Disclaimer : I can't claim anything other than the story and the plot…I could try to claim other things but I'd rather not get my behind sued off so I won't, it all belongs to someone else other than me…sadly.
A/N : Ok, I think I'm back on track now, that last chapter was something of interest…but hey, that's what writing is all about, just to see what you can come up with that is interesting and that was definitely interesting. Ok, enough with the babbling, I do enough of that and you probably don't wanna read all my babbling, so I'll get right back on track with the story…this will be from Jase's POV while he's talking to Tommy then I'll switch later on to Trini's POV while she's talking to Kim…maybe she'll get some answers from the gymnast, maybe not, we'll just have to wait and see. I really don't know what I have planned for this chapter yet, I do know that it's not Kim and Tommy's reunion, not yet. Couple more chapters, then you'll have that. Review as always. Thanks!
THE POWER RANGERS IN :
THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID
Chapter 6
I followed Tommy from the room, I could hear Trini a little ways behind us. "Tommy?" I asked as we stepped into the kitchen, we had lost Trini somewhere upstairs, I think she may have went to the bathroom or something. I called to him again but he didn't even turn around to look at me, not even so much as a backwards glance. "Hey Tommy? You gonna answer me sometime today bro?" He still wouldn't look at me. I walked over to him, he was standing next to the doorway out into the breezeway, just looking out into the garage. His gaze was glued to her car, to Kim's car. At least what he could see of it anyhow. "Are you alright?" I asked as I stepped up next to him and gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder.
He whirled around to look at me, his face so dark that I actually had to take a step back. "Tommy?" I asked, my voice actually came out in a squeak and I forcefully tried to clear it before I spoke again. "Are you alright bro?" I asked.
"Alright? You have to ask me if I'm alright after seeing her just like that?" He snarled. I took an involuntary step back from him, I'd never seen this side of him before, and to say I was scared would be an understatement. "The least you could've done was warn me she was coming! Even to of known a few hours in advance would've been nice!" he fumed, his eyes becoming even darker with anger. "I wasn't prepared to see her, I never thought I'd see her again. Not in this life time at least!" He was growing angrier by the moment.
"How would you have liked it if the tables had been reversed?" He said and his voice was nothing more than a mere whisper.
"Tommy, we knew she was coming back…" I paused as he gave me a venomous look. I cleared my throat and continued, "We knew she was coming back, but we didn't know for how long. We thought it was just a visit, we didn't know she planned on staying." I broke off at the look he gave me, as if he was saying 'yeah, like I really believe that for a minute…' I sighed, "Listen, maybe we should've figured something was up when her mom sent the car over, but we didn't read to much into it. We didn't think…" he glared at me. He was doing an awful lot of that right now it seemed.
"Ok, maybe we should have questioned it then, but we didn't." That look again…and I sighed again. "Tommy, we were just glad to have her back for a little while. We didn't find out until we picked her up at the airport that she was planning on staying…she asked if she could stay here with us until she finds a place of her own. We weren't going to refuse one of our oldest friends." That glare again. "Tommy, you can't hold this against us…" I stopped at the look he gave me, 'Oh, you wanna bet I can't do that?' I think I actually shivered at the hardness I saw in his eyes. This was a side I'd never seen of him and I don't think I ever want to see it again.
"I can't hold this against you maybe, but I can the fact that you never told me!" he said in a whispered breath, "I just can't believe you never told me."
"I can't explain the reasoning behind not telling you, maybe I was afraid of what your reaction would be…I don't know bro, I just don't know." I turned from him and walked further into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I turned to him and waited for him to join me. Reluctantly he did so. "Tommy I'm sorry for not telling you…I didn't think it would bother you this much. I honestly thought you were over her, you keep telling everyone you are." I knew better, but I just had to make him think.
He glared at me, "I am over her!" Again with the snarl.
"If that's so, then why is seeing her effecting you so?" I asked, he glared at me again but didn't answer right away. "You can't answer me cause you know I'm right. You're not over Kimberly Tommy, not by a long shot. Things didn't work out with Kat cause Kim's 'ghost' was always in the way…you even said so yourself. You could never get Kim off your mind." He looked down at the table surface, a look of pure puzzlement crossing over his face.
"You still love her, don't you?" I asked. His head jerked up as if he'd been struck with a hot iron.
"I don't!" he snapped to quickly, his head dropped again. "I can't love her anymore…" his voice faded, I could just barely hear him. "I won't get hurt that way again Jase. She did it once, what's to stop her from taking my heart and shattering it again?" he looked away, over toward the stairs and up to the room that held the topic of our conversation. "I can't risk that kind of hurt again. You know the old saying, 'Once bitten, twice shy', well, that's me. She bit me once, she sure as hell ain't gonna do it again. I won't let her."
I shook my head, what else could I say to him? What could I say to make him see the light? Maybe there was nothing I nor anyone else could do, maybe it was all up to him and Kimberly…and if that was the case then they'd never get back together, they're both just to stubborn to admit when either one of them is wrong. "You still love her?" I finally asked again.
He looked up at me and I was shocked at the hurt and pain that was still evident in the dark depths of his eyes after so long. "Yeah, I still love her. I always have and always will…but I won't go back to her Jase. I won't set myself up for that kind of fall again!"
"Why don't you talk to her man? Find out what her reasons were behind that letter…I'm still not convinced that there was another guy. It had to be a front for something else she didn't want to let you in on." He looked hard at me, his dark eyes boring intensely into mine. I wouldn't look away and so I met his stare head on.
"She said it all in her letter Jase." He said so quietly I had to lean forward just to hear him clearly. "It was all there…all of it. She'd found someone new and was happy with him. She wanted me to move on, but I couldn't. She was always there, always in my thoughts…she wanted me to move on like she did, but I couldn't. I still loved her, I still do…but I don't trust her. Not anymore, and trust is the basis for a relationship. Without that, we'd have nothing, absolutely nothing at all." He sighed deeply and I felt anguish for my friends…they had been through so much together, and to have their relationship torn apart like this was killing me. "I don't want her back Jase, not now, not ever. That's final."
I looked at him, had I heard him right? Was he giving up on him and Kimberly completely? "So there's no chance at all of you two getting back together then?" I asked, a sneaky idea worming its way into my mind. He'd kill me, but I had to prove a point to him.
He wouldn't look at me, his eyes were once more glued to the surface of the table. "No chance," he said quietly.
"None at all?" I repeated, just to make certain.
Then he looked up at me, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "I said no chance Jase, what? You want me to spell it out for you too? There. Is. No. Chance. Of. Us. Getting. Back. Together!" he grated out harshly. "There, do you get the point yet? Do you understand the concept yet?" He was totally rattled by the direction this conversation had taken. I'd almost think that Tommy was coming unglued. Almost, but not quite.
"Yeah, I get the point Tommy…" I trailed off and waited for him to look up at me, once I had his full attention I spoke again. "So then, if there's no chance…would you mind if I introduced her to a friend of mine? He's been looking for a girlfriend and I think Kim might be just about his type." I got the expected results.
He came up over the table at me, but I was ready for him and was up out of my seat almost instantly. "Tommy!" I said and dodged him as he tried grabbing hold of me again. I smacked him on the side of his head, not to hard. "Tommy!" I yelled again, this time almost directly into his ear. "Hey! Tommy, snap out of it, would you?!" I smacked the side of head again, actually I think I more likely slapped him.
He lunged for me again, this time I didn't move out of the way quickly enough. He grabbed hold of me, but apparently he didn't know what to do with me once he caught me cause he just stood there looking at me confusedly. I brought one of my hands up and snapped my fingers in front of his face. He blinked quickly in response and then focused his eyes on me. "Welcome back to the land of the living…and apparently you're not as over her as you'd like to believe." I said. He left go of me and sadly returned to his seat.
"Jason, I know I still love her…but that's not the point." he looked up at me and I could almost see him pleading with me to understand what he meant. I understood but didn't agree with his assessment of the situation. "I love her but it's not enough. I can't build a relationship on just that love…it's not enough anymore. There has to be more to it now…first of all is trust, which we no longer have. I don't trust her, least of all with my heart. The understanding use to be there, but even that's gone now. And what about commitment? Can either one of us commit ourselves to the other now? We've been apart for so long…and things are so different now. Things will never be the same, never."
I sighed, she hurt him terribly. Kat had tried to mend together his broken heart, or at least heal it partially but the only one who could've done that was Kim herself…but she cut herself off from everyone. Even her own mother. She isolated herself in Florida. I smiled sadly at him, "Tommy, what you feel for her is never going to go away-" he cut me off.
"It might never go away but it might lessen with time. I can't do it again Jase. I can't set myself up for that kind of fall again, I don't know if I'd survive it next time."
"There might not be a next time. Talk to her, try and work things out. You might find a few things out you never knew before, like maybe she was just as miserable as you had been. Maybe she still loves you as much as you love her, or maybe even more. You'll never know unless you go and ask her," I saw the look in his eyes, he'd never admit it was what it was, but I knew the fear when I saw it.
"And what if she laughs right in my face?" He asked.
"Then I guess you'd have your answer." I stated firmly. "But I honestly don't think she'd laugh in your face…chuckle maybe, but I don't think she'd outright laugh." I got a playful punch in the arm for my smart remark. I rubbed it like it had actually hurt and mock-glared at him, "Well, that wasn't very nice!" We both broke down laughing. It was good to see him actually laughing for a change. "Are you going to talk to her?"
He looked at me, but the mirth hadn't left his eyes. "Yeah, I guess. What could it hurt?" the look in his eyes told me an entirely different story. His heart, that's what it could hurt.
Meanwhile Trini and Kim upstairs. Trini's POV.
I walked back into Kim's room, she was soundly back asleep…if you could call it that. She was tossing and turning and softly whimpering in her sleep. Who in the hell is Victoria? She kept on repeating that name over and over. I noticed what looked like tear trails running down over her cheeks. Had she cried herself to sleep?
I sighed and turned around to leave. "I'm not asleep Trini," came her soft voice. "You can come in if you want." It was her way of asking me to come in, that she needed to talk.
I turned back around and carefully walked into the bedroom, but I never took my eyes off of her. "You alright?" I asked, she sat up in the bed and turned her face up to look at me. My breath caught and froze in my throat, I could see her heart reflected there in her eyes. The pain and loneliness, but most of all the despair. Was she regretting what she had done all those years ago to Tommy? Or was it something entirely different that was affecting her? Victoria?
"No, I'm not alright," she finally spoke up and my own heart broke at the emotions I heard in her broken voice. The tears started suddenly and I walked quickly to her side, sat down on the bed besides her and wrapped her safely up in my arms until the sobs lessened and she was no longer crying as hard.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked as I looked back down into her tortured eyes.
"I'm not sure…" she was hesitant.
"How about we start with the nightmare then?" I wasn't sure if this was safe ground or not, but it was the only place I knew to start with…the only thing I even remotely knew anything about, even if it was nothing.
The tears threatened again and I knew that it was not the subject that she wanted to breach, she would chose something else instead. Just as I figured, she shook her head, "Why don't I explain as to why I'm moving back here?" she asked instead. It was something I was curious about and so I nodded my head. Maybe it would give me some insight into what had happened in Florida.
She took careful pains as she spoke, as if she feared saying the wrong thing or giving me a tidbit of information she didn't want me to know about yet. She smiled weakly and looked down at the bedspread that was wrapped around her waist. "I was seeing a specialist in Florida…" she trailed off and looked me intently in the face, I guess gauging my reaction. I said nothing but raised my eyebrows pleading for her to continue. "I'd injured my back, severely. There was talk of me quitting the team, but I would hear none of it-"
"We never heard any of this Kim!" I cried and tried to hug her. "What happened to you?" She held a hand up indicating for me to stop and remain quiet until she was done talking.
"I don't really want to get into that yet Trini. I still don't feel comfortable talking about it, not even all these years later." She smiled sadly, "Anyways, they were talking about me quitting the team…not even my mom knew anything about it. I kept everyone in the dark, you all had other things to worry about. Things that were much more important than wondering how I was doing…so I allowed myself to loose touch with everyone."
"Especially Tommy," I said, I could see the look in her eyes, the grief and regret and most of all the love.
"Especially Tommy." She repeated. "I was in so much pain day in and day out, sometimes I don't even realize how I managed to get up in the morning, but I did. And I lived…" she paused and two emotions conflicted across her face, shame and remorse. Victoria. The name rang through my mind. Could this be where this mysterious Victoria fits into place at? I wouldn't ask her, not yet. She looked like she was about ready to collapse from shear exhaustion as it was, I didn't need to add anything else to the equation.
"There wasn't much else the therapist could do there so they decided to send me to a specialist here…and that's why I've moved back home after all this time." she smiled weakly. I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to overwhelm her with them just yet. When she was ready to talk, she would.
"Can I ask you one question Kim?" she turned her soft brown eyes toward me and slowly nodded her head. "Was there ever any other guy besides Tommy? Did you truly find someone else when you were down there in Florida?" I saw her eyes go distant and they suddenly looked really watery. "It's ok, you don't have to answer it if you don't want too, I'll understand."
She smiled weakly at me, as if thanking me, for what I had no idea. "Trini, right now I'm really not ready to answer that question. If I answer that one I'll have a thousand more I'll have to answer and I really don't feel up to explaining the answers to them or reliving the memories I know will accompany them. If you don't mind, I'll pass on that question this time…anything else you'd like to know?" she asked, she was trying her best to smile but it just wasn't reaching her eyes.
"Actually, yeah I do." her smiled faded fast, she hadn't actually expected me to take her up on the offer. She looked at me intently before she indicated for me to ask the question. "Do you still love him?"
"Do I still love him?" she repeated the question and stared at me blankly, as if she didn't understand the meaning behind that simple question.
"Yeah, do you still love Tommy?"
"Do I still love him?" she repeated the question to herself for a few times, as if she could figure out the answer by repeating the question over and over. She stared blankly out the window, refusing all of a sudden to look my in the face.
"Yeah Kim, do you still love Tommy?" I repeated again, I was actually starting to get annoyed.
"That's a good question," I heard from the doorway. Both our head whirled toward the door, and who should stand there, leaning up against the doorframe like he owned the place? None other than Tommy himself. Exactly how much of our conversation had he heard? I quickly turned to look at Kim and could almost see the same thought spiraling through her mind.
"You going to answer the question or not Kim?" He asked, his eyes remained fixated on Kim, as if I wasn't even in the room. Her eyes in turn never left him, it was as if it were only the two of them here in the room.
"What question?" she breathed shakily.
"Do you still love me?" he repeated. I thought at that exact moment she was going to faint. Don't push her to hard Tommy or she's going to do nothing more than close up on all of us an then no one will be able to figure exactly what's going on or what happened to her. Just shut up and let me deal with her, I almost had her talking. Damn you Jason, weren't you suppose to keep him occupied downstairs while I talked to Kim? It suddenly occurred to me I had actually never verbally revealed my plan to Jase so how was he to know to keep Tommy occupied while I attempted to talk to Kim? I really felt extremely stupid at that exact moment.
"What?" I heard her say ever so quietly. I suddenly wanted to kick Tommy in his ass and tell him to leave! Go back downstairs, anywhere but where we are at the moment. Men! So impossible anyways.
He stepped further into the room, his arms crossed over his chest. "It's a simple question Kim, do you still love me or not?"
Well, what do you think? No, we haven't gotten up to the reunion part yet, the next chapter will become rather messy and these two will hash it out…so if you don't like to read about Kim and Tommy getting into some major arguments, you aren't going to like the next chapter. I just thought I'd warn you ahead of time, but you are going to want to read it, cause it will make their reunion all that much more sweeter if you understand and know all of the hardships these two will have gone through. Well, thanks again for taking the time to read the story and I honestly hope you are enjoying it. As always, please review, I love reading what you have to say. Any comments or something you might want to suggest or see happen, go ahead and e-mail me, I love mail! Thanks again!
