Chapter 6- Despair in the Decisions
Kari's eyes opened to the ceiling of her room, and filled with tears.
"Please..." she whispered, a deep sadness filling her to the bottom of her heart. "Please try..." The room was too dark to see in, but that didn't matter to her. She wasn't truly awake anyway. With a sigh, she rolled over and went back to dreaming, moving to happier pastures, a little farther from home and reality. The memory of the dream wouldn't last, but the feeling of hopelessness would.
The next morning, she woke up with dried tears on her cheeks. It was nothing unusual, although she'd never understood it; one doesn't have to know one has Talents for them to surface without one's knowledge, especially when dreaming. If Kari had ever suspected that her mind wandered through others' minds while she slept, she had never put the suspicion into words, even for herself. Still, it was never fun to wake up with the residue of someone else's sadness or fear still left in traces on her soul, whether she knew the reason for her depression or not.
Of course, she did what she always did when she felt hopeless.
She called TK.
Shoot, he's got enough hope for three people, she thought to herself as she dialed. It is his crest, after all. Besides, talking to him would make a tapeworm feel optimistic. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot about Davis... She smiled weakly at her own joke and waited anxiously for TK to pick up.
"Hello?" she blurted.
"Hi, Kari."
She frowned. "How'd you know it was me?"
"You're the only person I know who calls me at seven in the morning on a vacation day. Everybody with any sense is asleep right now." A tired chuckle. "Besides, Mom has caller ID, remember?"
Kari blushed, glad that he couldn't see her. She'd forgotten that the phone was right next to his bed. She'd probably woken him up. "Oh, yeah...right. Sorry, but I-"
"Couldn't sleep?"
"You read my mind."
"That's your job, not mine. Bad dreams again?"
"Sort of. I don't remember them, but...I have that miserable feeling again."
"I'm sorry. You know, I dreamed about you last night."
Kari blinked, not sure what this was supposed to mean. "You did."
"Yup."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I dreamed that you called me up at six-fifty-three a.m. to talk about your bad dreams...oh, wait." He paused. "Dang."
Kari giggled. "Okay, okay, I get the hint. I'll hang up now."
"No, no, it's okay," TK assured her quickly. "I was teasing."
"I really should let you sleep, TK."
"No, you don't have to. I'm okay, really..." He paused, and she could hear him yawning hugely.
"Good night, TK," Kari said pointedly. He sighed.
"All right. Hey, want to get breakfast or something? In about..." He paused again, and Kari pictured him leaning over to check his bedside clock. "In about four hours?"
"That's more like brunch."
"Okay, we'll get brunch, then. If I have to get up early enough for you to call it breakfast, I won't be good for anything."
"Yeah, I know," Kari said with a smile. "I don't feel much like dining with TK the sleep-deprived vegetable, any more than you feel like being him. Four hours, then. Is Mister Donut okay?"
"Sure..." Another yawn. "Your mom won't mind?"
"'Course not. And hey, it's an escape from boysenberry-yogurt oatmeal with country-fried yams and radish juice."
"You're kidding."
"Unfortunately, no."
"What's the occasion?"
"Tai getting out of his blue funk over Sora and visiting Matt."
"Then it's a lucky thing he isn't at home, or it would put him right back into it."
"No joke." She paused. "I miss him."
"Me too." They both sat, silent, for a while. Then TK laughed. "Okay, as much as I'm enjoying all this wonderful depressing stuff, I really do need to sleep unless you want to be having brunch with Zombie Boy."
Kari smiled. "Okay. See you at Mister Donut."
"See you."
She hung up, then sat back on her bed and sighed.
I wonder if that bad dream I had was because of Tai being gone? I hope not. There's still one more night until he gets back, and even with TK to keep me from falling into a depression or anything, I'm not looking forward to a weekend of dream-induced misery...
* * * * *
"If you'd just try-"
"No. Now stop talking about it."
"But-mmphm!!"
Tai's voice was muffled by the bundle of heavy cloth that Snow thrust into his arms.
"Here. You want to help? Help me with the laundry."
He staggered under the load. "Good grief, these are heavy! What are they?"
Snow shrugged. "Tapestries. They were getting pretty filthy, and I thought I might as well get them clean again." She hurried over to the drying line strung across the improvised washing room and felt another tapestry, deemed it still damp, and turned back to the tub of sooty water in which another of the brightly-colored weavings was soaking.
"Clean...right..." Tai struggled to stay standing. "Ah...where do I put them?"
"Main hall," she said shortly. "Hurry. This batch is almost dry." She gestured to the hanging tapestries, spraying water across the floor from her dripping hands. "Oh, shoot, now I'll have to clean that up, too..." Wincing, she sighed and went back to scrubbing. Tai scowled, but shuffled off down the corridor.
If she would just listen to me, he thought indignantly, beginning to sweat under the load of hangings. Whatever she remembered couldn't have been that bad... Would she really rather stay here forever, washing...tapestries...than remember me? The thought hurt. Sora, the girl he'd known all his remembered life, unwilling to brave a little fear for his sake? They'd saved each other's lives multiple times, and now she was afraid of a little memory?
But she doesn't remember any of that, another, more sensible part of his mind reminded him. She only remembers snow and Fort Winter and fear. And Bella.
Ah, yes. Bella. Tai had met the motherly Frigimon, and had been impressed, maybe even become a little fond of her himself. But honestly, how could Sora just decide that she was her mother? Sure, she was sweet, but her mother? Come on, they didn't even look alike!
He sighed, realizing he'd reached the great hall already. Dropping his load, he dusted off his hands and turned to go back for more.
"Taichi?"
Speak of the Devimon, he thought ruefully, and turned back around.
"What is it, Bella?"
The lady Frigimon was seated by the fire, smiling gently at him. For an enormous white cross between a snowman and a bear, she could be very maternal when she wanted to be.
"Come here, child. I need to talk to you."
"But..." He gestured lamely at the doorway. "Sor...Snow's expecting me to go back for the next load-"
"Snow can wait," Bella said firmly. "This can't. Come and sit."
Bella could also be very commanding. Tai came and sat.
"Well?" he said, dreading her answer. What if she told him to quit asking Sora to remember him?
The Frigimon patted his hand. "You're a good boy. My daughter likes you, whether she'll admit it or not. That speaks well for you; she's a smart girl. But there's something I need to tell you, about this whole memory business."
Here it comes, Tai thought miserably. Goodbye, plan B. Wasn't much of a plan anyway...
"Don't give up."
"What?" Tai looked up at her, genuinely stunned.
"I said don't give up." Bella sighed. "She's stubborn, Snow, but she likes you. She'll give in eventually, but you can't give up on her."
"But..." Tai stared at her. "But I thought you wanted her to be your daughter."
"She's the little one I never had," Bella said with a sigh. "But she's not mine. She belongs to that Mrs. Takenouchi you've told her so much about. I can't take her away from her real mother. I couldn't do that to them." She sighed. "Anyone who raised a daughter like Snow has to be decent, and I can't just...usurp...a decent person's child."
Tai was silent for a long moment. Then he looked up at the motherly Frigimon, who was looking back a bit sadly at him. "I could kiss you," he said solemnly. She laughed and pulled him into an almost literal bear hug.
"I'm glad you're pleased," she said, ruffling his hair with an affectionate paw. "I'd say you were like a son, but...that wouldn't be very nice for you and Snow, now would it?"
Tai blushed, and Bella nodded to herself, satisfied that her guess had been an accurate one.
"I thought not. Take care of her for me, will you?"
"She hardly needs to be taken care of," Tai protested.
"She needs it more than either of you think," Bella said firmly. "That Caesar fellow, or whatever his name was, that did this to her isn't going to be beaten off easily. Not from what you've told us. Promise me you'll take care of Snow." When Tai looked reluctant, she reached over to rest a paw on his shoulder. "Promise me. It's the least you can do for a poor, dilapidated old Digimon who is about to lose the prop of her old age and the light of her eyes," she said, half-teasing.
"Hardly poor and dilapidated," Tai said with a smile, "and never old. All right, I promise. But if you want me to live to keep that promise, you'd better let me get back for the next load of tapestries before Snow decides I'm being lazy and comes looking for me with murder on the mind."
Bella laughed, and made shooing motions with both paws. "Oh, in that case, get out of here! I have no wish to see your ashes scattered to the four winds."
Tai grinned and headed for the door. As he reached it, he paused and turned to look over his shoulder. "Thank you," he said sincerely, and hurried out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.
Bella sat staring after him for a long time. "You're welcome. Take care of yourself as well, Taichi," she said quietly to the empty room. "Snow isn't the only one who needs protecting."
*****
An unpleasant cackle echoed through the control room of the Emperor's floating fortress.
"Muhahahahaha..."
"What is it, Ken?" Wormon asked timidly from behind his chair, not sure he wanted the answer. It sounded like whatever it was, it would be unpleasant, and he so disliked doing unpleasant things for his master...he'd much rather have gone home and had tea and brownies.
"If it's any of your business, Wormon," Ken said with his own unique emotion of almost cheerful surliness audible in his voice, "I've just had a truly horrible idea. Rev up the engines, my diminutive lackey. We are going to have some fun..."
Wormon winced. Somehow it didn't sound like his kind of fun.
"But Master..."
"Stow it, Wormon!" Ken snapped, leaping out of his chair and preparing to kick the little green bug Digimon. Wormon scuttled under the chair, whimpering, and Ken lowered his foot. "We are going to Zone 1-46-32," he said, rattling off the numbers confidently. "And you are getting us there within a day, or I will have your carapace for a flower vase. Who knows, it might add a little class to the fortress."
"Isn't that the zone you sent that girl-" Wormon began, confused. Ken cut him off, in a bad mood again.
"It's none of your business! Now go, or I'll make good on that threat!"
"Yes, Ken," Wormon said meekly, and hurried off to get the engines going, thinking longingly of brownies...
*****
"Sora?"
Snow kept her back turned to the door. Tai sighed.
"I'm not going to call you Snow anymore, Sora."
Her back stiffened, but she still didn't turn. Tai took a deep breath and stepped into the room. He was saying it all this time, and nothing she did could stop him.
"What?" she asked, quietly, as if not believing her ears. Tai stopped just behind her. "Why...?"
"Because that's not who you are," Tai said firmly. She whirled then, staring at him in something like outrage, but he kept talking. "You're not Snow, you're Sora Takenouchi, the girl I grew up with. You're a champion soccer player, and an amateur flower arranger, and sometimes a pain in the neck, but mostly...mostly one of the greatest people I know, and one of the most important people in my life. If not the most important. And I want you back."
He was silent then, standing there so close to this girl who had drifted so far away from him, but his solemn eyes spoke volumes as they stood with their gazes locked tightly together. The tension in the air was a tangible thing as Snow hesitated, teetering on the edge of giving in to the tenderness in his face as he looked down at her...
But as her resolve started to slip, the coldness of that blue terror struck her again, sending panicked alarm racing through her mind. She actually jerked, as if with a physical blow. Concerned, Tai reached out to her, and she stumbled back, avoiding his touch.
"What is it?" Tai asked, trying to keep his voice understanding and patient, when all he wanted to do was grab her by the shoulders and give her a good shake...what was wrong with her? He'd seen the longing in her eyes for the world he could return her to, but then it was as if a door had slammed in her mind, as her face became distant and coldly closed. "What's wrong with you? Why won't you listen to me?"
A hint of frustration and what would have been anger if frightened sadness hadn't quashed it came through in his tone. Snow's heart tore, but she steeled herself.
"I don't even know you!" she protested. "Why should I just do whatever you say?"
Tai sighed. "You know who I am, Sora. You know who I am, and you know who you are. It's been buried, deep down, and you keep piling more stones on it, because you're afraid of what you'll find if you dig a little. But if you would just try, you could beat this! Please..."
Somehow, that plaintive tone in his voice did it. She couldn't stand this! It hurt to see him there, to speak to him and hear that lost note in every word that begged her to reconsider, to look into that face with its blasted, nagging edge of familiarity! It hurt her somewhere too deep inside to repair, it was an ache and a sadness and a burning longing for something she was afraid to reach for, and even more afraid to admit her fear of... She couldn't take this any more!
Something in Snow snapped.
She turned to look levelly at him. "I know who you are, Taichi."
"You...you do?" Tai's eyes lit up with hope and joy.
"Yeah..." Snow leaned towards him, her face almost warming...then suddenly shoved both hands against him, bowling him over onto the floor. "You're an inconsiderate, arrogant, annoying jerk who won't leave me alone!"
Tai stared at her, as his face crumpled. "Sora..."
"And don't call me that! My name is Snow!"
"Sora, please..." Tai stretched a hand out to her, pleading in his eyes. A pang of guilt shot through her, but she pushed it away. *He deserves this! He refuses to let me live my life, the way I want to! It's my life, after all...not his!*
"Stop it!" she cried, clapping her hands over her ears. "I'm not listening to you anymore!"
"But Sora...I care about you..."
"I'M NOT SORA!" she shrieked, surprising them both with the vehemence and anger in her voice. There was a shocked silence as they stared at each other, misery and loss in his eyes, fury and fear in hers, pain running between them in a tangible river that separated them like a knife. Then, Snow turned away.
"Sora is dead," she whispered coldly into the silence, and left, closing the door softly behind her...
____________________________________
-_-*** Ouch, ne? Well, I promised to have the next chapter up before New Years, and I kept my promise. The next one is not going up until I get some reviews, though. (*grins* Isn't blackmail fun? Mwahaha...) So if you want to know what happens next...review!!! *M_M*
2001 WAS GOOD AND BAD
BUT NOW IT'S GONE I'M KIND OF SAD
THE YEAR HAS BEEN A BRIGHT ONE, FOLKS
WITH TEARS AND LAUGHTER, FEARS AND JOKES
I KNOW THERE'S LOTS OF JOY TO COME
AND WE'LL COME THROUGH IT #1
SO GATHER FRIENDS, AND LOVED ONES, TOO
AND SHOUT "HELLO 2002!!!"
***HAPPY NEW YEAR, FANFICTION.NET!***
-Bandit yori O_o
Kari's eyes opened to the ceiling of her room, and filled with tears.
"Please..." she whispered, a deep sadness filling her to the bottom of her heart. "Please try..." The room was too dark to see in, but that didn't matter to her. She wasn't truly awake anyway. With a sigh, she rolled over and went back to dreaming, moving to happier pastures, a little farther from home and reality. The memory of the dream wouldn't last, but the feeling of hopelessness would.
The next morning, she woke up with dried tears on her cheeks. It was nothing unusual, although she'd never understood it; one doesn't have to know one has Talents for them to surface without one's knowledge, especially when dreaming. If Kari had ever suspected that her mind wandered through others' minds while she slept, she had never put the suspicion into words, even for herself. Still, it was never fun to wake up with the residue of someone else's sadness or fear still left in traces on her soul, whether she knew the reason for her depression or not.
Of course, she did what she always did when she felt hopeless.
She called TK.
Shoot, he's got enough hope for three people, she thought to herself as she dialed. It is his crest, after all. Besides, talking to him would make a tapeworm feel optimistic. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot about Davis... She smiled weakly at her own joke and waited anxiously for TK to pick up.
"Hello?" she blurted.
"Hi, Kari."
She frowned. "How'd you know it was me?"
"You're the only person I know who calls me at seven in the morning on a vacation day. Everybody with any sense is asleep right now." A tired chuckle. "Besides, Mom has caller ID, remember?"
Kari blushed, glad that he couldn't see her. She'd forgotten that the phone was right next to his bed. She'd probably woken him up. "Oh, yeah...right. Sorry, but I-"
"Couldn't sleep?"
"You read my mind."
"That's your job, not mine. Bad dreams again?"
"Sort of. I don't remember them, but...I have that miserable feeling again."
"I'm sorry. You know, I dreamed about you last night."
Kari blinked, not sure what this was supposed to mean. "You did."
"Yup."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I dreamed that you called me up at six-fifty-three a.m. to talk about your bad dreams...oh, wait." He paused. "Dang."
Kari giggled. "Okay, okay, I get the hint. I'll hang up now."
"No, no, it's okay," TK assured her quickly. "I was teasing."
"I really should let you sleep, TK."
"No, you don't have to. I'm okay, really..." He paused, and she could hear him yawning hugely.
"Good night, TK," Kari said pointedly. He sighed.
"All right. Hey, want to get breakfast or something? In about..." He paused again, and Kari pictured him leaning over to check his bedside clock. "In about four hours?"
"That's more like brunch."
"Okay, we'll get brunch, then. If I have to get up early enough for you to call it breakfast, I won't be good for anything."
"Yeah, I know," Kari said with a smile. "I don't feel much like dining with TK the sleep-deprived vegetable, any more than you feel like being him. Four hours, then. Is Mister Donut okay?"
"Sure..." Another yawn. "Your mom won't mind?"
"'Course not. And hey, it's an escape from boysenberry-yogurt oatmeal with country-fried yams and radish juice."
"You're kidding."
"Unfortunately, no."
"What's the occasion?"
"Tai getting out of his blue funk over Sora and visiting Matt."
"Then it's a lucky thing he isn't at home, or it would put him right back into it."
"No joke." She paused. "I miss him."
"Me too." They both sat, silent, for a while. Then TK laughed. "Okay, as much as I'm enjoying all this wonderful depressing stuff, I really do need to sleep unless you want to be having brunch with Zombie Boy."
Kari smiled. "Okay. See you at Mister Donut."
"See you."
She hung up, then sat back on her bed and sighed.
I wonder if that bad dream I had was because of Tai being gone? I hope not. There's still one more night until he gets back, and even with TK to keep me from falling into a depression or anything, I'm not looking forward to a weekend of dream-induced misery...
* * * * *
"If you'd just try-"
"No. Now stop talking about it."
"But-mmphm!!"
Tai's voice was muffled by the bundle of heavy cloth that Snow thrust into his arms.
"Here. You want to help? Help me with the laundry."
He staggered under the load. "Good grief, these are heavy! What are they?"
Snow shrugged. "Tapestries. They were getting pretty filthy, and I thought I might as well get them clean again." She hurried over to the drying line strung across the improvised washing room and felt another tapestry, deemed it still damp, and turned back to the tub of sooty water in which another of the brightly-colored weavings was soaking.
"Clean...right..." Tai struggled to stay standing. "Ah...where do I put them?"
"Main hall," she said shortly. "Hurry. This batch is almost dry." She gestured to the hanging tapestries, spraying water across the floor from her dripping hands. "Oh, shoot, now I'll have to clean that up, too..." Wincing, she sighed and went back to scrubbing. Tai scowled, but shuffled off down the corridor.
If she would just listen to me, he thought indignantly, beginning to sweat under the load of hangings. Whatever she remembered couldn't have been that bad... Would she really rather stay here forever, washing...tapestries...than remember me? The thought hurt. Sora, the girl he'd known all his remembered life, unwilling to brave a little fear for his sake? They'd saved each other's lives multiple times, and now she was afraid of a little memory?
But she doesn't remember any of that, another, more sensible part of his mind reminded him. She only remembers snow and Fort Winter and fear. And Bella.
Ah, yes. Bella. Tai had met the motherly Frigimon, and had been impressed, maybe even become a little fond of her himself. But honestly, how could Sora just decide that she was her mother? Sure, she was sweet, but her mother? Come on, they didn't even look alike!
He sighed, realizing he'd reached the great hall already. Dropping his load, he dusted off his hands and turned to go back for more.
"Taichi?"
Speak of the Devimon, he thought ruefully, and turned back around.
"What is it, Bella?"
The lady Frigimon was seated by the fire, smiling gently at him. For an enormous white cross between a snowman and a bear, she could be very maternal when she wanted to be.
"Come here, child. I need to talk to you."
"But..." He gestured lamely at the doorway. "Sor...Snow's expecting me to go back for the next load-"
"Snow can wait," Bella said firmly. "This can't. Come and sit."
Bella could also be very commanding. Tai came and sat.
"Well?" he said, dreading her answer. What if she told him to quit asking Sora to remember him?
The Frigimon patted his hand. "You're a good boy. My daughter likes you, whether she'll admit it or not. That speaks well for you; she's a smart girl. But there's something I need to tell you, about this whole memory business."
Here it comes, Tai thought miserably. Goodbye, plan B. Wasn't much of a plan anyway...
"Don't give up."
"What?" Tai looked up at her, genuinely stunned.
"I said don't give up." Bella sighed. "She's stubborn, Snow, but she likes you. She'll give in eventually, but you can't give up on her."
"But..." Tai stared at her. "But I thought you wanted her to be your daughter."
"She's the little one I never had," Bella said with a sigh. "But she's not mine. She belongs to that Mrs. Takenouchi you've told her so much about. I can't take her away from her real mother. I couldn't do that to them." She sighed. "Anyone who raised a daughter like Snow has to be decent, and I can't just...usurp...a decent person's child."
Tai was silent for a long moment. Then he looked up at the motherly Frigimon, who was looking back a bit sadly at him. "I could kiss you," he said solemnly. She laughed and pulled him into an almost literal bear hug.
"I'm glad you're pleased," she said, ruffling his hair with an affectionate paw. "I'd say you were like a son, but...that wouldn't be very nice for you and Snow, now would it?"
Tai blushed, and Bella nodded to herself, satisfied that her guess had been an accurate one.
"I thought not. Take care of her for me, will you?"
"She hardly needs to be taken care of," Tai protested.
"She needs it more than either of you think," Bella said firmly. "That Caesar fellow, or whatever his name was, that did this to her isn't going to be beaten off easily. Not from what you've told us. Promise me you'll take care of Snow." When Tai looked reluctant, she reached over to rest a paw on his shoulder. "Promise me. It's the least you can do for a poor, dilapidated old Digimon who is about to lose the prop of her old age and the light of her eyes," she said, half-teasing.
"Hardly poor and dilapidated," Tai said with a smile, "and never old. All right, I promise. But if you want me to live to keep that promise, you'd better let me get back for the next load of tapestries before Snow decides I'm being lazy and comes looking for me with murder on the mind."
Bella laughed, and made shooing motions with both paws. "Oh, in that case, get out of here! I have no wish to see your ashes scattered to the four winds."
Tai grinned and headed for the door. As he reached it, he paused and turned to look over his shoulder. "Thank you," he said sincerely, and hurried out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.
Bella sat staring after him for a long time. "You're welcome. Take care of yourself as well, Taichi," she said quietly to the empty room. "Snow isn't the only one who needs protecting."
*****
An unpleasant cackle echoed through the control room of the Emperor's floating fortress.
"Muhahahahaha..."
"What is it, Ken?" Wormon asked timidly from behind his chair, not sure he wanted the answer. It sounded like whatever it was, it would be unpleasant, and he so disliked doing unpleasant things for his master...he'd much rather have gone home and had tea and brownies.
"If it's any of your business, Wormon," Ken said with his own unique emotion of almost cheerful surliness audible in his voice, "I've just had a truly horrible idea. Rev up the engines, my diminutive lackey. We are going to have some fun..."
Wormon winced. Somehow it didn't sound like his kind of fun.
"But Master..."
"Stow it, Wormon!" Ken snapped, leaping out of his chair and preparing to kick the little green bug Digimon. Wormon scuttled under the chair, whimpering, and Ken lowered his foot. "We are going to Zone 1-46-32," he said, rattling off the numbers confidently. "And you are getting us there within a day, or I will have your carapace for a flower vase. Who knows, it might add a little class to the fortress."
"Isn't that the zone you sent that girl-" Wormon began, confused. Ken cut him off, in a bad mood again.
"It's none of your business! Now go, or I'll make good on that threat!"
"Yes, Ken," Wormon said meekly, and hurried off to get the engines going, thinking longingly of brownies...
*****
"Sora?"
Snow kept her back turned to the door. Tai sighed.
"I'm not going to call you Snow anymore, Sora."
Her back stiffened, but she still didn't turn. Tai took a deep breath and stepped into the room. He was saying it all this time, and nothing she did could stop him.
"What?" she asked, quietly, as if not believing her ears. Tai stopped just behind her. "Why...?"
"Because that's not who you are," Tai said firmly. She whirled then, staring at him in something like outrage, but he kept talking. "You're not Snow, you're Sora Takenouchi, the girl I grew up with. You're a champion soccer player, and an amateur flower arranger, and sometimes a pain in the neck, but mostly...mostly one of the greatest people I know, and one of the most important people in my life. If not the most important. And I want you back."
He was silent then, standing there so close to this girl who had drifted so far away from him, but his solemn eyes spoke volumes as they stood with their gazes locked tightly together. The tension in the air was a tangible thing as Snow hesitated, teetering on the edge of giving in to the tenderness in his face as he looked down at her...
But as her resolve started to slip, the coldness of that blue terror struck her again, sending panicked alarm racing through her mind. She actually jerked, as if with a physical blow. Concerned, Tai reached out to her, and she stumbled back, avoiding his touch.
"What is it?" Tai asked, trying to keep his voice understanding and patient, when all he wanted to do was grab her by the shoulders and give her a good shake...what was wrong with her? He'd seen the longing in her eyes for the world he could return her to, but then it was as if a door had slammed in her mind, as her face became distant and coldly closed. "What's wrong with you? Why won't you listen to me?"
A hint of frustration and what would have been anger if frightened sadness hadn't quashed it came through in his tone. Snow's heart tore, but she steeled herself.
"I don't even know you!" she protested. "Why should I just do whatever you say?"
Tai sighed. "You know who I am, Sora. You know who I am, and you know who you are. It's been buried, deep down, and you keep piling more stones on it, because you're afraid of what you'll find if you dig a little. But if you would just try, you could beat this! Please..."
Somehow, that plaintive tone in his voice did it. She couldn't stand this! It hurt to see him there, to speak to him and hear that lost note in every word that begged her to reconsider, to look into that face with its blasted, nagging edge of familiarity! It hurt her somewhere too deep inside to repair, it was an ache and a sadness and a burning longing for something she was afraid to reach for, and even more afraid to admit her fear of... She couldn't take this any more!
Something in Snow snapped.
She turned to look levelly at him. "I know who you are, Taichi."
"You...you do?" Tai's eyes lit up with hope and joy.
"Yeah..." Snow leaned towards him, her face almost warming...then suddenly shoved both hands against him, bowling him over onto the floor. "You're an inconsiderate, arrogant, annoying jerk who won't leave me alone!"
Tai stared at her, as his face crumpled. "Sora..."
"And don't call me that! My name is Snow!"
"Sora, please..." Tai stretched a hand out to her, pleading in his eyes. A pang of guilt shot through her, but she pushed it away. *He deserves this! He refuses to let me live my life, the way I want to! It's my life, after all...not his!*
"Stop it!" she cried, clapping her hands over her ears. "I'm not listening to you anymore!"
"But Sora...I care about you..."
"I'M NOT SORA!" she shrieked, surprising them both with the vehemence and anger in her voice. There was a shocked silence as they stared at each other, misery and loss in his eyes, fury and fear in hers, pain running between them in a tangible river that separated them like a knife. Then, Snow turned away.
"Sora is dead," she whispered coldly into the silence, and left, closing the door softly behind her...
____________________________________
-_-*** Ouch, ne? Well, I promised to have the next chapter up before New Years, and I kept my promise. The next one is not going up until I get some reviews, though. (*grins* Isn't blackmail fun? Mwahaha...) So if you want to know what happens next...review!!! *M_M*
2001 WAS GOOD AND BAD
BUT NOW IT'S GONE I'M KIND OF SAD
THE YEAR HAS BEEN A BRIGHT ONE, FOLKS
WITH TEARS AND LAUGHTER, FEARS AND JOKES
I KNOW THERE'S LOTS OF JOY TO COME
AND WE'LL COME THROUGH IT #1
SO GATHER FRIENDS, AND LOVED ONES, TOO
AND SHOUT "HELLO 2002!!!"
***HAPPY NEW YEAR, FANFICTION.NET!***
-Bandit yori O_o
