Chapter Five
NOT THIS AGAIN.


"Oh my Gawd!!!" yelled Morrigan, starring in horror at the spot where No Onion and the green
swirling energy had been mere seconds before. "What happened? Where's Brian!?!"

Everyone was starring in wide eyed wonder. Morrigan was on the brink of hysteria, as was the
manager, but for a diffrent reason.

"Shit. I guess we'd better close down. We don't know what happened, and we don't know if it'll
happen again. The district manager is gonna have my ass..."

* * *

"So, how is he?" asked Opera to Leon, who had just come out from the room they had placed No
Onion in.

"Why? You LOOOOOVE him or somthing?"

Opera sighed. "Don't make me beat you, you seventeen year old little punk. He's the only link we
have to whatever the hell happened to me. Now, I normally wouldn't care about it so much, but,
well, since he's here, there must be SOMTHING going on, and it CAN'T be natural!"

"I suppose you're right about that. Well, he should be fine. He's still healing up, since that
healing spell I cast wasn't too powerful."

"Speaking of which, where did you learn a healing spell? I thought that there wasn't anything like
that in Expellian hereldry science?"

"I...errr...borrowed...a book from Dr. Mirage's house, when we were on Nede. It took me two years
to translate the spell into the same type of magic we use, and I don't think I got it quite right,
because no matter how often I use it, it doesn't seem to be very powerful."

"Wait, you stole a book from Dr. Mirage? I can't belive you did that!"

"Yeah, and now the planet's destroyed. What are you going to do?"

Just then, the door behind Leon swung open, and No Onion stumbled out, still looking slightly beat
up, but looking a lot better than when he stumbled into town. Leon ran up to him, to make sure he
wasn't doing anything stupid by standing up.

"Back off, cat-boy. The only person I want doteing over me is that three eyed beuty over there."

All three of Opera's eyes narrowed in a very dirty look. She looked from No Onion to Leon, and said
"Leon, please tell me he's well enough to beat."

No Onion shot off a surprised look. "Geez, gorgeous. With an attitude like that, it's no WONDER you
don't recognize a pick up line. You prolly never get any."

Leon intelligently dove out of the way of Opera's flying hand. No Onion, however, had no such luck
and was catapulted into the air, and landed flat on his back.

"LISTEN YOU! THE ONLY REASON I DON'T BEAT YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE IS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY
LINK TO WHATEVER THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME BACK IN THE SOL SYSTEM! SO CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY!!!"
With that, Opera stormed out of the house.

Leon crawled over to where the half unconcious No Onion. No Onion managed to sit himself up against
a wall, and began to rub his now red and very sore face.

"Ugh. Maybe I was better off with those people who were trying to kill me."

"Keep that up," said Leon, "and she'll be joining their ranks. So, what's your name?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. In all the hub-bub of almost being killed, I musta forgotten the introductions.
I'm No Onion. You are?"

"I'm Leon. The three-eyed barbarian is Opera. I don't know if you remember them, but the hyper
burnette is Precis, and the red head is Chisato. You're on a planet called Expel. We're currently
trying to figure out why you're here, and how you got here."

"Oh, how I got here? That's simple. You just hop into some green energy. Fun for the whole family!"

Leon gave No Onion a funny look. He felt that this No Onion fellow was acting way to happy for
someone who almost died, and he said so.

"Oh, well," was No Onion's response,"I figger, when it's my time to die, I'll die. Untill then,
I'll just have some fun. In fact, I've discovered something REALLY interesting since I got here.
Watch." With that, No Onion snapped his fingers, and two bikini clad, very shapely women ran from
no where, and helped him to his feet.

"H..how did you do that? And....can you teach me?"

* * *

"I can not BELIVE that man! Insulting me like that! Although, I DO admire his raw amount of nerve.
BUT STILL!!!"

Opera was so busy with her own inner rantings, that she didn't notice as she passed by Chisato and
Precis.

"Where you going, Miss Stormcloud?" asked Precis.

"Anywhere that that.....ASSHOLE isn't!"

"Asshole or not," said Precis, "He's STILL cute."

Opera shot Precis a look that would have frozen hell.

"Wow," said Chisato. "You've been giving a lot of those looks, Op. You're WAY too tense."

Opera gave Chisato the same look, and then asked "So, where have you two been? Did you find anything
useful?"

"The library," answered Chisato, "And, no. Although, the more I think about it, the more I think
that it may have been a convergence of space/time. You see, from what you described, it sounded
like you ended up going to an undeveloped Earth, almost like it was an Earth of an earlier time.
The only way that would happen is if you jumped into a space/time rift. And, of course, the only
way a space/time rift would happen is if there were a concentrated convergence of two space/time
continums."

Opera gave Chisato the most confused look that had ever crossed her face. "Chisa, how the HELL do you go
from not realizing that a bunch of electricity can fry ship circitry two days ago, to becoming a
space/time expert now?"

"Questions that aren't important to the plot shouldn't be asked. Now, we need to find a way to get
back there, and test the energy surrounding the Sol system, and see if there really IS a convergence
of space/time, because if there is, it really COULD be trouble. But, where can we get an energy
tester on such short notice, and without a completely working ship?"

"What about your connections?" asked Opera, "Maybe a world you gave a good review for, or something?"

"There's not any that we can get to until your ship is completely working. The closest place I know
of that we can get an energy tester is about one hundred light years past the sol system. Thats a
good three weeks trip, even with a good working ship."

"I've got one," said Precis, who had been uncharactoristically quiet.

"How do you know it's an energy reader, miss 'I can put two parts together because they look the
same'?"

Precis shot Opera a rather dirty look, and said "It was labeld 'energy tester'. I found it on that
ship that crashed."

"Gee, what a convienent little plot device," said Chisato. "Anyways, Op, if we install that onto
your ship..."

"Then we can head back to the Sol system, and test the energy! Come on, Precis. I'll do anything
to get away from that blue haired freak."

"Leon isn't so bad," said Precis.

With that, the two mechanists ran to Precis' house.

"Gee, and not even a thank you," said Chisato, who was left standing there in the middle of Linga.
* * *

Three hours later, Chisato was still walking through town, out of simple boredom. Opera and Precis
were working on Opera's ship, Leon and No Onion were inside Precis' house, talking about who knew
what, leaving Chisato all by herself to be bored. She decided to write a bit about this planet
for the Travller's Guide. As she sat at a bench by the inn, and pulled out her electronic notepad,
three uniformed men walked into town.

They were dressed in brown, standard military uniforms, complete with swords at their side. Chisato
recognized the swords as an Alarian make. The Alarians were generally recognized as some of the
best blacksmiths in the galaxy. They couldn't throw a decent party, however, which means that no
one, other than another Alarian, should EVER go to one of their partys.

The one who appeared to be the leader looked around as though he was looking for someone in particular.
He stared straight at Chisato, said some things to his partners in a language that wasn't recognizable
to her, and then pointed.

"You, red," he began, "we are looking for someone. He has blue hair, and he carries a spatula and
a gun like machine. Have you seen him?"

Chisato sighed and put her notepad away. Just when she was beginning to get excited about a project, too.
"Maybe. Why you looking for him?"

"He...merely stole something of minor value from our village. Have you seen him, or not?"

"I told you, maybe. What village are you from?" Chisato knew very well that these people weren't
from Expel, but she relished slightly in giving them a hard time.

"Er...one rather far away. I doubt you'd have heard of it. Have you seen the man we are looking for?"

"Try me," said Chisato with a slight smirk, "I've been all over this world."

The man, whom Chisato had now labeled in her mind as the general, drew his sword.

"If you don't tell me what you know, wench, I will be forced to kill you!"

Chisato rolled her eyes, and assumed a low offensive stance. "I'd really like to see you try."

The General charged, and attempted a downward swing. Chisato spun out of the way, and with the added
force of her spin, swung a hard kick to the back of her opponent's head. The General flew face
first into the dirt road.

"Anyone else?" asked Chisato with a smile on her face. The two others, whom Chisato had labled
Flunky A and Flunky B, drew their swords, and charged at her. Chisato jumped into the air, kicked
them both in the back of the head, flipped, and landed on her feet. As she did, she pulled a small
object out of her pouch, which grew into her flamethrower. She pointed it at the men.

"Look, I know you're not from Expel. You're energy's wrong."

"Our energy?" asked the General.

"Oh, I'm a martial artist. I can do weird things like shoot energy blasts and sense other people's
energy. And, if I focused enough, I could fly! But, thats besides the point. Now, why are you here?"

"I already told you," said the general, "We're looking for that man! And, due to your idiotic
babbling, I have already called some re-inforcements."

Chisato looked around, just in time to see seven more people suddenly appear out of thin air.

* * *

"NO, YOU IMBICLE!! THE RED WIRE DOES NOT CONNECT THERE!!"

"BUT THAT'S HOW IT WAS CONNECTED IN THE OTHER SHIP!!!"

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE OTHER SHIP!?!"

"Well, no, BUT STILL!!!"

"Look, you ditz! If the way it's connected is this way..." Opera began to attempt to connect the
energy tester to her control board, She took the red wire, attached it to the place where she belived
that it should be connected, and it began to spark, and smoke. She quickly disconnected it.

"Told you so!" said Precis.

* * *

"So, you actually stuck in with Opera in a drinking contest?!" asked Leon, surprised as he had
ever been.

"Yeah. We had each had about a bottle of tequila, which is a drink thats about half alcohol. Anyways,
we both got up, and dropped right there. I COULDA drunk more, of course.."

Suddenly, Leon's cat like ears began to twich.

"What's the matter, cat-boy?"

"First, my name is Leon. Second, it sounds like there's a fight outside."

Leon grabbed his book, and ran outside. No Onion grabbed his HAYCO bar-b-que spatula, and followed.
They ran close to where Leon had heard the fight, and saw Chisato locked in a vicious battle. Four
men lay on the ground, two looking as though they had been hit by fire, all of them motionless. The
broken peices of a blue gun lay on the ground near the scuffle. Chisato was doing as good as she could
weaponless, but it was obvious she was tiring. It became even more obvious when she took a hit
from a sword right across her back. As she fell, the three who remaind standing closed in.

"Onion! See if you can hold them off! I'm gonna prepare a spell!"

No Onion shrugged, and ran into the fray. He had never thought of himself as a fighter, but he
HAD taken about two months worth of fencing, in order to attempt to get a date with the instructor.
He had also become an amature pro wreslter for about a month on a dare. He hoped that it would
be enough.

He grabbed one from behind, and pefromed a falling neck breaker, effectivly killing the man.
He hopped back up, to see the other two swinging their swords.

No Onion began a defensive retreat, using his spatula as a sword. It surprised the hell out of him
that his spatula didn't break, but he didn't have time to think about that right now. He saw an
opening, and kicked one hard in the gut. He bent over, the pain even worse because of the steel
toed boots that covered No Onion's feet.

The other one, who was still upright, swung his sword hard, and knocked the spatula from No Onion's
hand. No Onion attempted to hop back as the sword swung back across his chest, but he still took
a rather nasty cut. He stumbled back, clutching his chest in a vain attempt to stop the blood
from flowing.

Both his opponents, for the one he had kicked had gotten his bearings straight and picked up his
sword once more, slowly closed in on him. For some unknown reason, No Onion began to babble.

"Hey, guys, you can't kill me yet! I bet you've never even had a Sonic burger! Have you? Oh, they
are THE greatest things!! They taste SOOO good, and.."

Suddenly, and this surprised No Onion even more than the spatula not breaking, a hamburger
appeared in his hand. Not knowing what else to do, he threw it at the two men. It exploded, and
they stumbled back, holding their faces in pain.

No Onion looked up, as he heard an odd sound. A huge black hole began to open up in the sky, and
a huge monster jumped out.

"HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT IS THAT THING!?!?!" yelled No Onion, jumping to the ground.

"GREMLIN'S LAIR!!!" shouted Leon, as the huge gremlin began to eat the the living opponents. It then
returned back into the black hole, and the hole closed up. Leon ran to Chisato, and quickly cast the
healing spell. Chisato's wound scabbed over, as Leon ran to No Onion and did the same thing.

Opera ran up behind Leon right then. "Leon, what the hell was happening? Who were those guys? We
came into town just in time to see this idiot throw a bomb at them. Who were they?"

"I dunno! Onion and I ran out here to see them fighting Chisato."

"They were after me," said No Onion, prompting the cuirious looks of Opera and Leon. "They were
dressed just like the guys who tried to kill me earlier, so I'm assuming they were after me. That's
why I helped out. I couldn't let any one die because of me. It wouldn't have been right, especially
after you all have done so much for me."

"That's....actually pretty admirable of you," said Opera. "What did you say your name was again?"

"You can call me Brian, gorgeous." said No Onion with a smile.

"Ok, ok, enough flirting!" exclaimed Precis, who was at that moment half tossing Chisato into
Opera's arms, "Do you know why they wanna kill you?"

"No idea, honeychick. Wish I knew."

"Well," continued Precis, sliding up close to where No Onion was sitting, "That was still really
brave of you to try to fight them off like that."

"Ummm...thanks..." said No Onion, slightly put off.

"Brave of HIM?" asked Chisato in a tone of unbelife, "I'M the one who fought them off when there
were TEN of them! HELLO!?!"

Precis shot Chisato a dirty look, and then turned back to No Onion. "Here, let me help you up. And
I wanna look at your little gun thingy, too."

Precis helped No Onion to his feet, and then practically dragged him to her house, leaving everyone
else shaking their heads.

* * *

"Is the barrier in place?"

"Yes sir. No one can get within twenty light years of the Sol system. And, no ships can get out,
either."

"Good. And, what about the Earthling? Has he been taken care of?"

"The last report we recieved stated that they were closing in on his most possible position."

"Good."

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's note: Ok, in case you didn't realize it, I was pokeing fun at Dragon Ball Z with Chisato's
comment. Don't get me wrong, I like the show, it's fun to watch. But, I found an opening, and
took it. Also, the mysterious evil guys made a comment in chapter two that the little whatever
the hell it was was fifty light year circumfrence, and that anyone who passed near it was sent
to the other dimension. Well, I was tired when I wrote that. Let's pretend that it was fifty KILOMETERS,
(yes, I am aware of how short a distance that is in space) and let's say that the mysterious leader
guy was all unhappy about it, and told them to start erecting a barrier, because he didn't want
anyone able to interfere with his plan. Ok? Thanks, I knew you'd understand.