LEGOLAS
Image #1 for Legolas:
The fellowship walked silently through the forest. Everyone was tired and hungry and cold. An annoying humming could be heard, however. It was coming from Legolas.
Legolas looked up as everyone stared at him. "What?" He exclaimed.
The fellowship continued in solemn solidarity. Just then, Legolas stopped.
He fell to his knees and looked at the sky.
"I keep on fallin' - iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin love… with-a you!" The rest of the fellowship began to sing along, a la gospel choir.
"Sometimes I love ya… sometimes you make me blue!"
Image #2 for Legolas:
Scene: An archery competition. Legolas is preparing to shoot. Being the expert archer that he is, Legolas is expected to win the competition.
A hushed silence falls over the crowd. Frodo, Aragorn, Gandalf, and the rest of the Fellowship are watching intently. The mood is sober. As Legolas raises his bow and takes aim at the target, everyone in the audience is silent.
Legolas shoots, and misses the target by a mile.
The crowd erupts in murmurs; people are surprised that such a wonderful archer missed such an easy target. Everyone grows quiet suddenly. They all turn to look at Legolas. He snaps his bow, throws it to the ground and begins to stomp on it. Then, Legolas looks to the sky and screams,
"FU*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The mothers in the crowd clapped their hands over their children's ears. Everyone's eyes were round and large. But Legolas isn't done.
"FU*K!" He screams again "SH*T DAMMIT! I HATE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas takes an arrow from his quiver and stabs himself. He dies.
Okay, ::: raises eyebrows ::: that last one I didn't make up I had to publish it b/c I heard it w.o.m. from a friend who wanted me to publish it for him so… yeah…
