The Firetah

(part eleven)

Draco stood stiffly in the Slytherin common room and let Pansy assail him with her words.

"And she just tore it off my neck and melted it, Draco! All I said was that she should leave you alone and, and..."

Draco was no longer listening. Pansy was a problem he had yet to solve. "Keeping up appearances" was what his father called Draco's relationship with Pansy. Being bored out of his mind was what Draco called it.

"Pansy, I'll get you a new necklace, all right? Now, just leave me alone for a moment, will you?" Draco shot Pansy an impatient glance and waved her off with his hand. Pansy backed off and went to sulk by the window.

Draco looked around the common room. Crabbe and Goyle were intent on a game of Exploding Snap at one of the large tables by the fire. Blaise Zabini was showing some girls a new trinket she had gotten in Hogsmeade over by the window, where Pansy was managing to look interested and sullen at the same time.

Gods...didn't any of these people know the word excitement? Potter and those Gryffindors were always into trouble of some sort. Sneaking out, telling secrets. They always looked adventurous. And now Anchoret was one of them. The most fascinating girl he'd ever seen, and she had to be sorted into Gryffindor. He had seen her in the halls, laughing and talking with the Mudblood and her friends. She even seemed to be enjoying their company. But when he could catch her eye there was always a smile...a light in those grey eyes that told him she noticed him, no matter what her no-good friends thought.

He wondered what she was doing right now...

*******

I walked briskly down the corridor to see the Headmaster. I hadn't anticipated this. New friends, new feelings. I never thought it would be so hard to keep a secret. I never thought having friends would affect me this way. I can't keep them in the dark. I have to tell them...I have to or I won't make it a week...let alone three more years.

I see someone up ahead as I get closer to Dumbledore's office. It looks like the redheaded boy from the library, but as I pass him I look into his eyes. These are not the eyes of the boy from before. He must have a twin. Funny I hadn't noticed before.

This one's eyes are lit up with mischief and merriment, although I suspect that he has just come from where I'm going. A strong spirit and a happy one, he's got. Although perhaps not as strong as his brother's. I nod at him and he smiles and continues walking.

I turn back to my thoughts. The look on Hermione's face when she told me I couldn't continue keeping secrets, the way Ron looks at me strangely every time I speak, the rush of feelings I get when Harry looks at me, or I at him. These images haunt me as I mutter the password and make my way up the stairs to Dumbledore's office.

I need some answers.

*******

Headmaster Dumbledore sighed wearily as he listened to his pupil. "What do you want me to do? I cannot let Anchoret tell her friends."

"Well, then at least let her tell me. She needs to confide in someone...I know it's making her crazy...I saw it when I looked at her. She's strained and..."

The two people were interrupted by a knock on the door. "That will be her now," said the Headmaster, rubbing his temples.

*******

I walked into the room after the door opened to see Dumbledore and, to my surprise, the redheaded boy from the library.

"Anchoret, come in! Please have a seat," the Headmaster said. "Meet George Weasley, one of the infamous Weasley twins...he's here to help."

I look at the strangely solemn face of George Weasley. He is here to help? I can see that his spirit runs deeper than anyone could guess. How he manages to hide this side of him I cannot tell, but I see a friend in him.

We both have secrets.

I sit down on a threadbare purple chair next to George's brilliant red one. "So...I take it you two know what I'm here for?" I say, licking my lips nervously.

George says, "Anchoret...I'm not, er, usually like this, but in the library this afternoon I saw...you, and I know, I mean...I could see that, er..."

"George...you saw only what I wanted you to see... do not be frightened. I'm assuming that since you have been permitted to stay so far the Headmaster will not object to me telling you what I am." I look over at Dumbledore and he's smiling.

"George, I am a Firetah. A spirit made of fire...only one of my kind exists in the world at a time, and that one only once every thousand years. I am not human, though I have a human shape. I also have human feelings and emotions. I don't know why I was born a Firetah, nor do I know precisely what a Firetah does. I know one thing, however...I can no longer keep this secret from my friends." I let out my breath in a sigh and look at them both. George is smiling and the Headmaster is frowning.

"Anchoret...I cannot let you tell them..." the Headmaster says," I simply cannot. It is out of the question. I know, however, that this burden is too great to bear alone. So that is why I have decided that George here can know. He can help you...if ever you need to confide and feel that you can't come to me or Professor McGonagall, go to George. He saw vaguely what you were even before you decided to show him. He came to me right after he left the library to tell me of the sadness he saw, and of the heaviness that your secret holds upon your soul. He saw these things, Anchoret, because George is a good person. He didn't care about the fact that you are not human. He saw your pain and knew you needed help. That is why I let him stay in here. Well, that and the fact that he and his brother, Fred- whom you must have passed on the way in- must serve a detention tomorrow for crimes innumerable." His eyes danced. I laughed a little. Then he spoke again.

"Anchoret, is there anything else you need to tell me?" He looks deep into my eyes and I start to cry.

"Oh Professor... of course there is so much you need to know! I cannot look at Harry Potter without feeling sick, and I can't help but look at Draco Malfoy all the time, and I just had a row with Pansy Parkinson in the corridor because she was insulting..." Dumbledore cut me off.

"Wait, Anchoret! One thing at a time. Now first tell me about Harry. You say you cannot look at him?" I nod. "You should have came to me when this first started happening. Why can't you look at him?" I tell him that I get dizzy and weak from the force of Harry's emotions, and that I can't tell what they are.

"And I can't even look at my own friend!" I finish with a sob.

"Calm yourself, Anchoret. This may be easily fixed... I forget sometimes that you are only a child. You pick up so well on emotions... I am surprised that you keep missing something that is so obvious... do you really not know what those feelings are that sweep over you when you look at Harry? Perhaps the force of them is so great you can't discern them...hmmm. It's all very strange."

As the Headmaster mumbles to himself I sit and think. What? I honestly don't know...I've never felt such emotions before...how am I to understand something I have never experienced? Does Harry hate me? Is he merely curious? Somehow I think that none of these are the case.

George is sitting beside me looking decidedly amused...I'm getting irritated. "What?" I burst out. "What is it that I'm missing, tell me!"

The Headmaster looks at me and says, "Anchoret, Harry Potter sees the bond between you two. He's in love with you, child. He's noticed something about you that is just perfect for him, and he's clinging to the hope that you will notice it too."

I sit stunned. In love? How could I have missed that? Harry Potter, bonds, George, Draco...my thoughts whirl dizzily around in my head, and the Headmaster wasn't finished. I'm still reeling from the shock when he moves on.

"Now what is this about Draco?" He asks with a laugh.

"Well, sir, I just..." I look pointedly over at George.

"I won't tell," says George with a grin.

"You're the Air Twin, you know," I say with a smile..."You're the Air...light and carefree, but able to see everything important. Your brother is the Fire twin...crackley and raucous." I give him time to mull this over, and see with satisfaction that he is quite absorbed in his thoughts. I turn back to the Headmaster.

"I just think Draco is so...interesting. He fascinates me, and I see something crafty in his eyes that I recognize in my own. He's so...icy. I'm fiery and he's so cold...so indifferent. I just can't make myself stay away from him. I shouldn't have to decide yet, sir! I am just a child...like you said. I need time to think. This bond thing you say I have with Harry, I'm not ready for it yet! I don't even feel this, this...bond!" I look at him beseechingly.

"Anchoret, it is not a question of readiness. It just is. I cannot help it. Look inside yourself and tell me you sense the bond. When two people were made for each other, they have a connection...like a silken strand, between them always. The two usually know it when they meet. Of course, I've never had experience with a Firetah. Perhaps your mind and soul are too intent on...other things to notice."

He says this kindly, with the kind of quiet amusement that is typical of him. "You don't have to decide just yet, Anchoret, you just must realize that no matter who you choose, a part of you will always belong to Harry. He knows how he feels, he just doesn't understand exactly what's going on yet. And neither do you."

"So I don't have to choose yet? I just have to let things go, because I'll never be happy with anyone but Harry?" I say this with some bitterness.

"Be a student and a friend, Anchoret. Tell your friends that they will just have to trust you and that you will tell them when the time is right. Don't let them make your decisions for you. If you must, you may tell them that you are a bit unusual, but I suspect they already know that." He laughs quietly. I laugh with him, a little. "When you feel like talking, talk to George...he'll listen, and what's more, he'll understand." I look at George dubiously, who grins back cheerily, and with a swiftness that is not a little disconcerting we move on to the next subject.

"I understand that you said you had a little...tiff with Pansy?"

"Yes...on the way here to your office. She said that we would all go the same way as Harry's parents, and good riddance. So I just snapped. I tore her necklace off and melted it. It was something I didn't plan on doing, but I cannot abide injustice and undeserved malice."

"Ah, Anchoret. That is why you are in Gryffindor. Not only because you can't abide those things, but because you do something about it, however inexplicable. Petty jealousy is always a problem with people, whether they be wizard, Muggle or Firetah. It doesn't excuse certain actions, however, and you must try very hard to keep your temper in check, all right?" I nod, and he says, "Pansy must be led to believe that nothing is amiss. Perhaps we should raise the question of the necklace's quality, to melt so easily?" He sighs and continues, "Yes, well, I think that takes care of the major things. Now I think you and George should get off to dinner."

I'm not quite ready to leave yet, but I can see the Headmaster is weary and absorbed in his thoughts. I can save the rest of my questions for some other time. He's got a lot to think about, with Voldemort being back and all. I turn to George. "Come on, let's go. Surely Fred is wondering why you stayed behind after he had left?"

He stands up and grins at me. "Right then, I'm starving!"

I know he's a Weasley now.