Chapter 5- Regrets in the Revelation



Tai's jaw dropped.

"You are Sora! But why...how...why didn't you..." His voice trailed off, and he stared at her, looking hurt. She winced.

Oh, great. Now what have I done...

Suddenly, his face lit up. "Oh, who cares! You're alive! You're okay! Oh, man, I am so relieved! This is...man!" Before she could realize his motives and duck, he had wrapped her in a huge hug. She struggled, but he didn't notice. "Izzy'll open the portal in two days, and we can go home! Mimi will be so happy, she's been terrified, and she couldn't come to Tokyo, all the flights were booked! You've got to call her the minute we get back! Oh, and the others will all want to hear about what happened to you. Actually, me too. You'll have to tell us the whole story the minute we get home and-"

"But this is home!" Snow exclaimed, pushing him away. Who was he? What was he doing here? Who did he think he was?! And...who did he think she was?

He stumbled back, and stared at her again, utterly confused.

"Sora?"

She sighed. This was going to be difficult.

"Taichi...I'm afraid I don't know what you mean by home. Or Izzy, or a portal, or a Mimi or a Tokyo or any of that. I...I don't know who I am."

"What?"

He didn't understand. She could see it in his face, and it made her wilt. How could she explain to this person whom she had obviously once known so well, that everything he knew about her was suddenly wrong? She sighed and sat down on the floor, burying her face in her hands. Why me...?

Tai was next to her in an instant. "Sora, what's wrong?" he said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Please, at least try to explain..."

Snow steeled herself. Whoever he is, he has the right to know. I have to do this. Besides...maybe he can help after all. Taking her hands from her face, she met his gaze.

"It's a long story...and a short one. We'd better find someplace to sit down."



* * * * *



"...and here you are."

"And here I am," Tai echoed thoughtfully, gazing around the small room they had settled in. It branched off the main hall, but Snow had assured him they wouldn't be disturbed. "So you don't remember a thing?" he asked again.

"Nothing but gray haze and white snow," Snow said sadly, with a faraway look on her face. Tai swallowed hard.

Nothing? How...this is terrible! I can't believe it. Every minute we spent together, every adventure with the others, all of her friends and family, just gone? It's hard to believe she's taking it so well... He paused and corrected himself. No, it isn't. Whatever she calls herself, she's still Sora, and Sora's the strongest girl I know. Of course she's dealing with it. Probably better than I would if it happened to me, in fact.

"Bella thinks it has something to do with the injury I took to my head. She's not sure how to fix it, though. But..."

"But what?" Tai said, snapping back to reality from his worried thoughts.

"I thought that maybe, if it wasn't too much trouble or anything, that you could try to help. If that's okay." Snow looked down at her hands, folded shyly in her lap. What if he says no? This is my only hope...

"Okay?" Tai exclaimed. "Of course it's okay! Whatever you remember or don't remember, Sora, you're still my friend. I'll do anything I can to help." He paused, frowning. "By the way, what do I need to do?"

Snow sighed. "I'm not sure... Maybe we should ask Mojyamon."

"The cook?" Tai said, a little skeptically. Snow shrugged.

"He's pretty smart about this sort of thing. We've had a few talks about it and all, you know? It's really helped. He's busy with lunch, though."

"Oh...well, we can wait, right?" Tai said. Snow giggled.

"I've waited four days. I can wait a few more hours. But, um..."

"Go ahead," Tai said, smiling. Snow blushed.

Why does talking to him do this to me? It's silly...I've only known him for an hour, or less! Still...

"I was wondering...if you would tell me, about those people you mentioned. Izzy, and Mimi, and Tokyo, and Kari. And my family, if I have one."

Tai nodded. "Sure...but, ah, Tokyo is a city. Not a person."

"Oh! Oops..." Snow said, laughing. Tai chuckled.

"I'd be glad to tell you about them. It still seems a little weird, but sure, I'll do it."

"Oh, thank you!" Snow exclaimed, surprising both of them by throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. She pulled back quickly, blushing harder than ever, and Tai laughed nervously, hand behind his head.

"Right...I think I'll start with Mimi, then."

Snow smiled, leaning back against the back of the cushioned bench they were sharing. "Mimi. What a name. So, who is she?"

Tai thought for a minute. "Huh...a ditz, definitely. Airheaded. Narcissistic, though no worse than Matt-we'll get to him later," he added offhand, noticing Snow's confused look. "Oh, and despite all that, one of the sweetest, most loyal, and most loving people I know. Also your best friend, not counting me."

Snow grinned. "Sounds like such a nice person."

"Oh, she is. Loves the color pink. I think if you took away all her pink stuff for a day, she'd shrivel up and die. She even dyed her hair pink once."

Snow giggled. "Weird. I don't think much of pink."

"You never did, so at least I know you haven't changed much," Tai said jokingly. Snow smiled.

"Now who's this Matt?"

"Matt's a ladies man. Totally hung up on Mimi, though. This girl called Jun follows him all over the place. She drives him nuts. Lessee, Matt's blond, plays harmonica and bass guitar, sings like a Matchbox Twenty star..." Snow gave him another perplexed look, and he shrugged. "It's a band. A singing group," he elaborated. "Anyway, he's my other best friend, besides you. But we used to whale the tar out of each other when we were younger. Hated each other. You were always breaking up our fights. You were the only one who could, sometimes. A very calming influence."

"Really."

"Yes, really. What, you don't believe me?"

Snow shrugged. "I don't have much choice, do I? It's not like I have any reference..." At his hurt look, she laughed. "Of course I believe you. I was joking. Don't look so upset, Taichi."

Tai swallowed. "Sorry..." I have got to stop feeling so sick every time I remember that she doesn't know me any more... I'd almost forgotten, somehow. Still...she trusts me. Why? If she really doesn't remember me, what makes her so sure?

Snow was looking at him, expectantly. He sighed and continued.

"Right, then. Let me see... Izzy. Izzy is, for lack of a better word, a computer nerd."

"Computer...nerd?"

"Ah...it's an Earth thing. It means he...likes machines. Uh, yeah. He's also really smart. He's got an answer to just about everything, except for one little thing."

"Which is?" Snow said, raising an eyebrow.

"Girls. He doesn't know what to do with them. Especially when they're crying. One time, when Mimi was in hysterics, his Tentomon told him to make her stop, and he said, 'My laptop can't do everything!'"

"I'm guessing a laptop is one of those 'computer' things?"

"Yeah, that's about right."

"Well, that's silly. How could a machine make a girl feel better?"

"Don't ask me," Tai said, grinning. "His lack of girl skills is going to catch up with him sometime soon, I think."

"Really? Why?" Snow said, realizing she was actually interested in these anecdotes about people she'd never met...well, not in her memory, such as it was, anyway. Maybe there's more left than I thought...if only this works!

"Well, see, there's this girl called Yolei-"

"Ah. I see..." Snow grinned. "She's fond of him, then?"

"Well, I'm not sure," Tai admitted. "There's this other guy, but he's a jerk, and I don't think she likes him anymore. But if he really isn't an item with her anymore, then I think poor Izzy might get his world turned on its ear somewhere in the near future."

Snow laughed. "That should be interesting."

"I know..." Tai agreed.

"So, who else is there?" Snow inquired. Tai shrugged.

"Huh...well, there's TK, Matt's little brother; he's really nice. Very cheerful guy. There's my little sister Kari, who's kind of a pocket psychic. She's got a crush on TK, but she hasn't admitted it to anybody yet...at least, not to my knowledge. There's Joe, your average uptight med student. Well, he's not as bad as he used to be; he's mellowed out a lot since he was younger. He used to be absolutely anal-retentive, though. Never mind what it means!" he blurted hurriedly at Snow's confused look.

"Um, there's Daisuke, Davis for short. He's like me when I was a kid, only worse." Snow stared at him. Oh, yeah...no memory of me as a kid. Man, this is hard... "Ah, hyperactive, and shortsighted. And with a tendency to rush into things without thinking first." She giggled, and Tai shrugged. "What can I say? At least I outgrew it...mostly," he added, remembering his decision to come here.

"Anybody else I should know about?"

"Cody, definitely. He's only eight, but he's a whiz with a kendo stick...it's a fighting art with bamboo swords. I don't know much about it, but it sounds pretty cool. He thinks before he speaks, unlike a lot of people I know, and when he does say something, it's a good idea to listen; he usually has a very good point."

Snow nodded. "I wish he was here, in that case. I could use a little wise counsel."

Tai sighed. So could I...

"What about my family?"

"Huh?"

Snow crossed her arms. "My family. I...do have one, don't I?"

"Of course you do!" Tai exclaimed, surprised. "You have a great mother who loves you! She owns a flower shop, and she wanted you to take over for her when she retired, but you didn't want to. You used to argue a lot, but you got to understand each other better a few years ago, and she learned to let go. She smells like flowers all the time, from working in the shop; it's one of my earliest memories, that smell. I used to spend a lot of time over at your house when I was little. She's really pretty, too. Dark hair, high cheekbones, big eyes."

"She sounds wonderful," Snow sighed, her eyes closed and face lifted slightly to the ceiling as she tried to picture this mother she couldn't remember. Tai smiled at the look on her face; it was almost angelic.

Sora's mother isn't the only beautiful one in their family...

"What about my father?"

Tai winced. "Your father?"

"That's what I said. What's he like? Do I have any sisters or brothers?"

With a sigh, Tai shook his head. "No, no siblings. You're an only child."

"And my father?" Snow insisted, looking hard at him.

"Your father...is dead."

"What?!" Snow cried, her hands going to her face. "What...what happened?

"It was about eight years ago," Tai said, hanging his head. "When you were seven. He and your mom used to own the flower shop together. He was at the register, and a man came in and held him up. There were customers in the store, and the man tried to kidnap one of them, a little girl. He was on the run from a murder...the police said he probably was after fast cash from someplace small and out of the way, and a hostage or two. Your dad tried to stop him when he started to leave with the girl. The man had a gun...he shot him..." Tai sighed. "He died in intensive care. They caught the killer the next day. You...you never liked to talk about it much," he finished lamely. Snow swallowed hard.

There was a long silence.

"Thank you."

"What?" Tai said, looking up. "Why? I just told you-"

"I know what you told me," Snow hurriedly interrupted, as if not wanting to hear the words again. "It must have been...hard. To tell me, I mean. Thank you...for being brave enough to do that for me." She looked shyly up at him, her hair falling into her eyes on the side that wasn't pulled back by her sunflower pin.

Tai smiled. "It was nothing. Your hair's in your eyes, by the way." He suddenly

remembered something, and fished in his pocket. "I believe this is yours," he said, holding out a hand curled around something. As his hand opened, Snow's eyes widened, and she gave a little gasp.

"Oh!"

"Yeah, I think you lost it out in the snow. I found it on my way here. It matches the one you're wearing-"

"No, that's not it," Snow murmured. "I...I remembered..."



She stumbled and fell, the clouds of snow she raised blowing away almost before they could form. Struggling back to her feet, she stubbornly fought onwards, facing into the driving wind. As she reached up to push her hair out of her eyes, her hand touched...nothing but hair.

"No!"

Falling to her knees, she felt about in the snow. It wasn't there. She touched the other side of her head-that one was still there, so cold that it burned her fingers as they brushed it. She floundered in the snow, trying to find it, but it was gone, and she was going in circles. Kneeling in the snow, she began to cry, her tears freezing to her cheeks as they fell. It was gone, and they were all she had left of him here...

Of who?

"Oh, no..." She blindly flailed for the memory, the vital face... "NO! I can't...think... What's happening to me?!"

The snow was stirred up into heaps and hollows behind her as she hurried away, trying not to think, to spare herself the pain. She pushed away the broken memories, burying them as the scudding snow was burying the spatters of blood and tears left to pockmark the snow behind her...



"What's happening to me?" she softly echoed herself from the 'new' memory. Tai gave her a funny look.

"What? Did you remember something?"

"Yes..." she whispered, stunned. Suddenly, she looked up at him, her face an odd mixture of delight and fear. "I...but, it was...and I..."

"Sora?" Tai said tentatively. Snow sighed.

"I remembered...losing the..."

"Barrette?"

"I think so...but it was an awful memory. I was scared, and hurt...I was bleeding all over the snow, and I didn't even know it..." She shivered. Tai reached over to give her a hug.

"Try to remember...please. Just try. I promise, there will be happy memories to go with the scary ones. I promise."

Snow looked up at him, trying to trust him. "Okay..." Closing her eyes, she tried to pull up the names he'd given her. Yolei...Izzy...Mimi... She sighed, relaxing just a little. Taichi...

It was just enough. Her thoughts began to slide backwards, taking her from her loss of the barrette toward this home Taichi had told her about...



Snow...wandering...pain! impact!...flying, no, falling...

And then pure, abject terror, forcing itself into her mind in a flare of blue light and screaming and pain-pain-pain-pain-



"TAICHI!!!"

She wrenched herself out of the memory to find herself covered in a cold sweat, barely able to breathe for fear. It took her a minute to thaw herself enough to realize where she was and what was happening. She was clinging to the boy...Taichi...as though the blue would come and take her away if she let go for even an instant. He was holding her gently, stroking her hair and murmuring to her.

"It's okay...it's all right..."

Slowly, she pulled herself away, drawing herself up to look at him as regally as a queen, though she was shaking like a leaf.

"No. It's not." She swallowed hard, and then suddenly collapsed into her own fear, sobbing into her arms as she lay curled on the sofa. "I can't I can't I can't remember!"

Tai felt fear stab through him like a knife to the heart. "Yes, you can!" he cried, an almost pleading tone in his voice. "You can, Sora, you can!"

"No!" she wailed, curling into a tighter fetal position and trying to block out the traces of blue terror from her mind. "I can't! I won't! I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember!" Her voice rose to a petrified shriek, then broke and faded to a spent breath. "I won't remember," she whispered, with a final sob, and closed her eyes.

_________________________


And the plot thickens... M_~* Oh, and for all you purists out there, yes, I know full well that Sora's dad is a university professor and works with Joe's brother, Jim. I just wrote that part of the story before that episode was aired, and I liked it too much to change it. Like it or lump it, it's staying in. M_M

Thank you, everyone who reviewed! It's good to know I have fans. M_~* Keep 'em coming, and we may just get around to posting the next chapter, Despair in the Decisions, before 2002 rolls around! (That also depends on whether I get a chance to go online between now and when the ball drops. Cross your fingers...) -Ciao, and domo arigatou! Bandit yori O_o