Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. This chapter isn't so funny, but I promise, some hillarity will take place in chapter three, so keep reading...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Remus lingered in bed, stroking the silky fur of his cat, Totes. In his opinion, Totes was the most adorable cat ever made. Totes had black fur, with white splashes on his back, a white tummy, and little white feet. Remus sighed when he remembered what was only a few short hours away. Tonight was the first night of the full moon. He didn't want to get up, and maybe if he didn't, the night would never come. But that wasn't very likely, as dusk was already threatening the clear, blue sky. So, after carefully setting Totes in his knapsack, he went downstairs to dinner. At least it was Saturday, no bloody classes today.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Jamsie, is something wrong?" Lily asked at dinner, running a hand through James's hair.
"Don't," he said, pushing her hand away, "you'll mess it up."
Lily just laughed at him. "Oh, you mean this is the un-messy look?"
James set his fork down suddenly. "Lily, what do you think of Remus?"
The other two marauders held their breath (a/n: remus isn't downstairs yet), and Lily looked quite surprised at this question that had popped out of nowhere. "Well," she said, "I think he's a really sweet boy."
James wasn't satisfied. "Well, everyone says that! I mean, how do you think of him physically?"
"How do I think of him physically? I don't." Lily was starting to seem offended.
"Oh, okay, good," James gave a relieved sigh and dug back into his food. Lily gave a questioning look to Peter and Sirius, who both shrugged as though they both knew nothing.
Sirius was being unusually quiet that evening. He was feeling down, really down. Like, far enough down to sing the blues. So down, even the socks noticed the change.
"Hey, Sirius, what's got you down?" Peter said, hoping that the author would just let the readers infer it's because Sirius had a big crush on Lacy, who in turn favors Remus, so they could skip a whole bunch of dialog.
Luckily, Sirius didn't have to respond to Peter because just then, a werewolf came strolling into the Great Hall.
"Hello all," he said, gingerly setting down his knapsack and opening it just enough to squeeze some sausage inside. James and Sirius glared at him.
"Either you've sided with the socks and have decided to start sneaking them food, or I'd reckon you have a cat in that bag," Lily observed.
Totes stuck a paw out of the bag far enough to bat Remus on the nose.
"My God!" Peter cried. "The socks have grown paws!" He unconsciously pulled his own knapsack closer, in which he kept his precious teddy bear, cleverly named "Boo Bear".
"Don't worry, Peter," Remus chuckled, "it's just Totes. And I won't let him get Boo Bear."
"Promise?"
"Promise." (a/n: for further mention of Boo Bear, see "Wrong On So Many Levels". Do you guys like how my stories sort of connect? Please tell me honestly!)
Sirius "accidentally" knocked his water onto Remus's lap.
"Hey, what was that for?" Remus demanded.
"Oops, it slipped," Sirius said, rather unconvincingly.
"Just watch it, okay?" Remus said, standing up to wipe himself off.
"Or you'll do what, werewolf, bite me?" Sirius said, his tone full of menace. In another time, with another voice, this could have been taken as a joke. Not the way he said it now, though. Besides, they didn't use the word "werewolf". It was always "wolfie", or "wolf boy", or "Moony", and those things were okay. But they never used the "w.w. word".
Remus looked at him, astonished and obviously hurt. Sirius wished that he could take that back the minute he'd said it, but he couldn't now, so what was the use? He kept his cool gaze steady.
"What's the matter with you?" Remus quietly said, picking up his knapsack and heading out the door, dinner forgotten.
"You're a real jerk, you know that, Sirius?" Lily scolded as soon as Remus had left.
"Sorry, Mum," Sirius said cynically.
"Hey!" James spoke up. "He didn't do anything you to, so what was that for?"
"None of your damn businness," Sirius said, feeling quite ready to leave the table.
"Why don't you take that bug out of your bum!"
"Why don't you keep your nose in your own bloody business!" Sirius looked to Peter for help.
Peter bit his lip and said nervously, "Well, that *was* below the belt, Sirius. Especially this time of the month."
"It isn't my fault if Remus has got P.M.S.," Sirius muttered and stood to go.
"It isn't his, either!" James called after him as he walked away.
"What is the matter with you boys today?" Lily asked.
"Nothing," James and Peter said quickly, shoving their mouths full so they wouldn't have to answer any questions.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Remus found himself once again on his bed. His stomach growled, but the only thing he had was one of the sausages he'd gotten for Totes. Although he was very hungry, he passed on the sausage. Him and meat were not a good combination, especially this week.
The door creaked open. Sirius ducked his head in long enough to see that Remus was there and started to shut it again. On a second thought, he looked back and muttered, "Sorry", and shut the door a little too forcefully. Remus felt better, although still hungry. After rummaging through Peter's trunk, which was always good for a sweet or two, Remus came across a cup of pudding.
"Well, it's better than nothing," Remus said, digging into the cup with his finger, as he lacked a spoon. Just then, James and Peter came through the door.
"Wow, nice supper," Peter commented.
"You know, a wolf can eat thirty pounds of meat a meal," Remus said, his eyes glittering with gold. "You volunteering to help the Remus Hunger Relief Fund?"
"No!" Peter squeeked and jumped under his bed.
"Uh, Remus," James said, "your eyes are glowing."
"Oh, right." Remus blinked and felt the effects of the wolf wear off.
James hesitated. "Have you seen Sirius?"
"Yeah, he ducked in long enough to mutter that he was sorry and ran back out again."
James lowered his head in thought. "Well, I'm sure he didn't mean it. He's upset about something today, he went off on me and Lily, too."
"I wonder," Remus said, licking the pudding cup clean, "do you think it's because of what that Lacy girl said?"
James laughed. "Why would he be mad about that? He hates Lacy!"
"Yeah, I guess so."
The conversation came to a halt. Remus felt his heart sink as he looked out the window. "Well, I guess I better go." His feet felt rooted to the spot. "You'll look after Totes?"
"Yeah, sure," James mumbled. This part was never easy. "Remus, I really think you should go. Madam Pompfry-"
"-Yeah. Yeah. Bye." Remus quickly walked out the door, without a second glance.
James was trying not to worry about Sirius's strange behavior, when Peter's scream from under the bed broke the silence.
"Help! Help! Ah! Get off me you lousy sock!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius had spent most of the night in the library, for three reasons. The first was that he wanted to avoid Lacy Barker at all costs. The second was that he needed to look up the perfect revenge for Remus. The third was that he really liked the smell of the library. But, no one needs to know that.
Now, Sirius was lying in bed, just waiting for the right moment to release his vengence. James's steady breathing was evidence that he had finally gone to sleep, and Peter was talking in his sleep, so Sirius knew he wouldn't be waking soon. Quietly, he rolled out of bed and looked around. No sign of consciousness. *Whew* Sirius silently crept over to Remus's bed.
*does remus deserve this? yes. he probably lead lacy on. besides, pranks don't need logic! it spoils them! don't think about it sirius, just do it!*
A new wave of guilt broke when a howl rolled in through the window. Remus's bed was right next to Sirius's, but it felt like the longest walk of his life. Taking advantage of Moony while he was sick....Well, not really sick.
Sirius pulled back the curtains that concealed Remus's empty bed and quickly closed them again as soon as he was kneeling on the covers. Inside the curtains, he could see the sleeping form of the cat in the moonlight. Poor, innocent little Totes. Oh well, it's just a cat. Besides, the spell could be reversed. With enough research.
Totes woke up when he found this intruder on his master's bed. Not yet having developed a very good judge of character, the little cat rolled over on his head and invited Sirius to tickle his tummy. Sirius solemnly took out his wand, said a few words, observed the effects of the spell, and went to bed as though nothing had happened. There were no witnesses, besides two dirty socks. And bleached socks tell no stories.....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James woke up. It was still dark outside. He checked the time; 4:00. Moony wouldn't be back for about two and a half hours. After sometime spent squirming and thinking about how good Lily's hair smelled, James wrangled some socks from the bottom of his bed and decided to get a midnight snack. While passing Remus's bed, he looked through the curtains to check on Totes. It took James's sleepy mind a few seconds to realize what he was seeing.
Totes was bright pink.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
okay, hope you liked the latest installment. if you have an suggestions for this story or for future ones, please leave them in the review section. (yes! i do take requests! sometimes...)
SHAMELESS PLUG!!!!!!!!!!!! please go read my other stories! "Harry Learns the Facts of Life" in which Harry goes on an adventure to find out how babies are made (i've been told it's v. funny!), "The First Word", in which Harry says his first word, leaving Sirius very depressed and James wondering who the father is (but it's a joke, don't worry), "Wrong on So Many Levels", in which Sirius hits on Lily, James hits Sirius, Sirius hits on Remus (but not seriously, no slash, i promise!), and Remus puts Snape in his place (i love this story, please read it!), and finally, "Who's in Love with the Big Bad Wolf?" in which Hermione has a school girl crush on Remus, and then she finds out he's a werewolf. He knows she knows about him, and that she has a crush on him. I think it's cute. Okay, so there they are. Please read! Sock jokes run free and abundant! Now go, and be fertile!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Remus lingered in bed, stroking the silky fur of his cat, Totes. In his opinion, Totes was the most adorable cat ever made. Totes had black fur, with white splashes on his back, a white tummy, and little white feet. Remus sighed when he remembered what was only a few short hours away. Tonight was the first night of the full moon. He didn't want to get up, and maybe if he didn't, the night would never come. But that wasn't very likely, as dusk was already threatening the clear, blue sky. So, after carefully setting Totes in his knapsack, he went downstairs to dinner. At least it was Saturday, no bloody classes today.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Jamsie, is something wrong?" Lily asked at dinner, running a hand through James's hair.
"Don't," he said, pushing her hand away, "you'll mess it up."
Lily just laughed at him. "Oh, you mean this is the un-messy look?"
James set his fork down suddenly. "Lily, what do you think of Remus?"
The other two marauders held their breath (a/n: remus isn't downstairs yet), and Lily looked quite surprised at this question that had popped out of nowhere. "Well," she said, "I think he's a really sweet boy."
James wasn't satisfied. "Well, everyone says that! I mean, how do you think of him physically?"
"How do I think of him physically? I don't." Lily was starting to seem offended.
"Oh, okay, good," James gave a relieved sigh and dug back into his food. Lily gave a questioning look to Peter and Sirius, who both shrugged as though they both knew nothing.
Sirius was being unusually quiet that evening. He was feeling down, really down. Like, far enough down to sing the blues. So down, even the socks noticed the change.
"Hey, Sirius, what's got you down?" Peter said, hoping that the author would just let the readers infer it's because Sirius had a big crush on Lacy, who in turn favors Remus, so they could skip a whole bunch of dialog.
Luckily, Sirius didn't have to respond to Peter because just then, a werewolf came strolling into the Great Hall.
"Hello all," he said, gingerly setting down his knapsack and opening it just enough to squeeze some sausage inside. James and Sirius glared at him.
"Either you've sided with the socks and have decided to start sneaking them food, or I'd reckon you have a cat in that bag," Lily observed.
Totes stuck a paw out of the bag far enough to bat Remus on the nose.
"My God!" Peter cried. "The socks have grown paws!" He unconsciously pulled his own knapsack closer, in which he kept his precious teddy bear, cleverly named "Boo Bear".
"Don't worry, Peter," Remus chuckled, "it's just Totes. And I won't let him get Boo Bear."
"Promise?"
"Promise." (a/n: for further mention of Boo Bear, see "Wrong On So Many Levels". Do you guys like how my stories sort of connect? Please tell me honestly!)
Sirius "accidentally" knocked his water onto Remus's lap.
"Hey, what was that for?" Remus demanded.
"Oops, it slipped," Sirius said, rather unconvincingly.
"Just watch it, okay?" Remus said, standing up to wipe himself off.
"Or you'll do what, werewolf, bite me?" Sirius said, his tone full of menace. In another time, with another voice, this could have been taken as a joke. Not the way he said it now, though. Besides, they didn't use the word "werewolf". It was always "wolfie", or "wolf boy", or "Moony", and those things were okay. But they never used the "w.w. word".
Remus looked at him, astonished and obviously hurt. Sirius wished that he could take that back the minute he'd said it, but he couldn't now, so what was the use? He kept his cool gaze steady.
"What's the matter with you?" Remus quietly said, picking up his knapsack and heading out the door, dinner forgotten.
"You're a real jerk, you know that, Sirius?" Lily scolded as soon as Remus had left.
"Sorry, Mum," Sirius said cynically.
"Hey!" James spoke up. "He didn't do anything you to, so what was that for?"
"None of your damn businness," Sirius said, feeling quite ready to leave the table.
"Why don't you take that bug out of your bum!"
"Why don't you keep your nose in your own bloody business!" Sirius looked to Peter for help.
Peter bit his lip and said nervously, "Well, that *was* below the belt, Sirius. Especially this time of the month."
"It isn't my fault if Remus has got P.M.S.," Sirius muttered and stood to go.
"It isn't his, either!" James called after him as he walked away.
"What is the matter with you boys today?" Lily asked.
"Nothing," James and Peter said quickly, shoving their mouths full so they wouldn't have to answer any questions.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Remus found himself once again on his bed. His stomach growled, but the only thing he had was one of the sausages he'd gotten for Totes. Although he was very hungry, he passed on the sausage. Him and meat were not a good combination, especially this week.
The door creaked open. Sirius ducked his head in long enough to see that Remus was there and started to shut it again. On a second thought, he looked back and muttered, "Sorry", and shut the door a little too forcefully. Remus felt better, although still hungry. After rummaging through Peter's trunk, which was always good for a sweet or two, Remus came across a cup of pudding.
"Well, it's better than nothing," Remus said, digging into the cup with his finger, as he lacked a spoon. Just then, James and Peter came through the door.
"Wow, nice supper," Peter commented.
"You know, a wolf can eat thirty pounds of meat a meal," Remus said, his eyes glittering with gold. "You volunteering to help the Remus Hunger Relief Fund?"
"No!" Peter squeeked and jumped under his bed.
"Uh, Remus," James said, "your eyes are glowing."
"Oh, right." Remus blinked and felt the effects of the wolf wear off.
James hesitated. "Have you seen Sirius?"
"Yeah, he ducked in long enough to mutter that he was sorry and ran back out again."
James lowered his head in thought. "Well, I'm sure he didn't mean it. He's upset about something today, he went off on me and Lily, too."
"I wonder," Remus said, licking the pudding cup clean, "do you think it's because of what that Lacy girl said?"
James laughed. "Why would he be mad about that? He hates Lacy!"
"Yeah, I guess so."
The conversation came to a halt. Remus felt his heart sink as he looked out the window. "Well, I guess I better go." His feet felt rooted to the spot. "You'll look after Totes?"
"Yeah, sure," James mumbled. This part was never easy. "Remus, I really think you should go. Madam Pompfry-"
"-Yeah. Yeah. Bye." Remus quickly walked out the door, without a second glance.
James was trying not to worry about Sirius's strange behavior, when Peter's scream from under the bed broke the silence.
"Help! Help! Ah! Get off me you lousy sock!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius had spent most of the night in the library, for three reasons. The first was that he wanted to avoid Lacy Barker at all costs. The second was that he needed to look up the perfect revenge for Remus. The third was that he really liked the smell of the library. But, no one needs to know that.
Now, Sirius was lying in bed, just waiting for the right moment to release his vengence. James's steady breathing was evidence that he had finally gone to sleep, and Peter was talking in his sleep, so Sirius knew he wouldn't be waking soon. Quietly, he rolled out of bed and looked around. No sign of consciousness. *Whew* Sirius silently crept over to Remus's bed.
*does remus deserve this? yes. he probably lead lacy on. besides, pranks don't need logic! it spoils them! don't think about it sirius, just do it!*
A new wave of guilt broke when a howl rolled in through the window. Remus's bed was right next to Sirius's, but it felt like the longest walk of his life. Taking advantage of Moony while he was sick....Well, not really sick.
Sirius pulled back the curtains that concealed Remus's empty bed and quickly closed them again as soon as he was kneeling on the covers. Inside the curtains, he could see the sleeping form of the cat in the moonlight. Poor, innocent little Totes. Oh well, it's just a cat. Besides, the spell could be reversed. With enough research.
Totes woke up when he found this intruder on his master's bed. Not yet having developed a very good judge of character, the little cat rolled over on his head and invited Sirius to tickle his tummy. Sirius solemnly took out his wand, said a few words, observed the effects of the spell, and went to bed as though nothing had happened. There were no witnesses, besides two dirty socks. And bleached socks tell no stories.....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James woke up. It was still dark outside. He checked the time; 4:00. Moony wouldn't be back for about two and a half hours. After sometime spent squirming and thinking about how good Lily's hair smelled, James wrangled some socks from the bottom of his bed and decided to get a midnight snack. While passing Remus's bed, he looked through the curtains to check on Totes. It took James's sleepy mind a few seconds to realize what he was seeing.
Totes was bright pink.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
okay, hope you liked the latest installment. if you have an suggestions for this story or for future ones, please leave them in the review section. (yes! i do take requests! sometimes...)
SHAMELESS PLUG!!!!!!!!!!!! please go read my other stories! "Harry Learns the Facts of Life" in which Harry goes on an adventure to find out how babies are made (i've been told it's v. funny!), "The First Word", in which Harry says his first word, leaving Sirius very depressed and James wondering who the father is (but it's a joke, don't worry), "Wrong on So Many Levels", in which Sirius hits on Lily, James hits Sirius, Sirius hits on Remus (but not seriously, no slash, i promise!), and Remus puts Snape in his place (i love this story, please read it!), and finally, "Who's in Love with the Big Bad Wolf?" in which Hermione has a school girl crush on Remus, and then she finds out he's a werewolf. He knows she knows about him, and that she has a crush on him. I think it's cute. Okay, so there they are. Please read! Sock jokes run free and abundant! Now go, and be fertile!
