, okay?" the fairy said impatiently. "I don't want to repeat the spell. It's too hard."
"Ah, so it's difficult! Is it a special strength that only members of the group *faria godmotheriosa* can activate, or just fairies, or-"
"Shut up and tell me your stinking wish!!!"
"Um, ok." Telemain thought hard. He could only think of one wish right now. "I wish that I could work with someone who could understand me."
"Now that's a toughie." The fairy thought for a moment. "I can only think of one person who can do this without being driven mad. However, he lives a bit far away." She waved her wand idly.
"Where does he- LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!" Telemain was hurtling through dark tunnels, black portals, electric green holes-
Electric green holes? Telemain thought. He had no time to observe them because at that time he landed with a thump.
"Oof!" He got up, brushed himself off, and looked around. He was in front of a hut overlooking a large city. A small toddler was watching with his hand in his mouth.
"Interesting," Telemain commented to no one in particular. "The fluorescence of the expanses may have been to serve the purpose as to illuminate the trans-universal pass-"
The boy's eyes widened. "Dad-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" he screamed, running into the house.
A moment later a large, burly-looking man came out of the cottage. "Greetin's, traveller. Welcome to Tortall. That there's Corus. What's yer name?"
Telemain was still lost in thought. "Of course, the incandescence of the portals might have been a natural phenomenon-"
The villager's eyes widened. "Um, sir, I don' speak no fancy language. That there's for the nobles. I'll take yer to the palace." He grabbed the still-babbling Telemain and set off for the city.
**********
Onua Chamtong was passing through the palace courtyards when she saw a villager she recognized dragging a man she didn't. The man saw Onua and rushed over. "Lady Onua!"
"Ah, Malen, right? You sheltered my horses in your barn in that terrible storm." Onua smiled. "What can I do for you?"
"Ah, yer see, Lady Onua," said Malen, scuffing at the ground, "my child says this here man fell out 'o' the sky. And I can't understand a word he says! I was thinkin'-"he lowered his voice,"that he might be a spy 'o' some sort."
Onua leaned in and listened to Telemain. He seemed to not have noticed he had been taken here, and was now rambling on about a fairy godmother's wand and if it had the same properties as a wizard's.
"Oooh, this is a job for a professional," Onua replied. "Let's see-ah, good. Daine, could you come over here please?"
**********
Daine had been helping a particularly clumsy trainee with his mount when she heard Onua's call. She sighed. "Sarge-can you take the reins?" she asked the dark, bearlike man leaning idly against the wall. Sarge grinned, showing more teeth than necessary, and went over to the cowering trainee.
Daine ran outside to Onua. "Yes?"
"D'you know where Numair is?" the woman asked.
"Inside, in his room. Why?"
"We have a severe case of language here." Onua gestured towards Telemain. Daine caught words like "luminescence" and "transportation" emerging from the man's lips.
She nodded. "I'll take him. C'mon." Daine grabbed Telemain's hand.
Pulling a musing magician up numerous flights of stairs isn't easy, but Daine managed. She barged into the room she and Numair shared and bellowed, "Num-aair!"
"Right here." Numair looked up from a ten-pound volume. "What's the trouble?"
"Him." Daine pushed Telemain into a chair opposite Numair. "No one can understand him, and a peasant boy said he dropped from the sky."
Numair leaned in towards Telemain and listened to his ramblings. He straightened up and nodded. "Right. My university friends used to do this all the time. I'll fix him." He then proceeded to roar at the top of his lungs, "OH, LOOK AT THAT MAGICAL PHENOMENON!!!"
Telemain's eyes snapped into focus. "Where?" he yelled, whirling around.
"False alarm." Numair calmly sat in his chair. "I'm Numair, and you're in Tortall. I do believe you've had a transuniversal transport."
"Yes!" Telemain straightened up and proceeded to babble like a brook. "I do believe the luminescence in the portals was caused by the fact that-I'm Telemain, by the way-the wand, or staff, which might carry the same magical properties as-oh, I'm from the Enchanted Forest-a wizard's staff, although it was made of rowan, and the wizard's of unidentifiable material..."
Numair actually looks like he understands, thought Daine. After a few minutes of trying to follow their conversation, she threw her hands in the air and stalked out. Numair and Telemain didn't even notice.
**********
Hehe! Whaddya think? Review please!
