"What are these? These tears I cry now? Who I am I? I am Rei. I am Ayanami."
"Rei?" A voice calls out from a distance. "Ikari? Do I wish to become one with Ikari?
Ikari Shinji?" "Rei?." The voice calls again. "I am Ayanami Rei. Who am I?" "Rei?" The
voice repeats "Rei?"
A young girl glances up from her book, "Yes?" she answers, "I am Rei.", she says
softly. A young boy by the name of Ikari Shinji walks towards her, "Rei? I would like to
ask you something." Shinji says. Rei looks back down at her book, "Yes, what is it you
would like to speak with me about Ikari?" She asks as she stares down at the pages.
"Rei?" Shinji begins, "Why do you pilot your EVA? Why do you pilot the EVANGELION
if it always tries to destroy you?" Shinji stared at Rei intently awaiting the answer.
Rei looks up at him from her book, "I pilot the EVA for the same reason as you,
Ikari." Shinji gave a look of wonder, "What is that reason, Rei?". Rei answered tensely, "I
pilot for the sake of Commander Gendo Ikari." Shinji made a face of disgust, "My father?!
You pilot the EVA for my father?! You do everything for him!" Shinji yelled. Rei stood
up and faced Shinji," I will do anything for Commander Ikari." Shinji looked into her
lifeless glare. "Would you die for him if he asked you?!" He growled at her menacingly.
Rei slapped Shinji across the face. "If you had any respect for your father you would
understand my motives!" Shinji reeled and glared back at her, the side of his face red and
beginning to swell. "You don't know him like I do Rei! If you had been abandoned by him
at a young age you would understand my pain!" He raised his hand to her but then noticed
the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Rei?" He asked. "Rei, are - are you OK?" Shinji
repeated. Rei turned around and put her hand on her shoulder. "It's you who will never
understand Ikari. You will never understand your father as I do." Rei picked her book off
of the bench and walked away. Shinji realized his hand was still in the air, he lowered it
and whispered after Rei, "I am sorry dear Ayanami, please forgive the memories and pain
that I have of my father." He turned and walked away slowly.
::Later that day in class::
Touji pulled his lunch sack slowly out of his school bag "another day of class,
another day to feast." Touji licked his lips as he pulled out his tempura. "mmmmmm, looks
like a good meal today." Shinji pulled out his lunch and teasingly told Touji "Misato
doesn't really go for guys who pig out on food, Touji." Touji put down his meal." A man
who eats is strong and healthy to care for the woman he loves." he said back to Shinji.
The Class Representative, Horaki Hikari, walked up to Touji, "H-hello Touji."
Well, if it isn't the class rep." Touji answered her. The class representative held up a
sacked lunch, "You said you are always to busy to make your own lunch, so I thought you
would like this one I made." Touji looked at her, "Don't you need a lunch?" The class
representative answered, "I always make too much food for my family and we can never
finish it all. So I thought I'd bring the extra with me today and I was wondering if you
would like it, Touji." Touji looked up at her with his cheeks a slight shade of pink," Uh,
thank you, Hikari. I will try to make you something sometime." Hikari looked at him and
smiled, " It was my pleasure Touji, I don't need anything back." She walked away over
towards Sohryu Asuka Langley, looked over her shoulder and sat down next to her. "I
gave my extra lunch to Touji." She told Asuka. Asuka asked with disgust, "Do you really
like that moron?" The class rep. answered, "Yes, something about his loving compassion
toward his sister makes me like him. I don't know anyone else in this world who would be
that kind and devoted to a loved one, especially a younger sibling."
Asuka looks at her profile in awe, "He is a stooge like the rest of them you know!
Shinji, Touji and Kensuke they are all stooges! " Hikari answered her," He may be a
stooge, but he is sweet and kind. I bet you couldn't find a sweeter guy, too bad he likes
Misato so much." Asuka said with an annoyed tone, "Yeah but Misato has my dear Kaji's
heart! To tell you the truth, they haven't talked in a while. But he keeps leaving messages
and Misato listens to them and then deletes them." Asuka threw her hands into the air." I
don't get those two at all! " The class rep. said cheerfully, "No one will ever get them
Asuka." Hikari smiled and started eating her lunch. Asuka looked at her again and ate her
lunch along side her.
::Later that day::
Shinji was lying on his mat, listening to his tape recorder as he always did when
Misato walked into his room. "Hello Misato." Shinji said. "Hello Shinji." Misato replied.
Shinji looked at her "What brings you here?" Misato looked as if she had been through a
rough day, "Well Shinji, to tell you the truth, I have some rather disturbing news to tell
you." Shinji looked surprised and sat up facing Misato's gloomy face. "Mi-Misato? What
is it? What's wrong?! " Shinji gave a look of concern, "Misato? What is it? Tell me."
Shinji stared at Misato waiting the news. But it never came. Misato just sat there looking
at Shinji and trying to smiles at him. "Please Misato, tell me. Is this urgent?" Shinji
pleaded for the answer. Misato finally opened her mouth and let out a small groan. She
looked at Shinji and offered her hand to him. "Misato, I don't understand. What's
wrong?" Shinji asked once more. Misato looked at him as a single tear rolled down her
cheek. "Dear Shinji," She said as she revealed a small cross that she had been holding
inside of the hand she had offered.
"I would like you to have this Shinji." Misato dropped the small cross into his
hand. "Misato, I still don't understand." Shinji told her as he held the cross. Misato stood
up and looked at him, "Please remember me Shinji." Shinji stared at her as tears formed in
his eyes. "Mi-Misato! Wh-what do you mean by remember me?! Where am I going?!
Where are you going?! " Shinji gave a look of fear and anger, his face mangled with
emotions. "Misato?! " Misato turned and walked out his room and through the door.
Shinji watched as the door vanished behind Misato and he found himself lying cold in the
street as he remembered how his father had abandoned him. He saw his life, his mother,
his father, his pain and fears. He then found himself speaking with the young Shinji, and
beside the young shadowed Shinji sat Ayanami. Shinji looked at Rei as tears streamed
down her face. "Rei?" He asked, "Rei? Are you all right Rei?" Shinji then felt pain and
pressure build up on the side of his face. He looked at Rei and said to her "Rei? Have I
done this? Have I caused this pain that you feel?" Rei looked at him and offered her hand
to him. Shinji looked and found a tiny marble in the center of her palm. "Rei?" Shinji said
as her leaned forward to hug her. "Ikari Shinji, remember me" Rei slowly vanished as
Shinji held her. "Rei?! " Shinji cried.
The young Shinji looked at the face of his future self. "Ikari Shinji?" Shinji looked
at his former self. "What do you want? Why are you doing this to me?! " Shinji reached
for the young Shinji. " Are you doing this to me?! " Shinji's hand went through the young
Shinji's body. "Do not harm me." He said, " I am your subconscious, I am the Shinji that
lived before Ikari Yui disappeared. I am the dormant Shinji inside of yourself." Shinji
looked at the child. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" The younger Shinji
answered him " you are only a living capsule that walks, talks, thinks and breaths. While I
am the true Shinji, sleeping inside of you. I am the Shinji that lives on as you carry me."
Shinji looked at his younger form once more. "I - I don't understand what you mean.
What about Ayanami? What about Misato? What about every one? Why have you brought
me here?! " Shinji screamed at the child. Shinji answered " I have brought you here to tell
you why Misato left you. To tell you why Ayanami has left you, and too tell you what
your roll in life is." Shinji yelled at the small Shinji " There is no point in living my life! All
I do is pilot the EVANGELION! I have no other purpose! The only reason my father took
me back was because he wanted me to pilot the EVA! " Shinji paused, " If this is my
purpose, I have no reason to live." Shinji looked at his future self. " But there is a reason
for me to live, Maybe you don't want to continue this life. But I do. I want to live. You
can't stop running, you must stop and face your fears, Shinji."
The voice of Yui Ikari filled Shinji's mind. "Mother?" Shinji called out. "Mother,
please take me. Don't leave me again." Yui came to Shinji and held him. "Dear son, why is
your life not worth living? Look at everything around you, not just what is in front of
you." Shinji looked at his mother and felt his soul raise from his body. "Take me with you!
Don't leave me here! Don't leave me with father! Mother! " Shinji called out. Yui stepped
back and looked at Shinji. "Stay here dear son, you do have a purpose. Don't think this
life is not worth living. Because it is." Shinji looked at her with a tear stained face. Tears
rolled down his cheeks. "Don't leave me again mother, please don't leave me again." Yui
stepped toward him and said, "Dear son, in due time I will tell you why you pilot your
EVANGELION. I created them and disappeared into them." She knelt down and kissed
his forehead. "All in due time my son." Light surrounded them. "Mother no! " Shinji cried
out. Yui disappeared with the rest of the scene and Shinji found himself lying in the bed of
a hospital.
Shinji felt that his life had some how changed. He looked around the room "A
different ceiling," He thought "Always a different ceiling. Always a different room. When
will I stop moving? When will the ceiling stay the same? It smells like blood, I hate that
smell. When will it not smell like blood, like the blood of death? The blood of an angel?
The enemy, the angels are our enemies. But why? Why our enemies? Why are they against
us?" He looked to his side and found Misato's head face down resting on her hands. He
looked at her, it seemed as if she was sleeping. Shinji looked to his other side and found
Ayanami looking at him and smiling. "Ayanami?" Shinji questioned. Rei looked down at
him and smiles once more. "What happened Ayanami?" Shinji asked. Rei knelt down and
held Shinji. "Dear Shinji," She said "Don't ever leave again." Rei held him tightly. Shinji
thought to himself again. "Rei is acting human. She is smiling and now holding me." Shinji
put his arms around Re's frail body. "I promise I will never leave again dear Ayanami."
Tears streamed down Rei's face when she heard these words come from Shinji. "Do you
still have it Ikari?" Rei asked quietly. "Have what?" Shinji replied. "Do you still have my
heart?" Rei questioned Shinji. "You heart?" Shinji felt something clutched in his hand, he
opened it and found a small silver sphere. Shinji looked at Rei, " Rei? Was it a dream?"
Rei looked at him, "Only if you believe that it was a dream." Shinji held the sphere as it
turned into a glimmering band of light. "Take this dear Ayanami, it will be a sign that this
night we have spent together was real." Rei took the band and placed it on her finger. "
Shinji? Is this your energy I feel now?" Rei asked silently. "It is the energy of your heart
trying to awaken mine dear Ayanami." Shinji replied. Rei then kissed Shinji and held him
tighter. Shinji pulled out of the kiss. "Remember this night dear Ayanami." He told her,
"Remember this night and our hearts shall both awaken from their deep slumbers as they
rest in our unconsciousness."
"These tears I cry now? Do they come from me? Are they really mine? Or are they
Ikari Shinji's?" Rei tossed in her bed. She opened her eyes and woke from a restless sleep.
"A dream? I gave my heart to Ikari in a dream? Or...." Rei peered down at her hand. A
thin shining band of light was wrapped around her finger. "Or was it the reality inside a
dream?" Rei turned on her side. "Ikari?" Rei thought aloud. "Ikari are you telling me the
truth? Telling me the truth about my heart? About yours? Will we awaken from this
eternal sleep that binds us? Or shall we die, not knowing what it feels like to be free from
the entrapment?" Rei turned to the wall. "I wish to wake but I don't know if I am strong
enough. For I am the third of our lives. I am only a figment of imagination. Created for the
soul purpose of piloting the EVA. My heart and my soul is the same as the soul has been
passed from the original Ayanami Rei. I am awakening more every day. Ikari? Will you
help me? Will you help me free my soul into the original Rei's body, the original life-force
of all the bodies of Ayanami Rei ? Please dear Ikari, help us, help me, to be free. From the
misery that holds me to this body. Free me of the memories I have. Free me of the pain I
have had in the past. I want to be free once more, free in my body. Free in Rei's body. Not
in this lifeless puppet created to be destroyed and replaced by another. Help me Ikari. Help
me. Ikari."
Rei turned over once again to see Ikari Shinji sitting next to her bed. "Ikari?" Rei
asked. "Is that you?" The figure was made of light and was staring blankly at Rei. "I am
Ikari Shinji. I am the spirit of his reality. I am his life, Shinji's hollow heart rejects me. He
is but a puppet carrying a dormant soul, just as you are Rei." The spirit of Shinji leaned
over Rei. "I will free you. Ikari Shinji will free you. He will take your heart and soul back
to it's original holder. You will be alive once more Rei. Your spirit has not yet seen the
sky. You have never been able to hear a bird sing its sweet melody. You will never feel,
you will never hear, you will never taste or smell, you will never see until your soul has
been freed. And I shall help you." Rei looked at him. " It's true, I cannot see the color of
the sky, the sweet sounds of a fountain, the taste of a fruit that has just been picked. I have
never enjoyed them. Will you help me get them back Ikari?" Rei looked at the spirit. "Why
have you left Ikari Shinji?" Rei waited. The spirit of Shinji answered, "I left Ikari Shinji's
body the day Ikari Yui disappeared into the EVANGELIONs. Shinji is just like you. A
lifeless puppet who feels affection at his masters will." The spirit looked at Rei. "Will you
help free Shinji's mind so I can reenter my domain? I have tried myself, but, I cant
convince him to take me in. Ikari Yui's spirit has also been trying to help. The closest we
got to Ikari Shinji's mind and body was when he was taken into the EVA and became one
with it." Rei looked at him. "I will help you dear Ikari Shinji. I will help you get back to
Ikari Shinji's body." The spirit thanked Rei and left. Rei thought "To free Ikari, I must
free myself. But how? How shall I do this? Only the life force of Ikari Shinji can save me.
And only the life force of Ayanami Rei can free Ikari Shinji. This will be hard and painful
for both of us." Rei looked at the glowing band around her finger, "My heart. He saved
my heart, he can save my soul." Rei closed her eyes and fell back to her restless dreams of
freedom.
"Rei?" A voice calls out from a distance. "Ikari? Do I wish to become one with Ikari?
Ikari Shinji?" "Rei?." The voice calls again. "I am Ayanami Rei. Who am I?" "Rei?" The
voice repeats "Rei?"
A young girl glances up from her book, "Yes?" she answers, "I am Rei.", she says
softly. A young boy by the name of Ikari Shinji walks towards her, "Rei? I would like to
ask you something." Shinji says. Rei looks back down at her book, "Yes, what is it you
would like to speak with me about Ikari?" She asks as she stares down at the pages.
"Rei?" Shinji begins, "Why do you pilot your EVA? Why do you pilot the EVANGELION
if it always tries to destroy you?" Shinji stared at Rei intently awaiting the answer.
Rei looks up at him from her book, "I pilot the EVA for the same reason as you,
Ikari." Shinji gave a look of wonder, "What is that reason, Rei?". Rei answered tensely, "I
pilot for the sake of Commander Gendo Ikari." Shinji made a face of disgust, "My father?!
You pilot the EVA for my father?! You do everything for him!" Shinji yelled. Rei stood
up and faced Shinji," I will do anything for Commander Ikari." Shinji looked into her
lifeless glare. "Would you die for him if he asked you?!" He growled at her menacingly.
Rei slapped Shinji across the face. "If you had any respect for your father you would
understand my motives!" Shinji reeled and glared back at her, the side of his face red and
beginning to swell. "You don't know him like I do Rei! If you had been abandoned by him
at a young age you would understand my pain!" He raised his hand to her but then noticed
the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Rei?" He asked. "Rei, are - are you OK?" Shinji
repeated. Rei turned around and put her hand on her shoulder. "It's you who will never
understand Ikari. You will never understand your father as I do." Rei picked her book off
of the bench and walked away. Shinji realized his hand was still in the air, he lowered it
and whispered after Rei, "I am sorry dear Ayanami, please forgive the memories and pain
that I have of my father." He turned and walked away slowly.
::Later that day in class::
Touji pulled his lunch sack slowly out of his school bag "another day of class,
another day to feast." Touji licked his lips as he pulled out his tempura. "mmmmmm, looks
like a good meal today." Shinji pulled out his lunch and teasingly told Touji "Misato
doesn't really go for guys who pig out on food, Touji." Touji put down his meal." A man
who eats is strong and healthy to care for the woman he loves." he said back to Shinji.
The Class Representative, Horaki Hikari, walked up to Touji, "H-hello Touji."
Well, if it isn't the class rep." Touji answered her. The class representative held up a
sacked lunch, "You said you are always to busy to make your own lunch, so I thought you
would like this one I made." Touji looked at her, "Don't you need a lunch?" The class
representative answered, "I always make too much food for my family and we can never
finish it all. So I thought I'd bring the extra with me today and I was wondering if you
would like it, Touji." Touji looked up at her with his cheeks a slight shade of pink," Uh,
thank you, Hikari. I will try to make you something sometime." Hikari looked at him and
smiled, " It was my pleasure Touji, I don't need anything back." She walked away over
towards Sohryu Asuka Langley, looked over her shoulder and sat down next to her. "I
gave my extra lunch to Touji." She told Asuka. Asuka asked with disgust, "Do you really
like that moron?" The class rep. answered, "Yes, something about his loving compassion
toward his sister makes me like him. I don't know anyone else in this world who would be
that kind and devoted to a loved one, especially a younger sibling."
Asuka looks at her profile in awe, "He is a stooge like the rest of them you know!
Shinji, Touji and Kensuke they are all stooges! " Hikari answered her," He may be a
stooge, but he is sweet and kind. I bet you couldn't find a sweeter guy, too bad he likes
Misato so much." Asuka said with an annoyed tone, "Yeah but Misato has my dear Kaji's
heart! To tell you the truth, they haven't talked in a while. But he keeps leaving messages
and Misato listens to them and then deletes them." Asuka threw her hands into the air." I
don't get those two at all! " The class rep. said cheerfully, "No one will ever get them
Asuka." Hikari smiled and started eating her lunch. Asuka looked at her again and ate her
lunch along side her.
::Later that day::
Shinji was lying on his mat, listening to his tape recorder as he always did when
Misato walked into his room. "Hello Misato." Shinji said. "Hello Shinji." Misato replied.
Shinji looked at her "What brings you here?" Misato looked as if she had been through a
rough day, "Well Shinji, to tell you the truth, I have some rather disturbing news to tell
you." Shinji looked surprised and sat up facing Misato's gloomy face. "Mi-Misato? What
is it? What's wrong?! " Shinji gave a look of concern, "Misato? What is it? Tell me."
Shinji stared at Misato waiting the news. But it never came. Misato just sat there looking
at Shinji and trying to smiles at him. "Please Misato, tell me. Is this urgent?" Shinji
pleaded for the answer. Misato finally opened her mouth and let out a small groan. She
looked at Shinji and offered her hand to him. "Misato, I don't understand. What's
wrong?" Shinji asked once more. Misato looked at him as a single tear rolled down her
cheek. "Dear Shinji," She said as she revealed a small cross that she had been holding
inside of the hand she had offered.
"I would like you to have this Shinji." Misato dropped the small cross into his
hand. "Misato, I still don't understand." Shinji told her as he held the cross. Misato stood
up and looked at him, "Please remember me Shinji." Shinji stared at her as tears formed in
his eyes. "Mi-Misato! Wh-what do you mean by remember me?! Where am I going?!
Where are you going?! " Shinji gave a look of fear and anger, his face mangled with
emotions. "Misato?! " Misato turned and walked out his room and through the door.
Shinji watched as the door vanished behind Misato and he found himself lying cold in the
street as he remembered how his father had abandoned him. He saw his life, his mother,
his father, his pain and fears. He then found himself speaking with the young Shinji, and
beside the young shadowed Shinji sat Ayanami. Shinji looked at Rei as tears streamed
down her face. "Rei?" He asked, "Rei? Are you all right Rei?" Shinji then felt pain and
pressure build up on the side of his face. He looked at Rei and said to her "Rei? Have I
done this? Have I caused this pain that you feel?" Rei looked at him and offered her hand
to him. Shinji looked and found a tiny marble in the center of her palm. "Rei?" Shinji said
as her leaned forward to hug her. "Ikari Shinji, remember me" Rei slowly vanished as
Shinji held her. "Rei?! " Shinji cried.
The young Shinji looked at the face of his future self. "Ikari Shinji?" Shinji looked
at his former self. "What do you want? Why are you doing this to me?! " Shinji reached
for the young Shinji. " Are you doing this to me?! " Shinji's hand went through the young
Shinji's body. "Do not harm me." He said, " I am your subconscious, I am the Shinji that
lived before Ikari Yui disappeared. I am the dormant Shinji inside of yourself." Shinji
looked at the child. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" The younger Shinji
answered him " you are only a living capsule that walks, talks, thinks and breaths. While I
am the true Shinji, sleeping inside of you. I am the Shinji that lives on as you carry me."
Shinji looked at his younger form once more. "I - I don't understand what you mean.
What about Ayanami? What about Misato? What about every one? Why have you brought
me here?! " Shinji screamed at the child. Shinji answered " I have brought you here to tell
you why Misato left you. To tell you why Ayanami has left you, and too tell you what
your roll in life is." Shinji yelled at the small Shinji " There is no point in living my life! All
I do is pilot the EVANGELION! I have no other purpose! The only reason my father took
me back was because he wanted me to pilot the EVA! " Shinji paused, " If this is my
purpose, I have no reason to live." Shinji looked at his future self. " But there is a reason
for me to live, Maybe you don't want to continue this life. But I do. I want to live. You
can't stop running, you must stop and face your fears, Shinji."
The voice of Yui Ikari filled Shinji's mind. "Mother?" Shinji called out. "Mother,
please take me. Don't leave me again." Yui came to Shinji and held him. "Dear son, why is
your life not worth living? Look at everything around you, not just what is in front of
you." Shinji looked at his mother and felt his soul raise from his body. "Take me with you!
Don't leave me here! Don't leave me with father! Mother! " Shinji called out. Yui stepped
back and looked at Shinji. "Stay here dear son, you do have a purpose. Don't think this
life is not worth living. Because it is." Shinji looked at her with a tear stained face. Tears
rolled down his cheeks. "Don't leave me again mother, please don't leave me again." Yui
stepped toward him and said, "Dear son, in due time I will tell you why you pilot your
EVANGELION. I created them and disappeared into them." She knelt down and kissed
his forehead. "All in due time my son." Light surrounded them. "Mother no! " Shinji cried
out. Yui disappeared with the rest of the scene and Shinji found himself lying in the bed of
a hospital.
Shinji felt that his life had some how changed. He looked around the room "A
different ceiling," He thought "Always a different ceiling. Always a different room. When
will I stop moving? When will the ceiling stay the same? It smells like blood, I hate that
smell. When will it not smell like blood, like the blood of death? The blood of an angel?
The enemy, the angels are our enemies. But why? Why our enemies? Why are they against
us?" He looked to his side and found Misato's head face down resting on her hands. He
looked at her, it seemed as if she was sleeping. Shinji looked to his other side and found
Ayanami looking at him and smiling. "Ayanami?" Shinji questioned. Rei looked down at
him and smiles once more. "What happened Ayanami?" Shinji asked. Rei knelt down and
held Shinji. "Dear Shinji," She said "Don't ever leave again." Rei held him tightly. Shinji
thought to himself again. "Rei is acting human. She is smiling and now holding me." Shinji
put his arms around Re's frail body. "I promise I will never leave again dear Ayanami."
Tears streamed down Rei's face when she heard these words come from Shinji. "Do you
still have it Ikari?" Rei asked quietly. "Have what?" Shinji replied. "Do you still have my
heart?" Rei questioned Shinji. "You heart?" Shinji felt something clutched in his hand, he
opened it and found a small silver sphere. Shinji looked at Rei, " Rei? Was it a dream?"
Rei looked at him, "Only if you believe that it was a dream." Shinji held the sphere as it
turned into a glimmering band of light. "Take this dear Ayanami, it will be a sign that this
night we have spent together was real." Rei took the band and placed it on her finger. "
Shinji? Is this your energy I feel now?" Rei asked silently. "It is the energy of your heart
trying to awaken mine dear Ayanami." Shinji replied. Rei then kissed Shinji and held him
tighter. Shinji pulled out of the kiss. "Remember this night dear Ayanami." He told her,
"Remember this night and our hearts shall both awaken from their deep slumbers as they
rest in our unconsciousness."
"These tears I cry now? Do they come from me? Are they really mine? Or are they
Ikari Shinji's?" Rei tossed in her bed. She opened her eyes and woke from a restless sleep.
"A dream? I gave my heart to Ikari in a dream? Or...." Rei peered down at her hand. A
thin shining band of light was wrapped around her finger. "Or was it the reality inside a
dream?" Rei turned on her side. "Ikari?" Rei thought aloud. "Ikari are you telling me the
truth? Telling me the truth about my heart? About yours? Will we awaken from this
eternal sleep that binds us? Or shall we die, not knowing what it feels like to be free from
the entrapment?" Rei turned to the wall. "I wish to wake but I don't know if I am strong
enough. For I am the third of our lives. I am only a figment of imagination. Created for the
soul purpose of piloting the EVA. My heart and my soul is the same as the soul has been
passed from the original Ayanami Rei. I am awakening more every day. Ikari? Will you
help me? Will you help me free my soul into the original Rei's body, the original life-force
of all the bodies of Ayanami Rei ? Please dear Ikari, help us, help me, to be free. From the
misery that holds me to this body. Free me of the memories I have. Free me of the pain I
have had in the past. I want to be free once more, free in my body. Free in Rei's body. Not
in this lifeless puppet created to be destroyed and replaced by another. Help me Ikari. Help
me. Ikari."
Rei turned over once again to see Ikari Shinji sitting next to her bed. "Ikari?" Rei
asked. "Is that you?" The figure was made of light and was staring blankly at Rei. "I am
Ikari Shinji. I am the spirit of his reality. I am his life, Shinji's hollow heart rejects me. He
is but a puppet carrying a dormant soul, just as you are Rei." The spirit of Shinji leaned
over Rei. "I will free you. Ikari Shinji will free you. He will take your heart and soul back
to it's original holder. You will be alive once more Rei. Your spirit has not yet seen the
sky. You have never been able to hear a bird sing its sweet melody. You will never feel,
you will never hear, you will never taste or smell, you will never see until your soul has
been freed. And I shall help you." Rei looked at him. " It's true, I cannot see the color of
the sky, the sweet sounds of a fountain, the taste of a fruit that has just been picked. I have
never enjoyed them. Will you help me get them back Ikari?" Rei looked at the spirit. "Why
have you left Ikari Shinji?" Rei waited. The spirit of Shinji answered, "I left Ikari Shinji's
body the day Ikari Yui disappeared into the EVANGELIONs. Shinji is just like you. A
lifeless puppet who feels affection at his masters will." The spirit looked at Rei. "Will you
help free Shinji's mind so I can reenter my domain? I have tried myself, but, I cant
convince him to take me in. Ikari Yui's spirit has also been trying to help. The closest we
got to Ikari Shinji's mind and body was when he was taken into the EVA and became one
with it." Rei looked at him. "I will help you dear Ikari Shinji. I will help you get back to
Ikari Shinji's body." The spirit thanked Rei and left. Rei thought "To free Ikari, I must
free myself. But how? How shall I do this? Only the life force of Ikari Shinji can save me.
And only the life force of Ayanami Rei can free Ikari Shinji. This will be hard and painful
for both of us." Rei looked at the glowing band around her finger, "My heart. He saved
my heart, he can save my soul." Rei closed her eyes and fell back to her restless dreams of
freedom.
