Sam Discovers PMS
"GET OUT DAMNIT!!!!" Rosie shouted. Sam ran out the house, or rather the hobbit hole and went to the fields. He sighed with relief and slowed down to a walk. "I STILL SEE YOU SAM!!!!" Rosie shouted. She threw a pan at him and he ran even faster. He ran smack into someone and they both screamed. "Oh, Strider, it's only you." Sam said panting. "Hey Sam," he said panting too. Sam stopped and looked at Strider. "Wait, what are you doing here? Did you run all the way from Gondor?" Sam asked. Aragorn looked around cautiously and grabbed Sam's hand. He pulled him into a bush and he signaled for Sam to be quiet. "What's wrong?" Sam whispered. Aragorn sighed with relief and leaned against a tree. "Is it Sauron?" he asked. Aragon went pale. "Even worse…" he said. Sam looked alarmed. "What?" he asked. "It's, its Arwen." He said. He looked around again and looked at Sam who was evidently puzzled. "Why? What's wrong with Arwen?" Aragorn was catching his breath and Sam gasped. "You found her with Legolas? I thought so, I knew she wouldn't last, he's so hot even I---" Sam stopped as he caught Aragorn staring at her with a weird expression on his face. "Uh…never mind." He said looking away.
"She's having that girl thing…" Aragorn said. Sam looked at him. "Girl thing?" he asked. "Don't you know?" Aragorn asked. Sam shook his head. "Ohhh…that thing…when the casserole just doesn't cut it and she's---" "Not that thing." Aragorn said. "Was it the soup?" he asked. "Not the soup." Aragorn said through gritted teeth. "Something wrong with your teeth?" Sam asked. Aragorn slapped his fore head. "Is it a bug?" Sam asked. Aragorn got up and screamed:" DON'T YOU HOBBITS KNOW ANYTHING???" Sam looked at Aragorn. "Are you alright?" he asked. Aragorn fell face down and sighed. "I'm fine Sam…listen, do you know what menstruation is?" he asked. Sam shook his head. "Well it's when…" *20 minutes later, Aragorn finishes explaining what it is*
"Now do you understand?" Aragorn asked. Sam nodded. "I guess that's why the casserole sucked today…" he said. Aragorn slapped his face again. "You idiot!!" he said getting up. "Where are you going?" Sam asked. "Home." Aragorn said. Sam got up. "Well, It was good to see you, good day," Sam said walking off. Aragorn looked down the road and it was dark and quiet. "Uhh, Sam, do you mind if I spent the night at your place?" he asked. "I'd be honored to have the king at my house." Sam said. Aragorn smiled and they went to Sam's home. "Oh Sam, you're back, you wouldn't believe who stopped by for the evening." Rosie said. "Who Mr. Frodo?" he asked. "Arrgghhhh, what is it with you and this damn Mr. Frodo shit!!" she yelled. Sam smiled cheesily and kissed his wife. "If I hear that Mr. Frodo one more time, I'm seriously gonna call Pippin to whip your ass!" she said. "OOOOh" Sam said. She smacked him. "As I was saying, oh look, hello King Aragorn, are you spending the night?" Rosie asked. He smiled and nodded. "Very well then, come with me and you'll wash in your room before dinner." She said. He nodded and she led him to a room way in the back. "Here, wash and dinner will be ready soon." She said. He smiled and nodded. He went into the room and Rosie walked off with a smirk on her face.
Aragorn went over to the washing basin and he heard a click. He turned around and saw Arwen with a whip in her hand. "And where were you today mister?" she asked. He looked around. "Uhh…" The scene fades with an aerial view of Sam's house and shouts from Aragorn. "Please!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
THE END
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