Title: Heaven Has No Rage
Author: Josephine
Rating: R
Summary: An old flame of Malcolm's POV
Note: Angst
Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome; it will do more good than flames.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the Trek dance hall; I sometimes like to call the steps.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. – William Congreve
I see you with her, walking the corridors, head bent to catch her words. Laughing, smiling at her. As if she was the only one who ever made you feel that way. What about me, Malcolm? I used to be the one who made you laugh and smile like that.
They warned me about you, teased and said you were a heartbreaker. Not Malcolm, I thought. Not sweet, shy, Malcolm. You were so attentive, dinner each night, almost every weekend together. You made me feel wanted, desired, you brought romance into my life; I thought it would last forever. You promised it would last forever. Leaving you after the Jupiter mission was the hardest thing I ever did. I thought you felt the same. Apparently I was wrong.
We kept in touch, but your letters became impersonal, then sporadic, finally they stopped. I made excuses for you; we were stationed so far away from each other, you were busy getting the bugs out of the new photon torpedo. But you never came to visit when you went on leave, and the few times I was in Sydney you were always too wrapped up with that damned torpedo to even go out to dinner. You weren't too busy to date all those women. Did you think I'd never know? Did you think I wouldn't care you were with them when you should have been with me?
When I found out we were both assigned to the Enterprise, I thought we would pick up where we left off. I saw you in the corridor, but you were cool, distant. Like I was something you'd rather forget. Did you think I would forget? I haven't forgotten anything, especially the promises you made to me in the dark. Do you remember the dark, Malcolm? All the things we whispered to each other, all the twisted things we did to each other? Has she seen the scars on your back? Have you told her the truth of how you got them? Do you dare tell her the truth?
Her. Mousy little Lieutenant j.g. Elizabeth Cutler. For God's sake, Malcolm, she's a Xenoentomologist! What could you possibly have in common? Maybe she brings you alien ants to fry with a magnifying glass. You always did like destroying things; you're very good at it. I suddenly have the urge to destroy also, Malcolm. Oh, don't worry, it won't be anything as clichéd as 'If I can't have you, neither will she'. She's not the issue right now, Malcolm. If it weren't her, it would be someone else. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life going after your girlfriends. I'm thinking along the lines of 'If I can't have you, then no one will'. Emphasis on the YOU, Malcolm; I'm going after the source.
No more tears now; I will think upon revenge. – Mary, Queen of Scots