More evilness! Note: The vodka idea comes from one of Anemone's fics. Credit to her on that.
HOBBITON HERALD reports:
VODKA AND GARDENING OBSESSION TURNS FOR THE WORST
It saddens our hearts to report the horrific end to a well-known gardener, Samwise Gamgee. It makes us even more sad to report he also had a drinking problem.
Gamgee was addicted to vodka. One day after a long, long drink at the pub he came to Bag End, his employer's home, and began his gardening duties. A vine ensnared his throat and choked him to death. This has been proven by a band of wallabies watching behind the cover of many trees.
On reports from the Gaffer, the younger Gamgee had almost always had a serious drinking problem. "It all started one night with a party...don' know what happened af'r that."
Gamgee's employer, Frodo Baggins, saw the end of his good friend's death. "In the beginning, I thought [Gamgee] was just puffing out a song," he confessed sadly. "Then I thought he was choking on a Cheez-it Pippin [Took] shoved down his throat, so I ran outside to give Sam the Heimlich. Turns out it was too late! Too bad. He was a good gardener."
Gamgee's funeral will be held tomorrow at Hobbiton Funeral Home. All hobbits, wallabies, and Cheez-its are encouraged to attend.
HOBBITON HERALD reports:
VODKA AND GARDENING OBSESSION TURNS FOR THE WORST
It saddens our hearts to report the horrific end to a well-known gardener, Samwise Gamgee. It makes us even more sad to report he also had a drinking problem.
Gamgee was addicted to vodka. One day after a long, long drink at the pub he came to Bag End, his employer's home, and began his gardening duties. A vine ensnared his throat and choked him to death. This has been proven by a band of wallabies watching behind the cover of many trees.
On reports from the Gaffer, the younger Gamgee had almost always had a serious drinking problem. "It all started one night with a party...don' know what happened af'r that."
Gamgee's employer, Frodo Baggins, saw the end of his good friend's death. "In the beginning, I thought [Gamgee] was just puffing out a song," he confessed sadly. "Then I thought he was choking on a Cheez-it Pippin [Took] shoved down his throat, so I ran outside to give Sam the Heimlich. Turns out it was too late! Too bad. He was a good gardener."
Gamgee's funeral will be held tomorrow at Hobbiton Funeral Home. All hobbits, wallabies, and Cheez-its are encouraged to attend.
