"PARROTS"

Chapter Five

After a moment Otacon looked up at me. "I suppose I'd have to get to this part sooner or later..." He sighed, "So, my dad had been married to Julie about a year, it was the end of July ... and I had just finished my second year of MIT On-line. Emma had just turned 6. -- er... My dad told us that he couldn't get time off for the summer like he had the year before. --Julie was restless because she never saw him... -- It was, uh, a short time after the summer ended, that ... the fighting ... started." He said, looking away.

"Fighting, huhn? That can't be good."

"You really have a way with words, Snake. -- Uhh... -- Julie and my father, uhm..." He paused to start over, " --My dad would come home, and Julie would attack him for never being there during they day. He would attack her for quitting her job as his secretary. And it would just go back and forth. Nobody slept. Er -- Emma would sit in my room on those nights. Sometimes I'd read to her, or we'd try and play house or something ... usually that fell through. Most often we'd just sit there quietly... Just having each others presents --" He cut himself off, the continued from where he had gone astray, "-- It scared her when they fought. Hell, Snake, it scared me. For a whole year things were looking good, then it all went down hill again. I mean, there I am, 18 years old, and agonizing over my parents fighting. Uh, Emma was so afraid they would split up. I was a little more optimistic about it. I knew how my father was. He would try and work things out." Otacon sighed sadly.

"After about a month of constant fighting things finally died down."

"Hm?" I perked up.

"Yeah. No fighting. No talking. No sleeping in the same room. No eating at the table together. Nothing."

"Oh..." I said, drooping.

"Even though they seldom saw each other anyway... This bothered me a whole lot. My father was very upset. He would come home very late. Very tired. Julie -- well, I couldn't tell what she was thinking. She, ah, she was just quiet. She wouldn't talk to us at all. At least my father attempted to explain things to Emma and I... --Julie just..." He shook his head, "Plotted."

There was a long pause. "So, ah ... hm... Things were still tense at home. Emma and I resumed playing house full swing." He let out an almost bitter sounding chuckle, he then continued solemnly, "My father was not looking well. His work was suffering. I remember that he had made a huge mistake on one of his air planes and it would have been terrible if it hadn't have been caught. I mean, it is very unlikely that a mistake like that would have made it through production ... but ... just the fact that he had made the mistake at all affected him a lot.

"It was ... uh, shortly after the fighting had stopped that, uhm ..." He fixed his glasses nervously. "--I was so naive! Damn..." He squeaked, clasping his hands over his face once more.

I waited patiently for him to calm down.

"Ahh... I'm sorry, Snake... I don't know how to tell you this..."

"I think I get the idea--"

"No, no... I have to tell you what happened. You need to understand... I - I was so lonely... All I had was Emma... And -- I ... wanted someone else in my life. It's my curse." He sighed forlornly. "Being so anxious for someone that you take whatever comes your way--"

"That's not true." I interrupted him before he could go any further.

"Hm...?"

"You know it's not. Tell me the story from your point of view and not what you think mine is."

He was kind of taken aback by this, "Well ... Uhm ... I don't know exactly what you mean...."

"I mean, you're being too hard on yourself. There must have been a rhyme to your reason. You just don't think I'll believe it when you tell me."

"Oh..." He nodded, swallowing anxiously. "Well..." He continued slowly, "What I said about being lonesome was true. But ... I had no intention of being that careless with my emotions."

"Who ever does?" I asked, "Sometimes 'carelessness' can't be helped."

"I suppose I should get this over with. --Uh ... Emma was visiting her grandmother on that night. It was Julie's idea -- but I didn't even make the connection until much, much later -- My dad was working late, as could be expected. Julie and I were alone. She called me into her room to talk to her. I asked her what was going on with my dad ... she brushed past the issue. She said she wanted to get to know me better. We didn't really talk about anything. But whatever Julie was saying she had it rehearsed. She knew exactly what to say to me to push my buttons. When I think back on it it makes me feel very ... exposed... -- She knew me well enough to know how to get me under her thumb, but I hardly knew anything about her. --But at the time... I felt like I did. She went on about how she felt about relationships and things. Stuff that felt like a subplot from an anime." He looked away self consciously. "I was drawn in like a moth to a flame. She asked me to go to dinner with her that night. At first I was nervous about it, but she promised me it would be fun, so I agreed.

"The dinner was nice. We just talked some more. I told her about school and we talked about Emma for a while, but she didn't seem too keen on the subject. She was just humoring me, though I didn't realize any of it at the time. -- I was too overwhelmed. It was so strange to have her showing interest in me. And when I asked her about it she'd told me that she'd been thinking about me a lot after she and my dad had stopped talking." He shook his head.

"We went home after dinner. My dad still wasn't back. And ... she told me not to tell my dad about dinner. When I asked her why ... she kissed me and told me 'That's why.' And of course I was far too shocked to say anything to anyone ... let alone my dad.

"The next day, though... I confronted her about it. She told me -- She told me that... I was everything that she loved about my father, that we didn't need to do anymore talking because she already knew how she felt about me... I didn't know what to think at first. A woman -- a real woman -- was actually in love with me, this barely legal 18 year old... The woman was my best friend's mother and my father's wife -- But..." He looked away, ashamed, his voice was beginning to falter, "I so wanted to believe that something like that could happen to me. That I would be chosen. That I would be loved. All my life I'd been waiting of someone who would love me, and here she was, in the flesh. Talking to me, whispering in my ear, holding me, touching me--" He cut off abruptly with a sob, realizing he had lost himself in his thoughts. Slowly he began to speak again, turning over every word.

"She was ... the only woman I've ever ... been with, Snake. It hurts me to think that now. I wish I never had -- regardless of its repercussions ... just on principle. It's against everything I believe. -- But, you're right, Snake ... in saying that I am being -- maybe -- a little too hard on myself. I was sure that I loved her, and she had convinced me that she loved me too. I didn't want to lose that -- that feeling." His eyes wandered from me, to the fire, to the parrot, then back to me. "I suppose you don't exactly know the feeling..."

"...!" What? Love? I was about to respond -- a little harshly, too -- but he continued, nearly reading my mind.

"...N-not love, Snake. That's not what I mean... -- I mean..." He sighed, "It's hard to explain ... it was more an ... infatuation. Kind of like...--"

"With Sniper Wolf?" I asked, suddenly.

He frowned over at me coldly, "That's not what I was going to say, Snake. Wolf was different..." He sighed, but continued on before I could ask him what exactly it was. "I was trying to say ... being in love with love ... not really the person."

"Ah..." I nodded.

"This 'relationship,' though... It went on and on ... My father got worse and worse. He was a completely different man at this point. He hardly ever shaved, he developed these sickly looking dark circles ... he was just ... not healthy. I would constantly be paranoid that he knew. That he had figured it out. Julie would assure me he had no idea -- he was never home... But -- he did know, Snake. I knew that, and she knew that. I just didn't let myself believe it. -- Besides... Emma was the one I was really worried about. If she'd ever found out... I - I don't know what I would have done.

"Emma -- she would try and talk to me, and I'd just be this -- ... this shell ... this blank body... --All I had going for me was Julie ... she kept me from going over the edge with guilt, which is really just a vicious cycle because she was the cause of it! But, Emma noticed. She knew there was something wrong. She knew because I wouldn't look at her. She was smart like that. She was only 6 years old ... but she was so smart." He paused with a sob, "She'd -- She'd take my glasses off so that she could see my eyes, as if she thought they would tell her everything -- And she would ... listen to my heart beat sometimes, like she had when we had first met. It was deceptive. I felt so heartless --" He suddenly stopped, letting out several sobs as he turned away from me, holding his face in his hands. I knew this was coming. His voice had been raising with intensity the whole time, and he was just too overwhelmed.

Silently I stood up, walked past him, then stopped to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He glanced up at me, sniffled, then looked away hiding his eyes. I gave him a pat on the shoulder and left the room...

"Hal... I miss you." The parrot squawked, awakened by Otacon's crying.

This induced a fresh stream of pained sobs from Otacon. I seriously wanted to shoot that parrot.


Chapter Six

I reentered the room a little over an hour later. It was about 3:30 now. Otacon appeared to be half asleep in the rocking chair, and the parrot had migrated over to the mantle, it was also half asleep.

I quietly sat back down in my chair. Otacon blinked and looked over at me. He wasn't wearing his glasses, they were hanging from his shirt collar.

"Sorry about that, Snake..." He said in a rather blank tone. He had been crying, and it had tired him out, but at least now he was relaxed enough to continue -- even if it was more from sheer fatigue than actually feeling better.

"Don't worry about it. Are you all right?"

"I, ah, I'll live..." he sighed, "I think I can go on with the story anyway..."

I nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah... The sooner I tell you everything the sooner I can get back to normal." He sniffed sadly, "This is no way to be... I can't stand it... Being depressed. It's not me, Snake. It would kill me--!" He was on the verge of hysteria again, but then managed to catch his breath.

There was a pause as Otacon got his thoughts straight. "I, ah ... left off at Emma and I ... Hmm ... She knew something was definitely wrong with me -- though she never really knew what. I tried to keep her company, to be her best friend, like I had been ... but ... I couldn't look at her without feeling guilty. --My father was suffering because of my actions, and I felt so guilty about it I was having trouble functioning, and Emma noticed..."

"Why didn't you stop seeing her -- Julie, I mean?"

Otacon whimpered, "Ah, I tried several times. But I couldn't over power her. She would talk me out of it sometimes. Tell me how happy I made her. She would tell me how happy I was. Sometimes, when talking didn't work she'd move on to touching." He glanced away, ashamed. "Sometimes I even managed to prevent that ... but her last resort always worked."

"What was that?"

"She threatened me. She threatened to tell my father -- to tell Emma all about our relationship. She'd tell me that she didn't want to have to resort to that, but I'd thank her for it in the future..." He shook his head sadly, "I was such a damn fool... --" He paused, clearing his throat self consciously, "Sorry. I'll... control myself..." He blinked. "Ahm... I just wish I'd seen what she was before --" He paused, looking up at me with determination, "... Snake, I have to be completely honest with you about my family... I tried not to make it sound too bad... But -- I guess that's just because I always tried to make the best of it. Frankly... My father was never home, we only really saw him on Sundays -- and occasionally during the summer, like I said -- but ... he was never there for us. For me, Emma, or Julie... His job was his first priority. Always. But -- I'm not lying when I say he did love us... He just ... had his own agenda. He wanted us around when he needed us... It didn't really matter when we needed him."

"Then, why did Julie stay with him?" I asked.

"That's the other half of the truth I didn't go into very much before." Otacon sighed, "Julie was a child, Snake. She was this little child that only cared about what she wanted. I guess in that respect she and my father were the same. They were both too self absorbed to notice what their actions did to other people. But, what separated my father and Julie was the fact that my father became obsessive and Julie became bored."

"...Bored?"

"She got bored with Emma's father so she left him. She got bored with her job so she quit. She got bored with Emma so she dumped her on her mother. She got bored with my father, so she stopped talking to him. -- She married my father because she was tired of living with her mother. -- My father had a lot of money. He could support her. She could dump Emma off on me. I already loved her, after all. My father was hardly ever home. Julie could do whatever she wanted, and no one would have any idea. She just hadn't counted on one thing."

"What's that?"

"Falling in love..." He sighed.

"With yo--?"

"--With my father! --... She loved my father. There was no doubt about that. That's why she didn't just pack up and leave -- leave Emma, and me, and my dad -- She couldn't leave him. She loved him. She just -- she wanted to hurt him, and I was the best tool she could have ever used to do it. Besides. It certainly must have thrilled her. To be doing something so dangerous. She was a pioneer in that respect. She had to live her life on the edge some way or another. It was just ... her nature. Her method and reasons for revenge on my father remind me of what Emma said back at the Big Shell. She said she wanted to hurt me... But -- She really just didn't know what else to do." He sighed, "But, I digress..." There was a pregnant pause.

"Now, you might have a better idea of why Emma was my only family. I just ... always tried to look on the bright side. Only paying attention to the love my father and Julie had -- and try not to pay attention to their failings. Failings that -- in anyone else's eyes -- greatly out weighed the love... But to me, love has more power than any failings." He paused, biting his lip.

"Julie and I had been seeing each other for about five months. It doesn't sound like that long -- But... February 'til July ... it seemed a lot longer than happier times would have... And every moment with Julie was an eternity. Good or bad..." He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I remember ... the month before it all came to a head -- June ... that was Emma's birthday..."

"What's up!" The parrot chirped.

I glanced tensely over at the parrot.

"I'm all right..." Otacon assured me, having seen my reaction. He paused, then continued, "Emma was so thrilled because she was turning 7. She would go on about it. It was happier time for me, among those bad months.

"My father had begun to open up to us a little more ... well ... not us. But he would talk to Emma. I guess she was the only one he trusted at that point." Otacon said, sadly, "Anyway. He had taken Emma out that Sunday. I didn't feel comfortable going with him ... so... Julie and I stayed home..." He looked over to the fire, ashamed. "But, her real birthday was that week, and I planned to spent the whole day with her. We were out all day ... and it was really ... very nice. It was one of my last memories of her happy...--" He said, getting choked up again, he bit his lip and took a deep breath to calm himself. "Just ... get through this, Hal..." He muttered to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. He let out a slight gasp, and opened his eyes, "Ah...! Hmm..." He took his glasses off of his collar and slid them on. "Thank you for bearing with me..."

"..." I nodded, smiling slightly with a gesture to continue.

He smiled back weakly, as he tucked his knees back under his chin. "Er... but..." He paused, trying to remember where he had left off, "After Emma's birthday ... only about 3 weeks later, in the middle of July..." Otacon paused, "It was -- er... My father had actually appeared to be getting better. I thought he might actually start talking to Julie again. But, in all actuality, he had just accepted the betrayal of his wife, and was to the point of deciding what was best to be done. As I said before ... my father was not a strong man..." He looked back to the fire sadly, lost momentarily in his own thoughts.

"Then one day everything came crashing down on us. On me, on Julie. The people that deserved it. And Emma, the one person that didn't." He sighed.

It was at that moment that I realized why my friend was acting so out of character. His guilt was driving him crazy. He was pent up more with guilt, than sorrow for his lost sister. That was why he acted so differently when Sniper Wolf had died. It hadn't been his fault. He had, in fact, tried to prevent it. It would be easier for him to live with his sister's death if it wasn't on his conscience. This is a person who gives me a tranquilizer gun on missions so I don't hurt anyone. If he ever really killed anyone he would probably die from guilt. This man is the quintessential Philanthropist. His sister's death, his father's death: they were weighing him down like a bag of rocks.

Not to imply that he wasn't mourning, but he'd done most of it back at the Big Shell. Tears only last for so long. If it's one thing that Otacon is good at, it's finding the best of any situation, and if there's no good in it, then move on. Unfortunately, guilt was not something Otacon handled well. I imagine he picked up the trait from his father. His father couldn't handle the guilt that went along with turning his wife away from him ... although a failing of Otacon's father also appeared to be jealousy, something Otacon has never had to deal with. Another example of how not everything is hereditary. Genes don't determine your future or your personality, in fact, it seems that good old fashioned human contact has more of a say in our personality than anything else.

"Snake...?" Otacon questioned. My whole thought process hadn't taken more than a few seconds, but the pause was peculiar enough to get Otacon's attention, "What's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. I'll tell you later. Go on." I answered.

"Uhm... Well. That day... Julie and I had thought that my father was at work. He usually left early in the morning, and Julie had moved into the guest bedroom ... and she never went in the master bedroom. We'd just assumed he'd left. Emma had gone over to the neighbor's house that morning --" Otacon stopped to explain, "We had a neighbor down the block with a little girl, they'd moved in at the beginning of the summer that year. The girl that lived there was about 16, but she was the only other kid in the neighborhood. Julie had encouraged her to go make friends.

"At any rate, we were supposed to have the house to ourselves, again." Otacon shuddered inspite of himself, "But ... my father had stayed home that day. He had been in the back yard and we never even knew... -- Ah..." Otacon struggled, "This is where I just need to swallow my fear and tell you...

"Julie and I were in my room that morning. Emma had come back because the girl wasn't home, we didn't hear her come in ... but she'd heard my father in the pool. She must have thought he was swimming because she'd put on her swim suit. ... But ... when she got out to the pool and saw my dad there -- drowning. She'd dived in to help him ... all the while screaming for me... But... I didn't hear her..." He stopped, looking away from me, there was a long pause before he continued, "Thankfully, the neighbors heard it ... and they called the police. We didn't know what had happened until the paramedics showed up. -- Julie had told them we had been asleep. It was still reasonably early, after all... But, when she found out my father hadn't made it ... she just ... collapsed.

"Some of the Paramedics stayed with her while I went to the hospital with Emma in the ambulance. Everyone was sure she would die, and I was about to downed in my own tears..."

There was a long silence.

"I stayed at the Hospital from then to early the next morning. A nurse at Emma's room told me that she would survive. I was also relieved that she lived. But ... I ... just ... -- I couldn't look at her, Snake. I knew I wouldn't be able to look her in the eye -- And Julie... I never wanted to see her again.--

"I did see her again. But I wouldn't talk to her. She would tell me that we could be together now that my father was gone, that something good could come out of the tragedy. I refused to listen. There was no more threat. She had lost her power..." He looked away, "I tried to stay around after the accident. But... I couldn't get myself to even look at Emma... I had no right to look at her. I'd betrayed her, and I'd ruined her life, the only logical step for me was to punish myself ... for her. She'd loved my father, and it crushed her completely when he died. I had lost the right of friendship that day... -- I tried to stay. I stayed home until the end of August. The last I saw of Emma was at my father's funeral. I saw her, but she didn't see me. I watched from the back and didn't say anything. The people that did see me there let it go. I was obviously too upset to say anything anyway..." He sighed, trailing off. "Everything was my fault... So... I packed up and left after the funeral. I had enrolled in Princeton to get my Master's degree, and I was going to be staying in the dorms, instead of continuing to live at home.

"Julie tried to call me a few times, but I never talked to her. Once Emma called though ... and I did talk to her. She asked me to come home and I told her I couldn't, she asked me why ... and it went back and forth like that for a while, over the phone ... finally I just told her I loved her and hung up..." He whimpered softly, "Once Julie realized I wasn't coming back she sold the house. -- I would too. -- It was haunted by the past..." He sighed, "They moved back to England, then. They certainly had enough money for a while ... what with all the money my father left them. He'd left me enough money to get through college. The rest went to Julie. And it was a lot of money.... -- Huh... Should have been for all the hours my father spent at work." Otacon sighed solemnly, "But ... as far as I know, once the money did run out Julie had no real way to support herself and Emma... I found out later, that after about 4 years living on their own Julie finally moved back in with her Mother ... after about a year of that Julie jumped up and left Emma with her Grandma."

"Hm?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Julie wrote to me a few times while I was at Princeton. That was how I found out about her severe case of Hydrophobia. I felt terrible because I'd taken away another thing that she loved .... Er... but, apparently, Julie would come back from time to time, or write a letter to Emma ... but generally, from that point on, Emma lived with only her grandmother until she went off to college. She went to Princeton too ... and went into the same field as me..." Otacon sighed, looking up, "But ... you know the rest..."


Chapter Seven

"So your life ends there, huh?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well... No." Otacon said hastily, fixing his glasses, "Actually ... maybe I should tell you about my life after I left home... Ah, it's a hell of a lot less depressing." He smiled slightly.

"All right." I nodded.

"Err... I was starting my freshman year in college now that the summer was over... I had finished my MIT courses in 3 years, and Princeton was more than happy to have me. -- Er, I stayed in the dorms at school. My dad left me enough money to be able to pay for it all. I didn't need to get a part time job or anything, though I did have alot of side projects... You would be very surprised to find out how many of the worlds greatest technological advances were made at Universities -- Or maybe you wouldn't." He chuckled slightly, "The first few months I was away from home I was pretty out of it..." He paused, self consciously, "But, I had made some friends at Princeton and they helped me through it, even though they didn't know the whole story. Not in the least. -- Er... It was that year that Axe and I found each other again..."

"Axe?" I questioned, puzzled.

"Oh! I didn't tell you. Angelena's nick name was 'Axe'!"

"'Axe Nightingale'??" I laughed, "Sounds like a Fox-Hound code name!"

Otacon chuckled too, "I never really thought of that! It does, doesn't it? -- Err ... she got the name from her participation at Renaissance Faires. She was exceptionally good with the throwing ax." He paused before going on, "When we found each other we became friends again immediately.

"I told her about my past ... well, I told her as much as I'd told anybody. But I didn't tell her about Emma's mother and me... In fact, Snake, you're the first person I've ever told this story to."

"..."

Otacon cleared his throat self consciously, "She was sympathetic and helped me a great deal. -- College was the start of a new era for me. It was really a fun time, all things considered. I suppose, my life then was as close to stereotypical college life as people like me and my friends could get." He chuckled, "We'd have 'anime parties' and go out to the movies and things, I even introduced them to OtaKon. They were responsible for giving me my nickname."

"Born to be wild, eh, Otacon?" I joked wryly.

Otacon chuckled, "Well, on my 21st birthday a friend of mine insisted we go to a drinking party."

I darn near choked in surprise, smirking slightly.

"I never did it again." Otacon said tersely.

"What? You're not going to tell me what happened?"

He laughed, "I would if I remembered any of it. Axe was supposed to tell me, but she didn't remember it either. Which is probably a good thing, because I have a vague recollection of telling her about my relationship with Emma's mother."

"Oh... I see." He was one of those. I chuckled.

"At any rate, school went incredibly well." He grinned at me, "I earned my reputation there for coming up with a program for that nasty Y2K digit changing problem... Unfortunately I didn't get any money for it, but I was hailed as 'the savior of the computer world.' Err..." He paused thoughtfully, "My future looked incredibly bright."

"Always the optimist." I smiled.

"Of course!" Otacon blinked. "And things were bright. I finished my senior year and moved into an apartment... I stayed for my Ph.D. after my other friends left, but Axe stayed around with me there to get her's. She was studying Zoology and Astrology. She was incredibly interested in animals... She was, to me, the ideal 'Good Person'."

I cocked an eyebrow. Oh. It made a little more since now why he had been so infatuated with Sniper Wolf. This love of animals that he saw in Axe was the same affection he saw in Sniper Wolf. It made me wonder for a moment what he thought of me in comparison to this 'Axe Nightingale.' I let it go, though, gesturing for him to continue.

"She was the ideal after which I based a lot of my character judgments in the future. She and Emma were similar in that respect. They were both incredibly good-natured and sweet ... but Emma was always my little sister, I could never look at her the way I looked at other girls."

"...Oh?" I asked, with a slight smirk that didn't escape his notice.

"Oh, there was nothing between Axe and me ... if that's what you're thinking." It was.

"I was so burned out by Julie, that I didn't want to invest myself in another relationship for a long time. It was nothing against women in general. I certainly wasn't bitter... I was just ... tired. --" He paused with a heavy sigh, "-- She did like me though. She just never said anything. I think she knew I was hurt... I don't think she knew why, but she did leave me alone in that regard, I mean, she never asked me out or anything. -- She had an almost psychic ability when it came to understanding people's problems."

"Hm..." I sighed, glancing over at the dwindling fire.

"Top of the locker." The parrot cooed, drifting back to sleep.

"Ah, hmm... After College, Axe and I went our separate ways. We E-mailed each other a few times, we even went to OtaKon together once, the summer after graduation, kind of like back in Jr. High.... But we slowly lost contact with each other ... no more than a birthday card once a year now. Well, actually now I don't really even have time for that..." He sighed, arching his eyebrows.

"Anyway, I got a great job almost immediately out of college." He smiled, "People with skills like mine were in high demand."

"I'll bet." I said, nodding. This man truly was a genius, he had every right to gloat.

"I had several projects with various companies over the years after I graduated Princeton."

"And you already had an extensive resume." I commented.

He blushed slightly, "Well, yeah... When I was 30 I signed on as Chief Engineer for ArmsTECH's Metal Gear Project. It attracted me because of it's uncanny similarity to the Mech. Warriors of my Animes. I worked on it in Alaska for 2 years... And that's when ... I met you."

I nodded. "And now I really do know the rest..." I smiled slightly.

"Yeah..." Otacon said, leaning back in the chair, thoughtfully.

The sun would be coming up in another hour.


to be continued....



NOTES:
Oh, friggin' A.... Looks like I botched up another one. Much to my deep regret I found out some very useful information about Otacon's past ... about 6 chapters after the fact!! I had to go through and change a lot of stuff... *siiigh* Oh well...


12-15-01 : Ahhh... almost done. I feel a lot better now that it's fixed up. Weeee.... I was going to say something important and/or profound ... but I forgot what it was.... So, uhm... Carry on. Maybe something about reading this out loud to myself ... or some snide comment about Snake... I really don't remember.

DUDE, I TOTALLY JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!!
Alright. #1, I had Emma turn 7
before the accident, I know... But I figured that her birthday had been so close to the accident, Otacon would say that she was 6 at the time without batting an eye.
Aaaand. #2 .... I think it's really ironic that the Internet created by DARPA is responsible for Otacon's education and his fame ... and yet, the DARPA related incident at Shadow Moses led to the loss of his job... Not to mention the program he created to save the Internet at Y2K was used as a Patriot tool. Cool, huh?