For They Shall Be Filled
By:
Vain (Vainglorious696) 5/31/2001
__________________________________________________________
Vain: Have you seen the Kaiser, Ken?
Ken: No.
Why?
Vain: That's
funny, because Remy says you have . . . Something about a sewer, I recall?
Ken: I
have no idea what you are talking about. We're still looking for Guardian info. Please R&R.
Vain: Are
you sure you don't know where he is?
Ken: . . . Um, Enjoy the fic!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~ "Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means you will
by no means
get out of there till you have paid the last penny."
-Matthew 5: 26
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Part
Twenty-One
Trial # 2: Kari Yagami
It was sunny
out. It shouldn't have been—not on this
day. Kari stood over the coffin and
felt tears slide down her cheeks. Her
eyes, an odd variance between redwood brown and fiery ruby, were dull and
lifeless. The press, heartless bastards
that they were, had published the unedited original copy of his suicide note;
it called her by name several times.
Tai had never
mentioned that to her. He had been the
one to find the body, worried when his young protégé hadn't shown for their
scheduled practice. He had been the one
to find the note, too.
Kari still had a
copy of it in her pocket, torn haphazardly from the aforementioned newspaper.
To whom it
concerns,
Does it
really concern any of you, though? I
guess you're all wondering why I did this. This goes way beyond even my normal stupidity, right? That just shows how much attention you
people paid to me. It's really hard to
be surrounded by people who have everything. Yolei has brains. Cody has
street smarts and sensibility. Ken has,
well, he's Ken. Tai is a great soccer
player and a better leader than I'll ever be. TK is just Mr. Perfect and you guys always listen to him more than me
anyways. Matt, he's kinda like Ken:
they're famous for just being them. Everybody loves Mimi. Sora's got
wisdom and that take charge ability that girls got. Joe is dependable. Izzy's
saved our assess more than we can all count. Where the hell does that leave me? What do I have to offer the cause? Goggles? Wait a minute, those
aren't really mine, either, are they? Borrowed goggles. Yeah, that'll really show those 'mons! Yeah, that's sarcasm. I can do that. Did you know that?
But I'm leaving
somebody out, aren't I? Kari
Yagami. The One. The GIRL. Grace, Light, beauty, strength courage. Did I leave something out? Probably. You've got more than
anyone else, Kari. Maybe that's why you
never even gave me the time of day. What was I to you? A toy? Lip-gloss? Just one more attachment to your happiness? Something that was nice, but that you'd never really miss? Well? But who am I to say these things to you? Nobody. At least that's
what you told me. Oh, you never said
it, but I knew. I'm a lot smarter than
you think. Every time you laughed at me
or made fun of me, every time you all left me behind, I knew. I really do pay attention to what's going
on. Sure, I know I'm not the smartest,
or the fastest, or the brightest, or the cutest of us all, but I'm still
human. Did you think it was a
game? It wasn't. I LOVED YOU. But, oh well, right? I
mean I am just Davis, after all. Why the hell should I matter to you? Game point, guys. You win.
~Davis Motomiya
They never told her
about the note, though. Trying to
protect her perhaps—she didn't know, but it had been hard reading it in the
paper that morning. Tai saw the look on
her face as she read the second page (it was a page two story) and knew without
asking what she had seen.
"Why didn't you
tell me?" she had demanded.
"Tell you
what?" her brother retorted,
opening the refrigerator with unnecessary violence. "That he blamed you? That he died hating you?"
She flinched at
his words.
"… I'm sorry,
Kari."
They didn't speak
to one another until they left the house.
Everyone had come
to the funeral. TK and Tai stood by her side for support, Tai holding onto
Davis's—his goggles like they were his sole source of strength. Yolei was comforting Cody, or vise versa,
next to Izzy and Joe. Mimi had flown in
from New York and leaned heavily on Sora, her delicate features puffy with
grief. Even Ken had materialized
somewhere off to her right, looking coldly pale and beautifully severe in his
black suit.
Kari gazed down
into the gaping hole where Davis now lay and felt it mirror her soul. We brought you to this, she thought
as she stared blankly at the oak box. I
brought you to this. I never deserved
your heart, my friend. I should be the
one laying there, not you—never you. You brought life to the Digidestined. You were our heart, Davis. You
stood up against the Digimon Emperor. You single-handedly found Ken's Crest and brought down his base. You held us together, stopped our bickering,
made each of us feel like a part of the team. You never let us down. And we
never once told you that. We screwed
up, Davis. I screwed up—and now you're
dead.
A hand touched her
arm; it was TK. His vibrant eyes were
looking down at her anxiously. "Kari,
it's time to go."
"Already?" She looked around in confusion and, sure
enough, saw that everyone was leaving. In fact, the only ones left were the Digidestined, waiting for her.
"C'mon," Tai said,
offering her a hand. "Let's go."
Mimi returned to
America via Digiport for some important thing for her parents and Ken vanished
as unobtrusively and inexplicably as he had appeared. The remaining Children returned to the Yagami's house where their
digimon were waiting. Veemon had
vanished the day of Davis's suicide, but there were rumors that he had been
wandering the Digital World, crazed with grief and randomly attacking anything
or one that approached him.
More blood on
our hands, Kari thought
dully as she slipped off her shoes in the doorway.
But Veemon's
reportedly growing insanity was just one problem in the massive pile that had
toppled on their heads with Davis's death. Although they never knew it, their former leader had kept a close eye on
the Digital World and had made a great many friends there. If Davis ever saw a problem and the others
were unavailable he'd either go fix it or ask a digimon to do it. With his death, that clean up job had ceased
and problems began piling up faster than the other children could keep up with
them. They had had no idea what he had
done for them until they had to do it themselves—and they couldn't.
Davis was the soul
of the Digidestined, without him they just couldn't function.
A few hours went
by as they sat and reminisced. Occasionally someone would laugh at a half-buried memory and the
atmosphere would lighten to match the chirping birds outside, then a hush would
fall as though they suddenly remembered the solemnity of the day and the
tension would return with a vengeance.
Finally, Kari
could take it no more. She stood,
nearly dropping Gatomon as the feline struggled to get out of her lap. "I'm going for a walk." She was vaguely aware of the other's
protests, but she didn't care. She had
to get out of there. Now.
Then she was at
the beach beneath Rainbow Bridge. She
didn't know how she had gotten there or why she was there, but she suddenly
found herself standing at the top of the staircase and looking down at the
surf. As the Child of Light, weird
things had happened to Kari Yagami. She
could see spirits. She had once spoken
in tongues. When she was younger, she
had even been possessed once or twice. She knew when "other forces" were trying to tell her something. And she knew when to listen.
Kari took a deep
steadying breath and walked down the stairs. Alright, Fate, you wanted me here— "Here I am." Now
ruby-colored eyes closed as she concentrated, sending her thought to any entity
that could possibly have been looking for her. HERE I AM.
Here am I, her thought echoed back. "It's so good of you to join me, Kari."
The Child of Light
spun, a little frightened, but not at all surprised to see the shade of Davis
Motomiya glaring back at her. He was
dressed the way he appeared in the Digital World, flame jacket and kaki shorts
immaculate. His old square-shaped goggles
were perched on his head instead of Tai's and a dark leer twisted his normally
open countenance into something cruel and ugly.
"Come to look down
at your nose at me some more?" he asked, boasting his unpleasant expression
like a new outfit.
Kari felt tears
well up in her eyes. "What's happened
to you?"
He snorted. "I died."
"This . . . this
is wrong . . . It's not supposed to be
like this."
The ghost
shrugged. "Oh, I'm sorry. Still not meeting your expectations? Geez, I can't even die well enough for you,
can I?"
The girl stepped
back, for the first time in years afraid of a spirit. "You're not Davis. What
are you?"
"You're right,
Kari," he agreed, stepping forward to keep the distance between them. "I'm not Davis. He is currently rotting in a hole in the ground because of you."
"What are you?"
The shade
grinned. "A little dose of reality."
That voice . .
. Kari knew that voice. Gatomon still woke up screaming his name . .
.
"Myotismon."
"Very good," the
faux Davis congratulated. "You always
were a bright one. How's Gatomon?"
Kari clenched her
fists at her side and tried to draw away from the spirit. "What do you want from me, Myotismon?"
"Oh come now,"
psuedo-Davis said with an absent wave of a spectral hand. "Can't I even drop by to say hello. After all this time, I figured that it would
be nice to come and watch your decent into darkness."
Kari's brow
darkened in confusion. "What?" Then Kari shook her head. "This is wrong—you can't be here: we
destroyed you!"
"Hmph. Well, I wouldn't be the last."
"No! I didn't know—"
"You must be
stupid! What did he need to do? Paint you a sign? He lived one your every word." The shade leaned back and put a gloved hand on his hip, smirking
suddenly. "Looks like he died on them, too."
"No!" Kari put her hands over her ears and wheeled
around in an attempt to escape the specter. "You're not Davis! Davis was my
friend; he would never say such things to me!"
"On the contrary,
girl," he mocked as he appeared in front of her, "Just how well did you really
know your 'friend?'"
"What?"
"What exactly do
you think he felt about your constant rejections? Just because he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as
you like to think, doesn't mean that he was just going to roll over and let you
trample him! How do you think I've
gathered the strength to appear here? I've fed on the anger and confusion that was left on this plane after
Davis decided to inhale a bottle of aspirin. I used the frustration he felt from your scorn. I'm Davis's rage. And he left behind quite a bit of unfinished business."
Kari's eyes
widened in horror at this revelation. Her mind rapidly put together the meaning behind his words. She back-peddled and tripped over her own
feet, tumbling into the sand. "T—that's
not possible."
"Oh, but it is!"
he crowed triumphantly as he advanced on the fallen Digidestined. "It is! Face it, Kari: you killed Davis. You made me! And guess what I'm
gonna do!" His amusement grew with
Kari's fear. "You think that Ichijouji
made your lives miserable? He was
alive! Just imagine the kind of damage
that I can do!"
"But you can't!"
she implored with extended arms. "You're just a shadow!"
"Hmph. Do you really believe that?"
"Please don't hurt
my friends."
"Gee, let me
think: NO! If I'm a just a shadow, what
do you have to worry about?" He began
to vanish, his legs slowly disappearing and then his hips. When only his shoulders and head were left
he looked down at her almost sadly. "I
once wanted to offer you a place by my side . . . Tell me, would you have refused me?"
"Yes."
"Will you refuse
me now?"
Kari pushed
herself up to her feet and advanced on the ghost menacingly. "Leave my friends alone!" she yelled in a
strained and panicked voice.
"Make me."
So Kari did the
only thing she could do: she made him. The Light in her Crest was used to channel spirits, to understand them,
but never to control them. Forced
control was a tool of the Dark, a power that she had shunned long ago. But now, for the first time in her life, she
embraced that Darkness within her. Kari
reached within her soul, felt the Light, and then went deeper. She pushed through the warmth and found an
intoxicating wealth of cool shadows that flowed up to meet her with frightening
ease.
Unlike the Light,
which had to be directed, the Darkness knew her needs better than she did, and
with the sweet promise of an easy solution, effortlessly bound Myotismon's
twisted spirit and drug it back down to Kari's level of awareness. And it felt good.
Kari stared in
open amazement at the amount of raw power she could draw—and she was nowhere
near her limit.
The faux Davis
writhed in fury. "How did you do this?"
he screamed. "You can't possibly have
done this!"
Kari's mouth moved
before she thought of what was coming out of it. "But you asked me to."
Take him, the dark power hummed in her veins. Go ahead, he can't fight you. You have to protect your friends. Take him. Take his energy for your own. It's not even his, really; he just stole it from Davis . . .
Images began to
appear in her mind. She could do
it. It would be simple . . . just a
touch of power and he would be out of their lives once and for all.
The spirit seemed
to sense her thoughts. "Going to kill
me again?" he asked in a taunting voice.
Kari's head
snapped up and all her doubts vanished. She could feel the Darkness surging within her. "You're not Davis," she stated flatly. "Davis is already dead."
Then the Darkness
roared out of her, a torrent of power that reached into the spirit she had
bound and pulled. The energy
that was the spirit was sucked out and Myotismon screamed, a loud tortured
shriek that would have made Kari's hair stand on edge if the power didn't feel
so very good. She felt the transfer as
the life energy in the spirit dropped drastically as she was infused with that
same energy. And she wanted more.
The image before
her flickered crazily for a moment until Davis's image vanished only to be
replaced by a tall figure in a blue trench coat. Myotismon flickered weakly, like a dying candle, and his eyes
burned with hatred. "Welcome to the
other side of the fence, Child of Light."
Child of Light. Kari mentally shoved the name away and wrapped herself deep within the
folds of the stolen power. Child of
Light. She had never felt so alive
before. Her every nerve hummed with
vibrance and it felt like millions of sparks were dancing beneath her
skin. Child of Light. She felt absolutely full, almost like she
would burst. Child of Light. But she also felt absolutely empty, like she
was going to collapse on herself. She
needed more. Child of Light.
Kari . . .
A thought brushed
against her fever haze and began to push obtrusively into her awareness. Kari. Kari, stop! Wake up, Kari!
Kari's eyes
snapped open, unnaturally bright ambers, and she found herself looking straight
into Davis's face. Not Myotismon—the
real Davis.
My God, Kari …
What have you done?
Abruptly the haze
was gone. Kari's hands flew to cover her mouth as she felt the darkness in her
sink back down into the depths of her soul. But she could still hear—feel it—whispering to her, promising her
everything. Kari staggered back away
from the gently accusation in Davis's eyes.
"… Oh, God, oh
God, oh, God. What—NO!"
For the first time
in her life, she had willingly opened her heart up to the Darkness. She had opened her heart to the Darkness.
Kari froze as
Davis's sad face vanished. She wanted
to scream. She wanted to pull out her
hair. She wanted to fall to the ground
and weep forever. Child of Light—she
didn't deserve that name.
You are worthy.
Kari remained
frozen, unable to comprehend anything. She had opened her heart to Darkness.
You are worthy, the voice repeated.
"What?" Kari
looked around blankly. She was alone.
Remember,
Child. You have been found worthy.
"Remember? Remember what? Who are you?"
This seemed to
amuse the voice. We are what we have
always been. Remember, Child of Light.
"Wha—" Memories washed over her like a tidal
wave. Dreams. A picnic. Camping. Ken and Davis playing soccer. Davis . . . Davis was alive.
We are pleased
with you, Child of Light.
"That was my
test?" Kari's eyes flashed with
anger. She wrapped arms around her
waist protectively and looked out over the waves. The false waves—they weren't really there. Her voice sounded small and empty. "It was a cruel test."
We had no
choice. If you could not withstand this
darkness in your soul, you would not have withstood the Dark One.
Kari closed her
eyes in an effort to keep control of her temper. Her face contorted and tears slid down her cheeks. "It was a CRUEL TEST."
… We are
sorry. It was necessary.
"You've had your
test now. Let me alone.
… We are sorry
for your pain, Child. Sleep now. Rest and be Blessed. Your
trial is over.
Kari felt darkness
steal upon her and closed her eyes. She
tried to take comfort in the fact that nothing that had happened was real, but
even as she drifted off into a deep healing sleep, she could feel the darkness
in her soul. It was calling to
her. Calming peace filled her, but
couldn't quiet her spirit. Nothing ever
would again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
