A purple rhinoceros has just trampled the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own X-Men Evolution characters. I am just counting the days until a new episode comes on to inspire me with new ideas. This little bit of insanity came up as a result of reading a fic by Towenden. Pointless and completely nuts, I know, but it's kind of fun.
Brotherhood Safari
Lance lay on the couch, half-watching TV and half daydreaming about Kitty when he heard the racket. He closed his eyes. "What are those lunatics doing now?"
He looked up when he saw Pietro, Fred and Tabitha come in. They were all dressed in safari outfits. "I believe the beast went this way!" Pietro called out to his little troop.
"Onward!" Fred called out, beating on a mini drum. "Our prey is near Bwana!"
"Oh goody," Lance rolled his eyes. "Another excursion into the land of make-believe! So what are you lunatics doing this time?"
"We're on safari in Africa," Pietro put a finger to his lips. "Be very, very quiet! We're hunting big game!"
"Look out for that lion Lance!" Tabitha called out. She lobbied a tiny energy bomb at a nearby pillow on the couch. Lance dove off just before it blew up. He sat on the floor watching the feathers fall around him.
"Oh yeah Tabby," Lance puffed a stray feather off his face. "Thanks a lot!"
"Come on Lance!" Tabitha smiled. "Join the fun!"
"We are on the hunt!" Pietro blew a loud note on his trumpet. "Move out!"
"You realize that the only reason I am going along with this is that there is nothing on TV and I am completely bored out of my mind," Lance told them. He got up and semi-reluctantly followed them through the house.
"I'm just curious," Lance asked. "What exactly are we hunting?"
"The most dangerous creature of all," Pietro told him. "The savage Saber-Toothed Toad!"
At this they heard a noise. Lance saw Todd crouching along in the kitchen. He was making roaring noises and had a pair of carrots in his mouth that were supposed to be teeth.
"Oh brother…" Lance rolled his eyes. "It's official. The Brotherhood has gone completely insane. And I'm just as nuts as they are. I'm talking to myself. That's the first sign of insanity…."
"Careful!" Pietro shushed him. "A Saber-Toothed Toad is most dangerous when cornered!"
"Whuff?" Todd raised his nose in the air, pretending to sniff out the scent.
"So how are we going to trap this dangerous beast?" Lance asked sarcastically. "Bazookas? Smart bombs? Killer robots?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Fred told him. "They're an endangered species. We'll just use this net on him." He lifted up a net.
Todd spotted them, then took off. The rest of the gang raced after him.
"Tally ho!" Pietro called out.
"View hall-oo!" Fred shouted.
"Charge!" Tabitha yelled.
"Whatever," Lance sighed as he raced off after them. They ran throughout the boarding house several times, up and down the stairs. They knocked several things over and caused much damage along the way. "Hey Pietro why don't you use your super speed to catch him?"
"Wouldn't be sporting old boy!" Pietro laughed.
"Oh really," Lance pointed. "He's heading for your room."
"AKKK! NO!" Pietro cried out, using his super speed to catch up to him. "BAD TOAD! BAD TOAD! DON'T YOU DARE SLIME MY STUFF! STOP JUMPING ON MY BED!" Pietro grabbed him by the waist, but Todd merely made animal noises and began to hop with Pietro hanging on. "HELP ME!"
Fortunately Fred had blocked Todd's exit and managed to catch him. "Got him!"
"Aw man," Todd grumbled. "That was too short. I don't wanna be the wild animal any more. Unless you guys find me a she-toad to play with…" He blinked his eyes at Tabitha.
"Don't even think about it," Tabitha folded her arms and glared.
"You know," Lance rubbed his chin in thought. "Toad has a point. I got an idea. There may be bigger game out there." A wicked grin crossed his face.
Later that afternoon at the park, the Brotherhood had gathered for their safari. Both Lance and Todd were now wearing safari outfits as well. They smirked when they saw some familiar faces relaxing outside.
"We are now going after the dangerous One-Eyed Prep Boy," Lance smirked as he readied his slingshot with a small water balloon. "As well as the Red Haired Psycho"
"Not to mention the Pea-Brained Porcupine," Pietro smirked readying his.
"Fire!" Fred shouted. Suddenly a barrage of water balloons appeared from nowhere, soaking the X-Men.
"What the..?" Jean barely had time to put up her shields before the second wave.
"Alvers!" Scott shouted.
"AKK!" Rogue shouted as she got doused.
"Hey I got a skunk!" Todd crowed.
"WHAT?" Rogue screamed. "PREPARE TO DIE SWAMP BREATH!" Todd laughed as she chased him around the park.
"What the heck is going on?" Kitty phased so that the water bombs passed harmlessly through her. Lance then popped out of the bushes and took a picture of her. She was so startled she got drenched. "LANCE!" She started chasing him around.
"I got a Kitty!" He yelled with delight. "I got a Kitty!"
"Oh you're gonna get it all right!" Kitty screamed, chasing after him.
Scott grumbled inwardly in frustration. There were other people walking along just at that moment, which meant that the X-Men couldn't retaliate with their powers. "ALVERS YOU TELL YOUR LOONS TO QUIT IT!"
"I love African safaris don't you?" Pietro laughed dousing Evan again.
"We must go to Africa more often!" Lance laughed as he ran for his life from Kitty.
