This chapter is one of my favorites, because it has my two favorite characters in it. Oh, and I make a small appearance, too. Looking back at it, I see that I am quite mean to Miaka. In fact, I'm down right nasty. Oh well, it's just a story.
***I claim ownership to nothing except myself, some original characters, and some twisted ideas***
8) In Which Miaka Joins Two Mad Hatters For Tea and Manages to Piss Off the Author
Miaka stumbled along the path, gripping her middle.
"I'm so hungry," she said, between stomach growls. "I could eat five nine inch cakes."
Miaka continued forward, hoping something, someone, (anything really) would come along and offer her food. She focused on the path before her, hoping it would take her mind off food. It didn't. After several minutes, Miaka was about to give up. Then she saw that up ahead the path branched off to the left and the right. In the middle of the path, a shiny object lay. Miaka ran over to it. It was a fork. She picked it up and held it in front of her like a divining rod. Light from above reflected off the clean, shiny, metal eating utensil.
"Please," she said, now so desperate for food that she was talking to a fork, "please show me the way to food."
The fork quivered, and very slowly it bent towards the right.
"FOOD!" she yelled and ran in the direction the fork had pointed to.
Miaka reached the clearing in five minutes flat. What she saw would make anyone cry with joy. A long ten foot table set for ten people lay covered in cakes, tarts, scones, brownies, all the sweets one could imagine. A large teapot placed in the center acted as a centerpiece. Sitting at the table were two guys.
One had dark blue hair and funky eyebrows. The other had red hair and was holding a large diamond fan. They both sat at the table, laughing.
Miaka walked up to them. "Hi I'm Miaka and I'm so hungry can I please have some of this delicious looking food" she asked, leaving out all punctuation marks.
The two guys looked at her.
"I'm Koji," the funky-eyebrowed one said.
"And I'm Tasuki," said the red head.
"And we're the Mad Hatters!" they announced in perfect unison.
"There's two Mad Hatters?"
"We couldn't figure out who would be the Mad Hatter and who would be the March Hare, so we decided to both be Mad Hatters," Tasuki said.
"And so far, it's worked out great!" yelled Koji.
"Have you been drinking?" Miaka asked suspiciously.
"Just tea!" said Tasuki a little to loudly.
At that moment Koji spilled his drink and Tasuki laughed at him. Koji laughed too, and soon the two were cracking jokes.
Miaka looked at the table filled with wonderful food and then glanced at the two people sitting at it. She hesitated, wondering how safe it was to be with these two characters.
"Please, Miaka, sit down. They're harmless."
"Who's that?!"
A girl with long dark brown hair sat in front of her. She had on a pair of jeans and a light blue shirt. She smiled.
"Wait! You weren't there before! How'd you get there?" Miaka eyed the girl, then gasped. "You're the doorgirl!"
"Yes, that's one of my jobs," the girl replied.
"Who are you? How do you know my name?"
"I am Megan. The author." She smiled again. Raising her left hand, she snapped her fingers and a chair pulled away from the table.
"Please sit. We have more than enough room at the table. And I know how hungry you are."
Miaka, hesitated, but hunger overcame fear. She plopped down on the chair and immediately reached for one of the delicious looking brownies.
"So tell me," Miaka said between mouthfuls of cake, "if you're the author, how can you be here and write the story at the same time?"
"I am the author. I can do anything I want. " Megan looked at Miaka's clothes and raised an eyebrow. They turned bright fuchsia with white polka dots.
"YAAAHH! I get your point!" Miaka yelled. "Change them back! Please!"
Miaka' s screeching had caught the attention of Tasuki. He grinned and tried to hold back laughter, but couldn't. Miaka stared at him, attempting the evil eye but failing. Tasuki laughed harder. Megan started to giggle. Then she took a deep breath and regained composure.
"What a cool trick," Tasuki said after several minutes of non-stop laughter. "Do that again."
Megan patted Tasuki' s hand. "Later."
Koji, losing interest in other people's conversation, started one of his own. "You would not believe what I saw the other day! What? A flying pig. Is that so? Honest! Had two wings on its back and was flapping them up and down, trying to stay in the air. Did it fly far? No. Fell from lack of..."
Miaka looked at Koji. He sat on her left. As nonchalantly as possible, she tried scooting over to the right. "He talks to himself?" she muttered.
" And answers, too." Megan said.
"TASUKI!" Koji suddenly roared.
"Huh?"
"Change spots!"
"What?" Miaka asked, as she cut herself a slice of pecan pie.
Koji and Tasuki got out of their chairs. Tasuki stumbled, steadied himself, took Koji' s arm and interlocking it in his, danced in a little circle.
"They dance, too?" Miaka said as she placed the pie on her plate.
Megan got out of her chair and pulled Tasuki away from Koji. Taking his arm like he did with Koji, they danced in a circle. Koji continued to dance by himself for several seconds. Then, realizing his partner was with someone else, he pulled Miaka from her chair and started square dancing with her.
"Help me!" she cried. "I just want to eat!"
"Change spots, change spots!" Megan yelled.
Koji, Tasuki, and Megan stopped dancing and stood behind their chairs. The three of them then moved one place setting to the right. Thus Megan was sitting where Tasuki had been, Tasuki was sitting were Koji had been, and Koji now sat where Miaka had been.
The three took their seats and continued talking. Miaka blinked, trying to regain her senses. Even the author was crazy .
Remembering her pie, she ran back to the table. Koji, though, had just finished it. He burped.
"You jerk! you ate my pie!"
"It was on my plate."
"No fair! You stole my seat!"
"Hey, we changed spots!"
"MEANIE!"
Megan sniffed the teacup that Tasuki had been drinking out of. "Tasuki," she said in a stern tone of voice, "have you been drinking?"
"Yes," he said sheepishly. "But not the *hic* good stuff." He grinned. "I'm saving that for tomorrow's party."
"I think you'd better just drink tea for the rest of today ." Megan said as she poured him a cup.
"Wait!" he yelled, staggering out of his seat. "It's not hot!" He pulled out his diamond fan and waved it in the air. He pointed it at the teapot and teacup. "REKKA SHINEN!!" he yelled. Flames shot out from his fan. His aim was off, however, and he ended up flaming most of the food.
"Hee hee," Tasuki said as he fell back into his seat, "its one of those *hic* French dishes where everything's on fire." Then he fell forward into his plate, unconscious. Fortunately, there was nothing on it.
"They don't call you the Drunken Pyro for nothin'," Megan said as she affectionately patted him on the head.
"Crazy, everyone's crazy. Even the author's crazy. Crazy and drunk... "
"What?" Megan asked Miaka.
"I thought you said they were harmless. Did you see how close that drunken moron got to frying me?" Miaka cried. She took an empty plate and began hitting Tasuki with it. Tasuki groaned.
Megan's eyes snapped over to Miaka's direction, successfully achieving the evil eye.
"Uh oh, " Miaka whispered.
Megan raised her right hand and time stopped. Koji, who was pouring tea into a cup at that moment, froze. Even the tea stopped flowing. Tasuki lay with his head on his plate, unmoving. Only Miaka and Megan were free of the time freeze.
"As author," Megan said, "I have special privileges, one which includes freezing time."
Miaka gulped.
"Another, which is killing off the main character."
"Would that be me?" Miaka asked. She grinned nervously. Megan stared back. Miaka cowered behind the plate she was holding.
"Please don't hurt me," she whispered.
"Don't ever say anything bad about Tasuki and Koji, even if they are..." she searched for the right word, "legally intoxicated. They would never hurt anyone unless that person brought it upon themselves. I made you the main character. Even though you are a ditz, a pig, and stupid I thought that I'd give you a chance; I thought maybe you could prove me wrong. And now you badmouth two of my favorite characters? And then assault one of them, the one who is unconscious and unable to defend himself?" She pointed to Tasuki.
"I guess I blew it, " Miaka said.
"That's an understatement!" Megan screamed.
"I just want to find Tamahome, " Miaka whimpered.
"Oh, you just want to find Tamahome," Megan mimicked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, I'll write it so you can't have him!"
Miaka's eyes went wide with fright.
"You 'll finish the story since you are the main character, but I won't let you have Tamahome," Megan said, her eyes blazing with anger.
"You can't have him!"
"I don't want him. I simply want you to suffer. After all, it's only a story, right?"
Miaka trembled. "You're as bad a Nakago," she whispered.
"I HEARD THAT!"
Miaka cringed.
"I'll give you five minutes to get out of here and on with the story before I unfreeze time. If you're not out of here by then, I'll flame you, and believe me, I don't need a fan."
Miaka nodded. Dropping the plate, she snatched a piece of unburned cake off the table and scrambled out of her chair. Then she ran as fast as she could away from the author and characters.
Time unfroze and as Miaka fled from the scene, she heard conversation
resume.
"Tasuki, are you okay?"
"Where's that Miaka girl?"
"Oh, she said she was busy and had to be going..."
Ok, so I get mad at Miaka for a very trivial thing. Yeah, it's lame, but I needed her to do something that would make everyone angry at her -- it's important later on. So flame me, praise me, but remember, I enjoy reviews!
