The Firetah

(part sixteen)

Anchoret walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down wearily with Hermione. Ron and the rest of the Gryffindors gave her sorrowful looks, but Harry refused to look at her. Then, after a few silent minutes, he turned to her. She kept her eyes downcast...it was just too much to bear, looking at him.

"Anchoret?"

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something. I know how difficult it must be for you...all this choosing and stuff, and I guess you know how, I, er....feel about you, but we've never really talked. I think you ought to know first off that whatever decision you make I hope that we can still be friends."

Harry had said this all very fast, as if he had wanted to say it for some time. Anchoret knew that he had.

She said to her toast, "Thanks, Harry. I think this is very difficult for us all. I just want to make the right decision, and I want to be happy. Isn't that what everyone wants? I never knew my coming here would have such an effect on everyone, It's just all so sudden! One day I'm a normal spirit of fire, living at home and itching to come to Hogwarts, the next I'm dealing with love triangles, bonds and the fate of the entire wizarding world. Plus I have Transfiguration homework."

This last bit was said in a sigh so plaintive that Harry just had to laugh. Harry knew, even though Anchoret couldn't look at him, that she was laughing too. The ice was broken and they sat companionably, talking and smiling.

*******

Draco sat at the Slytherin table looking dazed. He had meant to walk right up to Anchoret at the Gryffindor table and tell her how he felt...but he couldn't. He had sensed that this wasn't the time. And a Malfoy always had impeccable timing.

He told himself that it wasn't because she had been talking to Potter...big deal! If it was only that, then he would have gone right up and pushed Granger aside and just spoken. But he didn't. Something was buzzing in his mind. "Remember, Draco...you must never reveal your true feelings in front of your enemies. Never give them the benifit of knowing your thoughts." Draco never forgot one of his father's hard lessons.

He would play this waiting game. Until he got tired of it. And then....

*******

Snape swooped out of the Great Hall, unseen. He had to tell Dumbledore what he had learned, now that he knew for sure. He forced his mind to shut off the part of him that still hurt, after all these years. Every time he looked at that boy....the living legacy of their love, it made him ill. No one would want to hear what he had to say, especially Potter...but when had that ever stopped him?

"Are you sure, Severus?"

The Headmaster was sitting at his desk, staring up at Snape with a hopeless expression. "It is the same? How painfully ironic for the boy, then. But I trust you, Severus, to not let your...personal feelings interfere with your decision."

"Of course not, Albus."

*******

Anchoret stood up after breakfast. "Harry...come with me."

"What? Why?"

"I need to talk to you...don't you see? You said yourself that we had never really talked...so let's go talk."

Anchoret was looking at him full on. Her eyes were like the sunset and he couldn't say no.

And so they stood up and walked out of the Great Hall and outside. When Harry started to head for the lake, she stopped him. "No...lets go somewhere else, how about the Quidditch pitch?"

"Okay."

Just then she realized that it was happening again. What was this...a contest? She had already gone for a walk with Draco, out here...the night before. She thought again about his lips on hers, the hurt she had felt when he couldn't say what she thought he meant. She needed to hear the words.

"Harry, stop...let's go sit down."

When they had climbed up into the Gryffindor section of the stands she sat down and grabbed his hand, pulling him down beside her. She felt him shiver, even though the morning was warm.

"Harry.... this is the most confusing, ridiculous thing that has ever happened to me. How should I be dealing with this? What should I do? I never meant to hurt you when I walked out with Draco...it's just that he offered me an escape just when I thought I would die from the pressure. I saw that open door and I just went for it...like an animal that is being hunted and then sees a place of refuge."

Harry was very confused. "Anchoret, I don't know what to say. I keep thinking that if only I could find the words that you want to hear, I would have you. I know it sounds foolish, but I think I'm sometimes a bit mad as it is."

Harry looked down at the quidditch pitch dazedly. "I don't know what to do, either...and I can't tell you what you should be doing, because I can't know how it is for you...all I know is that I feel better, knowing that we'll always be friends, and that we'll always have some sort of bond."

"Harry! Thank you...I feel better knowing that whatever happens, you won't be...devastated about it."

"Yes, well...I won't be, I don't think."

********

Draco stalked off to the Slytherin common room. What had gotten into him? Why hadn't he jumped up and said something when Anchoret had walked out with Harry? Stupid Potter. Stupid school. Stupid Draco. He hadn't even finished his breakfast.

********

"Harry...what's the matter?" Anchoret was uncomfortable. Harry had been looking everywhere but at her for the last few minutes.

"I don't know...I just feel strange. I mean, we're supposed to be talking, but I feel so uncomfortable, like we're meant to be sitting here spilling our secrets to each other, except that neither one of us knows where to start. It's too forced."

Anchoret felt a little leap in her heart as he said this. "I know what you mean, Harry. These last few days it's been very natural and light between us...and then all this choosing stuff has just befuddled us both. It's so confusing...like we ought to be following a script, but we have both forgotten our lines..." She laughed. "Too much television."

Harry laughed with her. "See? This is the way it's supposed to be. Not all these other things getting in the way. I love you, Anchoret...I just don't know in what way, yet...and that is what's confusing me."

"Me too, Harry."

Now Harry was more confused than ever, but he was also regaining some of his high spirits.

"Let's go inside...it's blazing out here. I'll tell you about the time I...."

********

As they were walking back into the castle, Ron and Hermione crashed into them a few steps from the doors.

"What's going on?"

Ron and Hermione were out of breath. Anchoret could also see that they were holding hands, and had forgotten to let go in their haste to tell what they knew. Anchoret smiled.

"Dumbledore came to us in the Great Hall," Hermione gasped.

"He wants to see you," Ron wheezed.

"He says it's important." They said in unison.

*******

Snape and Dumbledore waited.

A few moments later there was a crash outside followed by several thumps. Draco pushed the door open frantically. "What is it? You called me....is it Anchoret? Is she all right? What's happened?" His face was flushed and he was shaking.

Snape looked at Dumbledore, who nodded.

They were right.

Dumbledore said calmly,"Sit yourself down, boy. There is nothing wrong. There are merely a few things that we need to explain... Severus?"

Draco looked at Snape, previously unnoticed. "Professor Snape! What are you doing here?"

"I've come back to help clear things up, Draco. Now all we have to do is wait for P-...Harry and Anchoret to arrive. There are some things I need to say."