A note before this starts: We didn't make up these characters, JK did, we
just put them in unusual situations, this is not to be taken seriously,
and anyone who does so should seek psychiatric help!
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2
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4 The Ultimate Harry Potter Romance
Second Chapter, different to the first, a little bit madder and a little bit worse.
Hermione searches for love…Again.
At the end of the last chapter, Ron had cruelly dumped Hermione and Hermione had professed her love for Draco. However, unknown to her, Draco and Harry were already an item, and they were now engaged. Harry is pregnant with Draco's child – Hermione is pregnant with Harry's. And so, the saga continues…
Moaning Myrtle floated through the wall of the bleeping girls' bleeping bogs, and laughed at the scene before her. Hermione had passed out with the shock, and Harry and Draco had taken this opportunity to…it was disgusting! They were…playing chess in her bathroom! How unhygienic!
"WHAT THE BLEEP DO YOU BLANKETY BLANKS THINK YOU'RE BLEEPING DOING PLAYING BLEEPING CHESS IN MY BLEEPING GIRLS BLEEPING BOGS?"
She looked down.
"That knight's horse has bleeped all over my floor!"
At that moment, Ginny walked in.
"Hermione, Ron told me…"
She saw Harry and Draco playing an end game with Harry only having three pieces left.
"DRACO! How could you play chess with him? I thought I was your only chess mate! Did last night mean nothing to you?"
Harry looked shocked.
"I wondered why you were late."
"Draco I LOVE you!" Yelled Ginny, before she realised that it was becoming cliché. "But you betrayed me. Y-You played chess with some-one else"
Ginny ran out, only to collide with Professor Snape, wearing a mini-skirt.
Snape had never disliked Ginny. It was only because of the sausage incident that had traumatised him, leaving an emotional scar, which would never cease to hurt him, that he despised all Gryffindor and made him treat them badly in Potions. And in the hall. And occasionally at dinner. And if he saw them out shopping a couple of hexes would never go amiss.
"TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR SEEING ME IN A MINI-SKIRT"
"B…but Sir…I'll remove my eyes, please don't take the points. We're already minus 2762 because you took them in Potions."
"Another ten points for being sensible"
"B…but Sir! Mr.Snape! Severus! Sevvie! Proffie! I – I…"
"What is it mudblood?"
"I'm a pureblood!"
"Sorry Herm – Ginny. Wishful thinking. What?"
" I love you!"
"YOU WHAT? 2762 points from Gryffindor for falling in love with an extremely attractive teacher. Wanna snog though?"
"Yeah, OK"
They were just sharing a chocolate frog when Hermione came round, and poked her head out of the door. Snape dropped Ginny (who was half his height) on Hermione's head.
"Hermione" Snape stammered "I know I'm not your sexual preference, but I wondered if you found me remotely attractive in a mini-skirt?"
"What? Why with the mini-skirt?"
"I…er…Aren't you a…um…lesbian?"
"Yes actually." Hermione pulled Ginny to her side. "I love Ginny"
"B…but" Ginny stuttered "I love Snape"
"I thought you loved Draco" Hermione replied.
"Yes. But then he played chess with some one else. Severus would never do that to me. I love Snape."
"But I love Harry" Snape declared.
Harry stuck his head out of the door.
"I love Draco. Now shut the bleep up and bleep off!"
Draco stuck his head out the door. The door was now getting quite crowded. Moaning Myrtle had left in disgust seconds earlier.
"Severus, what are you doing in my mini-skirt?"
"Well Dracie-babes, I could ask the same of my fishnets. I thought Harry liked guys with nice buttocks"
"I'm…uh… sorry Professor." Harry broke in "M-me and Draco are engaged to be married…I'm pregnant with his child"
"I'll never lend you my fishnets again! 1000 points from Gryffindor!"
"But, I'm in Slytherin" Draco said.
"You're meant to love me, and I'm in Gryffindor!" Harry murmured, thinking he had spotted a flaw in the plot.
"Yes" said Snape wincing. "But I…the sausage incident…"
1
2
3
4 The Ultimate Harry Potter Romance
Second Chapter, different to the first, a little bit madder and a little bit worse.
Hermione searches for love…Again.
At the end of the last chapter, Ron had cruelly dumped Hermione and Hermione had professed her love for Draco. However, unknown to her, Draco and Harry were already an item, and they were now engaged. Harry is pregnant with Draco's child – Hermione is pregnant with Harry's. And so, the saga continues…
Moaning Myrtle floated through the wall of the bleeping girls' bleeping bogs, and laughed at the scene before her. Hermione had passed out with the shock, and Harry and Draco had taken this opportunity to…it was disgusting! They were…playing chess in her bathroom! How unhygienic!
"WHAT THE BLEEP DO YOU BLANKETY BLANKS THINK YOU'RE BLEEPING DOING PLAYING BLEEPING CHESS IN MY BLEEPING GIRLS BLEEPING BOGS?"
She looked down.
"That knight's horse has bleeped all over my floor!"
At that moment, Ginny walked in.
"Hermione, Ron told me…"
She saw Harry and Draco playing an end game with Harry only having three pieces left.
"DRACO! How could you play chess with him? I thought I was your only chess mate! Did last night mean nothing to you?"
Harry looked shocked.
"I wondered why you were late."
"Draco I LOVE you!" Yelled Ginny, before she realised that it was becoming cliché. "But you betrayed me. Y-You played chess with some-one else"
Ginny ran out, only to collide with Professor Snape, wearing a mini-skirt.
Snape had never disliked Ginny. It was only because of the sausage incident that had traumatised him, leaving an emotional scar, which would never cease to hurt him, that he despised all Gryffindor and made him treat them badly in Potions. And in the hall. And occasionally at dinner. And if he saw them out shopping a couple of hexes would never go amiss.
"TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR SEEING ME IN A MINI-SKIRT"
"B…but Sir…I'll remove my eyes, please don't take the points. We're already minus 2762 because you took them in Potions."
"Another ten points for being sensible"
"B…but Sir! Mr.Snape! Severus! Sevvie! Proffie! I – I…"
"What is it mudblood?"
"I'm a pureblood!"
"Sorry Herm – Ginny. Wishful thinking. What?"
" I love you!"
"YOU WHAT? 2762 points from Gryffindor for falling in love with an extremely attractive teacher. Wanna snog though?"
"Yeah, OK"
They were just sharing a chocolate frog when Hermione came round, and poked her head out of the door. Snape dropped Ginny (who was half his height) on Hermione's head.
"Hermione" Snape stammered "I know I'm not your sexual preference, but I wondered if you found me remotely attractive in a mini-skirt?"
"What? Why with the mini-skirt?"
"I…er…Aren't you a…um…lesbian?"
"Yes actually." Hermione pulled Ginny to her side. "I love Ginny"
"B…but" Ginny stuttered "I love Snape"
"I thought you loved Draco" Hermione replied.
"Yes. But then he played chess with some one else. Severus would never do that to me. I love Snape."
"But I love Harry" Snape declared.
Harry stuck his head out of the door.
"I love Draco. Now shut the bleep up and bleep off!"
Draco stuck his head out the door. The door was now getting quite crowded. Moaning Myrtle had left in disgust seconds earlier.
"Severus, what are you doing in my mini-skirt?"
"Well Dracie-babes, I could ask the same of my fishnets. I thought Harry liked guys with nice buttocks"
"I'm…uh… sorry Professor." Harry broke in "M-me and Draco are engaged to be married…I'm pregnant with his child"
"I'll never lend you my fishnets again! 1000 points from Gryffindor!"
"But, I'm in Slytherin" Draco said.
"You're meant to love me, and I'm in Gryffindor!" Harry murmured, thinking he had spotted a flaw in the plot.
"Yes" said Snape wincing. "But I…the sausage incident…"
