Secrets
By Lolo Winner
Disclaimer: I didn't own them when I started and I sure as hell don't own them now. Oh yeah, I do own all of the made up charas though.
Mel ignored Clint, and the looks they were getting from her parents' friends, and continued to change Ashton as if nothing was going on. "Mel, you have to at least talk to me." He said, "Didn't you get the flowers I sent? And the letters? You won't return my calls and they won't let me in when I come. You can't ignore me forever."
"I want to be alone for a while." She buttoned up Ashton's pants.
"What ever happened to me being around for Ashton?"
She turned to him with an annoyed look on her face, "Didn't you hear me? I said that I want to be alone for a while."
"Yeah? For how long? A few months? A few years?"
"Clint just go."
"No, I want an answer. You didn't give me one when you broke up with me, and I still want one."
"I gave you an answer. I don't trust myself around you."
"Mel…"
"Clint, please, just go."
"Ashton, do you want Clint to go?" He asked, ignoring Mel.
"Don't." Mel said.
"No, I want to know. Ashton, do you want Clint to go?" He asked again.
Ashton looked to Mel and then back to Clint, "Cint!" He said.
"There you go. Now here, lets see if you can get my name right. Can you say daddy?"
Mel's eyes went wide, "Clint stop it!"
"You said that he was going to learn sooner or later, well come on, let's start teaching him now. Say it big boy: daddy."
"Come on Ashton." Mel scooped him up and started to walk away from Clint.
"Mel I was-"
She turned around and faced him; hugging Ashton close to her, "Leave us alone! I'll tell you when you can come back."
Everyone saw Mel and Clint's little fight. The fact that she yelled 'leave us alone' didn't help much either. Relena ran after Mel as she took flight up stairs. Duo tried, and failed, to stop Heero. Everyone looked on, absolutely dumbfounded, as Heero stormed Clint. He punched Clint in the face, "Leave her alone!" He yelled.
Duo grabbed Heero's hands and tried to hold him back, "Come on Heero, not this old game again."
Clint wasn't afraid of Heero, even though he should have been, "I just wanted an answer Mr. Yuy."
"Clint drop it, and run damn it!" Duo yelled. He was loosing the battle with Heero.
"No dad, I'm not afraid of him. What are you going to do to me? Oh not so high and mighty with out your gun now are we?"
Hilde ran over to Clint, trying to hold him back. Trowa and Wu Fei took on trying to help Duo hold Heero back, as Quatre assisted Hilde. "I don't know what's going on, but you two have to stop this." Quatre said.
"Not so high and mighty with out my gun? Hump, shall we see."
"Good God Heero, don't even joke!" Hilde said.
"You're father's right, you better not push Heero." Trowa said.
"What's he going to do? Pull that Perfect Soldier stuff my dad's always talking about?
Relena came back downstairs, "Heero!" She cried out over the chaos. Heero didn't seem to hear her as he still wrestled against Trowa, Wu Fei, and Duo. "Heero stop it!" She said even louder. Heero stopped immediately and the whole room grew quiet. He looked over at Relena. "Come here." She said. He jerked himself out of the grasps of his friends and walked over to where she was at the base of the stairs.
Hilde stepped in front of Clint with a harsh look on her face. She looked up at her six-foot tall son, "I don't even want to see you challenge Heero again ever! Do you hear me?"
"Why not?"
Wu Fei put his hand on Hilde's shoulder, "Why don't you let us tell him why not."
"You aren't going to hurt him are you?"
Quatre laughed, "I assure you Hilde that we won't hurt him."
"Okay fine, maybe you can get through to him."
"Come on guys, outside." Wu Fei said. Clint shrugged and followed Quatre, Trowa, and Wu Fei.
Trowa turned around, "You coming Duo?"
"Nah, I think you guys can handle it." He said.
Trowa nodded and followed the others outside.
Quatre closed the door behind them as they walked out into the backyard. Wu Fei began his explanation on why it wasn't a good idea to challenge Heero. "You don't seem to understand that Yuy can kill you in a matter of seconds boy." Wu Fei leaned up against the white wood railing of the porch.
Clint laughed, "I get that whole ohhh perfect soldier shit. But you know this isn't war any more, and he's not just going to kill some innocent kid."
"Hum." Wu Fei took out a handgun. Clint tensed up just slightly. "Do you know what it is to break down a gun?"
"Yeah sure, that's when you dismantle it right?"
"Someone who is knowledgeable about guns can break one down in about 45 seconds, an expert in roughly 30." He tossed the gun to Trowa with out warning. Trowa, who wasn't even looking snatched it out of the air. "Quatre- "
"Way ahead of you." Quatre brought up his left arm and exposed his watch. "Trowa, break it down." He commanded.
Trowa moved his hands swiftly across the heavy metal. In a very short time he called out, "Time."
"18 seconds." Quatre said. He looked up, "Getting a little rusty there Trowa." Trowa 'humped' and reassembled the gun. He threw it back to Wu Fei.
"At last count Heero could do it in 15." He informed Clint, who was unimpressed.
"Yeah? So what he can disassemble a weapon, that doesn't mean he's going to kill me."
Wu Fei ignored his comment and continued, "You are probably too young to remember the Gonnell massacre."
"Yeah, but I've heard about it."
"What do you know?"
"That 13 leaders of the biggest organized crime family were murdered."
"How?"
"Their necks were all snapped that's how; all done by someone's bare hands. Never found the guy either, it was determined that it was probably an inside job though."
"Why's that?" Trowa asked.
"Well because there was no forced entry and they were in a place that only someone inside the gang would know about."
"What if I told you that Heero was the one who killed those men?" Wu Fei said. Quatre closed his eyes and looked away, obviously pained by the statement.
"I would say that you were bull shitting me."
"Listen to me kid." Wu Fei said. "Heero was a preventer for a very short time. The Gonnell case was Heero's last. He couldn't stand killing any more people."
"Heero found out about that cabin in the woods of L-1X102. He worked his way passed the security and burst in on the family. He was able to kill every single fully-grown man in that house with out being killed himself. He went a little overboard though, and insisted on doing it by hand—his favorite method." Trowa said.
"He let it get personal. The Gonnells whacked an undercover preventer he was friends with, so he became a bit of a vigilante. The reason no one ever knew it was him-- not even the preventers themselves, was because he is that good. He can get in and out of a place with out being detected by the most sophisticated forensics, and he can kill someone and make it so there aren't even records that that person even existed in the first place." Quatre said.
"If anyone does miss you I'll erase your name from the face of the colonies." Clint mumbled.
"It's not a question of 'if he can kill you' but more of a question of 'when he can kill you'." Quatre said.
Wu Fei gave a snorted laugh, "Or how he can kill you. You remember his list of methods?"
"Yeah, did anyone keep count?" Trowa asked.
"1,248." Quatre shuddered, "God that was a disturbing night."
Wu Fei laughed, "You actually counted Quatre?"
"Well yeah, it was hard not to. I mean the guy did explain over 100 different ways to break someone's neck."
Clint held up his hands and waved them around, "Okay okay I get the point! I promise I won't push Heero now stop with all this killing crap it's making me sick."
"Heero I think you should go talk to Mel-Anna." Relena said.
"But Relena you know-"
"I know you aren't good with words, but trust me on this hunny, you really should talk to her." She continued, unaware of Duo's eavesdropping.
Heero sighed, "Relena." He said almost whining.
Duo tried not to laugh, //Heero, whining!?//
"Please Heero, it will be good for both of you."
Heero sighed, "Fine I'll go talk to her."
Heero knocked on the closed door at the top of the stairs. "Mel-Anna, are you in there?"
"Leave me alone."
Heero opened the door, completely ignoring her request. She was sitting in an armchair with her legs drawn up into her chest crying. Ashton was laid out on the bed, sleeping comfortably. "I said leave me alone."
"I know what you said, but now it's time for you to hear what I have to say." He closed the door and leaned up against it.
Mel looked up; she knew that this was serious. She wiped her tears, "Okay, I'm listening."
"You remember when your mother told you about… us?"
Mel nodded.
Heero took in a deep breath and tried to continue, "Well um… after Sean died… God I couldn't stop blaming myself. I blamed myself for everything; for getting your mother pregnant, for his death, I blamed myself for being so stupid and letting that happen, for not knowing any better. I mean… I'll even admit it—I did beat myself up a bit much for what happened. Not just mentally, but physically for what happened." Heero pulled up his sleeve shirt and revealed the pink scars that traced his arms.
"Oh father." Mel whispered.
He tugged his sleeve back down, daunted even himself on how much pain he inflicted. "You're mother… she… well, she didn't like seeing me like that. She nailed me every day, trying to convince me that it wasn't my fault. But still… I felt like I had to blame someone, I felt that someone was to blame for what happened."
Mel nodded, "Mom."
Heero shook his head, "No." He paused for a moment. He began again as he moved away from the door, "I blamed my parents." He said as he opened a drawer of the desk that was in the room and drew out a piece of paper and a pen. With out breaking stride he continued to speak as he jotted something down on the paper, "I never knew my parents Mel. I couldn't tell you their names, what they looked like, I couldn't tell you anything about them since I don't remember them. That made it okay for me to blame them. I blamed them for not being there to teach me that sex should wait until marriage, or to be careful. You know, it's easy to place blame on someone when they aren't there to defend themselves." He folded the paper up.
He looked up at Mel, their eyes met. Hers were beginning to moisten; she could guess what he was about to say. Heero continued in a lower voice, "So then when you… you know. By my definition of who was to blame… it became my fault."
"Father, it's not your fault."
"I wish I could believe you." He said coldly. Heero walked over to Mel. He knelt down in front of her so that their faces were even, "I'm so sorry Mel- Anna. I'm so sorry for how I treated you and for how cold I was being, but I realized that it was at least partially my fault. I should of brought you up better, I shouldn't of let you be alone with him."
Mel brought her arm away from her shins and clasped her father's hand, "No, it's not your fault dad. It's mine."
"Well then it's my fault for Sean's death."
Mel was silent, she couldn't think of something to say.
Heero turned his daughter's hand around and placed the square of paper in it. He stood and walked back over to the door, he continued to talk, but lowered his voice steadily as he approached the door. "No matter what way you put it, I'm still totally at fault, for at least something Mel, and that you can't dispute, you're silence says that."
Mel unfolded the paper she read the few words on the page.
Duo is listening.
By Lolo Winner
Disclaimer: I didn't own them when I started and I sure as hell don't own them now. Oh yeah, I do own all of the made up charas though.
Mel ignored Clint, and the looks they were getting from her parents' friends, and continued to change Ashton as if nothing was going on. "Mel, you have to at least talk to me." He said, "Didn't you get the flowers I sent? And the letters? You won't return my calls and they won't let me in when I come. You can't ignore me forever."
"I want to be alone for a while." She buttoned up Ashton's pants.
"What ever happened to me being around for Ashton?"
She turned to him with an annoyed look on her face, "Didn't you hear me? I said that I want to be alone for a while."
"Yeah? For how long? A few months? A few years?"
"Clint just go."
"No, I want an answer. You didn't give me one when you broke up with me, and I still want one."
"I gave you an answer. I don't trust myself around you."
"Mel…"
"Clint, please, just go."
"Ashton, do you want Clint to go?" He asked, ignoring Mel.
"Don't." Mel said.
"No, I want to know. Ashton, do you want Clint to go?" He asked again.
Ashton looked to Mel and then back to Clint, "Cint!" He said.
"There you go. Now here, lets see if you can get my name right. Can you say daddy?"
Mel's eyes went wide, "Clint stop it!"
"You said that he was going to learn sooner or later, well come on, let's start teaching him now. Say it big boy: daddy."
"Come on Ashton." Mel scooped him up and started to walk away from Clint.
"Mel I was-"
She turned around and faced him; hugging Ashton close to her, "Leave us alone! I'll tell you when you can come back."
Everyone saw Mel and Clint's little fight. The fact that she yelled 'leave us alone' didn't help much either. Relena ran after Mel as she took flight up stairs. Duo tried, and failed, to stop Heero. Everyone looked on, absolutely dumbfounded, as Heero stormed Clint. He punched Clint in the face, "Leave her alone!" He yelled.
Duo grabbed Heero's hands and tried to hold him back, "Come on Heero, not this old game again."
Clint wasn't afraid of Heero, even though he should have been, "I just wanted an answer Mr. Yuy."
"Clint drop it, and run damn it!" Duo yelled. He was loosing the battle with Heero.
"No dad, I'm not afraid of him. What are you going to do to me? Oh not so high and mighty with out your gun now are we?"
Hilde ran over to Clint, trying to hold him back. Trowa and Wu Fei took on trying to help Duo hold Heero back, as Quatre assisted Hilde. "I don't know what's going on, but you two have to stop this." Quatre said.
"Not so high and mighty with out my gun? Hump, shall we see."
"Good God Heero, don't even joke!" Hilde said.
"You're father's right, you better not push Heero." Trowa said.
"What's he going to do? Pull that Perfect Soldier stuff my dad's always talking about?
Relena came back downstairs, "Heero!" She cried out over the chaos. Heero didn't seem to hear her as he still wrestled against Trowa, Wu Fei, and Duo. "Heero stop it!" She said even louder. Heero stopped immediately and the whole room grew quiet. He looked over at Relena. "Come here." She said. He jerked himself out of the grasps of his friends and walked over to where she was at the base of the stairs.
Hilde stepped in front of Clint with a harsh look on her face. She looked up at her six-foot tall son, "I don't even want to see you challenge Heero again ever! Do you hear me?"
"Why not?"
Wu Fei put his hand on Hilde's shoulder, "Why don't you let us tell him why not."
"You aren't going to hurt him are you?"
Quatre laughed, "I assure you Hilde that we won't hurt him."
"Okay fine, maybe you can get through to him."
"Come on guys, outside." Wu Fei said. Clint shrugged and followed Quatre, Trowa, and Wu Fei.
Trowa turned around, "You coming Duo?"
"Nah, I think you guys can handle it." He said.
Trowa nodded and followed the others outside.
Quatre closed the door behind them as they walked out into the backyard. Wu Fei began his explanation on why it wasn't a good idea to challenge Heero. "You don't seem to understand that Yuy can kill you in a matter of seconds boy." Wu Fei leaned up against the white wood railing of the porch.
Clint laughed, "I get that whole ohhh perfect soldier shit. But you know this isn't war any more, and he's not just going to kill some innocent kid."
"Hum." Wu Fei took out a handgun. Clint tensed up just slightly. "Do you know what it is to break down a gun?"
"Yeah sure, that's when you dismantle it right?"
"Someone who is knowledgeable about guns can break one down in about 45 seconds, an expert in roughly 30." He tossed the gun to Trowa with out warning. Trowa, who wasn't even looking snatched it out of the air. "Quatre- "
"Way ahead of you." Quatre brought up his left arm and exposed his watch. "Trowa, break it down." He commanded.
Trowa moved his hands swiftly across the heavy metal. In a very short time he called out, "Time."
"18 seconds." Quatre said. He looked up, "Getting a little rusty there Trowa." Trowa 'humped' and reassembled the gun. He threw it back to Wu Fei.
"At last count Heero could do it in 15." He informed Clint, who was unimpressed.
"Yeah? So what he can disassemble a weapon, that doesn't mean he's going to kill me."
Wu Fei ignored his comment and continued, "You are probably too young to remember the Gonnell massacre."
"Yeah, but I've heard about it."
"What do you know?"
"That 13 leaders of the biggest organized crime family were murdered."
"How?"
"Their necks were all snapped that's how; all done by someone's bare hands. Never found the guy either, it was determined that it was probably an inside job though."
"Why's that?" Trowa asked.
"Well because there was no forced entry and they were in a place that only someone inside the gang would know about."
"What if I told you that Heero was the one who killed those men?" Wu Fei said. Quatre closed his eyes and looked away, obviously pained by the statement.
"I would say that you were bull shitting me."
"Listen to me kid." Wu Fei said. "Heero was a preventer for a very short time. The Gonnell case was Heero's last. He couldn't stand killing any more people."
"Heero found out about that cabin in the woods of L-1X102. He worked his way passed the security and burst in on the family. He was able to kill every single fully-grown man in that house with out being killed himself. He went a little overboard though, and insisted on doing it by hand—his favorite method." Trowa said.
"He let it get personal. The Gonnells whacked an undercover preventer he was friends with, so he became a bit of a vigilante. The reason no one ever knew it was him-- not even the preventers themselves, was because he is that good. He can get in and out of a place with out being detected by the most sophisticated forensics, and he can kill someone and make it so there aren't even records that that person even existed in the first place." Quatre said.
"If anyone does miss you I'll erase your name from the face of the colonies." Clint mumbled.
"It's not a question of 'if he can kill you' but more of a question of 'when he can kill you'." Quatre said.
Wu Fei gave a snorted laugh, "Or how he can kill you. You remember his list of methods?"
"Yeah, did anyone keep count?" Trowa asked.
"1,248." Quatre shuddered, "God that was a disturbing night."
Wu Fei laughed, "You actually counted Quatre?"
"Well yeah, it was hard not to. I mean the guy did explain over 100 different ways to break someone's neck."
Clint held up his hands and waved them around, "Okay okay I get the point! I promise I won't push Heero now stop with all this killing crap it's making me sick."
"Heero I think you should go talk to Mel-Anna." Relena said.
"But Relena you know-"
"I know you aren't good with words, but trust me on this hunny, you really should talk to her." She continued, unaware of Duo's eavesdropping.
Heero sighed, "Relena." He said almost whining.
Duo tried not to laugh, //Heero, whining!?//
"Please Heero, it will be good for both of you."
Heero sighed, "Fine I'll go talk to her."
Heero knocked on the closed door at the top of the stairs. "Mel-Anna, are you in there?"
"Leave me alone."
Heero opened the door, completely ignoring her request. She was sitting in an armchair with her legs drawn up into her chest crying. Ashton was laid out on the bed, sleeping comfortably. "I said leave me alone."
"I know what you said, but now it's time for you to hear what I have to say." He closed the door and leaned up against it.
Mel looked up; she knew that this was serious. She wiped her tears, "Okay, I'm listening."
"You remember when your mother told you about… us?"
Mel nodded.
Heero took in a deep breath and tried to continue, "Well um… after Sean died… God I couldn't stop blaming myself. I blamed myself for everything; for getting your mother pregnant, for his death, I blamed myself for being so stupid and letting that happen, for not knowing any better. I mean… I'll even admit it—I did beat myself up a bit much for what happened. Not just mentally, but physically for what happened." Heero pulled up his sleeve shirt and revealed the pink scars that traced his arms.
"Oh father." Mel whispered.
He tugged his sleeve back down, daunted even himself on how much pain he inflicted. "You're mother… she… well, she didn't like seeing me like that. She nailed me every day, trying to convince me that it wasn't my fault. But still… I felt like I had to blame someone, I felt that someone was to blame for what happened."
Mel nodded, "Mom."
Heero shook his head, "No." He paused for a moment. He began again as he moved away from the door, "I blamed my parents." He said as he opened a drawer of the desk that was in the room and drew out a piece of paper and a pen. With out breaking stride he continued to speak as he jotted something down on the paper, "I never knew my parents Mel. I couldn't tell you their names, what they looked like, I couldn't tell you anything about them since I don't remember them. That made it okay for me to blame them. I blamed them for not being there to teach me that sex should wait until marriage, or to be careful. You know, it's easy to place blame on someone when they aren't there to defend themselves." He folded the paper up.
He looked up at Mel, their eyes met. Hers were beginning to moisten; she could guess what he was about to say. Heero continued in a lower voice, "So then when you… you know. By my definition of who was to blame… it became my fault."
"Father, it's not your fault."
"I wish I could believe you." He said coldly. Heero walked over to Mel. He knelt down in front of her so that their faces were even, "I'm so sorry Mel- Anna. I'm so sorry for how I treated you and for how cold I was being, but I realized that it was at least partially my fault. I should of brought you up better, I shouldn't of let you be alone with him."
Mel brought her arm away from her shins and clasped her father's hand, "No, it's not your fault dad. It's mine."
"Well then it's my fault for Sean's death."
Mel was silent, she couldn't think of something to say.
Heero turned his daughter's hand around and placed the square of paper in it. He stood and walked back over to the door, he continued to talk, but lowered his voice steadily as he approached the door. "No matter what way you put it, I'm still totally at fault, for at least something Mel, and that you can't dispute, you're silence says that."
Mel unfolded the paper she read the few words on the page.
Duo is listening.
