Chapter VIII:

She didn't come til late. He supposed she'd come earlier, but at some point, he'd fallen asleep. He was surprised, considering he wasn't tired, nor did he feel tired at all during the day.

He heard her first. She was hesitant, hanging about the doorframe, as though not entirely sure she wanted to approach him. He could smell the tears on her, and for a moment he re-thought his original plan to "discuss" some issues with her. "Marie." He said the word, keeping his eyes closed, unable to look at her. Because looking at her would mean having to give in to the awful emotions etched out over her countenance.

She started, and raised a hand to her chest in surprise. "Ah thought you were asleep still."

"No." His eyes followed her as she moved slowly over to his bed. He did not offer her a seat as he usually did, but sat silently instead. He could feel her realize that he was angry with her, and she at last sat, stiffly, barely leaning back into the seat. She was far from relaxed, and glancing over he noticed her body was trembling slightly. It was not cold, at least, not to him, so he wondered what the matter was. And then he mentally cursed and told himself not to care. "You're upset."

"Oh Logan... you have no idea... it was so awful! Ah-"

"I didn't ask for details, Nurse." The brief, blunt manner in which he spoke surprised her, so much so that she snapped her mouth closed and sat, staring at him in disbelief.

"Nurse...? You know mah name now, Logan, why don't you use it?"

"With everyone else using it nowadays... I figured I shouldn't wear it out."

"Wear it out...? Logan, what are you so upset with me about?"

"As though you don't know."

"As a matter of fact, Ah don't!" She winced at her own words, fearful that they were growing loud enough for others to hear. "Logan, why don't you just tell me what Ah've done?"

"How's your friend, over in bed 7? He sure must love your company, to keep you so long. What was he, quoting sonnets and making up love poems, while pleading for you to marry him?" The bitterness in his voice was thick enough to be tangible. He was glad when he saw her start, and moreso when her face twisted some into a grimace. He had hurt her, just as she had him. They were even. Now they could both move on. Or so he thought, anyway.

"Why are you bringin' Jacob into all of this?" Her voice was apprehensive, and a little shakey.

"Thought you nurses didn't like to know names? I guess it's okay though, when he wants to marry you, am I right?"

"No Logan, you aren't right! Not at all!" Her voice remained at a low volume, but her tone went up slightly at the end of each word. She was angry. Well good! For the past three hours he'd sat there, feeling like an ass, and being just as angry, if not moreso. It was time she learned everything wasn't perfect in the world today.

"Oh yeah? Prove it." She looked at him a moment, a gaze he was not about to break. He searched her eyes, looking for anything that would tell him it was all a lie. Instead he saw pain. Lots of pain. Pain he thought he'd inflicted. Pain he'd been proud of a moment before, and now was nothing but ashamed of.

"Jacob was mah neighbor when Ah was a little girl. He was like a big brother to me. Ah've never had any other feelin's for him, an' tha same is true of his feelings for me."

"And the marriage proposal?"

"Tha boy was filled with morphine! Another minute an' he would have asked a dog to marry him! God, Logan..." She ran a hand through her hair, obviously shaken. And Logan? Well... he was starting to feel guilty. That, and very stupid for having listened to gossip. Since when did that constitute as truth?

"So quick to defend him. I'd say you're lying, Marie. I can see it in your eyes. Any minute now, you're going to go running back to him and accept." She stiffened even more then, glaring at him with a look of pure hatred reflecting in her eyes.

"How dare you! Ah can't go back an' do that now, even if Ah wanted to."

"Why, because you're on duty?" He was baiting her, and he knew it. He wanted to get her angry, because he wanted to finally hurt her as badly as she did him.

"No! Because he's dead!" With that she was up out of the chair and out the room. He winced when the chair hit the ground, echoing throughout the large, empty room, and causing his ears to ring painfully.

At that particular moment, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He knew he wanted to kill something, but couldn't make the distinction between who it was he wanted to kill, himself, or little miss lying Betsy. After a few moments contemplation, he decided he was most angry at himself, for being such an idiot. He realized it wasn't his place to be in love. He was highly uneducated in the ways of women, and anything else that had nothing to do with war.

Staring at the ceiling, he began to hate. It wasn't directed at anything in particular, though it all joined together at some point and directed back at himself. After what seemed like an hour or so, he'd come to the conclusion that his time here was up. He'd pushed himself into a corner that had but one choice of escape. He had to leave this place. Put as much distance between himself and Marie as humanly possible, before he messed things up even more so. He didn't belong in that hospital anyway; feigning injury was only keeping one truly injured person from receiving the care they needed. No... it wasn't here he belonged at all, but back in the war. And tomorrow, he'd return there. It was too late now to catch a transport outta this place, but tomorrow...