Baby Sitting Chronicles

Ritsuko ran into the kitchen to retrieved the number to Lillith's cell phone. She could hear Rei, wailing at the top of her lungs, for her parents, as the little girl stomped up the stairs.

Kaworu, Asuka and Hikari followed the youngest of the group into her bedroom. Like always, it was a mess with toys strewn about, dirty clothes on the floor, and her large butterfly canopy bed was unmade. Rei was allowed to keep her room in disarray because her parents read a "child rearing book" that told them to be outré and allow their children to be the master of their own "personal space." Since the children seemed happy with the arrangement, the parents felt the book was right and referred to it often. However, the maid, who had to the clean the two Ayanami children's rooms once a week, felt the book was a load of crap!

Hikari immediately noticed a large pair of colorful, play butterfly wings hanging off of Rei's play table chair. "When did you get these, Rei-chan?" She asked as she quickly put them on.

The blue haired toddler glanced back and answered through a sob. "Yesterdaaaaaay."

"Can I wear them?" Hikari asked even though she already had them on. She did a twirl to show how much she liked having them on.

Rei whimpered even more. She didn't *want* anyone to wear her new wings; she just got them. Moreover, she didn't want Hikari to wear them because the little pigtailed haired girl bent up wire in her other ones. However, Rei didn't say no; her mama said it was rude not to share. So instead of answering, she made her way to her private bathroom and hoped Hikari would get the hint and take them off.

Of course, the pigtailed haired girl didn't get the hint and kept them on and skipped around the large messy room as she pretended to fly.

"Does it hurt?" Asuka asked curiously as she watched the little blue haired girl stand on a step stool so she could reach the sink's faucet.

Rei nodded to the question. The "cooties" itself didn't hurt, but the thought of having them was what brought her the pain. The emotional pain.

Kaworu walked into the bathroom and stared worriedly at his little sister. He watched her cry as she turned on the cold water and squeeze a large amount of hypo allergenic soap out of her butterfly soap dispenser.

"Do you think you are going to be ok?" He whimpered out.

Rei looked at her ruined, favorite thumb and started to cry harder as she shook her head no.

It wasn't long before the little sliver haired boy started to cry too. He felt so bad for her, and he didn't know how to help her. Without touching her that is.

After Kaworu started to cry, Hikari stopped her prancing around and started to cry too. Asuka's crystal blue eyes widened fearfully as she stared at all of her sobbing friends. She wondered if Kaworu and Hikari were crying because they somehow caught cooties too! She didn't see them touch Rei, but ...maybe...cooties were AIR BORN!!! With that in mind, she turned around and quickly ran out of Rei's room.

The five year old found Misato and Ritsuko in the kitchen dialing a number on the cordless.

~ring ring~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the banquet

Hundreds of wealthy men and women congregated in the elaborate ballroom of a four star hotel. They ate hors d'oeuvre handed to them, on sliver salvers, by waiters who were dressed in a white dress shirts and black slacks. The live band played mediocre sounding music, which drifted softly through the crowd; although, few couples did enjoy the music enough to dance. However, most people did not come to these functions for that sort of fun. Most came to shmooze , make business connections, or gossip.

That was why the small group of friends kept to their own little "click" while they were at these affairs.

All the men stood in circle and spoke of various things, from work, to sports, to the various things their wives *forced* them to do. Like coming to this charity. The General Shinzoo Sorhyu laughed at a story, Misato's father, Dr. Kei Katsuragi told them. The man was telling the tale of how his young teenaged daughter talked him and his wife into buying her a hot water penguin.

"So who takes care of it, Kei since Misato is inept?" Gendo asked curiously.

Kei looked at his long time friend and smiled. Ikari's callous way of speaking didn't bother him, for he knew the man couldn't help himself. "Her mother and I do." The man laughed. "The housekeeper adamantly refuses, no matter how much we offer to pay her."

Shinzoo laughed heartily. "I wonder if my Asuka will be as inventive as your daughter, Kei?"

"I'm sure she will." Takashii Horiki assured warmly. "And if the future is like the present, I believe *my* daughter will want to be like Asuka."

Adam Ayanami smiled warmly at that statement, but his attention was drawn toward his wife when he heard her cell phone chime.

~~

Like the men, the woman flocked within their comfortable circle. Lillith Ayanami was listening to a story, the computer conglomerate, Jun Suzuhara was telling of how her "twins" took the good news that they were going to have a baby sister.

"Can you believe that all this time..." The light brown haired woman giggled. "They actually thought I had a watermelon in my stomach?"

All the women in the group giggled feverishly.

Then Yui pondered out loud. "I wonder if Shinji wants siblings?.... I know it must get lonely for him being the only child." Mrs. Ikari always wanted to have another child but being the head resident doctor at Tokyo-Memorial didn't leave the time to try start over with a new child.

Lillith was about to comment on Yui's question, but she heard the gentle melody of Beethoven's 9th coming from her expensive gown purse. After she reached into her purse, and took out her phone, she immediately noticed the number on the caller Id. In a gentle, calm voice, she asked . "Is every thing all right, Ritsuko?."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, Ayanami-san!" The blond teen whimpered woefully as she walked up the steps toward Rei's bedroom. "Rei thinks she has cooties! I assured her she didn't..... but she won't listen to reason!"

Misato and Asuka followed closely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who does she believe she acquired them from?" The woman asked sweetly. She didn't doubt her daughter's claim. She never doubted her children.

Adam stared expectantly at his wife. She glanced back at him and smiled reassuringly.

"Is anything wrong?" He mouthed.

As Ritsuko explained what happened, Lillith put a pale delicate hand over the mouth of her cell phone and answered softly. "Rei-chan thinks she has cooties....She thinks she acquired them from Shinji."

Gendo's brow quirked at the mention of his son's name. Not even a second later, his phone rang. "Ikari."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"DADDY!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo winced as he held the phone away from his ear, then timidly brought it back. "Shinji, what's wrong?"

He already knew. This cootie thing had been the subject of his son's concentration for almost three weeks now. Gendo took a deep breath and stared at his wife. There was no malice in his gaze, but there was a bit of irritation. He felt that Yui should have ended Shinji's fear of cooties the same day the boy saw Saionji's mouth. Instead, she thought it was cute and allowed the child to believe in the gender germ. This in turn, also made Shinji's fear of the opposite sex sky rocket! That was something else he wasn't particularly fond of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Daddy!!!" The little boy cried. "Rei..(hiccup sob)... Rei...(hiccup sob).... Rei....(hiccup sob).."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shinji, calm down." Gendo chided warmly to his highly distraught son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji walked into Shinji's bathroom. He took a quick glance around the large private space and at all the Eva purple knickknacks, before he admitted. "I can't find it."

Shinji's eyes tripled in size. Kaji-san couldn't find the anti-cootie soap!! That was the worst news ever!! The little boy took a deep breath then yelled into the phone. "Where's the special soap, Daddy!!! We can't find it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ikari winced and held the phone away from his ear again, then looked over at Yui. "Where's the special soap, love?"

"There is no special soap." She answered back softly. "Just tell Misato to use any bar of Ivory in the cabinet."

Gendo nodded and returned his attention back to the phone. "Shinji, let me speak to Misato."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She's gone!" The boy cried out hysterically . He was completely horrified that they couldn't find the special anti-cootie soap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean she's GONE?!!" Gendo turned on his heels, and in a dark storm of emotions he headed for the exit that irresponsible little twit... leaving my son BY HIMSELF!

Yui's eyes widened and her hand fluttered to her chest as she quickly followed her husband.

Mrs. Katsuragi lowered her head and covered her eyes with her hands. please tell me that Misato didn't leave Shinji alone...again The Ikari's didn't know about the first time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji heard Shinji's father yell, and he immediately knew that the man took his son's words the wrong way. So he quickly took the phone from the crying child. "Ikari-san, It's me Ryouji."

Shinji wobbled out of the bathroom and into his impeccably neat bedroom. He moved his little legs and slouched his shoulders as if he were lethargic and was about to collapse from exhaustion. Or faint from stress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo stopped and calmed down but still growled out angrily. "Where's Misato?" He felt more secure knowing that his son wasn't alone; however, he was still upset that the original babysitter wasn't there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji swallowed hard before he answered. "Shinji refused to allow her to baby-sit him.... He was scared that she would give him even more cooties."

Just the mention of cooties sent the little boy into another hysterical crying fit. Kensuke and Touji, who followed Shinji home, tried their best to comfort their friend... without touching him, of course.

Kaji sighed and plugged his free ear with his finger. Shinji had an ear piercing scream and the teenager was quickly getting a headache. "Sir, if you would so kindly tell me where the anti-cootie soap is, I would greatly appreciate it."

********

On the other end, Lillith was in a calm debate with her youngest child. She had already informed Rei that there was no such thing as cooties; however, Rei was convinced that her mother was mistaken. The little blue haired girl was not only sure that cooties were real, she was positive that she had already had them.

"I-I-I." The little girl hiccupped dolefully, then managed out through her tears. "I got cooties before.... from Mr. Fluffy, 'member?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No sweetie..." Lillith soothed. "You are *allergic* to Mr. Fluffy... Remember when your father and I explained Felis domesticus, Fel d 1 to you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still stifling back her sobs with painful hiccups, the little girl nodded even though her mother couldn't see it. Then she countered in a wail. "W-whh-what about Touji-kun?... You said I couldn't touch him...'member? Cause *he* had coooootiiiiieeeees."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lillith's dark eyes widened in distress and she looked at Touji's mother. That was *not* what she said. "Little butterfly, I told you and your brother not to touch Touji-kun because he had Epidermophyton.... Remember? But now it is ok... because he has been treated."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei tilted her head to the side and tried to remember if she heard that word before. "Oh yeah..." She whimpered. "You didn't want me to have any worms that made riiiiiiiiings..."

The young blue haired girl always thought that was terribly unfair. She really wanted one of those magical worms! She needed one, so it could make her a butterfly ring. She had even planned on allowing her magic ring making worm to make rings for Hikari and Asuka.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No baby," Her mother corrected calmly.. "He had a ringworm. A _ring_worm. It's not a good thing... Remember the pictures I showed you? "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei's crimson eyes widened and she started to cry and again.

***************

"But I _saw_ the cooties, daddy!" Shinji cried into the phone as he sat on his bed. "They were all over his mouth and now they will be all over my mouth too!!"

Touji and Kensuke sat on the adjacent bed and nodded in agreement. Shinji had two beds in his room and underneath each bed was another bed that rolled out, almost like a dresser drawer. In the twins opinion, Shinji had the coolest room out of all the boys. It was decorated like the Eva Rangers secret lair. That was the reason that when they had sleepovers, they mostly had them at Shinji's house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shinji." Gendo soothed the best he could in his naturally commanding tone. "He didn't have cooties; he had Herpes Simplex Type 1."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The little boy shook his head no. He saw them; he was there. And Saionji said that he had COOTIES. Shinji made frantic hand gestures and sobbed as he interrupted. "Herpes?! Cooties?! What's the difference?!" Shinji had no idea what his dad was talking about. His dad often spoke to him with words he didn't understand.

"Yeah... what's the difference?" The twins said almost in unison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo took a deep breath and answered with a lukewarm patience that he would only bestow on his wife and son. "If you give me a chance, I will explain it to you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"kay." The little boy whimpered and tried to be patient.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo took another deep breath and began his watered down explanation. "Herpes Simplex 1 are blisters that form on the lips and on the inside of the mouth ....These blisters soon develop into painful ulcers that will--"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji's brow furrowed. "Daddy..." He interrupted. He had no clue what his dad talking about. "I want to speak to mommy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo stopped mid-sentence and all the expression drained from his face.

Yui giggled a bit as she stared at her beloved husband. She knew exactly what her young son just did. He couldn't understand the terminology his father was using, so he no longer felt the need to listen.

With a flat expression, Gendo handed the phone to his wife. Yui gently received it as she whispered lovingly. "He's your son, so what did you expect?"

A soft smirk of agreement appeared on the man's lips. Yui was right. Gendo knew, as everyone knew that he wouldn't hesitate to dismiss a conversation if he didn't deem it important.

Yui put her ear to the phone. Shinji was in the middle of a distraught rant, so she did not completely understanding what he was blubbering about at the other end of the phone. So, it was a mistake when Yui answered "Yes."

~~~~~~~

The little boy dropped the phone and started screaming. so daddy was wrong.... Herpes *are* COOTIES!! And now I caught them from Rei-chan!!!!!

Kaji, who was looking for the Ivory soap, ran back into the bedroom to see what was wrong, when Shinji started to scream hysterically. The teen looked accusingly at the twins, who were now playing with Shinji's Eva Ranger Purple action figure.

The two boys glanced at each other, in wonder of why they received such a heated glare, then they looked back at Kaji and cried out. "We didn't do it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

18 minutes later.

All seven children, plus the three teens were in the Ikari family room because Shinji had adamantly refused to go Rei's house as was intentionally planned.

All the children were sitting on the floor, the boys on one side, and the girls on the other. Four of them were blubbering and the other three looked terrified. The three teens unanimously felt that the parents did more harm than good with their explanations to the alleviate the children's fear of the dreaded cooties germ. So the babysitters decided to do what the parent's were too inept to do. They were going to set the record straight.

Kensuke stared at Shinji, who sat on the boy's side but sorta separated from the other three boys, and asked his brother in a whisper. "I wonder what's going to happen to him... now that he has cooties."

Touji coned his hand over his mouth, to amplify his voice, as he whispered loudly. "His lips are probably going to fall off."

Shinji's eyes tripled their size, for he heard the elder twin as clear as a bell. His frantic gaze shot toward Kaji, and he sobbed out. "My LIPS are going to fall off?!"

"No, they are _not!" Ritsuko assured sternly. She looked at the little boy's slightly swollen lips and bit back chuckle. His lips may not fall off but she knew that they would probably be sore for at least two days from all the abusive rubbing and washing he did to them. She then looked at Misato to see if her purple haired friend found what she was looking for.

Misato was searching through the hundreds of numbered DVDs in the Ikari's home video library, while Kaji pilfered through the catalog which told him what was on each numbered case. The purple haired teen growled in frustration. She didn't understand how the Ikari's accumulated such a large amount of taped footage of Shinji. Right when she was about to give up, Kaji found what they were looking for, in the catalog, and told Misato where to find it. Shinji's 5th birthday, which was just five weeks past, was in case 235.

"Found it!" Kaji called out as he quickly grabbed the cased item from his girlfriend's hand.

"Good." Ritsuko sigh relieved.

All the children looked on curiously as Kaji put the DVD in the player.

"Why are we watching Shinji's birthday?" Asuka asked impatiently once the visual came up. "I thought you said you were going to prove that cooties weren't real."

"We are." Misato chimed affably, then looked at the blue haired toddler. "Rei, did you have cooties before today?"

The little girl started to cry harder and shook her head no.

"Are you sure?" Misato smiled and quirked a brow.

Rei's shoulders shook as she started to cry harder and nodded. Ritsuko rushed over to little girl and picked up into a comforting embrace. She couldn't stand seeing the little girl so sad.

Misato turned her gaze to the other distraught child. "Same question. Shinji, did you have cooties before today?"

Shinji shook his head no as he hiccupped his sobs.

"Are you sure? Misato asked again with a smile.

"What's the point of this?" Asuka asked. Her five year old genius mind saw no logic to these question.

Kaworu looked at the teen through blurry eyes. He couldn't see the point of this either.

"I just wanted to make sure." Misato answered sweetly then turned around toward wide screen TV. She chose the block on the menu where Shinji was opening his presents. She knew exactly what she was looking for because she was forced to come to this party. Right after Shinji opened a present which revealed a second Eva Ranger Purple Deluxe Edition, Version II, she allowed the DVD to play in real time.

Everyone watched on silently.

//// "Go on butterfly, go and give Shinji his present."

The little blue haired girl shook her head no without taking her thumb from her mouth.

"Ahhhh this is going to be so cute... Where's my camera?" A random adult cooed.

"If you can't find your camera in time...I'll make you a copy of it, from my film." Yui offered. "You're getting this right, love?"

"Yes Yui." Gendo laughed.

"Go on, sweetie!" Adam urged as he patted Rei's bottom to push her toward the birthday boy.

"I no wanna." Rei protested softly.

"Shinji, come here." Yui called out sweetly. "Rei wants to give you something special for your birthday."

The little boy peaked through a small opening left by the dozen of kids that surrounded him and looked at his mother. When he saw her gesture for him again, he pushed all his presents out of the way and quickly crawled out of the birthday circle. All his other friends paid no mind to where he was going and each child grabbed one of his many toys and started playing with it.

With another gentle push, Rei walked over and stopped in front of the birthday boy.

"You got somthin for me?" He held out his hand.

Rei looked back toward her parents, then turned around with a defeated look on her face. She reluctantly took her thumb out of her mouth, placed her other hand in his, and pulled down on it, slightly, with a little tug. When Shinji bent over she...../////

Rei's eyes tripled their size and she quickly buried her face on Ritsuko shoulder. Shinji fell back and feigned faint.

Oh how long have they suffered with these cooties and didn't know it?!?!

All the other kids just watched the innocent little kiss in pure horror.

/// About a dozen camera's flashed. All the parents Oooo'd and Ahhh'd as if the innocent kiss was the cutest thing they had ever seen. The two little ones quickly separated from the chaste kiss an quickly wiped off their mouth with the back of their hands.

Shinji smiled at the little girl. "Thank you, Rei-chan."

She nodded and put her thumb back in her mouth. The kiss wasn't what bothered her; it was having to take her thumb out of her mouth that was the big chore.

The two children then walked toward the birthday circle as if nothing happened///

Misato cut off the TV and looked expectantly at all the children.

There was a dead silence in the room. Well, there would have been dead silence if Rei wasn't wailing.

Painstakingly slow, Asuka turned her head and looked at Kaworu. Last December, Kaworu gave Asuka her birthday kiss. Kaworu looked at Hikari; she was the one who gave him his kiss. Hikari looked at the twins, and Kensuke and Touji both looked back at her, for they both gave her a kiss on her birthday.

Oh.... the horror.....

The three teens looked at each other triumphantly. They knew that birthday kisses _weren't_ that big of a deal to the children. They were _always_ given by someone. However, the teens had no idea of the traumatic anguish that was swirling in the chibi's head.

"See..." Misato said victoriously to her friends as she flicked her wrist and pointed at the children. "All we had to do was remind them that they have had contact before and that they ..."

Before the purple haired teen could finish her sentence, screams of every ear-shattering chord, every horrible and unimaginable pitch was simultaneously heard coming from the seven children.

Kaji quickly covered his ears. Ritsuko put Rei down and covered her ears as well. Then the two glared at Misato and growled. "Anymore bright idea's Misa-chan?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

45 minutes later.

"So we don't have cooties?" Hikari sniffed out timidly.

"Correct." Kaji sighed in exasperation and raked his hand through his unruly hair. He had a headache and wondered how many different ways they were going to have to explain this to the chibi's before the kids accepted the truth.

"And you're *sure* we don't have herpes?" Touji asked for the millionth time.

"Yeah, you're *sure?*" Kensuke said, repeating his brother, for the millionth time.

"Positive." Ritsuko promised through grit teeth. The young blond had one nerve left, and the kids were majorly stomping on it. They kept asking the same questions over and over.

"How are you so sure? Asuka asked; even though, she desperately wanted to believe that the blond was telling the truth.

"Yeah..." Rei whimpered. "Mama said you can get herpes from little boys."

The other six children looked expectantly at the teens. Everyone knew that the Ayanami's never lied. They were too afraid of God to lie.

Misato growled under her breath. She always felt that the Ayanami parents were to _honest_ with their children. What's more, she was at the *end* of her, already short, patience, and she still had a couple of more hours to watch them. She raked her hand through her purple tresses and tried not to yell. "You guys aren't listening! You _can't_ get herpes from someone who _doesn't_ have them. And since _none_ of you _had_ them..._none_ of you _have_ them now!!" She failed miserably in her attempt to maintain low tones.

The teens were given blank stares from all the children for about two minutes. Then Kaworu asked

"So we don't have cooties?"

Oh how the teens just wanted to throttle those kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until about 15 minutes later, did the kids finally accept that they didn't have cooties or herpes. Actually, it was Asuka who accepted it first, then Kaworu. After those two accepted the truth, all the children accepted it as truth. In the other five children's opinion, if Asuka and Kaworu said that they didn't have cooties or herpes then... they didn't have cooties or herpes. They were the oldest, so they knew everything. It was as easy as that.

However, by the time the kids all agreed that they didn't have cooties or herpes, Misato's, Ritsuko's and Kaji's nerves were shot. They would have *never* guessed that it would take that *long* to convince seven kids that they were not infected with a gender germ. After they were finally successful, all they could do was watch in dumbfounded anger and amazement as the five kids accepted the truth, not even a second later after to "two leaders" did. The three teens watched the chibi's go outside to play. TOGETHER. Happily together...OH SO HAPPY TOGETHER.... Touching, laughing, giggling, and TOUCHING as if they *never* had a fear in the world.

Ritsuko sighed heavily as she sunk into the plush white couch. She absently thought only the Ikari's would have white furniture in a family room She felt that it was quite disconcerting to realize_ too late_ that they only had to convince the "two leaders" and not all seven of them.

"Its amazing how quickly they forget." Kaji pondered out loud as he sat next to Ritsuko and watched the last of the group happily walk out of the back, sliding glass door.

Misato remained standing. Her right eye had a nervous twitch as she watched the children leave. Those kids got on her nerves.... and my parents wonder why I hate babysitting so much. She vowed then and there... that she would never have children. It would just be her and her penguin....and Kaji, of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't own anything that deals with Evangelion.

Sorry for taking so long with this chapter ^_~ I have two jobs and I'm a full time student again. So chapters to all my fic's will be slowly forth coming . Ohhh how I wish for more holidays. But don't worry....I haven't quit writing. ^_~

I love ya lots. I really really do.

Kimberly