Anne: Good evening, and welcome to The Weakest Link!!! (dum da da! the lights go crazy) Tonight on our special edition of the Weakest Link, we have 8 contestants straight from Middle-Earth!

Aragorn: Um, Anne? There are 9 of us.

Anne: 9? But we only have 8 podiums. Oh, well, I guess you will have to vote one of you off, staight up.

Sam: I think Gimli should go. Nobody likes him anyway.

Gimli: Why, you ungrateful little hobbit! I've done a great deal for this fellowship. If anyone's going to be voted off, it should be you!

Frodo: If you think about it, we'd be better off voting for Gandalf. He knows more than any of us, and is probably going to win.

Boromir: But that's not good strategy, Frodo. If we keep him, he'll get us a lot of money, then we can vote him off before it gets to the final two. We should vote off someone like Pippin.

Pippin: Me? What did I do?!?

Gandalf: Two words: Skeleton. Well.

(By this time, the entire fellowship is at each other's throats. Pippin, who has turned supprisingly hostile, has jumped on Gandalf's head and is bending his pointy hat.)

Anne: People, please! This isn't Springer! Since we don't have enough podiums, we're going to do this Survivor-style. Now, everyone take a slip of paper and write the name of the person you want voted off on it.

(Everyone takes a slip of paper and scribble a name on it. They all put their folded paper in a pretty box Anne got from someone backstage.)

Anne: Okay, now I'll total the votes. (pulls out first piece of paper) One for Merry. One for Boromir. One for Gandalf. One for... what does that say?

Sam: Gimli.

Anne: One for Gimli. Let's see, one for Frodo. One for Pippin. One for Legolas.

Legolas: Wait, who voted for me?!?

Anne: One for Sam. And finally... one for Aragorn.

Frodo: Well, that solved everything.

Merry: We all voted for different people? What are the odds of that...

Anne: Um, so, what do we do now?

(Suddenly, several Uruk-Hai brake in through the stage door!)

Uruk-Hai #1: Hey, there's that guy who's suppose to be dead!

Uruk-Hai #3: If you had listened to me and turned left instead of right, we would have gotten him before now!

Uruk-Hai #2: Hey, we're on TV!!!

Boromir: Ahhhh!!! I knew something was wrong when I made it past "The Departure of Boromir!"

(The Uruk-Hai chase Boromir off the stage, so luckily the audience is spared from seeing Boromir with four arrows sticking out of his chest.)

Aragorn: Well, I guess that solves our problem.

Anne: Um, well, let's go to a commercial. And when we come back, it will be time to find out who in the Fellowship is... The Weakest Link!!!