Jacqueline's Dilemma by Emma - Part Twenty-Two
"Where are you Jacqueline?" Antoine whispered to himself as he looked down the path that led into the wood. He had been following the trail he thought she had probably used for over an hour and there was no sign of her. He was beginning to get worried. It was now completely dark. He would be worried about himself in these circumstances, but Jacqueline. His heart nearly stopped beating every time he thought that any harm would come to her.
He lightly dug his heels into the horse's rump to make him start moving into the woods. The horse seemed less pleased about going in there than he was, but he had to. He did not care who he came across, just so long as he found Jacqueline before she ran into somebody he would rather she not. He just had to hope that Laurent had found her.
He was a little vexed at the thought of Laurent being sent after her. What sort of poison would he be telling her about him if he were given the chance. Laurent and Antoine were never friends, that was no secret. Laurent disapproved of the womanising ways of many of his fellow guards and Antoine was the chief of that particular brigade. Antoine did not trust Laurent. He seemed so moral and faultless. No man was as perfect as he appeared to be. He was definitely hiding something.
For now though he had to concentrate on the task at hand, finding Jacqueline and guiding her to somewhere safe. He did not care right now if she would not speak with him. He did not deserve to be acknowledged by her, let alone have her say an angry word to him. He just wanted to be able to see her, to make sure that she was all right. he would give anything to ensure her safety. He did not even mind the idea of Laurent poisoning her mind.
He spurred his horse to go a little quicker. He was sure she must have come this way. The manor lay in this direction and if he knew her, she would always return to the manor. She lived for that place. It would be instinctive for her to return in time of trouble. He was not so sure that she would actually go to the manor though, that would seem inappropriate somehow. She would probably have made it as far as the perimeters and just carried on past. Antoine always seems to instinctively know exactly where someone would go. He was not known as the best tracker and huntsman in the guard for nothing.
He began to move a little deeper into the forest. He was just praying that this time he was wrong and she had indeed gone back to the manor. The idea of her alone in the woods with all of those thieves and gypsies about was too much for him. Looking down at the forest floor he could tell that horses had come down this way recently. That could of course be anyone, but he had a feeling that he was going the right way, so he followed his instinct and continued further into the dense trees.
The look on Jacqueline's face when Sabine had first mentioned Marguerite's name was heartbreaking, but it was all Antoine could see in his mind. Those flawless features contorted in a hurt look was unbearably sad, but she looked beautiful even when she wasn't smiling.
Suddenly Antoine saw something moving on the other side of the trees. It was another horse and rider, heading in the opposite direction. He stopped his horse and turned to look as it came out of the forest to where the paths met just behind him. A flash of raven hair and a beautiful green gown on the back of a grey mare was all he needed to see to know that this was his Jacqueline. He quickly turned his horse and began to gallop after her.
"Jacqueline" he yelled as she came back into view. She did not hear him. Either that or she was just ignoring him. He couldn't blame he if she was.
"Jacqueline!" She still did not hear him. She was heading along the road back towards the palace. He feared what she planned to say when she returned. He knew he deserved no better, but he would not be able to bear it if she told him that she never wanted to see him again. Of course the only thing to do if that happened would be to resign his commission from the guard and retire to his estates. He could live alone. Steven Grey had done that for years and he was fine, a little lonely perhaps, but still sane. He deserved to be lonely after what he had done.
He dug his heels into the horse to try and make it move faster. Jacqueline was an accomplished horsewoman, but even she was no match for Antoine. He never failed to catch up with someone he was pursuing. Perhaps that was his problem.
As he gained slowly on her, he continued to call her name. It wasn't until he was practically level with her that she eventually heard him and quickly turned her head to look. Antoine smiled as her gaze momentarily met his. His smile, however, faded when he saw a low hanging branch quickly come into view, right in Jacqueline's path. Before he even had time to think, he reached out and grabbed hold of her, pulling her from the saddle. He continued to hold on to her for a few moments, before he lost his grip and she fell to the floor.
He pulled on the reins to stop his horse and jumped down to the ground, running over to where Jacqueline lay in the middle of the road.
"Jacqueline!" He practically screamed as he ran towards his fiancee who was lying in a crumpled heap. He flung himself on the ground beside her. Gently he rolled her over so that he could see if she was injured. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that her eyes were closed. Princess Danielle had almost died due to falling from a horse, how could he live if Jacqueline actually did die?
"Jacqueline, wake up!" He commanded. "Listen to me damn it" he said, almost as if he was talking to one of his men. He would do anything to make her wake up. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, but still there was no sign of movement. The tears that had threatened to seep from his eyes all day burst forward in pathetic sobs. He gently gathered her up and pulled her close to him. Tears were streaming down his face and he was wailing in a way he had never thought possible of a grown man. He had caused this. His evil immorality had driven the one woman he truly loved to her death.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. He sat in the middle of the road like that for five minutes, not wanting to be parted from his love. Then suddenly he felt a hand running slowly down his back and heard a soft groaning. He drew back from his embrace and looked straight into Jacqueline's eyes which were now open and very much alive. He could not speak, he simply pulled her close to him and kissed with all the passion and love that had manifested within him since she had run from his side in court.
Jacqueline's first instinct when she felt Antoine's lips on hers was to accept it and return the love. However, images of Marguerite began to dance around in her head and she soon remembered exactly what she was doing out here in the middle of the road. She placed her hands on Antoine's shoulders and pushed firmly so as to put some space between them. As much as she wanted to be as close to him as possible, she knew that if she fell under his spell now, she would never be able to say what she was returning to the palace to say.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, realising that what he had done must have repulsed her. After all why should she love him now?
"Well you should be," Jacqueline said trying to stand. Her legs buckled beneath her and a flash of pain seared through her skull. She cried out in pain and Antoine scrambled up so as to stop her falling to the floor again. He gently put his hand around her waist and she placed her arm around his shoulder. He guided her to the edge of the road and sat her down at the base of an oak.
Jacqueline looked up at the vast tree and smiled. Trees seemed to be playing a big role in her life at the moment. For a minute or so Antoine just stood and looked at her, not sure if he should speak or not. He was too afraid of what she might do if he said anything out of turn.
"You can sit down you know," Jacqueline said, a little irritated at his just standing there. Antoine said nothing, he simply sat beside her at the base of the tree. He had not realised just how cold it was until now. He could feel Jacqueline shivering. He quickly removed his black guards cloak and wrapped it around her. He gave no heed to the icy cold stabbing through his tunic, it was her he was worried about.
For a while they sat in total silence. They both were wondering how to broach the subject both wanted to talk about. It was Jacqueline who finally found the courage to speak first.
"Why did you come after me Antoine? Don't you think you did enough back there in court? Or do you just like to finish the job completely before moving onto your next hapless conquest?"
Antoine winced as she said these words to him. This language that she used was harsh and bitter and it did not suit her, but she had every right to use those words. He was just sad that he had been the cause of giving her that right.
"Answer me!" Jacqueline demanded. "Or am I so low in your opinion that I do not even warrant an explanation even when you owe me that much?"
"I'm sorry," Antoine said. "But I know not where to begin."
"The beginning is usually a good place," Jacqueline replied, the sarcasm obvious in her voice. Antoine took a deep breath and proceeded to tell her everything he had told Princess Danielle earlier.
Jacqueline sat in silence and listened as the story of Antoine's life unfolded before her. It was a tale she recognised well. One parent who was indulgent to the point of ruin, another who couldn't care less, the need to rebel. As he went through what he had done in the latter part of his life to date, she was shocked by his brutal honesty. She knew that he was holding nothing back and she respected him for not glossing over the worse parts.
Finally he came to the end of the narrative he had told the Princess and to the things that he wanted only Jacqueline to hear.
"When I came to the manor I assumed that you would now of my reputation or of my relationship with your sister..."
"Do not call her that," Jacqueline said sharply, speaking for the first time since he began his story. "She is not my sister, she is a whore."
"Please do not say that," Antoine said. "If you think that of her, what must you think of me? I can't afford for you to hate me Jacqueline."
"You have acted reprehensibly and I cannot for a second say I feel any pity for you, but in an odd sort of way you can justify your actions. She on the other hand, cannot. She had everything she ever wanted. My mother saw us all go without so that her precious Marguerite could have everything and still that wasn't enough for her. She is nothing more than a spoiled whore and she is getting everything she deserves."
"When I realised that you knew nothing about my past," Antoine said, returning them back to the subject at hand. "I decided that was the best thing, would be if you didn't know. I couldn't bear the thought of you thinking ill of me. Our friendship was too precious for that. I never gave a
thought to the idea that somebody else would tell you. I was blind. Blinded by you, your beauty, your elegance. Eventually I realised that I was blinded by love. I wouldn't blame you if you did not listen to me now, I know I don't deserve it, but please believe that the sentiments I expressed to you yesterday were true."
"What sentiments? I want to hear you say them," Jacqueline said, looking straight at him, with a pleading look on her face.
"I will never tire of saying what I said to you yesterday. Jacqueline I love you. I never pretended to be in love before. The emotions I felt with others were nothing compared to what I feel even when I'm in the same room as you." He took her hand and Jacqueline made no attempt to stop him. "When I touch you it's so beautiful an experience that I could die at that moment and be confident that I could be no happier. When I can't be near you, I want to die" As he said this he looked straight into Jacqueline's eyes and she could see the sincerity that lay within them.
She made no reply to what he said, she simply leant forward and lay her lips on his. Any doubts she had in her mind of him never loving her were gone and as he accepted her gesture of belief all of the happiness she had felt just hours before came rushing back to her.
Tears fell from her eyes. He placed his hands on her face and brushed away the tiny droplets of salt water with his thumbs. "Marry me Jacqueline," he whispered. "Please tell me that your forgive me by being my wife. I promise that I will dedicate my life to your happiness. I will be your slave if you will just be with me. Just love me Jacqueline. I ask nothing more of you but your love." Jacqueline said nothing. She couldn't. She did not want to ruin this moment with words of her own. She simply kissed him again and he accepted this as an acceptance.
They sat at the base of that oak for over an hour in each other's arms. No words passed their lips. Some things didn't need to be said and their love was one of those things. It existed everywhere, through their entire beings. It was bigger than words and more simple. It just was.
