Title: Stairway To Heaven

Chapter: One/?

Rating: R

Pairings: KW/KL, Kerry Weaver, Elizabeth Corday

Genre: Drama

Spoilers: Up to and including season eight

Timeline: After Four Corners

Beta Reader: Scotty Welles



Summary: What if during Witch Hunt, and the

following Episodes it wasn't fear that kept Kerry

from helping Kim. What if there was something else

going on with her. What if Kim had no idea

about what that something was.



Disclaimer: Not mine. All characters belong to

Warner Bros and Michael Crichton.







Artist: Led Zeppelin



Title: Stairway To Heaven





There's a lady who's sure

All that glitters is gold

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

When she gets there she knows

If the stores are all closed

With a word she can get what she came for.

Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall

But she wants to be sure

'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.

In a tree by the brook

There's a songbird who sings,

Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,

Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get

When I look to the west,

And my spirit is crying for leaving.

In my thoughts I have seen

Rings of smoke through the trees,

And the voices of those who standing looking.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,

Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon, If we all call the tune



Then the piper will lead us to reason.

And a new day will dawn

For those who stand long

And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, Don't be alarmed

now,

It's just a spring clean for the May queen.

Yes, there are two paths you can go by

But in the long run

There's still time to change the road you're on.

And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go

In case you don't know,

The piper's calling you to join him,

Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,

And did you know

Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road

Our shadows taller than our soul.

There walks a lady we all know

Who shines white light and wants to show

How ev'rything still turns to gold.

And if you listen very hard

The tune will come to you at last.

When all are one and one is all

To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.







Driven pain sliced through her cramped hands, while

she struggled to stop their violent shaking.

Breathing became harder as the bone-numbing pain that

crippled her body flared through them, up her arms and

into her wrists. The sharp, penetrating agony sheared

into her very soul, leaving her gasping through silent

tears.



The determination to remain quiet became harder to

remember, impossible to carry out. The willpower that

made her a legend in the hospital fell away before the

lonely self-doubt and the realization of the true

seriousness of her body's betrayal.



The harsh, raking glare of the bright bathroom lights

blinded her tear-blurred eyes, making the nightmarish

pain seem even more unreal in her mind. The sobbing

gasp erupted from her hoarse throat when her sore hip

throbbed under her pale skin.



The water burst from the faucet, silent to her ears,

which could only hear the blood-pounding heat inside

her head. Convulsing hands dove into the freezing

water, while her whispered sobs pleaded for them to

cooperate with her.



She only had two more hours left on her shift, two

more hours to get through. Then they could do

whatever they wanted. But she had to get through

those two hours first.



The bang of the door slamming into the far wall

alerted her to another presence, giving her no time to

hide her struggles. Hands that refused to do what she

commanded splashed water onto her face to hide the

tears. Without looking, she snatched a paper towel

from the dispenser and occupied her hands with it,

hoping that whoever had barged into her sanctuary

wouldn't notice the uncontrollable shaking.



She risked looking up, and immediately regretted it,

as she found herself staring into Elizabeth's

unforgiving face. Their working relationship had been

shaky before, but now it wasn't even neutral.



The surgeon seemed to regard her coolly for a moment

before approaching the sink next to her. "You feeling

okay?"



"Fine."



"Really? It just seemed like you were distracted in

the M & M."



She clenched her jaw, throwing the soaked paper towel

into the nearby trash can, using the excuse to keep

her back to the surgeon. "I've just had a lot on my

mind."



"Oh? Trying to think of another way to get rid of

Mark?"



The cold tone of the other woman seemed to snap the

last restraint in her. The disappointment, fear, and

pain of the last seven months flooded lose as she spun

on the woman she'd always respected. "Not everything

around here is about you or your husband," she

snarled. "I am sorry that he had cancer, I am sorry

that he's had such a hard time adjusting, and I am

sorry that not everyone around here can cater to your

every whim and beck-and-call. I am even sorrier that

I had to have him evaluated, but I did what I had to

in order to ensure the safety of the patients and to

protect the hospital!" She took a step towards the

shocked surgeon, her entire body shaking from emotion.

"I did what I had to do to protect him, and if you

are too blinded by your feelings for him to see that,

then that's your problem, not mine."



She grimaced slightly at the fresh bout of pain that

shot through her hands. The toll of working in an

inner city ER was starting to hit her harder and

harder, and with everything else...



"Are you sure you're all right?"



She swallowed back the lump of tears threatening to

spill from her eyes. The icy exterior of the surgeon

had melted away, leaving the concerned compassionate

surgeon that she always admired. "I'm fine."



The surgeon took her hand, looking up at her closely

as a hiss of pain escaped her lips.



She tried to get her hand away, but Elizabeth held on

tightly, examining them. "I said I'm fine."



"Really?" Elizabeth stepped towards her, until she

could feel the heat radiating off the other woman's

body. "And I suppose that you're just overworked?"



Kerry moved back from the taller woman. The months

weighed on her soul in a burden that would stay with

her for the rest of her life. "I have to get back to

work."



She brushed past Elizabeth, hating the surgeon for the

cruelty of their relationship. Wanting to hate her

for having things so easy, but she didn't. Elizabeth

worked for her marriage, worked for her child, worked

for her husband's life.



While Kerry simply ran.











Kim could smell the blood from the OR as she entered

the exclusive hospital. The hospital was one of the

toughest, and most critical to the San Francisco area.

Yet, everyday that went by, the more out of place she

felt. The more she missed County, and the

short-tempered redhead that ran it.



But that was then and this was now. There was nothing

left for her there. Kerry had turned out to be the

very thing Kim would never have expected. She'd

turned her back on Kim when she'd needed her the most,

and then she'd wanted Kim to come running back as

though it had never happened.



It had happened, though. Kerry had betrayed her

friendship, her love, and her very morals. Now it was

a ghost that haunted her every night and every

morning. She couldn't even go on a date without the

memories of the redhead appearing in the front of her

mind, teasing her with creamy white skin and satin

sweat.



Standards that Kerry had risen, continued to rise,

forcing her to compare her current lover to Kerry.

The small woman with a large heart, who was a demon in

bed.



"Dr. Legaspi, I need you to sign off on Mrs. Baboo,

before we can take her in."



(** Ohh, that poor woman. I can imagine her growing

up, the other kids teasing her, calling her "My Sweet

Baboo!" Old 'Peanuts' joke. **)



She took the chart, scribbling her signature across it

with angry letters. She hated this place.



She slammed her clipboard onto the desk, sending a

large pile of charts spilling across the floor.

Ignoring the amused statement on the elderly nurse's

face, she bent over to pick them up guiltily.



Chart after chart, she slapped them onto a careless

pile. Her lanky form unfolded, so she could dump them

back onto the OR desk. The precarious pile slid over

it, leaving one chart glaring up at her.



WEAVER, KERRY.



"What the hell...?" She flipped the chart open, the

voice in her mind taunting her about breaking moral

and hospital policy. But the ex-lover in her needed to

know what was going on.



She scanned the chart hurriedly, noting absently that

the date of surgery was the day after she was fired.

The date of diagnosis... Her eyes snapped back to the

line, freezing at the implications of what it said.



"February..." Any anger she still had faded away into

a dizzy array of hurt and concern. Suddenly

everything made sense. Kerry's distance, how quiet

she'd been the last two weeks they were together, the

little problems she'd been having that Kerry had

brushed off as being the result of too much work.



"Oh Kerry, why didn't you tell me?"











Her heart pounded into her chest, through spot-soaked

eyes that wanted nothing more than the peace that

sleep would bring once more. The nights and days were

no longer distinguishable, running into each other in

a blur of pain and desperation.



The phone rang, and she ignored it like a neighbor's

radio played too loud.



All she wanted was to curl up in a dark corner and

stay there until she died. The relief of release

allowing her soul the paradise she craved. But then

again, the gods didn't seem to want to end her

suffering anytime soon.



BEEP! "Kerry, it's Elizabeth. I was wondering if we

could talk..."



"I bet you do." She shut off the answering machine,

not wanting to hear any of the messages that were on

there. Having to put up with Elizabeth's grudge at

work was bad enough without having to put up with it

at home.



Some slight degree of oblivion had begun to seep over

her when the phone rang again, yanking her violently

back to merciless consciousness. 'Damn it, Corday,

take a hint, would you please?'



She stared numbly at the ringing phone, trying to

decide whether to answer it or not. All she wanted to

do was to crawl into her large empty bed and pretend

for just a few minutes that there was nothing wrong in

her life.



The weariness in her body dragged her up the stairs

and into her bedroom. The darkness was a blanket of

comfort that slide over her pain ridden body,

engulfing her in a serene peace that she needed more

than anything else in the world.











Kim dropped the receiver back into the cradle and

leaned back in her chair. She hadn't answered the

phone. So either she was ignoring it, or something

had happened. The surgery could've missed something,

or her body had cramped up. Or maybe...



She sighed, dropping her head forward. This was

getting her nowhere fast. Besides, what would she

say? 'Hey Kerry, how are you? Oh and by the way, I

looked in your chart at Kennedy Hospital and know

everything.'



Her hand twitched over the phone unconsciously, a

decision itching at her mind, until she finally began

to dial. She had no choice in this.



"Hello, Don? Kim Legaspi. Is that job still open?"