Category: Angst, AU
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4
Rating: R (?)
Disclaimer: Standard. You know them all by now so I won't bore you with a repeat.
Notes: This takes place in a world of my own making, where things can and are twisted into strange things. So what doesn't seem possible is. There are M/M relationships in this fic (I'm very much a 1x2/3x4 fan.) so if boys being together (and I do mean together) bothers you don't read.
Twisted Fates Part Seventeen
By SilverLady
Duo lay quietly, his mind too fogged for him to think clearly. He couldn't remember what had happened and why he was laying in bed. His last clear memory was of going to the barn to get some onions.
The baby! Suddenly he gasped, remembering the horrible pain in his abdomen. He instinctively laid his hand on his belly, but instead of the comforting swell, there seemed to be nothing.
Then the memories of what had happened ripped through him. The pain and Trowa picking him up. Of Adrianna's soft voice and the prick of the needle.
My baby? Where is my baby? What happened? Please, no. Not my baby. Where? What?
"Duo." The voice was quiet and low, yet it slid through his chaotic thoughts easily. Heero? What does he want? To yell at me some more and call me names? No more. I don't want him. I hate him. Go away. I want my baby. Liar. You still love him. Want him to love you. No. He hates me. Every reason. Don't deserve him. Don't deserve anything. My baby. Where is he? It's too soon. No. Please. Not my baby. Ken. Is he gone too? "Ken?"
Heero gently stroked Duo's arm. "It's all right," he soothed. "Ken is right here." He looked down at the frightened boy. "Talk to your Daddy, Ken. Let him know you're okay."
The boy nodded slowly. He knew something bad had happened to his Daddy, but he didn't know what. "Daddy. I'm right here Daddy. You gonna be okay, right Daddy?"
Duo reached out with frantic fingers, seeking his son. "Ken? Where are you?"
Ken placed his hand within reached of his father's questing fingers. Duo quickly and tightly grasped his hand, making Ken gasp a little. "I'm right here, Daddy."
Slowly Duo's other hand came up and he ran shaking fingers across Ken's cheek. "You are all right?"
"I'm fine Daddy."
"The baby?"
"I don't know Daddy." Ken looked up at Heero, confusion written clearly on his face. Was that the bad thing that had happened? Had something bad happened to the baby in his Daddy's tummy? Was that what he had meant?
Heero shifted forward a little. "Ken. Why don't you go and tell the others that your Daddy is awake. I'm sure they would like to know."
Ken looked reluctant to leave his Daddy's side, but a look from Heero made him nod. It was obvious that Heero wanted to talk to his Daddy about grown up things. Maybe the pretty blond one will tell me what's wrong with my Daddy and the baby.
He carefully pried his hand away from Duo's tight grip and headed for the door.
"And why don't you get them to make your Daddy some tea as well," Heero added as the boy opened the door.
"Okay."
"Why did you do that?" Duo demanded, his voice thin and tired.
"Because he has enough to worry about without adding more. Besides I'm sure Quatre can help him to understand. He's always been much better at words than I."
Duo turned his head away. "The baby?"
"A boy."
Duo sighed. "My son?"
"Adrianna did everything she could, but he was stillborn."
Duo clenched his eyes shut and gripped the covers tightly. "He's gone?"
"I'm sorry Duo. There was nothing anyone could have done."
Duo ignored the tears that slowly ran down his cheeks. "Don't lie to me. If I hadn't gone out there. If I hadn't...."
Heero placed his hand on Duo's. "It wasn't anything you did..."
Duo jerked away, sitting up and yanking the covers around him; ignoring the shooting pain that ran through his body. "I said don't lie to me! It was my fault! I should have known better! I should have done things differently! I should have...."
Heero reached forward and grabbed both of Duo's hands in his own. "It wasn't anything you did. You did everything you were supposed to. She said you had already said that there was something different this time. Adrianna said that the fault wasn't yours. It was the father's. There was something wrong with the baby. Something that made it die. That it was amazing it had lived as long at it had."
"Not It!" Duo cried out, trying to free himself from Heero's grip. "He! My son!" Duo suddenly crumpled in on himself and began to cry in earnest. "My son. Oh god, my son."
Heero gently pulled Duo to him, wrapping his arms around him and held him as he cried. "Yes, Duo, mourn. Mourn the loss of your son. But please, remember the one that you have. Don't blame yourself for something that you had nothing to do with."
For long minutes Duo cried as if his heart would break, but finally the bout of weeping eased. When he made motions of backing away, Heero let him go. He knew that it would take time to mend things, for Duo and with him.
"Why this sudden bit of caring?" Duo whispered.
"It's not sudden," Heero replied, just as softly. "Just long over due." He sighed as he straightened, trying not to put too much weight on his leg. "We are going to stay here until after Quatre's child is born, if that is all right with you. I wouldn't want to hurt you anymore, so if you don't feel you can handle Quatre being near, we'll move on."
"Why stay?"
"Because we want to and because I think you need to have people near."
"To take care of me?" There was a hint of the old stubborn Duo in the words.
Heero smirked slightly. "No. To help. Everyone, even you, needs help sometimes. Besides, Adrianna wants you in bed for at least a week."
"I don't think her husband would like that."
Heero shook his head. "Duo?"
"What?"
"It's going to be all right. Just give yourself some time."
"Easy for you to say." Duo rolled over. "Where is he?"
Heero blinked. "Who?"
"My son. What did you do with the body? Throw it out with the garbage."
"No. We were waiting for you to wake up so that you could tell us what you wanted to do. I don't know what burial practices your people use. I do remember you being sad because your parents had no graves. I thought that you would want to bury your son properly."
Duo shuddered slightly, amazed that Heero had remembered that long ago day. "There is a tree just beyond the barn. It stands pretty much alone. It would be a nice place for a grave I think."
Heero nodded. "Then that is what we shall do."
"I want to be there."
"You are still weak, you should....."
"I want to be there to bury my son." Duo closed his eyes. "David Robert."
"What?"
"He should have a name. David Robert Maxwell."
Heero nodded. He would see to it that there was a proper grave marker for the child, with the name his father had given him. "That is a good name. He will go to the next world carrying it proudly."
Duo sighed. "Get me when you are ready."
"I will." Heero grabbed the crutches that Adrianna had reluctantly left for him. "Rest until then."
"What about my tea?" Duo voice was slurred as sleep overtook him.
"I'll keep it warm for you."
*****
Quatre looked up as Heero made his way into the room. "Well?"
"Where's Trowa or Wufei?"
"In the kitchen. Why?"
Heero nodded as he continued on to the kitchen.
Quatre frowned at Heero's retreating back. There were times when he would love to wring his dear stepbrother's neck. Now being one of them. With a little huff he got to his feet and followed.
*****
Heero paused in the doorway, taking note of the scene before him. Trowa was sitting next to the table, a sleeping Ken in his lap, while Wufei was at the stove, apparently trying to boil water.
"Very domestic," he commented.
Trowa looked up. "Practice."
Heero nodded toward Ken. "Is he all right?"
"I tried to explain a little bit about what happened. He understands that the baby is not in his Daddy's tummy any more and that he is.... not alive. He does have some concept of death, from the animals and things that are on the farm. Mostly he knows that his Daddy is very sad."
Heero nodded. "Duo would like to bury his son out by the large tree beyond the barn. I told him we would see to it, but he wants to be there. I don't know what kind of ceremony his people do, but I thought it would help him."
Wufei turned. "There have already been a couple of people by to offer their help. I told them I would let them know. But I know what tree you speak of and can begin making the grave there, if you wish." He frowned slightly. "It would give me something to do."
Heero nodded. "Sounds good."
"What about a marker?" Quatre asked as he came in behind Heero. He had heard most of the conversation.
"A what?"
"A grave stone. Something to mark the grave. Usually with the name and dates on it."
"I know what it is. What about it?"
"We need to make something, even if it's only temporary one until a more permanent one can be made."
"Can you do that?"
"Yes. I just need to find a small piece of wood."
"Then would you please?" Heero paused. "David Robert Maxwell," he said in answer to the unasked question. "He named him David Robert."
Quatre nodded. "I'll get right at it." He headed through the kitchen and out the back door. Wufei moved to follow him.
"Quatre?" Heero spoke up.
Quatre paused. "Yes."
"Could you make two more while you are at it? With the names James Andrew and Angelina Catherine on them?"
"Sure."
"Thank you."
Quatre just gave him an odd smile, then followed Wufei out.
"Who are they?" Trowa asked.
"Duo's parents. They never had a proper grave. Maybe it's time we give them one."
"Penance?"
"Remembrance."
*****
It was late afternoon when Heero reentered Duo's room. Everything was ready. He had been a little surprised at the number of people that had suddenly shown up at Duo's door. It showed him just how valued a person Duo was to the small community. They had come to show him their support. It was comforting to know that Duo would never be alone again, but it also should him that there was no way Duo would ever leave this place he called home. That if Heero wanted any kind of a life with him, it would have to be here, with these people that had taken Duo in as one of their own.
He paused by the bed and looked down at the sleeping figure. Trowa was right. He needed to swallow his pride and admit to Duo what an ass he'd been. That he would do anything to get back in Duo's good graces. Not for the son he had fathered, but for the love and companionship of the man that meant everything to him. Though Ken was a bonus he had not planned on, he knew that Duo was the important thing. That Ken would grow up and have a life of his own, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Duo. No matter what.
Carefully he reached down and touched Duo's arm. "Duo?"
Duo stirred restlessly, but didn't awaken.
"Duo. Wake up. You said you wanted to be there. It's time."
Slowly Duo turned his head. "Who?"
"It's Heero. Trowa will be up in a minute to get you."
"Get me?"
"You said you wanted to be there. When we buried your son. It's time. Everything is ready. We're just waiting for you."
A shudder ran through Duo's body. He didn't want to think about what had happened. He didn't want to remember. "Now?"
"Yes. If you'd rather not...."
Duo slowly rolled over and sat up. "No. I have to be there."
Heero nodded, understanding. But before he could say anything the door opened and Trowa walked into the room.
"Is he ready?"
"Yes," Duo answered.
Trowa walked over to the bed. "Did you want to change?"
Duo ran his hand over the old nightshirt he was wearing. The thought of going through the torture of putting clothes on, especially pants, right now was something he didn't want to think about. "No. I'm fine." You'll have to take me as I am.
Trowa reached down and carefully lifted Duo into his arms. "Just hold on. I'll carry you."
Duo nodded as he rested his head on Trowa's shoulder. A small part of him wished that it was Heero carrying him, but the sound of the crutches behind them reminded him that, even if they were on better terms, Heero still wasn't capable of doing this right now.
*****
When they stepped out into the yard, Duo was surprised at the murmur of voices. He hadn't expected anyone but the four who were staying here to be there.
He felt a small hand on his arm. "Duo?" He recognized the voice as Adrianna's. "How are you feeling?"
That was the dumbest question you've ever asked me. How do you think I'm feeling? I'm going to bury my son. "Numb," Duo whispered.
"Everything will be fine. We just wanted you to know that we are here for you."
"We?"
"Everyone. The whole town came. I don't know how they heard, but they did."
Another hand touched him. "It's gonna be just fine," a voice told him.
"Miss Lily?"
"Course. Who else did you expect?" She leaned in a little closer. "You okay out here with these strangers? I can come stay with you if you'd like."
Duo managed a weak smile, knowing that Trowa had heard. "I'm fine. They've been a great help."
"They'd best be." Duo knew that she was glaring at Trowa.
"I'm sorry, Duo. About what happened. Wish there was something I could do to help," Bill Grendal spoke softly as he came up to them.
Duo managed a weak smile. "I know. Thank you."
One by one the others came forward to offer the condolences and their support. Duo was grateful at the show of love and support these people gave him. It reaffirmed his decision to stay here.
Finally Trowa reached the old tree. Moving slowly he lowered Duo so that he was standing. "Quatre made the marker."
Duo reached out with his hand, not noticing that Trowa helped guided it. Slowly he ran his fingers over the board, tracing the letters that had been cut into it. "David Robert Maxwell. Born too soon. He will be missed."
Duo swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. "Thank you." His hand unconsciously drifted to one side where he found another marker. He frowned as he traced the letters he found. "What?"
"It says James Andrew Maxwell. Never forgotten. And there is another one that says Angelina Catherine. Always in our hearts. Heero asked Quatre to do them. He said it was about time they had something to mark their passing."
Duo rubbed his hand across his nose, stunned that Heero had remembered. Not only that his parents had no grave but their names as well. It had been so long since that day in the park.
"Did you want to say anything?"
Duo nodded weakly. "I love you. Mom, Dad, take care of your grandson for me. Maybe someday we'll meet again."
Slowly he turned around. "Thank you all, for being here. It means a great deal to me. I was taught that as long as you are remembered, you will live on. I know that my son will be remembered and I thank you for that. May he be happy in the world beyond and may I someday join him." Duo managed a weak smile. "But not too soon. I still have another son to raise first."
He felt a small hand take his. "I love you," Ken whispered.
Duo smiled down at him. "I know. I love you too."
Duo almost swore he felt a gentle hand run through his hair, a soft remembrance of a woman long gone. He sighed. "Shall we go home?"
Ken giggled. "Daddy, we are home."
Duo smiled again. "So we are. So we are." He ran his hand through Ken's hair. "Let's go in the house. Daddy's tired."
"Okay." Ken looked up. "You can carry him, Trowa. Like you did before."
Trowa nodded to the boy as he picked him up.
Ken smiled his approval. Things would be all right. He knew it.
******
End. For Now.
