Utter Nonsense

Story 1: Wufei Goes Insane

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters, blah blah

(Duo, Heero, and Wufei are sitting in a room, looking bored.)

Duo: Hey, Wu-man!

Wufei: …Don't call me that…

Duo: Call you what…Wu-man?

Wufei: Yeah that

Duo: Ok… Wu-man

Wufei (Gets pissed): Duo! Call me that one more time I'll stick your head up your ass!

Duo: Relax ok! Geez…

Heero: …Wu-man…

Wufei: Hey!!

Heero: You didn't say I couldn't call you that

Wufei: Fine! Next person to call me Wu-man is DEAD MEAT!

Duo: …

Heero: …

Wufei: Hmph (takes a sip of coffee)

Duo: …Woofers!

Wufei: (Chokes) _

Heero: Woooooooooooooofers!!

Wufei: (Coughing)

Duo and Heero: WOOFERS!

Wufei: DAMN YOU ALL!! You're gonna be sorry for this! (Charges at Heero and Duo)

Duo: Aiee!

Heero: Split!

(Run off in different directions)

Wufei: You can run but you can't hide! MUAHAHAHA! (Heads for Duo)

Duo: EEP! (Runs)

(Quatre and Trowa enter the room)

Quatre: What's going on?

Heero: (Hides behind them) We're driving Wufei insane, join us. WOOFERS!

Wufei: ERGH!! (Charges towards Heero)

(Quatre and Trowa get out of the way, Wufei rams into Heero)

Wufei: (Laughs maniacally)

Heero: AHH!!

Wufei: (Beats the living snot out of Heero)

All: o_O;

Wufei: Alright, who's next?!

(Silence)

Wufei: (Sits back down)

(All sit down, kinda edgy)

(Ten minutes later)

Wufei: -_- (Snore)

Trowa: …

Quatre: …

Heero: X_x

Duo: (Grins)

Quatre: (Whispering) No, don't piss off Wufei again

Duo: (Whispering also) You can't stop me!

Trowa: …

(Duo leaves the room, returns with a marker, goes over to Heero)

Trowa: Uh……..

(After 5 minutes, Duo steps back… all stare at the unconscious Heero)

Heero was covered with graffiti, written by Duo, obviously. The word "Woofers" appeared numerous times and a fake moustache is drawn. Squiggles and circles are all over his face, and the pupils were drawn on his eyelids, making him look like he was conscious. "Wu-man" was written vertically down his arms. All this was drawn in black.

Trowa: Holy sh*t!

Duo: Shh!

(Wufei is still asleep)

Quatre: (Tries not to laugh)

Duo: (Drags Heero over to Wufei, and…)

Trowa: o_O;

The graffiti covered Heero was sitting on Wufei's lap, facing him. Heero's arms were draped over Wufei's shoulders, and his face was less than 2 inches away from him.

Quatre: (Trying not to laugh)

Trowa: …and yet, Wufei is still asleep

Duo: My masterpiece! Hey, anyone got a camera?

Quatre: (Shaking from trying not to laugh)

Trowa: …I'll get it…

(Leaves, returns with a camera)

Trowa: Here

Duo: Thanks, man

Quatre: (Recovers)

Duo: (Takes the camera, zooms in on Wufei and Heero's faces, snaps a picture)

Wufei: (STILL asleep)

Quatre: …is he on a sleeping pill or something?

Duo: I dunno…

Trowa: Let's take this chance while he's still asleep and take more pictures… the film should be able to take 5 more

Duo: Okee ^_^

(Trowa and Quatre give Duo tips while he takes pictures from different angles; in no time, the film is finished)

Quatre: I'll go get it developed!

Duo: Thanks man… hurry up though

Quatre: No problem, I know a place where they develop photos instantly!

(Leaves with the film… returns an hour later)

Quatre: Are they still asleep?

Duo: Out like a light….hey, let's see those pictures!

(Leaf through the pictures)

Trowa: So what do you plan on doing with those pictures?

Duo: Blackmail!

Quatre: That's not right…

Duo: Hey, we'll just have a little fun and then burn the pictures

Trowa: … I'd like to keep one

Duo: O_o;

Quatre: O_o;

Trowa: …nevermind…

(Silence)

Duo: …should we wake them up?

Trowa: You kidding? They're gonna maim us!

Duo: So? We can run…

Quatre: Well, if you're so dead set on waking them up, I'll just go hide the pictures…make sure they don't get they're hands on them…

Trowa: Leave one here, we can blackmail them for our safety

Quatre: Ok

(Leaves one to Trowa, goes to hide the other 5)

Duo: (can't hold back any longer) HEY WOOFY! GET UP YOU BIG BUTT!

Wufei: (Wakes up, sees the graffiti covered Heero) DAH! O_O

Duo and Trowa: (crack up, fall to the floor laughing)

Wufei: (Shoves Heero off, glares at Duo and Trowa)

Duo: (catches his breath) oh crap… Trowa, he's on to us!

Trowa: (also catching his breath) Time to use the photo

Wufei: you…are…DEAD!

Trowa: WAIT! Look at this! (Holds the picture out) You wouldn't want anyone seeing that, would you? ^_^

Wufei: (Looks at the picture) O_O

Duo: If you don't want anyone to see that, I don't think you should hurt us

Wufei: …YOU…ARE…SO…DEAD!!!

Trowa and Duo: EEEEP!! (Runs)

Duo: Don't you care if others see this?

Wufei: They won't see it if I destroy it!

(Trowa and Duo split, Wufei goes after Trowa)

Trowa: Why me?

Wufei: 'Cause you have the picture!! (Snarls)

(They run around the house, banging into furniture for 15 minutes)

Wufei: (huff) give…the photo…now…(huff) and…you… (huff)…won't…be hurt…(huff) as much!

Trowa: (Huff) no…(huff) freaking…way!

(Quatre and Duo make their appearance)

Quatre: Stop, Wufei!

Duo: Killing Trowa is useless, we still have 5 more!

Wufei: (Stops) WHAT?!

Quatre: Yeah, we have six photos in total, so…

Wufei: GYAAAAAAAH!! (Charges at them with renewed energy)

Duo, Quatre, and Trowa: F*CK!!

(All run)

(Heero wakes up in the room)

Heero: Huh? What the…?

(Hears screaming in the distance, then Wufei's maniacal laughter)

Heero: Oh man, looks like Duo did something again…

(Walks to the direction of the scream, unaware of the graffiti on his face)

(Trowa, Duo, and Quatre, all sprinting as fast as humanly possible)

Trowa: Oh man, I'm not gonna make it… you guys, take this photo, and run!

(Hands the photo to Duo, collapses)

Duo and Quatre: NOO! TROWA!!

Wufei: One down, two to go!

(Tramples Trowa)

(Heero appears in front of Wufei)

Heero: Wufei! Stop!

Wufei: Whoa! (Stops to avoid collision with Heero)

Heero: So Duo called you names…so what?

Wufei: …do you have ANY idea what these idiots did to us?

Heero: Um…us?

Wufei: (Leads him to a mirror hanging on the wall)

Heero: HOLY SH*T!

Duo and Quatre: (Gulp)

Heero: …I'm going to wash this off now… Wufei and I will give you 5 minutes to get away… after that, it's not mercy…

Duo: Ok

Quatre: Uh huh

(Heero leaves, Wufei glares at them)

Quatre (grabs Duo's arm and drags him to another room)

Duo: Hey! I can run by myself you know

Quatre: Quick, we've got to get Trowa and get outta here!

Duo: Alright, ok. (Looks down at the marker used to graffiti Heero, which he is still holding) …Wait a second…

Quatre: Hmm? (Reads the Label on the Marker)

PERMANENT

Heero (from a distance): DUO!!! IS THIS THING PERMANENT OR SOMETHING?!

Duo: Screw Trowa, we're outta here!!

Quatre: Agreed

(Duo and Quatre sprint for their lives)

Heero: (Stands beside Wufei, still covered in graffiti) …Let's get them

Wufei: (Nods)



Will Duo and Quatre survive? Find out next chapter!!

And please review, I'll upload the next chapter after 3 reviews…and after I type it, of course! ^_^