-Night World
Chapter Eleven
I was up early come Saturday morning. I was so excited about being able to see my friends that I couldn't sleep much, even after the ordeal with Draco and the dream. I tried to contact him through the crystal but I wasn't getting a response, which means he was heavily surrounded by evil and it would be too risky to try to connect with each other. I glanced at my bedside clock and noted that the student's going to Hogsmeade would be leaving within the hour. I hurried up and dressed in a pair of Muggle jeans and a green sweater. Over top I placed on my Hogwart's robes so as not to attract too much attention to myself. I picked up my black pack-back and hurried down the steps and to breakfast.
"So are you going to Hogsmeade with us Ginny?" Hermione asked as I took my seat across from the famous trio. Harry glanced over at me at the same time Hermione asked her question and gave what I noted as a curious and almost pleading look. I was confused and startled for a moment but hurriedly I explained that I had much to study for if I wanted to pass my O.W.L.S. this year. Homework was always Hermione's first priority and I knew she would accept my excuse without further question. However, Harry seemed a bit downcast at my news and for a moment I let myself think back to my innocent childhood days where I could do nothing more except dream that one day Harry would show interest in me. The thought was so ridiculous I nearly starting laughing out loud in front of the entire school! But oh to be that innocent again!
"I'm going to be in the library for most of the day I suspect. Maybe I'll take a break and visit Hagrid for a while." Now I never really knew Hagrid personally. A few times in the past Ron and company dragged me along for one of their afternoon chats, and of course there was always Care of Magical Creatures. But still he was a very likeable fellow and maybe if I did return early I would stop and say hi. Care of Magical Creatures was never my favorite class, but it was exciting to see all the different types of creatures that our world held. Sometimes I would find myself compare and contrasting Muggle creatures and Wizard ones. It was silly I know, but it helped to keep my mind from straying to unpleasant thoughts. It kept me sane.
"The carriages are leaving in a few minutes, we better hurry up guys." Ron exclaimed quickly and the trio, along with most of the upper classmen, left to go into town. I took that as my cue and hurried back up to the Gryffindor common room with my small bag of floo powder.
"To the Sinclair's residence." I said to the blazing fire. Minutes later I was standing in the living area of my very best friends. But something was wrong. The store was eerily quiet and all the lights, save one, were turned off. The place held a very potent and horrible smell and books were thrown heavily around the room, decorating the carpet all over. Yes something was very wrong indeed. And that's when I saw it.
At the bottom of the stairs a plumb figure was sprawled on her back and blood was pooled around her gray haired head. My stomach lurched as looked upon the face of Mrs. Sinclair and suddenly I just wanted to go back, go back and pretend I was not witnessing this hell.
But it was so real…and minutes later I glanced down to the front of the store where Mr. Sinclair laid quietly on his stomach curled up in a fetal position, blood dripping from a wound to his head.
"No, no you can't do this. You can't! You can't leave me here alone again!" I shouted to their lifeless bodies. Bile rose rapidly to my throat and I vomited heavily until I felt like my insides were being torn apart. And perhaps they were.
And that's when I saw the Dark Mark…
It just hung there on the shelves. Actually it was all over the place. As if the murderer was boasting this act and proving that "Yes I killed them, I am a follower of Voldemort and I killed these Muggles!"
"Such tragedy…did you know them well?" A voice asked from behind me. I turned around to face two strangers wearing black wizarding robes. From the looks of them I recognized them to be Aurors.
"They were my family." I whispered. I felt numb, unbelievably numb that I haven't experienced in years. This was worse than the neglect, worse than the rape, worse than the horrible nights I spent cutting my wrist hoping to bleed to death. This was the death of the only two people who have treated me as if I belonged, as if I was one of their own. They loved me, they truly loved me and I never once got to thank them for the years that they have helped me with my life. They were gone, and they weren't ever going to come back.
I walked like a zombie back to the fireplace. The two aurors tried to talk to me, tried to help. How could they? What could they do to help me? Could they bring back the life of two noble, honest, hard working and loving people? No! They couldn't! At that moment I hated life's unfairness, I hated how life took the ones that deserved to live and left on earth all of the evil and undeserving people, myself included. I didn't deserve their love, I didn't deserve anything they've ever done for me but they did it anyway and I was always so grateful. Why! Why is life so cruel!
The common room was deserted and I was thankful for that. I ran up to my dorm and quickly found what I needed, what always made things feel better. On my way to the Astronomy tower I ran into Professor Snape. He noticed the change in me, but I was thankful he only gave a polite nod and continued on his way past, most likely on his way to see Dumbledore.
The wind was biting today but the sun still shone brightly. I cursed its happy cheerful color. How could it be such a calm and sunny day? Two innocent, wonderful people were dead and yet the weather dares contradict that!
The silver blade in my palm brought me back to the problem at hand. I was beginning to feel again, I was beginning to feel the pain that life brings. I couldn't do that; it was a rule of mine now. Feel nothing, be numb. Beautiful numbness…
The blade sliced slowly across my upper wrist, just three inches down from my elbow on the sensitive inside of my skin. Oh it felt so wonderful! The pain, the physical pain was so rewarding I felt like this was truly heaven for I so sure I could feel the calm and serenity already. It was so…
"Ginny!" A voice shouted loudly. I was caught. I glanced down first and realized that I cut too deep. I didn't even remember it. It was deep and it hurt and there was blood.
"So much blood." The one Auror said to the other.
"Real shame, Muggles too. Quiet couple. Wonder why Voldemort wanted them silenced.
"Does he ever have his reasons."
"There's so much blood…" I whispered to the unknown person at the doorway of the tower.
"You promised…" The voice said before I fainted away. The last thing I remember was a shock of blonde hair and a pair of sad gray eyes.
'I'm sorry Draco…'
"I think she's coming around Professor."
"Draco?" I croaked. Gosh how my throat ached. I glanced around at the familiar faces. Draco was on my left holding my hand delicately in his own. Professor Snape and McGonagall were standing near the door, both with concerned but relieved looks on their stern faces. I glanced around to see if my brother and his friends were there. I wasn't shocked to see they weren't.
"You gave us quite a fright Miss Weasley." An all too familiar voice said from the foot of my bed. For the first time I noticed the appearance of Professor Dumbledore and suddenly I knew that things were going to get much worse before or if they ever got better.
"Would you excuse us for a moment?" Dumbledore addressed to the other people in the room. Draco was the last to leave, he didn't want to let go of my hand but a stern yet understanding look from Dumbledore finally convinced him. When Draco closed the door the Headmaster turned back to my bed once again.
He just stared for a moment. It was as if he was thinking of how he wanted to phrase things.
"Headmaster?" I asked him in a slight whisper, not trusting my voice at the moment.
"Life is too precious a thing to waste young Weasley. It may not be fair, and it may not always go the way you want it to, but one must learn to live with the precious gift that they were given. People die, our world has become once again fearful of the arising evil. It has been nearly 16 years since his reign of terror and no one on earth is safe. Your friends were good and caring people, I can see that from the way you mourn them and I am sorry for your loss. But life must never be wasted, it must be valued Miss Weasley. Many people out there are dying who want to live; you are one of the lucky ones. You were chosen by the hat to be in Gryffindor, and a wise choice it was for I can see the bravery and courage that you possess deep within…"
"But I wasn't chosen for Gryffindor! It wanted me in Slytherin!" I replied nearly shouting.
"It may have felt your skills would have been more valuable to Slytherin, but the hat never chooses wrong. If it truly wanted you to be in Slytherin, you would be. Now then on to more important matters. Madam Pomfrey has noticed that you hide more scars than just this recent one. I am not asking for you to tell me everything, for everyone is entitled to their privacy. But I cannot let another situation like this happen again Miss Weasley, you do understand that?"
I nodded slowly, my head bowed as if in prayer. What about my parents?
"Your parents will have to be notified, however, if it is your wish I will only tell them that you have had an accident and that it has been taken care of. Is that what you would like?" His blue eyes were no longer twinkling like they normally did. Instead they were dull and filled with what looked like pity.
No one understood, no one! I don't want their pity or their sympathy! I just want to be able to live, how I want to! Does no one understand!
"Yes, it was all an accident. I would appreciate that very much Headmaster." I whispered. Yes, just an accident. I accidentally let them find me. I accidentally didn't cut hard enough. I accidentally let myself live…somehow…
"I'm not sure how we are going to deal with this Miss Weasley. Something like this rarely occurs here at Hogwarts and Wizards, unlike Muggles, don't have many psychologists." He continued. I winced at the thought. I knew very well what a psychologist was, it was a head doctor. People would go to these doctors and talk about their problems and in turn given medications to stop anxiety attacks or relieve depression. Sure, that's all I needed right now, a doctor to tell me I was mentally incapable of anything. I can see the headlines now in Rita Skeeters article "Youngest Weasley Child Goes Crazy". And what about my family? What would they think? Percy would be ridiculed, Bill would be patronized and Charlie, well Charlie would be disappointed. I doubt Fred and George would care though, they don't care much about the family anymore. Family…My only true family was Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair and they were no doubt killed because of me. Rumor of our friendship must have leaked out and they were targeted. Oh why was I so stupid! Why didn't I think of the consequences! Two of the most important people in my life were brutally murdered because of my stupid mistake!
"Please Headmaster, I don't want to see anyone right now. I think…I think there is someone close by who can help. Two someone's actually, and they in their own way have been helping me in the recent past. I don't know why I relapsed the way I did but I understand it was wrong and I think I can trust those two people enough to talk to them, and they in turn can help me. I don't want a psychologist; I don't want to talk to someone who is paid to listen to my problems. I'd rather talk to someone who can understand and relate on a more…personal level. Do you understand?" He smiled then, the twinkling in his blue eyes was back and I felt a great relief being lifted off my shoulders. I was safe once again.
"I take these…someone's…are reliable and dependable. I trust your judgment Ginny, but if anything happens like this again I'm going to have to tell your parents the truth and send you to see someone professionally. Now, if I were you I'd get some rest and eat some of those lovely treats your peers have sent you. Good day Miss Weasley."
"Thank you Headmaster." I said as he walked out. A few minutes later I was fast asleep. I dreamed of black shadows, books, and a smiling couple waving happily at me from a billowy white cloud.
I woke up around dawn with a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach…Draco was a Death Eater…The Sinclair's were dead…
I was truly alone once again.
A/N: Thanks to all your great reviews…I truly appreciate it. I have a lot of work though coming up in the next few weeks (papers, tests, and finals) for college and I don't know how often I'll be updating. I will try to have at least one more chapter up by the time my winter break starts (Dec. 14th) but I can't promise anything. Thanks again!
~Kandimoon
