Buffy woke the next morning to the sound of her alarm. She rolled over and got out of bed, still dressed in the outfit from the previous night...she didn't even remember getting home. The sheets had bloodstains on them from the wounds on her arm and thigh, which were healing, but still painful.

She went to the mirror. There were obvious bags under her eyes, telling of her restless night and tear stains were tracked through smudges of dirt on her face. She looked a mess. She made her way to the bathroom and ran the shower.

Under the stream of hot water she relaxed, watching as the water changed from brown, to red, to clear, as it washed away the dirt and blood. *If only it could wash away my other problems* she thought, trying to determine how to get back on good terms with the Scooby gang. She got out of the shower and retrieved some antiseptic cream from the medicine cabinet, which she then applied to her wounds. *Well, I have to tell Giles about this demon guy from last night, so I may as well start with him* she resolved, as she emerged from the bathroom to finish getting ready before heading off to face the school day.

********************

Buffy entered the library, determined to set things right with everyone, and apply herself to researching these new creatures. On her arrival, however, she found her friends already deep in conversation.

Willow was the first to notice her, a guilty expression on her face. "...uh...Buffy...hi..."

"What's going on?" Buffy asked a little angrily.

"Nothing...right guys?" Willow stammered, looking to the others for support.

"Nothing, huh?" Buffy said looking from Willow, Oz and Xander to the pile of the books on the desk.

Anya chose this exact moment to come out of the stacks. "Hey guys, I think I fou...oh, hey Buffy."

"What the hell is going on her? Since when is she in the group?" Buffy yelled.

"It's not what it looks like..." Willow started.

"Really? 'Cause it looks like you guys are having a research party and I wasn't invited" she said, a little hurt.

"Well then, I guess it is what it looks like!" Xander snapped.

Buffy looked at him, shocked at his outburst. "Xander, I was just..."

"You know what, Buff? Save it...at the moment I don't care."

"huh?"

"The way I see it, you have one set of standards for yourself, and one for everyone else".

"What the hell are you talking about? I do not!"

"Oh, no? You really don't see it do you..."

"See what?"

"Let me spell it out for you...A N G E L...Angel. Why is it ok for us to help him, but not to help Anya? Is it because the person has to mean something to YOU?"

"That is soooo not the same thing and you know it?"

"Really? Well how is Anya different to Angel in humanity stakes? The way I see it, she's more human than Angel ever was!"

"Don't even go there Xander".

"Why? ...'cause you can't bear for people to spell out the truth? Well, you know what...I'm sick of treading on thin ice when it comes to you and Angel..."

"Xander...I'm warning you".

"Warning me, huh? Gonna try some more violence?"

Buffy took a step back to stop herself from lashing out. "This is not even about Angel...this is about Anya, and the fact that she is bringing trouble down on us...not to mention the fact that she willingly wants to become a demon again. Angel's changes, on the other hand, were a product of circumstance..."

"Oh, you're SOOOO right...All I can say is thank god Anya doesn't lose her soul in the same 'circumstance' as Angel" Xander countered.

Buffy faltered, momentarily surprised by this, before this feeling was replaced by an overwhelming anger.

"You...you...slept wither her?! I can't believe you...you slept with a demon!!!!"

"Why not? You did!!!"

Buffy could no longer keep her anger in check. She launched a right hook at Xander, connecting with his jaw and sending him sprawling to the ground.

"Buffy..." Anya started, "Xander..."

"No...I've had enough...to think I came here to apologize...well screw that!!!" she yelled before storming out of the library.

Willow put out her hand to Xander to help him up before slapping him in the back of the head.

"Ow!" Xander exclaimed, clutching his jaw, "hurt here!"

"Yeah, well maybe you deserve it...What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"She was pissing me off"

"So what!?! You thought you'd do the same to her?" Willow asked angrily.

"Yes?!?" Xander responded, sheepishly.

"Well, Bravo Xander, it worked." Willow said, then threw her hands up in exasperation. "What the hell has gotten into you two...you're behaving like a couple of 5-year-olds..yes...that's it...5-year-olds...very stupid, very immature 5-year-olds"

"uh, Wills, 5-year-olds are meant to be immature"

Willow glared at him. "Don't push it!"

********************

Buffy hadn't gone far. When she got out of the library, she ran to the bathroom where she sat on the floor of one of the stalls, tears rolling down her cheeks. *Why?* she asked herself. *Why couldn't I just let it go...join in...not ask questions.*

She couldn't believe that the situation had done a total 180 from what she'd intended.

She was still crying, lamenting the fact that Xander had slept with Anya, when the door to the bathroom opened and she heard Willow calling her name. The cubicle door opened shortly after, and Willow sat down next to her. They sat in silence for some time before Willow finally spoke:

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really"

"You know you're going to have to sort this out - both of you - we can't function as a group if you continue this way".

Buffy nodded, then suddenly started letting it all out.

"It's just gone so wrong. I mean, I went in there to apologize and things just went downhill so fast". She turned to Willow in urgency, "Really Will, I just wanted to apologize...why can't I keep my big mouth shut?"

"I don't think you can take all the blame here. What Xander said was..."

"...right"

"Huh?" Willow responded, not sure she'd heard right.

"I think, I mean...it still hurt...but, I think part of what he said was right."

"So why the hell did you hit him then?" Willow screeched.

"Well I didn't realize it then!" Buffy responded, "Besides, he was pissing me off!"

"5-year-olds..." Willow muttered.

"huh?" Buffy responded confused.

"not important...so...what now?"

Buffy looked Willow in the eyes and started crying again. "Now...now it's too late and Xander will never forgive me". She sobbed into Willow's shoulder as her best friend pulled her into a hug.