Why Does it Rain on Knockturn Alley?

Chapter Six: Insert Clever Chapter Title Here

"Score: Slytherin 40, Gryffindor 30. We really need to get Snape, and bad. We're losing, bad. This calls for drastic action." Sirius said to his friends.

"You can rely on Sirius to keep score on inter-house warfare. And how many of those have we started?" Remus said rolling his eyes.

"I'm more worried about what he means by drastic action." Peter added.

"Hey, we haven't lost that many fights, have we?" James remarked.

"Yes we have, not doing so well are we." Sirius said. "Snape knows more curses than half the seventh years, and has used most of them. We need to get back at him, now, but we need a plan."

"Let's die his hair purple." Peter suggested.

"Too unoriginal, we need something more dramatic." Sirius said.

"Let's hang his boxers from the top of the astronomy tower." James said.

"You would actually touch his boxers? Ick." Peter exclaimed.

"And we have to get into the Slytherin common room for that." Remus said. "What if we..."



***

Spring. Birds singing. Flowers blooming. And pollen floating everywhere, up my nose into my eyes and ^achoo^. On top of all this I have flying lessons outside with those annoying Gryffindors. James Potter and Sirius Black never miss a chance to show off on their brooms, and all their little friends are sitting below cheering them on and Hooch doesn't seem to mind. None of the teachers ever did.

"...The other side of the lake." What? This sounds intriguing. What was the fat slob whispering about?

"Yes, three o'clock, and Sirius will have the..."

"James look out." Good, trust, just when it gets interesting James Potter is about to run into a bird.

"But, Remus, isn't that illegal." Illegal... hmm. Lets see what happens when they get caught

***

"Are you sure you heard right?"

"For the last time Rebecca ^achoo^ Lupin, Black, Pettigrew and probably Potter are going to do something illegal, and I'm going to catch them on film. Now, stay on the lookout." If you want to get something done... but still this is going to be worth it.

"Okay, they're walking out, towards the Lake, they appear to be going around the shore, I can't see them anymore."

"I'll take a boat, and see if I can find them, ok, you just stay here and make sure no one comes looking around."

"Why can't I go too, Severus?" Because you will screw things up.

"Because I need someone on lookout." I get down into the boat and start rowing out.

"I don't believe he fell for it." Sirius Black said crawling out from behind a bush.

"Status Equilibrius." Remus Lupin took out his wand and pointed it at the boat. I started trying to row back to shore, but the boat wouldn't move.

"Petrificus Totalis" I yelled- pointing my wand at them, hoping to get back at them.

"We're even out of the Hex Range, Remus you are a genius" Peter said.

"Let's just keep him here, lost at sea." Sirius said. I glared at them, but was scared I wasn't going to get back.

"You going to send out a distress call, you know, an S..."

"Avianitus" Rebecca yelled at James Potter and he started sprouting feathers.

"Desidango" Sirius responded, while Lupin did jelly legs and Peter stared on in horror (scared of girls, I'll have to remember that one) causing her teeth to grow followed by her falling on her face...

"So you here protecting your boyfriend, Rabbit?" Sirius said, walking up to Rebecca, while Lupin was trying to cure Potter of his feathers.

"Furnunculous" Sirius sprouted fungus all over his body, as Rebecca, surprisingly waved her wand and hexed him.

***

"Let me back to shore, you idiots." I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"You'll stay out there as long as we want you too, Snape." Pettigrew yelled back, over the curse war, in which Rebecca was barely hanging in there, but still

dishing out as good as she could. Maybe she isn't as weak as she seems.

"Peter, shut the slimy git up." Sirius screamed at him, barely dodging a stunner from Rebecca's wand.

"What is going on here?" Cassius, and Lucius and a good many of the other prefects said as they ran down the lawn to see the commotion. "Stop these hexes."

They weren't listening and Lupin attempted to hit Rebecca with a yodeling charm. Cassius raised his wand.

"Finite Incantatum" all the hexes reversed, and everyone stopped and stared at the gathered prefects. "Potter, Lupin, Black and Pettigrew report to Professor

McGonnagal immediately, and fifty points from Gryffindor. Ms. Wilkes, report to Professor Parkinson and 15 points from Slytherin. Severus, what do you think you're doing in the middle of the lake?" Cassius was angry, and it seems as though I might be getting another howler, from Dad this time. The thought sent shivers down my spine. The prefects were whispering among themselves and Lucius had a strange smirk on his face, which meant this would probably be all over the school in hours.

"Cassius- Black, Lupin and Pettigrew were going to..." I look down, because my feet tell me the boat is no longer underneath. Damn them, they must have set this boat up to sink. I try to keep my head above the water, but my robes keep pulling me down. Slowly, I make my way to the shore. When I come out, all the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff prefects as well as all the Ravenclaw prefects other than my brother are laughing their heads off.

"I'll go to Professor Parkinson's office now." I say to Cassius then run up to the castle.

***

I'm going to kill them. I lost thirty points for my house, have to buy a new boat and serve three detentions, as well as being made a laughingstock in front of the school, and I didn't even do anything to deserve it.

^Achoo^

"Would you like a towel to dry off with?" I look up and see Lucius holding out a towel. Now what is his game?

"Thag you berry buch." I say.

"Come and sit by the fire" He must be mad, only seventh years can get the chairs by the fire. "And we can discuss how to get them back for this." He wants to help me? Why? But, then again, they will never know what hit them.

"Ok."





A/N: Chapter six finally here. Lucius is by no means out of character; there are subtle hints in there if you're worried.

Honor role (for you reviewers): Carolyn Greyfox, Blackletter (glad you approved, I just thought your name fit a messenger real well), Juliana Black

Disclaimer: JKR and her associates own Snape, his friend's last names, Hogwarts, the marauders ECT. Don't send money.