Rafe again picked up the journal. Scanned the pages and began to read again.

Dear Lord- July 21-1932

Its my birthday. Though I wish it weren't. No matter how many years go by, I always feel weird about taking presents from the McCawleys. Like a burden. They shouldn't have to do this for me. I didn't do anything to deserve it, I'm not their kid, they are taking care of me and I am grateful for that. I don't want to drop out of school. One day, Rafe and I will go into the air force, he will be the best pilot they've ever seen, and I of course……will be #2, as always.

And I don't mean that in a spiteful way, Rafe deserves to be #1 after all he's had to cope with, his reading.

Rafe stopped.

"Danny, what do you mean I deserved it, YOU had to cope w/ so much more than I did, ever, and you were never a burden.

Thats why I'm glad to know a guy like him. He's always trying to protect me, and I don't want him to feel like he HAS to be my protector. I've survived this long. Rafe is so confident……about everything. Whether its girls or family or himself, I think he's one of those people who could do anything, anything they want to do. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I'm just in envy of my best friend. I don't know, I mean I like who I am I guess. I gotta go. We're supposed to have cake.

Thanks

Danny

Rafe skipped read and read, going through years and memories. Reading faster than he ever had before, and easier.

Dear Lord- August 23-1941

Rafe is dead. Oh! God what will I do, I have to go tell…… I have to go tell Evelyn, I have to go for Rafe. He would of wanted me to, in fact I know he did, he told me. I always thought if Rafe weren't here then I would be #1, and now he's dead. Oh God I didn't mean it. Please give me my friend back, my brother. Please, I'm so sorry.

Later-

I've calmed down a bit. I'm sorry I burst out like that. You may be the only One who understands, You are the Only one. I went and talked to Evelyn, she took it suprisingly well, better than I did, I think, but I've always been one to grieve in silence.

Yeah you were Danny, you never let anyone see your pain. Even when you were dyin' in my arms you were still crackin' jokes like it was nothin'. Oh Danny.