"As I close my eyes
"As I close my eyes

Steady my feet on the ground

Raise my head to the sky

And though time rolls by

Still I feel like that child

As I look at the moon

Maybe I grew up

A little too soon."

-Mariah Carey

Chapter One

"Ginny go sit down it's almost time." Molly Weasley shouted from the next room. I raised an eyebrow; I was shocked she still noted my existence.

"Mum where are Fred and George? I know they're going to plan something awful and I will not have them ruin this day!"

"Relax Percy I just sent them out a few minutes ago to get your father. Ginny I said leave." She repeated. I didn't want to upset her nerves anymore than I already have so I did as I was told. It seemed to be a pattern I was quickly learning to despise.

It was the "grand" wedding day of my older brother Percy Weasley. Mum's favorite son all grown up and starting a family. She was so proud of her genius, hard working, and wealthy son. Me, well I was a disappointment to the family. Why you may ask? I mean being the only daughter of seven children you would think I was treated like a princess, how wrong you are. No, I was the poor daughter of a lower middle-class family, who had no aspirations in the world. My parents were upset because every Weasley knew just want they wanted to be in life, but not me. Bill and Charlie found jobs right after Hogwarts, one working for Gringotts in Egypt and the other chasing dragons in Romania. Percy, mums little angel, was hired by the Ministry of Magic after they found out the results of his N.E.W.T.S test. Mother threw a celebration party that lasted all day and night when he informed us of the "good" news.

"Now you and your father can work together." She explained with a bright smile and a loving hug.

"Ginny, aren't you excited for me?" He asked me that day. My stomach turned and I had to hold in the bile that threatened to rise in my throat. But I faked it, I always did. I was Ginny, actress extraordinaire.

"Of course I am happy for you big brother. Congratulations." Ten minutes later I found myself in the bathroom throwing up the solitary piece of toast I ate that day.

I thought things might have been getting better after that. Fred and George were not that great in school, but they still had plans for their joke shop, and of course they made it big within a year of the grand opening. I never really bothered with them; they were nearly dead to me after they left home. Moved somewhere down south to a big city and now have 20 stores spread worldwide. They don't bother to come visit anymore, barely even remember to write to mum every once in a while. I didn't care though; I rarely cared about anything these days.

Ron was a different story. I thought for once I had someone I could relate to. Here was a brother close to me in age and grade wise and he had no idea what lay ahead for him in the future. I was so thrilled! But I was horribly mistaken when he announced after his 6th year of school that he wants to pursue a career as an Auror, and received high scores on his O.W.L.S. That was my breaking point I think. It was at that moment I realized I would never be the same person I was before. I was broken inside, broken and alone and all I wanted to do was sleep. But sleeping cannot escape the realities that lay ahead, and no amount of dreaming can bring back the innocence that was lost that day.

"Ginny, you look so lovely!" A voice exclaimed from the seat behind me. I turned around to see the face of my older brother, his girlfriend, and the 'Boy Who Lived'.

"Thank you Hermione." I replied. Quick and to the point has been my motto. I never spoke unless given a reason. People called me shy, I called them ignorant.

"So Gin, ready to start your 6th year?" Harry asked. I once had a terrible crush on him. But really what teenage girl didn't? He was a smart, attractive, well-known hero and an incredible Quidditch player. But it was still a crush, and in my fourth year I got over it quickly when Seamus Finnegan asked me out. Our relationship only lasted a month or two, I really don't remember all that much. I broke up with him for a 5th year transfer student, a mistake that I regret with each breath I take.

"Hello Ginny." He said to me one night after we snuck out to meet in an old unused classroom. He was sinfully handsome and I was told to be immensely lucky to be dating him. His eyes were a dark brown and his hair was even darker. Perfect eyebrows rose in greeting and rose lips met mine in an electric kiss. But happily ever after is only a fairy tale, and this was not prince charming.

We got in a fight earlier that day. He accused me of still loving Seamus and I told him he was mad. Why would I want a guy like Seamus when I had this incredibly "perfect" boyfriend already? But we still fought, and he was so much stronger than I was. The halls were bare and the students and teachers were tucked in for the night. At first it was only verbal…

"You slut, you still have feelings for the guy! I saw the way you looked at him today in the Great Hall. Do you think me that stupid?"

I denied it of course. I was innocent. I may have glanced at Seamus but that was because he was talking to my brother, who was in turn trying to get my attention from the other end of the table.

"I was trying to get my brothers attention Tom!" I screamed back to him. I found myself on the floor with a cut lip only moments later. My body shook with fear and rage, a battle that lasted only minutes before he tore my clothes and raped me.

I never told anyone. No one would have believed me anyway. He was this perfect student, a role model among others and I was his willfully "perfect" and "happy" girlfriend. It didn't matter though, he transferred a few days later and I never saw, or heard, from him again. I considered that one of the few blessings in my life.

It took me a few days to finally pull myself together. Too short a time you may say? Not really. I figured there was nothing I could have done; no amount of hating will change what has been done, so I moved on. I created a bubble around myself. I let no one in, and no part of me went out. It was, in my mind, the ideal arrangement. Selfish you may say, maybe I was. But in my fourteen year-old mind I thought of it as my way of protecting myself. It has been nearly two years since that dreadful day and the memory still haunts my dreams at night. I'm weak; I know it and I accept it. I let that bastard take away every childish notion of love and happiness that I ever felt, and still I did nothing to stop him. I haven't been able to look at myself in the mirror same way since. I let him win.

I was about to reply to Harry's question when the conversations suddenly stopped and music began to fill the late afternoon air. Penelope Clearwater walked down the small isle seconds later with a radiant smile and a gown fit for a queen. Jealously stirred its ugly head in my thoughts as I watched bride and groom join hands in front of the minister. I looked around at the flowers and decorations that hung and streamed from every corner of the room. My parents and Penelope's went to great lengths to make their childrens wedding a momentous occasion. Not even Bill's wedding the previous year compared to the intricate detail and financial cost of mother's favorite child.

The ceremony was beautiful, weddings usually are, and the reception following was adorned with delicious food and romantic music. The very idea nearly disgusted me. I figure I've paid my due by at least showing up, no one said I had to stay. The reception was held in our backyard (because of the space and also to save on money). Mother went all out on the decorations and at first glance you would never have mistaken our house as a shambled two-story shack. Fairies adorned the high columns set up at certain areas of our yard. Tall Greecian Ionic columns woven intricately with vines and lilies, the very idea must have cost a fortune, but nothing is too expensive for Percy.

I passed the table where the caterers were in the process of arranging pate on sterling silver platters and crystal glasses filled with flowing red wine. Voices of guests were nearing closer so I grabbed a glass of wine and headed for the trail that led into the forest behind my house. Everyone would be too busy congratulating the happy couple to notice a short sixteen year-old 'child' not there. I was invisible to them, invisible to myself in some ways too I guess. But it didn't bother me, I was far past caring anymore; I was numb. Unbelievably numb and dead to the pain that has consumed my soul these past few years. Maybe it was always with me, since I was a young girl begging for my mothers attention. 'Me, look at me mum, I'm right here!'

"Mum guess what? I got an A- in my Potions class this year."

"Mum you'll never believe it. I received top marks in my class on the N.E.W.T.S!"

"That's great Percy! This calls for a celebration, a party for my bright young man!"

"Mum? I got an A…aren't you happy for me too?"

"I'm sorry dear I missed what you just said…"

I guess I had to face the fact that day that everyone would always be better than me. Especially mother's favorite golden child, her perfect little son. I wanted for once, just once, see Percy make a mistake, for him to do something that would make him seem normal, human. But that would never be, for how can you make a mistake when you're perfect? Perfect Prefect Percy, Head Boy of his class and top official in the Ministry of Magic. Just recently married and off to spend a luxurious honeymoon in the Bahamas sipping cocktails out of million dollar glasses.

I suppose one would say I'm jealous, maybe I was too, long ago. I've learned to accept what fate has given me though; I've learned that I will always that quiet nobody in a family of somebody's. But I don't mind it too much anymore, truly I don't. This will be Ron's last year, and by then I will be the only child left in the family going to school, I'll have to be noticed…won't I? Maybe once Ron leaves home to be an Auror Mum and Dad will pay attention to their baby, their youngest, their little girl. Next year, next year will be my turn in the spotlight. Next year I will be the one that gets good grades and receives a party for my accomplishments. Maybe I'll even get a job, one far better than a mere official in the Ministry of Magic, maybe I'll be famous and travel the world. Then I can come home on holidays like Fred and George and Charlie and have wonderful stories about the places I've been to and the sites that I've seen. I'll even find someone to love me, someone who'll buy me a sparkling blue diamond engagement ring and place white roses in my hair, just like in my dreams. Then I'll start my own family, though not as big as mine, and I can bring my children here where my parents can pamper and coo about how darling they look. And maybe one day my kids will go to Hogwarts and meet friends and partake in their own adventures, just like my brother and his two best friends.

And maybe one day I'll stop living in a world of impossible fantasies…