The Firetah
(part seventeen)
Anchoret looked at Harry as they followed Ron and Hermione inside. She was more frightened than she had ever been in her life. Ron and Hermione turned to them as they walked past the Great Hall. "I guess you're on your own, now..." Ron said softly. "You know we can't go with you."
Harry and Anchoret nodded numbly. So soon...so soon and it would all be over. Harry's good spirits had fled, and he was now trembling with panic and fear. Anchoret looked as if she wouldn't make it to Dumbledore's office. He put his arm around her to steady her, and they walked on in silence...only punctuated by the occasional whimper from Anchoret.
They came to the statue that hid the entrance. "Fizzing Whizbees," Anchoret whispered softly. The gargoyle moved out of place quietly, as it had never done before. The whole castle seemed cloaked in silence. An air of forboding followed them as they struggled up the stairs, Harry now completely supporting Anchoret. He turned his head to look at her for perhaps the last time, and saw that she was only a faint outline, although she felt solid enough in his encircling arm. It's as if she's already gone....
The door opened and the Headmaster looked at them in alarm. "Harry...sit her down, over there. Thank you. Now we must hurry. It all must fall into place...for all of you."
Anchoret had not seen Snape or Draco yet. She asked, "Where's George?" Dumbledore spoke softly, as if he feared more than a whisper would simply carry her away. "He's not a part of what must happen today, Anchoret. He will see you again, perhaps. One day...." She felt sure that she would see him again. This thought gave her comfort and strength enough to become solid once more.
"Tell us, Headmaster."
"All right....Do you see that man, standing by the window there? Well that is Professor Snape. He has come back from very far away indeed to tell us something of vital importance."
Anchoret and Harry both looked over at Snape, who looked back with a coldness and a bitterness that made Anchoret shiver and Harry wince. Draco sat in a purple chair in front of Fawkes' cage, unmoving. He seemed to be asleep.
"I had to do a spell, Anchoret. Draco was frantic when we called him in. He was worried about you, child." Anchoret nodded. Then she got up and did something so strange that none of them in the room could move for watching her. She walked over to Draco and touched his forehead with a shining hand, and he woke up. He looked up at Anchoret and smiled, then he leaned back in his chair, calm and waiting.
"Go on, Headmaster. We are all ready to hear what you have to say."
"I think that Severus should be the one to tell you. He is, after all, the one who can solve this whole mystery."
At those words Snape came and knelt in front of Anchoret and Harry's chairs. He never would have done, but something about the girl made him want to pay a strange homage to her. He tried to speak, almost on the verge of weeping. Harry couldn't help but be stunned. What is this?
Snape spoke finally, in a calm voice.
"Ahh, Anchoret. It's been a long time....such a long time since I have experienced this. I don't know where to begin, but I suppose I shall start by asking you for the final piece of this puzzle....What is the makeup of your wand?"
Anchoret was puzzled. Harry said, "I don't see what that has to do with..." Snape cut him off.
"Be quiet, you foolish boy! This part does not concern you!" He turned back to the girl, still kneeling.
She said softly, "Dragon heartstring, in oak....twelve inches."
He nodded sagely and Dumbledore sighed.
"Here is the story, Anchoret. I will start in the beginning, when I was in school. One morning, at the very beginning of my fifth year, I was in Potions class with the Gryffindors. We were assigned partners for a shrinking potion experiment. I was partnered with my enemy...Harry's father, James Potter. We didn't know that a new student would be coming in that day. You see...we didn't know!"
His voice had risen to a yell, and Dumbledore said sharply, "Severus! There is no time...please continue." Snape started again. "Yes, well. I was sitting at my desk with James beside me, when in the door walked Lily Evans."
Snape was now trembling as he told his tale, the pain of remembering was almost too much for him to bear. He continued shakily. "Every time I looked at her I felt ill and anxious; James, however, could look at her normally, and soon the looks became more meaningful. I looked at her and knew that I loved her. I knew this, Anchoret, as surely as James Potter knew it. I was so in love with her, and so hurt, that I went to the Headmaster at the time, pleading for help. Does this sound familiar, you three?" He looked at the three teens sitting in the room and knew that they were starting to understand.
"The Headmaster gathered the three of us together in this very office, and told me something that broke my heart, and tore my spirit away. He told me that when two people were meant for one another, the bond that they feel immediately after seeing one another is a physical thing. Like a wave rushing from one to another. He told me that when Lily walked in, the wave that came from her was meant for James. James! Not me... It turns out that I was merely in the way, you see."
Severus was looking into Anchoret's eyes and he seemed not to see the look of disbelief on Harry's face or the look of concern that had creased the Headmaster's features. His voice increased in volume as he continued.
"I got all the anxiety and the pain of being in love and James got all the joy. She fell in love with James on sight, but since I was mixed up in it all, she also felt a strange bond with me. Which could have turned into love!" Snape was now very red and he was shaking. "I had to go through it alone because I was in the way!"
Anchoret leaned forward and whispered something to the cold, dark man who so strangely knelt before her. Severus calmed down enough to say coldly and clearly, looking directly at Harry, "And that is what happened with you, Potter. You were in the way."
Snape looked deep into Harry's eyes and sneered. "All's well that ends well."
********
Harry couldn't, wouldn't believe what Snape was saying. It was so hard, and so terrible, that he would not accept what he was saying. Maybe if it had come from Dumbledore, or even Hagrid, he would have believed the awful truth. But not from this man...not from Severus Snape. He was trying to tell Anchoret who to choose!
Anchoret turned to Harry then, and as if reading his mind said softly, "No, Harry...he's trying to explain to me that I have already chosen."
No...no this is not happening. She did not just say that. I won't believe it. It's a spell, a trick! Oh that Malfoy is good, but Anchoret belongs to me. "To me!" His words rang out loudly in the silent room. "Anchoret, you can't believe him...you can't believe what he's saying! Don't you see that he hates me? He would do anything to keep me from being happy!"
"No, Potter...I'll have you know that if it wasn't for Professor Dumbledore here, I would have still been out there, gathering information about things you are too young to understand! I do not concern myself with your happiness, Harry. This is simply the way things are, and you must accept it! The moment I came back I saw that the girl had already chosen. I knew it was exactly the way it had been with me. The same game, but different players. Only this time Potter loses."
"Severus, that's enough. You have done your job...you have told the story. It is time to let the past go. Live Severus, and don't think on what might have been. You may go."
Severus stood up and crossed the room to the door. He turned back and looked at Anchoret, as if he could will her to be Lily, just for an instant...but she was not. He sighed and left the room and the castle, taking his cold memories with him.
Dumbledore looked at Harry and Anchoret. Draco was still sitting very still in his chair, blinking rapidly. "Anchoret....it's time that you said your goodbyes. You will have to leave to do whatever it is that must be done. And God help you... you must take Draco."
Anchoret's eyes took fire and she stood. "That I will do, Headmaster. Thank you for everything...I have grown to love you all. I'll be back, I swear it."
"I have no doubt of that, Anchoret. Now I suggest that you and Harry say your farewells here, and then you need to go. Time is running out. We shall miss you...Harry and I will tell everyone what happened, and you know that you are always welcome back."
"I know. How will you tell Draco's father?"
"Leave that to me." Dumbledore walked out.
Anchoret turned to Draco first, and the smile that she gave him told him that she had heard the words...even when he hadn't spoken them aloud. He blinked happily but didn't move.
"Harry."
He was hurting. It had all happened so fast...so fast.
"Don't you see, Harry? It was only the illusion of love....it felt real enough at the time, but it was never meant for us to be anything more than friends. You have your life here, and you can help in a very special way, here." She touched his chest, over his heart. "As long as I know that you are here, and safe...and waiting for my return, I can concentrate on my job...my destiny. And you are a part of that destiny, even though I did not choose you. You chose me...and I am the lucky one for that."
His heart was swelling at her words. She was right. Even though they weren't soul mates, they were friends...which was just as good, in its own very special way. He would weep for her when she was gone, yes...and he would rejoice with the others when she returned. And yes....there was no love lost between him and Draco, but he finally realized that neither was there love lost between him and Anchoret. It was still there, although subtly, comfortingly different. He smiled at her with an effort that almost broke her heart with the pain of it, and he stood up.
"I'll tell the others that you'll be back. We will miss you, Anchoret...goodbye."
With these words he strode over to the office door, but at the last moment he ran back to Anchoret and caught her up in a warm and friendly kiss.
She kissed him back, for an instant, then he smiled and pulled away.
"I've always wanted to do that."
She laughed, and wept as he left.
********
Draco and a blushing Anchoret made their way down the staircase and into the open air of the lawn. Harry almost smiled at the look on Anchoret's face...and the one on Draco's. Ron said next to him, "I didn't know Malfoy could even smile, let alone beam." Hermione elbowed him and he gasped. "What?"
********
Anchoret and Draco stood out on the lawn of Hogwarts and turned to one another, alone at last. Draco spoke softly. "I love you, Anchoret."
"I know. I love you, too. Now let's get going."
"Not before I try this again," said Draco, smiling. He kissed her softly, gently, as they melted into one another and faded from view.
Sometimes, in the course of their long and dark journey, Anchoret would remember that scene and look at Draco, bedraggled and dirty beside her, and she would smile.
Well...that's all she wrote. I have had such fun writing this story and I was so sad to see it end, but it means I can concentrate on other fic ideas I have brewing. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
(part seventeen)
Anchoret looked at Harry as they followed Ron and Hermione inside. She was more frightened than she had ever been in her life. Ron and Hermione turned to them as they walked past the Great Hall. "I guess you're on your own, now..." Ron said softly. "You know we can't go with you."
Harry and Anchoret nodded numbly. So soon...so soon and it would all be over. Harry's good spirits had fled, and he was now trembling with panic and fear. Anchoret looked as if she wouldn't make it to Dumbledore's office. He put his arm around her to steady her, and they walked on in silence...only punctuated by the occasional whimper from Anchoret.
They came to the statue that hid the entrance. "Fizzing Whizbees," Anchoret whispered softly. The gargoyle moved out of place quietly, as it had never done before. The whole castle seemed cloaked in silence. An air of forboding followed them as they struggled up the stairs, Harry now completely supporting Anchoret. He turned his head to look at her for perhaps the last time, and saw that she was only a faint outline, although she felt solid enough in his encircling arm. It's as if she's already gone....
The door opened and the Headmaster looked at them in alarm. "Harry...sit her down, over there. Thank you. Now we must hurry. It all must fall into place...for all of you."
Anchoret had not seen Snape or Draco yet. She asked, "Where's George?" Dumbledore spoke softly, as if he feared more than a whisper would simply carry her away. "He's not a part of what must happen today, Anchoret. He will see you again, perhaps. One day...." She felt sure that she would see him again. This thought gave her comfort and strength enough to become solid once more.
"Tell us, Headmaster."
"All right....Do you see that man, standing by the window there? Well that is Professor Snape. He has come back from very far away indeed to tell us something of vital importance."
Anchoret and Harry both looked over at Snape, who looked back with a coldness and a bitterness that made Anchoret shiver and Harry wince. Draco sat in a purple chair in front of Fawkes' cage, unmoving. He seemed to be asleep.
"I had to do a spell, Anchoret. Draco was frantic when we called him in. He was worried about you, child." Anchoret nodded. Then she got up and did something so strange that none of them in the room could move for watching her. She walked over to Draco and touched his forehead with a shining hand, and he woke up. He looked up at Anchoret and smiled, then he leaned back in his chair, calm and waiting.
"Go on, Headmaster. We are all ready to hear what you have to say."
"I think that Severus should be the one to tell you. He is, after all, the one who can solve this whole mystery."
At those words Snape came and knelt in front of Anchoret and Harry's chairs. He never would have done, but something about the girl made him want to pay a strange homage to her. He tried to speak, almost on the verge of weeping. Harry couldn't help but be stunned. What is this?
Snape spoke finally, in a calm voice.
"Ahh, Anchoret. It's been a long time....such a long time since I have experienced this. I don't know where to begin, but I suppose I shall start by asking you for the final piece of this puzzle....What is the makeup of your wand?"
Anchoret was puzzled. Harry said, "I don't see what that has to do with..." Snape cut him off.
"Be quiet, you foolish boy! This part does not concern you!" He turned back to the girl, still kneeling.
She said softly, "Dragon heartstring, in oak....twelve inches."
He nodded sagely and Dumbledore sighed.
"Here is the story, Anchoret. I will start in the beginning, when I was in school. One morning, at the very beginning of my fifth year, I was in Potions class with the Gryffindors. We were assigned partners for a shrinking potion experiment. I was partnered with my enemy...Harry's father, James Potter. We didn't know that a new student would be coming in that day. You see...we didn't know!"
His voice had risen to a yell, and Dumbledore said sharply, "Severus! There is no time...please continue." Snape started again. "Yes, well. I was sitting at my desk with James beside me, when in the door walked Lily Evans."
Snape was now trembling as he told his tale, the pain of remembering was almost too much for him to bear. He continued shakily. "Every time I looked at her I felt ill and anxious; James, however, could look at her normally, and soon the looks became more meaningful. I looked at her and knew that I loved her. I knew this, Anchoret, as surely as James Potter knew it. I was so in love with her, and so hurt, that I went to the Headmaster at the time, pleading for help. Does this sound familiar, you three?" He looked at the three teens sitting in the room and knew that they were starting to understand.
"The Headmaster gathered the three of us together in this very office, and told me something that broke my heart, and tore my spirit away. He told me that when two people were meant for one another, the bond that they feel immediately after seeing one another is a physical thing. Like a wave rushing from one to another. He told me that when Lily walked in, the wave that came from her was meant for James. James! Not me... It turns out that I was merely in the way, you see."
Severus was looking into Anchoret's eyes and he seemed not to see the look of disbelief on Harry's face or the look of concern that had creased the Headmaster's features. His voice increased in volume as he continued.
"I got all the anxiety and the pain of being in love and James got all the joy. She fell in love with James on sight, but since I was mixed up in it all, she also felt a strange bond with me. Which could have turned into love!" Snape was now very red and he was shaking. "I had to go through it alone because I was in the way!"
Anchoret leaned forward and whispered something to the cold, dark man who so strangely knelt before her. Severus calmed down enough to say coldly and clearly, looking directly at Harry, "And that is what happened with you, Potter. You were in the way."
Snape looked deep into Harry's eyes and sneered. "All's well that ends well."
********
Harry couldn't, wouldn't believe what Snape was saying. It was so hard, and so terrible, that he would not accept what he was saying. Maybe if it had come from Dumbledore, or even Hagrid, he would have believed the awful truth. But not from this man...not from Severus Snape. He was trying to tell Anchoret who to choose!
Anchoret turned to Harry then, and as if reading his mind said softly, "No, Harry...he's trying to explain to me that I have already chosen."
No...no this is not happening. She did not just say that. I won't believe it. It's a spell, a trick! Oh that Malfoy is good, but Anchoret belongs to me. "To me!" His words rang out loudly in the silent room. "Anchoret, you can't believe him...you can't believe what he's saying! Don't you see that he hates me? He would do anything to keep me from being happy!"
"No, Potter...I'll have you know that if it wasn't for Professor Dumbledore here, I would have still been out there, gathering information about things you are too young to understand! I do not concern myself with your happiness, Harry. This is simply the way things are, and you must accept it! The moment I came back I saw that the girl had already chosen. I knew it was exactly the way it had been with me. The same game, but different players. Only this time Potter loses."
"Severus, that's enough. You have done your job...you have told the story. It is time to let the past go. Live Severus, and don't think on what might have been. You may go."
Severus stood up and crossed the room to the door. He turned back and looked at Anchoret, as if he could will her to be Lily, just for an instant...but she was not. He sighed and left the room and the castle, taking his cold memories with him.
Dumbledore looked at Harry and Anchoret. Draco was still sitting very still in his chair, blinking rapidly. "Anchoret....it's time that you said your goodbyes. You will have to leave to do whatever it is that must be done. And God help you... you must take Draco."
Anchoret's eyes took fire and she stood. "That I will do, Headmaster. Thank you for everything...I have grown to love you all. I'll be back, I swear it."
"I have no doubt of that, Anchoret. Now I suggest that you and Harry say your farewells here, and then you need to go. Time is running out. We shall miss you...Harry and I will tell everyone what happened, and you know that you are always welcome back."
"I know. How will you tell Draco's father?"
"Leave that to me." Dumbledore walked out.
Anchoret turned to Draco first, and the smile that she gave him told him that she had heard the words...even when he hadn't spoken them aloud. He blinked happily but didn't move.
"Harry."
He was hurting. It had all happened so fast...so fast.
"Don't you see, Harry? It was only the illusion of love....it felt real enough at the time, but it was never meant for us to be anything more than friends. You have your life here, and you can help in a very special way, here." She touched his chest, over his heart. "As long as I know that you are here, and safe...and waiting for my return, I can concentrate on my job...my destiny. And you are a part of that destiny, even though I did not choose you. You chose me...and I am the lucky one for that."
His heart was swelling at her words. She was right. Even though they weren't soul mates, they were friends...which was just as good, in its own very special way. He would weep for her when she was gone, yes...and he would rejoice with the others when she returned. And yes....there was no love lost between him and Draco, but he finally realized that neither was there love lost between him and Anchoret. It was still there, although subtly, comfortingly different. He smiled at her with an effort that almost broke her heart with the pain of it, and he stood up.
"I'll tell the others that you'll be back. We will miss you, Anchoret...goodbye."
With these words he strode over to the office door, but at the last moment he ran back to Anchoret and caught her up in a warm and friendly kiss.
She kissed him back, for an instant, then he smiled and pulled away.
"I've always wanted to do that."
She laughed, and wept as he left.
********
Draco and a blushing Anchoret made their way down the staircase and into the open air of the lawn. Harry almost smiled at the look on Anchoret's face...and the one on Draco's. Ron said next to him, "I didn't know Malfoy could even smile, let alone beam." Hermione elbowed him and he gasped. "What?"
********
Anchoret and Draco stood out on the lawn of Hogwarts and turned to one another, alone at last. Draco spoke softly. "I love you, Anchoret."
"I know. I love you, too. Now let's get going."
"Not before I try this again," said Draco, smiling. He kissed her softly, gently, as they melted into one another and faded from view.
Sometimes, in the course of their long and dark journey, Anchoret would remember that scene and look at Draco, bedraggled and dirty beside her, and she would smile.
Well...that's all she wrote. I have had such fun writing this story and I was so sad to see it end, but it means I can concentrate on other fic ideas I have brewing. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
