Part Two...



In the 35 years she had lived there were few occasions

that seemed to slow down for her, every sound drawn

out and sharper. Each movement more precise, each

detail clear in her mind. One of those occasions was

when there was a trauma, it was what made her so good

at her job. The others were times of extreme joy or

pain, sadness or loss.



The old shaman used to say that it was because she was

tapped into the world around her. She'd laughed not

believing him, at least she hadn't until she'd lost

Alex. Alex had been her heart and soul, the one pure

thing to come from such a horrible mistake.



"Ma'am..."



Kerry scanned the ER's hallway covered with police and

FBI agents. Her eyes came to rest on the handcuffed

woman sitting in a chair across from a small girl of

mixed heritage. The woman's head was bowed, long

black hair hanging over her face.



The woman lifted her head slowly, staring right at

her. Kerry wasn't sure what she expected to see in

her eyes. Regret, sadness, guilt?



She had been Kerry's other half, the one person she

could trust. Punching out Kerry's boyfriend in the

middle of the prom after catching him with another

woman. Staying up with her until 3 am eating bad

Chinese food and crashing for mid terms. Never

leaving her side the weeks she spent in the hospital,

supporting her through her marriage to Abasi, and her

pregnancy with Alex. Yet all that was in her dark

eyes was accusation, and blind rage.



An older police officer yanked her to her feet,

pushing her down the hall. Kerry let their eyes meet

momentarily; this woman was a stranger. No longer

allowed to call herself friend or sister. They had

both been through too much, had changed from the

once-careless teenagers.



She felt a strong hand come to rest possessively on

the small of her back. Glancing up she saw the tight

lines of barely suppressed anger etched across John's

face. She paused, turning to finally look at the

reason she was there.



A young woman was softly talking to the abnormally

small four-year-old. The girl was staring at the wall

with gray eyes in silence. Her small body was badly

bruised, her left arm in a cast. The woman was

probably a social worker, trying to explain everything

to the girl.



The piercing gray eyes turned to look at her as the

social worker pointed. "...mother..."



Kerry moved closer, unsure what to do or what she

could possibly say to the child. 'It's over, at least

for now... Just because I couldn't protect you four

years ago doesn't mean I won't be able to protect you

now... I've been looking for you for four years, but I

was unable to find you... She dug into her heart,

searching for guidance and only finding years of blame

and guilt.



"Dr. Weaver..."



Kerry tore her eyes away from her daughter as Agent

Henderson spoke softly. "Your ex is in SICU...he was

holding the receiver of a phone and my partner mistook

it for a gun..."



Kerry glanced over at his partner. The woman glanced

at Kerry, her eyes telling her everything she wanted

to know. I knew it was a phone. The judge, my

superior, my partner knew it was just a phone, but

they will never say otherwise... I'm sorry I missed...





"Your daughter's already been discharged; you can take

her home..."



Kerry had waited years to be told that, and now that

it had finally happened she felt one burden lift, only

to be replaced by another. She slowly walked toward

the small girl, not sure what to expect.



Alex struggled off the chair, unable to get off.

Kerry could see the exhaustion and pain of the last

few years in the small girls eyes. Reaching down, she

picked the girl up into her arms, and started to walk

away. John met her eyes, both of them having seen the

girl flinch in fear.



A young intern approached them stopping in their path.

"Ma'am, the surgeon just called; they don't expect

your husband to make it through the night..."



Kerry pushed past her, out into the snow-covered

night. "Good."



John opened the passenger door for her, silently

echoing her sentiments. If her ex survived, John

would personally rip him apart for doing this to

Kerry's daughter.



Kerry settled Alex in the back seat, noticing her

daughter cower when the car light blinked off. Kerry

climbed into the back with her, keeping her arm around

the girl. John shut the passenger door, walking

slowly around to the driver's side. He didn't want

Alex to see how angry he was; that was the last thing

she needed right now.



Getting in, he faced the facts. His feeling's for

Kerry was making his normally strong morals go into

overdrive, and it was wreaking havoc with his

emotions.







Kerry turned on the light to her closet, reaching for

the box of night lights. Pulling two out, she

accidentally knocked something to the floor. Sighing,

she bent over and picked up the Tigger doll. It had

been one of the few items she'd kept after Abasi had

kidnapped her daughter.



She had never been sure why she'd kept it. She only

knew that it gave her hope, some days it had been the

only thing that kept her going. Some days she'd put

it in her purse, keeping it close, a reminder of what

she lost. Christmas, she would curl up on the sofa

with it doing nothing.



Closing the door, she limped to the guest room,

pausing inside the door. John was talking animatedly

to the unresponsive girl. Seeing her, John hopped up

from the foot of the bed, taking the night lights.

Kerry smiled at his enthusiasm before turning her

attention back to Alex.



Kerry sat on the side of the bed, handing the doll to

her.



Alex reached out a hesitant hand, touching the soft

doll. She glanced up at Kerry with questioning eyes,

jerking her hand away abruptly.



"He's been waiting for you to come home." Kerry

pulled the heavy covers back, placing the doll into

Alex's arms.



Alex snuggled down into the pillows, hugging the doll

tightly to her as Kerry tucked her in.



"If you need anything, just let me know, okay?"



Alex didn't respond, distrust written across her face.





Sighing heavily, Kerry kissed her and walked to the

door. "Good night..." Kerry left the door cracked

open, and walked downstairs. Collapsing on the sofa,

she took the glass of wine that John offered her.



"How is she?"



Kerry glared at him, all the emotions of the day

hitting her hard. "Scared, in pain..."



"How on earth did you ever end up with someone like

that?"



Kerry refused to meet his eyes; that was one of the

few questions she hated.



"I was gullible and stupid."



John knew better than to push her. "We'll need to

take her shopping tomorrow..."



"We?"



John colored slightly under her amused gaze. "You'll

need help."



Kerry cocked an eyebrow, but didn't question him

further. She had always suspected that

John had a slight crush on her, and tonight had done

nothing to appease her suspicions...







Kerry finished pulling on her pajamas and limped out

of the bathroom. Stopping in the doorway, her eyes

scanned the room. Something was wrong, the door had

been closed when she'd gone in to shower, now it was

cracked open. Not to mention the small bulge under

her covers.



Only two things could cause that and one of them had

been asleep in front of the fireplace.

Walking over she pulled the covers down staring at the

cause. The four-year-old bundle peeked up at her with

huge puppy dog eyes.



Alex tried to jerk away as Kerry suddenly scooped her

up and laid her down on the left side of the bed,

tucking her in. Alex relaxed visibly, watching Kerry

turn the bathroom light on, leaving the door cracked.

Shutting the bedroom door, Kerry finally climbed in,

resigning herself to a long night.