Untitled
Disclaimer: Not mine! No money! Don't sue! Please?
Author's Note: Result of no sleep, frustration over other fics and wanting to
get SOMETHING out. Basically, a lot of ramble with no point.
Can anyonething of a title? Cuz I so can't...?
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Insomnia's a funny thing. Most people, or at least from what I know, abhor this malfunction of the mind. I've never had a big problem with it though but then, I'm not exactly most people either. Night gives me time to think, time which simply doesn't happen during what I like to dub real life'. That oddity is suspended for the few brief hours where most sane and normal people are tucked snug in their nice little homes in their nice little beds. But in this suspended moment, which can last anywhere from a moment to eternity, Duo Maxwell comes out to play.
I like it here, this school we're at right now. Another rich-kids resort, but people here a kinda nice, and it has the most breathtaking grounds. That's what I'm looking at now, sitting on the window ledge and gazing out over the dark landscape bathed in moon glow. I wonder if people who live on Earth appreciate what a gift each day is here. Where weather' isn't just the result of some bloke in overalls twisting a massive dial somewhere, where night' isn't just a large switch bringing down the contained lighting of a big metal ring in the skies. If they appreciate the beauty of the moon which looks like a massive graveyard from the colonies but looks so magnificent and inspiring to those here on Earth. The stars are the same though, no matter where you are. They're still there, even if they make slightly different patters. It's like a massive canvas that someone has taken to with the most amazing paint ever created, spraying the sparkling twinkles through out the blackness and lighting up the dark corners of the universe. They've been written about as things of beauty, which are mysterious in that ethereal beauty – yet from out there, that is what we look like. I often wonder if someone out there in the far reaches of the galaxy, someone else is looking up into the sky at our sun and thinking the same thing.
It might surprise some people to see me now most definitely one of them would be the guy sleeping over the other side of the room right now. My partner. Heero Yuy. The perfect soldier. I have to laugh at that. Perfect soldier? He might have inhuman endurance, strength, a strangle hold on his own emotions and a stunning ass, but he aint exactly perfect. I suppose to most, to the nut case professors, to our fellow pilots, he might seem so. But I could rattle off quite a list now about how imperfect he is. Oh, don't get me wrong, I totally admire the guy, even if he is completely mental, but well, there's more to bein' a soldier then having a good aim. It's also about using what you have, being able to function in any given situation and being able to distinguish what is fundamentally right' – not just perform a given task. Otherwise, why would humans still be around? Heero's been built like a robot, and has all the mistakes and fallibility of a robot, mainly based on his total lack of understanding of human emotion. Dr J is a bastard for making him like this, and he's also a dumb shit. He thinks that Heero's lack of emotion is a good thing, and sometimes it is, but most of the time it's not. Heero can't judge people, doesn't have that gut instinct which, in my humble opinion, every fighter needs. He also doesn't know how to use and manipulate these emotions unless he's directly told how to. He also looks like a anti-social tight ass when we're at schools like this one, cuz he's such a hottie, but he shuns everyone in favor of his stupid laptop. It's just not right. Heh. But see, he doesn't get any of that, doesn't understand when I try to explain it either, in my own warped way.
That's another thing me. I've been assigned as his partner, and I can tell it pisses him off like nobodies business. He thinks I'm a weakness, a liability because of my personality and attitude. But he made that judgement, and believes it in so totally he's never questioned it where he should have. Humans are catogorizable like peas or something, and everyone has their hidden strengths. He's never bothered to find what I can do, how I can help and what my real liabilities are. He hasn't found out that I can be virtually undetectable when I want, that I might not be as strong as he is – but I'm just as fast, if not faster then him. He hasn't inquired about any special strengths of Deathscythe just looked at the blueprints for my bud. But any Gundam is more then just a blueprint and Deathscythe has always had my special additions. He also doesn't understand that even though I jack off in class, I'm not a total moron, and just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I don't listen and watch. So I guess the saying is totally true. Nobody's perfect.
My philosophical thoughts are getting the better of me again, and Heero over there is murmuring in his sleep. Nightmares are so hard to banished, even for one who has their emotions suppressed like he does. I'll go over there and comfort him now, like I do every night I see him like this, even though he doesn't know I do, or even that he dreams. Maybe one day I'll wake him up instead, and he'll have to acknowledge that he too is just a human being. But for now, I'll continue to try to melt his cool façade with my smiles, and maybe one day he will understand emotions. And then well, then he will be perfect. Perfect in my eyes that is.
~owari~
