A/N: Thanks very much to Misters Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel for the title of this chapter. You should all watch the Graduate. Great Film. I have not been brainwashed by listening to too much Simon and Garfunkel. I swear.

HEADS UP! Long chapter ahead!

The Sound Of Silence



Nothing would bring us to talk for the next weeks. We sat apart at meals and we both went to extraordinary lengths to avoid one another. Severus had befriended Lucius Malfoy and his cronies, while I took to the Marauders. The only times we did see or speak to each other were in the hospital wing. Lily was taking a lot longer to recover than Madam Pomfrey had first thought. Dumbledore had excused us both from any formal school meals or assemblies, but after two we decided to sit with her in shifts. All we would do in the hospital wing was dwell on "what if"s and "If only"s. Lily finally regained consciousness four days after Christmas, and as it so happened I was with her.

Her words were groggy and slurred at first, but still, we had expected nothing better. She had been through nothing like we would ever know, and would have to carry a bigger burden than most adults could bear.

"Ren, tell me what happened, I need to know."

"How far back can you remember?"

"Umm..." She took a few minutes to think about it, but eventually, she did recall something. "The Ball. Definitely the Ball. I had a stomach ache, and we had to leave, but that's all."

I sighed and smiled at her as sympathetically as I could, just to keep myself from crying. This would be the second person in a week that was going to have their world brought crashing down around their ears by me. Remus had try to tell me otherwise, but I wouldn't listen. I fully expect that Lucius would be trying to convince Severus not to care himself, but he would. He may not have thought I was worth the air I breathed, but he still cared about Lily.

"Well, uh, Lil, this isn't going to be easy. Y-you...you had a miscarriage."

Her eyes dropped from my gaze, and she looked down at the foot of the bed. I paused, to let it sink in. There was no point in rushing this, or it would all have to be said again.

She sighed, and looked up at me again, a tear welling in her eye.

"I thought perhaps that was it, you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'd been in a bit of pain all Christmas day, and part of the night. I thought that might be it." She smiled weakly, small tears falling from her grassy eyes.

I just sat there dumbstruck.

"Lily, Why? Why didn't you say something? We could have saved it!"

"I thought that it was the easiest way out for all of us. Severus has a great career ahead of him in Potions; he doesn't want some bawling baby to look after! And, perhaps he wouldn't have had to know."

With every word she broke down a little more. She hadn't known really, just perhaps had a feeling that she'd lose it. I just buried my head in my hands. Why the hell hadn't she said something though? She didn't want that baby to die, no way.

"Lily, I...what do you mean? Of course he had to know!"

"Perhaps, I...oh, God Ren, I didn't know! I thought that it was indigestion, but when it kept on, I thought it might be something to do with the baby, b-but I didn't know what to do! I made a deal with myself that...well, that if it didn't go away after the ball, I'd tell Pomfrey. I didn't think that it would happen so fast."

Confusion. Pure confusion for both of us. I was trying to work out why she hadn't said something earlier, and I think she may have been thinking along the same lines. There was a long silence, and then I guess curiosity got the better of her.

"So, who exactly knows?"

"Well, Severus, Ed...and Madam Pomfrey, obviously. Umm, Dumbledore, me and your parents. Oh, and Professor Sambora."

"So everyone and his brother?"

"No." I sighed. This had to be broken to her somehow. "Look, Lily. They all had to know, and some of them haven't reacted well. Madam Pomfrey was shocked, but she's fine about it now, ditto Professor Sambora, an..."

"Why the hell did he have to know?"

"It's a requirement. He's our head of house. It's him that has to make our excuses. He sent the card." I nodded to a sympathy card with some Tiger Lilies on the front, her favourite flower. Professor Sambora always said he didn't really see the point because they just sat there and grew, but there we go!

"Oh, I suppose. Carry on."

"Dumbledore was a little ticked off that you hadn't told anyone, but I doubt he'll tell you off for it. Madam Pomfrey had a word with him."

"What did she say?"

"I'm not sure, but I did catch the phrase 'female mentality' in there somewhere, so I reckon you're safe."

She nodded, and then looked nervously away from me.

"A-And, how about Ed?"

"Uh, well, he was shocked, but I went and upset him then. He'll get over it."

"What did you do?"

So I had to go through all the changed-name scenario and had to explain myself all over again. Lily took it quite well, though, considering that the others were refusing to talk to me, and that the person who had the most right to hate me for it was she.

"So why didn't you tell us? Didn't you trust us?"

"How can you say that, Lil? I trust you and Severus more than anyone in the world, but I swore to my father and to Dumbledore that I would only tell the story to people I knew would never betray me, and even then it must be told the other way around. I'm sorry, I just couldn't..."

"I know. So, how did, umm...how did he take it?"

"He nearly passed out. I told him as soon as I got you up here, you were in a bad way." I smiled at her, and picked up her hand "You know, we thought we'd lost you for a while, too... I'd probably go and find him, tell him you're awake."

She suddenly looked desperate and pleading again, like when she had begged me not to tell him.

"Do you have to? I mean, It'll wait, won't it?"

"Lily, he'll be here in half an hour anyway. We've been taking shifts to sit with you. Wouldn't you rather get it over with? Before you have to see Dumbledore and your parents?"

"Yeah, I suppose...hey, when will my parents be arriving?"

"They were due boxing day, but its been snowing practically non stop since Christmas day. They can't get here yet, but Dumbledore says if they aren't here by tomorrow, he'll use magic to get them here."

I got up, and as I went to leave and let go of her hand, her grip tightened.

"Thank you, Ren"

I smiled, and walked slowly out of the room. Now, where to find him?