A/N: Any remaining sanity is pretty much shot to hell in this chapter -_-;;

Chapter 4

There was a blinding flash of green light, and sparks flew out of the torn halves of the book like fireworks. A hurricane-force wind accompanied the green waves of brightness and Zim and Dib hastily dropped their parts of the spell book and dove to the floor.

"You jerk!" Dib shouted over the howling of the wind. "You ripped the book! You can NEVER rip a spell book! Are you a complete idiot!?"

"If you hadn't come over here and started flinging your filthy MAGIC around, none of this would have happened!" Zim shot back.

The green light shone brighter and the room around them began to fade. "We have to put the book back together!" Dib yelled. "If we don't we'll eventually be sucked into a dimension created by the warp of all that power being released!"

Zim blinked in irritation. "Do you just make this stuff up as you go along?"

"Just help me put it back together!" Dib snapped.

"And just how are we supposed to do that!?"

"There's a spell for this. It's in there for emergencies incase this ever happens, and it'll join the two halves of the book back together again and seal the power back inside."

"You really are making this stuff up, aren't you."

"Just help me find the uniting spell! It's the only way to put the book back together!" Dib shouted impatiently and began crawling towards the book against the force of the raging wind. He was only centimeters away when the book seemed to explode and all the pages flew into the air.

"SON OF A-…!" Dib stopped himself before the story could turn 'PG13' and began grabbing the loose papers flying by. "Zim! Help me find that spell! And hurry!" he said, gesturing to the surrounding room. Zim saw in terror that there was now a gaping black void where the roof had been that was slowly spreading down the walls. He shuffled across the floor on hands and knees, searching for the missing spell in a panicked frenzy.

A moment later neither of them had turned up anything, and the strange magic being unleashed was having some unusual effects on the pair. Zim was now finding it quite easy to move across the floor, seeing as how his arms and legs had turned into wheels, but it was kinda hard getting a grip on the papers without any hands.

Dib at least ad a better advantage, having sprouted insect-like wings and about four more arms. He zipped through the paper-infested air until he changed into a rather cute little wiener dog and dropped to the ground. Or at least what remained of the ground; the blackness was now creeping over the tiles quickly. There wasn't much time left.

"GIR!" Zim, now in the form of a giant banana, called to his mechanical slave. "Help us find the right page!"

GIR just sat on the couch, which somehow was unfazed by the ensuing pandemonium, and giggled. "Hee hee, silly talking banana. How'd you get out of my head?"

Zim grumbled and vowed that if he ever got out of this, he'd have to look into this 'talking head-fruit' of GIR's. It was starting to creep him out lately. "Just forget it," he sighed.

Zim and Dib continued to search, transforming more and more frequently as the dark dome of doom closed in on them (Hee hee, I like that. Dark dome of dooooooom! ^_^). Among the things they changed into were a burrito, a piece of dryer lint, a blender, a used band-aid (eew!), a wolf, an adorable little 'Dib' doll, an etch-a-sketch, a PEZ dispenser, Jhonen Vasquez, an Eskimo, and one of those little squeaky toys that the eyes pop out of when you squeeze it.

The frantic duo skimmed through the papers as fast as they could, but it was too late. Finally, the void was nearly complete, and a green ring of energy shot out from the edge of the remaining circle and lifted Dib and Zim into the air.

"We're doomed! DOOOOOMED!" Zim wailed, sobbing into the skirt of the fairy princess outfit he was now wearing.

It looked like the end, Dib thought, as he and Zim floated up through the swirling green vortex to be swallowed by the inescapable darkness. Well, maybe being sucked into another dimension won't be so bad. It's not like this is the first time it's happened, right? Oh, who am I kidding! It's hopeless! He wiped at his eyes with a purple tentacle and plucked a nearby paper out of the air to blow his nose on. His eyes grew wide and he gasped when he saw what was on it.

"Hey! This is it! This is the uniting spell!" he exclaimed, thinking he'd never felt so relieved in his life. He and Zim were mere inches from the black hole, so he read out the spell quicker than he'd ever read out anything before.

There was another burst of dazzling light.


Dib sat up and rubbed his head. Opening his eyes, he was elated to find that the room was exactly the way it had been with every single thing perfectly back in place.

"Yes! I did it!" he cheered, getting up and walking over to where the spell book sat placidly on the floor, back in one piece as if it'd never caused such a space-warping disturbance. He picked it up and regarded it as if he were holding a dead rat.

"I never want to see this thing again," he declared, and as if taking the hint, the book vanished in his hands. "I'll just stick to the paranormal from now on. Let someone else mess with this occult stuff," he said dusting his hands off. Then he noticed that one of the hands he was dusting had a black, rubber glove on it. "Huh? How'd that happen? Oh well, must be some leftover residue from all that transforming."

The boy walked over to the couch where GIR, somehow completely unaffected by any of the previous turmoil, sat slurping on an Ice Sucky. "Oh, hiya Master!" he bubbled as Dib approached.

"Huh?" Dib narrowed an eye, puzzled. He'd thought the little robot only referred to Zim as 'Master'. And speaking of that, where was Zim anyway? He hadn't seen him since he'd cast the final spell. Dib scanned the room, but didn't see the alien anywhere.

"Zim?"

"I'm right here," said Zim's voice close to his ear. Dib whipped around only to find no one there.

"Where?"

"I'm right here standing by the couch you nitwit! Are you blind? Where are you at?"

"I'm standing next to the couch… too…" Dib suddenly sensed something was completely, hideously, and unbelievably wrong. He gulped, filling with absolute dread. He turned his head only to meet two, large, ruby-red eyes.

"Zim!?"

"Dib!?"

The Irken and the Human tried to back away from one another, but found it quite impossible.

"What in the-…!?" the two uttered simultaneously as they realized what'd happened.

"Heeheehee! Look Mr. Banana-in-my-head- Master's got a big, funny new head!" GIR laughed, but the robot's high-pitched giggles were drowned out by a bizarre duet of horrified screams that could be heard outside the Irken fortress all the way up and down the cul-de-sac.

THE END


A/N: And what an end it is!… Um… okay maybe not. Chapters 3 and 4 turned out really strange for some reason. I don't know WHAT happened! I'm amazed that I wrote this thing while sober and NOT under the influence of any narcotics. This is the weirdest thing I ever wrote, seriously. I think I freaked myself out with this fic, especially the ending. I get the odd feeling that a lot of ZADR fans would like what I did there LOL (just kidding of course) Hopefully I made you laugh with this story, or at least didn't disturb the bananas in your heads… too much. ^_^

One thing I'd like to mention before I end this insanity: I got a little confusion over this, so let me be extremely politically correct now and try and explain that when I used the words 'magic' and 'spells' in this fic, I did NOT mean for this to refer to anything involving Wicca, Witchcraft, or any other set of religious beliefs involving 'real' magick (spelled with a 'K'), so please don't anyone be offended by it. This was strictly Harry Potter-type fantasy magic, so chill, kay? Thank you veddy much.