Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake
yourself, and go on again. – Evelyn Underhill
It's been 3 months since I first saw her again. I tried to keep my face even,
but the shock must have shown. She spoke to me, I think I replied, but my mind
is a blank. I know I escaped as soon as I could. I can't believe she's here. On
the Enterprise. Although I shouldn't, she's a bloody good engineer. Archer
wanted only the best.
When I first met her I had no idea of what she was like. She looked so normal,
how could I have known what a black core she really had. At first it seemed
harmless, but each 'Have you ever tried …' pulled me deeper into her warped,
sick little world. She was a genius at hiding it from people; I'm not surprised
that she fooled the psych evaluation to get into Starfleet.
I cringe when I look back on the weeks I spent under her spell. It wasn't long
before I was in over my head. She was so possessive; I had to be with her every
moment we weren't on duty. Each time I would get enough backbone to break it
off, she would go into her weeping passive-aggressive mode and I would lose my
nerve. Yeah, me, Malcolm Reed, trained for all sorts of combat, ready for
capture, interrogation, any kind of mind games at an enemy's hands. But none of
that prepared you for dating a psychotic sadist, did it now, Malcolm?
I realized the only way I was going to get out of that destructive relationship
was reassignment after our project was over. I asked for Sydney because I knew
there was nothing for her there. Distance finally gave me the backbone to be
busy when she was in town or have other plans when I went on leave. I know I
was being passive-aggressive myself, and I'm not proud of the way I handled it.
I've always been an introvert, having a father who's a total control freak will
do that to you.
Maybe that's why it was so easy to get involved with her. She's the same
personality type as my Dad; it's what I know, what I was used to. My old
roommate at the Academy said that's the reason I got into weaponry; it gave me
the excuse to be aggressive without being personally accountable. Psych majors,
what do they know.
And now she's here. I'm going to have to tell Archer about our background, but
certainly not the whole story. She's not going to pull me in this time. I'm not
some green Ensign, I'm the Armory Officer on the Starship Enterprise, hand
picked by the Captain. I have friends now, and the bottle to stand up to her
manipulative ways. And maybe to do a couple of pre- emptive strikes.
Courage in danger is half the battle. - Titus Plautus
