A/N: Some of you know I am a big Bon Jovi fan, and there is a hidden link
in here to one of their songs. Anyone who can tell me the song and link
will get a preview of a future chapter!
I would just like to point something out, that in retrospect, I should have said last chapter. Rene's regal and formal tones changed last chapter, and her father did not come across as the imposing and intimidating man he is, but I was demonstrating how they change towards one another, because they are the two most trusting people in the story. I hope this will be clearer as we encounter (if you'll pardon the pun!) Pyietek Bolovnik later on.
Thank you to all my reviewers and readers from Slytherin Common Room. I salute you!
I think I had better do another disclaimer, just to be on the safe side. Little is mine. Severus, Lily, Hogwarts, the mirror, etc. all belong to JK Rowling, who I hope is busily writing HP & TOOTP. Edward Camerson is a creation of a friend of mine, Robert Camerson, who I hope is resting so he can get rid of his cold. The silver tears idea belongs to Elizabeth Stackhouse, nee Dakins, and Rene belongs to me, but that's it. I wish I did own the others, mind, they're great!
The Mirror and the Memory
I walked down a winding spiral staircase to the dungeons. The walls seemed darker and danker than they had ever been before, and the air was biting cold. My breath glided out in front of me, forming ornate silver clouds. I walked down the passage, looking through the doors of empty rooms as I did. The silence that enveloped the bitter stone of the floor, walls and ceiling, and deafened me as it bounced off them, louder than a thundercrack. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.
I looked up, and for the first time since I had left the common room, I paid attention to where I was going, and realised I had no idea where I was. i assumed I was still in the dungeons, but I had never known the passage to go this far. I decided to carry on, but I came to a dead end within minutes, apart from a large, mahogany door with wrought iron fixings. I saw no signs or notices to tell me I was not to be here or that I should turn back, so I tried the handle. if it was locked, it was locked, and I go back upstairs, but if it wasn't...
The lock clicked the moment my hand met the metal, and the door pushed itself open. The room was dark, except for two torches on the walls, which glowed with blue flames. I stepped in cautiously, and I thought for a moment that someone else was in the room. On closer inspection, I found it was a mirror. It had ornate patterning in gold around its frame, and I have not yet to this day forgotten the inscription.
"Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi"
I suspected some sort of trick at first; a joke set up by Malfoy and company to mock me. Vampires have no reflection, as they have no souls. The little bit of mortality gave me a faint hologram, but I looked no more than a ghost. I looked into the mirror, and to my amazement, I was whole. Not an impression of a form, an actual form itself. What amazed me more than this, and made me turn on my heels with speed, but I saw nothing, was the last glimpse of happiness I was going to have in a long time.
The mirror showed myself and Lily and Severus, and Ed hovering in the background. We all seemed to be enjoying ourselves in Hogsmead, like we used to. We were laughing and joking, and Ed was floating dangerously close to an unsuspecting Professor Sambora with what looked like a Fillibuster's Wet start Firework. I looked around again, but the room was bare, except for the flickering torches on the opposing walls.
It hypnotised me. I just stared at it for hours that seemed like minutes, just thinking about all that had happened, and all that was going to happen. There comes a point when you become too upset to cry, though you wish you could with all your heart. I stared into the jovial faces of people I didn't know anymore, wishing I could be in another time and place, with someone else's soul and someone else's face.
Then, as I glanced again at the memory in the mirror, it changed. I saw myself sitting on the floor of the room, and I was again my usual wisp of reality. I was just about to go and look more closely at the mirror, to see where it had disappeared to, when the big mahogany door opened behind me, and thinking it was another illusion, I just watched, to see what would happen. Ed's face peered around the door, and looked around the darkened room. Again, the mirror was showing me what I wanted more than anything, but I felt more than anything it was taunting me. Showing me things I would never have.
"Rene?"
I turned quickly, and it seemed that I had not seen another illusion. Ed was there, and he came over to me and sat down. I just stared at him, with nothing but silent prayers that he had not come to have another go at me. He reciprocated, and at the same time, we spoke; eyes fixed on the floor.
"I'm so sorry, I..." We looked up and smiled. He put his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Never Have I been so grateful for a friend offering support. I swear that if he had not come to find me, I would have stayed in front of that mirror for the rest of my life, pondering maybes and what ifs. He stroked my hair gently to calm me down, and it worked. I knew that I could trust Ed with my life, and that he really was one in a million.
We walked back upstairs sometime later, his arm around my shoulder, heading for the common room. As we entered, I remembered what Lily had asked me to do. I thought it was best to tell Ed as well, and just as I was about to speak, he began for me.
"What were you doing down there, anyway?" He said, but only with mild curiosity, not suspicion.
"I was looking for Sev. Lily needs me to tell him something; she can't bring herself to do it."
He smiled gently and understandingly.
"Oh, right. Say no more."
"No, I...I think its best I tell you too, just so we all know to be careful around her. Madam Pomfrey found out that Lily was affected more than we thought, and she probably won't be able to have children again." I sighed heavily.
"Oh, god. How did she take it?"
"Its upset her quite badly, but when you get used to the idea, its not so bad."
The moment I said it I saw my mistake and could have kicked myself in the shin for it.
"What?" He almost snapped, with almost horror on his face.
"Uh, nothing...why?" My cover-up skills, as sharp as they ever were, came out in full force.
"Y-you can't either, can you?" He sighed, with more sympathy than shock. "Oh, Ren! I never knew, I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around me again, and perhaps I needed the comfort more this time than last.
"Well," I choked, holding back the rapidly advancing tears. "Its nothing, it...it just comes as part of the half-breed package, I suppose! I'm alright about it really, its just...just a bit painful to think about, you know?" And I could hold them back no longer. Silver tears of anger, frustration and pain, loaded with all that had happened in the last months flooded down my cheeks.
I cried into his shoulder for what must have been another hour, and he didn't complain. He just sat there with me, stroking my hair again. I finally composed myself, and decided that it was best I get it over with.
"Ed, I've got to go and find him."
He looked disapproving, and as I went to get up, he put his hand on my arm to hold me down.
"You're in no state to go breaking other peoples bad news now. You've done nothing but help Lily, and she deserves it, but you deserve a break just as much. Let me find him for you."
I looked at his determined, yet kind eyes, and gave a small smile.
"No...no, it has to be me. I won't be long, I promise."
And reluctantly, after a few seconds of a menacing gaze, he let me go with a kiss on the cheek.
I would just like to point something out, that in retrospect, I should have said last chapter. Rene's regal and formal tones changed last chapter, and her father did not come across as the imposing and intimidating man he is, but I was demonstrating how they change towards one another, because they are the two most trusting people in the story. I hope this will be clearer as we encounter (if you'll pardon the pun!) Pyietek Bolovnik later on.
Thank you to all my reviewers and readers from Slytherin Common Room. I salute you!
I think I had better do another disclaimer, just to be on the safe side. Little is mine. Severus, Lily, Hogwarts, the mirror, etc. all belong to JK Rowling, who I hope is busily writing HP & TOOTP. Edward Camerson is a creation of a friend of mine, Robert Camerson, who I hope is resting so he can get rid of his cold. The silver tears idea belongs to Elizabeth Stackhouse, nee Dakins, and Rene belongs to me, but that's it. I wish I did own the others, mind, they're great!
The Mirror and the Memory
I walked down a winding spiral staircase to the dungeons. The walls seemed darker and danker than they had ever been before, and the air was biting cold. My breath glided out in front of me, forming ornate silver clouds. I walked down the passage, looking through the doors of empty rooms as I did. The silence that enveloped the bitter stone of the floor, walls and ceiling, and deafened me as it bounced off them, louder than a thundercrack. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.
I looked up, and for the first time since I had left the common room, I paid attention to where I was going, and realised I had no idea where I was. i assumed I was still in the dungeons, but I had never known the passage to go this far. I decided to carry on, but I came to a dead end within minutes, apart from a large, mahogany door with wrought iron fixings. I saw no signs or notices to tell me I was not to be here or that I should turn back, so I tried the handle. if it was locked, it was locked, and I go back upstairs, but if it wasn't...
The lock clicked the moment my hand met the metal, and the door pushed itself open. The room was dark, except for two torches on the walls, which glowed with blue flames. I stepped in cautiously, and I thought for a moment that someone else was in the room. On closer inspection, I found it was a mirror. It had ornate patterning in gold around its frame, and I have not yet to this day forgotten the inscription.
"Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi"
I suspected some sort of trick at first; a joke set up by Malfoy and company to mock me. Vampires have no reflection, as they have no souls. The little bit of mortality gave me a faint hologram, but I looked no more than a ghost. I looked into the mirror, and to my amazement, I was whole. Not an impression of a form, an actual form itself. What amazed me more than this, and made me turn on my heels with speed, but I saw nothing, was the last glimpse of happiness I was going to have in a long time.
The mirror showed myself and Lily and Severus, and Ed hovering in the background. We all seemed to be enjoying ourselves in Hogsmead, like we used to. We were laughing and joking, and Ed was floating dangerously close to an unsuspecting Professor Sambora with what looked like a Fillibuster's Wet start Firework. I looked around again, but the room was bare, except for the flickering torches on the opposing walls.
It hypnotised me. I just stared at it for hours that seemed like minutes, just thinking about all that had happened, and all that was going to happen. There comes a point when you become too upset to cry, though you wish you could with all your heart. I stared into the jovial faces of people I didn't know anymore, wishing I could be in another time and place, with someone else's soul and someone else's face.
Then, as I glanced again at the memory in the mirror, it changed. I saw myself sitting on the floor of the room, and I was again my usual wisp of reality. I was just about to go and look more closely at the mirror, to see where it had disappeared to, when the big mahogany door opened behind me, and thinking it was another illusion, I just watched, to see what would happen. Ed's face peered around the door, and looked around the darkened room. Again, the mirror was showing me what I wanted more than anything, but I felt more than anything it was taunting me. Showing me things I would never have.
"Rene?"
I turned quickly, and it seemed that I had not seen another illusion. Ed was there, and he came over to me and sat down. I just stared at him, with nothing but silent prayers that he had not come to have another go at me. He reciprocated, and at the same time, we spoke; eyes fixed on the floor.
"I'm so sorry, I..." We looked up and smiled. He put his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Never Have I been so grateful for a friend offering support. I swear that if he had not come to find me, I would have stayed in front of that mirror for the rest of my life, pondering maybes and what ifs. He stroked my hair gently to calm me down, and it worked. I knew that I could trust Ed with my life, and that he really was one in a million.
We walked back upstairs sometime later, his arm around my shoulder, heading for the common room. As we entered, I remembered what Lily had asked me to do. I thought it was best to tell Ed as well, and just as I was about to speak, he began for me.
"What were you doing down there, anyway?" He said, but only with mild curiosity, not suspicion.
"I was looking for Sev. Lily needs me to tell him something; she can't bring herself to do it."
He smiled gently and understandingly.
"Oh, right. Say no more."
"No, I...I think its best I tell you too, just so we all know to be careful around her. Madam Pomfrey found out that Lily was affected more than we thought, and she probably won't be able to have children again." I sighed heavily.
"Oh, god. How did she take it?"
"Its upset her quite badly, but when you get used to the idea, its not so bad."
The moment I said it I saw my mistake and could have kicked myself in the shin for it.
"What?" He almost snapped, with almost horror on his face.
"Uh, nothing...why?" My cover-up skills, as sharp as they ever were, came out in full force.
"Y-you can't either, can you?" He sighed, with more sympathy than shock. "Oh, Ren! I never knew, I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around me again, and perhaps I needed the comfort more this time than last.
"Well," I choked, holding back the rapidly advancing tears. "Its nothing, it...it just comes as part of the half-breed package, I suppose! I'm alright about it really, its just...just a bit painful to think about, you know?" And I could hold them back no longer. Silver tears of anger, frustration and pain, loaded with all that had happened in the last months flooded down my cheeks.
I cried into his shoulder for what must have been another hour, and he didn't complain. He just sat there with me, stroking my hair again. I finally composed myself, and decided that it was best I get it over with.
"Ed, I've got to go and find him."
He looked disapproving, and as I went to get up, he put his hand on my arm to hold me down.
"You're in no state to go breaking other peoples bad news now. You've done nothing but help Lily, and she deserves it, but you deserve a break just as much. Let me find him for you."
I looked at his determined, yet kind eyes, and gave a small smile.
"No...no, it has to be me. I won't be long, I promise."
And reluctantly, after a few seconds of a menacing gaze, he let me go with a kiss on the cheek.
