Dear Lord- November 12-1941

I ran into Evelyn at the theater today. It was……interesting to say the least, but refreshing. It reminded me that Rafe is dead but I am alive. I thought I could never survive without Rafe, maybe I can….. thats what I have to find out now. Maybe this is a test. To make me a stronger person, it was strange, I saw her outside the theater and before I could restrain myself I had already called her name. It too was strange, I haven't really had much contact w/ other people since……well, I'd been logging in a lot of flight hours. I feel closer to Rafe when I'm up there. It was so hard after he died, I knew everyone pitied me, they still do. I wish they wouldn't, I've been fighting that since we were kids….since I was a kid. I also have to get used to being just one. I even considered suicide, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to actually do it, besides I've survived this long. And I owe it to Rafe too……………………Anyway, um…Evelyn and I went for some coffee, to talk…catch up on some things, and of course…talk about Rafe. I can tell she misses him. It was nice, talking to someone again and I know Rafe would have liked that we were getting on with our lives. Some of the gang passed by later. And I don't know if I should have but I had to see her again, I didn't want it to end. Well, she left her hankerchief and I had to return it to her, and I thought maybe….. well, maybe she'd wanna see me again too. Oh I was such an idiot, she was already in bed and ohhhhh… I'd better get to bed, I've tortured myself enough for one night. Please let thing turn out alright.

G' Night

Danny

Dear Lord- November 30-1941

A few weeks ago Evelyn dropped by the hanger and…well I still don't know exactly what happened, but one thing led to another and…I took her flying…It was so beautiful, she was so beautiful. I've never felt like this before. Next thing I knew we were in the hanger and……God I know it was a sin but… but I wouldn't take it back for the world. I'd never. My head is in such a rush. I've never felt this way before! Since then we haven't been apart. But sometimes I wonder…no…well, sometimes I wonder if she really loves me or its Rafe she's thinking of. But that's crazy, that's what I tell myself anyway. I've just never been in love before, but I do feel like there's something she's not telling me. And I also feel guilty, Rafe was and is my best friend, he loved Evelyn, but how can I ignore how I feel? I think I think to much.

Danny

Dear Lord- December 6-1941

Oh God, Rafe is alive, I knew it, secretly I always knew it. What am I gonna do, Evelyn……Oh Lord what am I gonna do. I gotta get to Evelyn. Gotta let her know!

Later-

I was too late. Rafe had already gotten to her, I have never seen such hate in his eyes. The only other man I'd seen with that hate was…and though it pains me to say so, he looked like my father. The same cold bitter hatred, aimed at me. I caught up w/ him at a local bar the guys like to hang at…… I knew he'd be drinking, bragging about his experience. Cocky as hell, and drunk on top of it. However it happened we ended up in a brawl, I will admit it hurt, but only because it was from my best friend. The police showed up and we hopped in my car and sped away, I was actually kinda glad to get to talk to Rafe alone, so he had no one to show off for. He doesn't think things could ever be the same. I swear I never would have gotten involved w/ Evelyn if I'd of know…I mean that, he's my best friend, he thinks I did it on purpose. I would never do that to him, if I could take it back I ……I would, I really think I would, for him. He deserves the best. Evelyn is the best, they should be together, besides I don't think she really loved me anyway, I was just…a stand in, like always. Forgive me if it's selfish but…why not me. Just once.

Danny

Dear Lord- April 1942

I'm not sure on the date anymore, we've been training non stop for some "Secret Mission" Which I don't know if any of us will live through, we don't even know where we're going yet. Rafe and I are on better terms now, talking at least. I don't know if he will ever trust me again, but he seems to be hiding something. There seem to be secrets everywhere and their all from me. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Danny

Dear Lord- April 1942

We are going to Tokyo, Japan. We are going to bomb them! I pray that Rafe makes it home alright. I can tell, and am willing to admit it now,

Evelyn never really loved me. (Sad) But….. that's okay, I guess. I hope they have a.. great life, together. And I will try my hardest to support, them. I could never hold Evelyn to what we had, I just…wouldn't feel right.

Boy do I hate myself for being so…… me.

I think I'll write Rafe a letter tonight.

Danny