For They Shall Be Filled

For They Shall Be Filled

By: Vain (Vainglorious696) 5/31/2001

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Vain: Have you seen the Kaiser, Ken?

Ken: No. Why?

Vain: That's funny, because Remy says you have . . . Something about a sewer, I recall?

Ken: I have no idea what you are talking about. We're still looking for Guardian info. Please R&R.

Vain: Are you sure you don't know where he is?

Ken: . . . Um, Enjoy the fic!

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~ "Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means you will by no means

get out of there till you have paid the last penny."

-Matthew 5: 26

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Part Twenty-One

Trial # 2: Kari Yagami

It was sunny out. It shouldn't have been—not on this day. Kari stood over the coffin and felt tears slide down her cheeks. Her eyes, an odd variance between redwood brown and fiery ruby, were dull and lifeless. The press, heartless bastards that they were, had published the unedited original copy of his suicide note; it called her by name several times.

Tai had never mentioned that to her. He had been the one to find the body, worried when his young protégé hadn't shown for their scheduled practice. He had been the one to find the note, too.

Kari still had a copy of it in her pocket, torn haphazardly from the aforementioned newspaper.

To whom it concerns,

Does it really concern any of you, though? I guess you're all wondering why I did this. This goes way beyond even my normal stupidity, right? That just shows how much attention you people paid to me. It's really hard to be surrounded by people who have everything. Yolei has brains. Cody has street smarts and sensibility. Ken has, well, he's Ken. Tai is a great soccer player and a better leader than I'll ever be. TK is just Mr. Perfect and you guys always listen to him more than me anyways. Matt, he's kinda like Ken: they're famous for just being them. Everybody loves Mimi. Sora's got wisdom and that take charge ability that girls got. Joe is dependable. Izzy's saved our assess more than we can all count. Where the hell does that leave me? What do I have to offer the cause? Goggles? Wait a minute, those aren't really mine, either, are they? Borrowed goggles. Yeah, that'll really show those 'mons! Yeah, that's sarcasm. I can do that. Did you know that?

But I'm leaving somebody out, aren't I? Kari Yagami. The One. The GIRL. Grace, Light, beauty, strength courage. Did I leave something out? Probably. You've got more than anyone else, Kari. Maybe that's why you never even gave me the time of day. What was I to you? A toy? Lip-gloss? Just one more attachment to your happiness? Something that was nice, but that you'd never really miss? Well? But who am I to say these things to you? Nobody. At least that's what you told me. Oh, you never said it, but I knew. I'm a lot smarter than you think. Every time you laughed at me or made fun of me, every time you all left me behind, I knew. I really do pay attention to what's going on. Sure, I know I'm not the smartest, or the fastest, or the brightest, or the cutest of us all, but I'm still human. Did you think it was a game? It wasn't. I LOVED YOU. But, oh well, right? I mean I am just Davis, after all. Why the hell should I matter to you? Game point, guys. You win.

~Davis Motomiya

They never told her about the note, though. Trying to protect her perhaps—she didn't know, but it had been hard reading it in the paper that morning. Tai saw the look on her face as she read the second page (it was a page two story) and knew without asking what she had seen.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she had demanded.

"Tell you what?" her brother retorted, opening the refrigerator with unnecessary violence. "That he blamed you? That he died hating you?"

She flinched at his words.

"… I'm sorry, Kari."

They didn't speak to one another until they left the house.

Everyone had come to the funeral. TK and Tai stood by her side for support, Tai holding onto Davis's—his goggles like they were his sole source of strength. Yolei was comforting Cody, or vise versa, next to Izzy and Joe. Mimi had flown in from New York and leaned heavily on Sora, her delicate features puffy with grief. Even Ken had materialized somewhere off to her right, looking coldly pale and beautifully severe in his black suit.

Kari gazed down into the gaping hole where Davis now lay and felt it mirror her soul. We brought you to this, she thought as she stared blankly at the oak box. I brought you to this. I never deserved your heart, my friend. I should be the one laying there, not you—never you. You brought life to the Digidestined. You were our heart, Davis. You stood up against the Digimon Emperor. You single-handedly found Ken's Crest and brought down his base. You held us together, stopped our bickering, made each of us feel like a part of the team. You never let us down. And we never once told you that. We screwed up, Davis. I screwed up—and now you're dead.

A hand touched her arm; it was TK. His vibrant eyes were looking down at her anxiously. "Kari, it's time to go."

"Already?" She looked around in confusion and, sure enough, saw that everyone was leaving. In fact, the only ones left were the Digidestined, waiting for her.

"C'mon," Tai said, offering her a hand. "Let's go."

Mimi returned to America via Digiport for some important thing for her parents and Ken vanished as unobtrusively and inexplicably as he had appeared. The remaining Children returned to the Yagami's house where their digimon were waiting. Veemon had vanished the day of Davis's suicide, but there were rumors that he had been wandering the Digital World, crazed with grief and randomly attacking anything or one that approached him.

More blood on our hands, Kari thought dully as she slipped off her shoes in the doorway.

But Veemon's reportedly growing insanity was just one problem in the massive pile that had toppled on their heads with Davis's death. Although they never knew it, their former leader had kept a close eye on the Digital World and had made a great many friends there. If Davis ever saw a problem and the others were unavailable he'd either go fix it or ask a digimon to do it. With his death, that clean up job had ceased and problems began piling up faster than the other children could keep up with them. They had had no idea what he had done for them until they had to do it themselves—and they couldn't.

Davis was the soul of the Digidestined, without him they just couldn't function.

A few hours went by as they sat and reminisced. Occasionally someone would laugh at a half-buried memory and the atmosphere would lighten to match the chirping birds outside, then a hush would fall as though they suddenly remembered the solemnity of the day and the tension would return with a vengeance.

Finally, Kari could take it no more. She stood, nearly dropping Gatomon as the feline struggled to get out of her lap. "I'm going for a walk." She was vaguely aware of the other's protests, but she didn't care. She had to get out of there. Now.

Then she was at the beach beneath Rainbow Bridge. She didn't know how she had gotten there or why she was there, but she suddenly found herself standing at the top of the staircase and looking down at the surf. As the Child of Light, weird things had happened to Kari Yagami. She could see spirits. She had once spoken in tongues. When she was younger, she had even been possessed once or twice. She knew when "other forces" were trying to tell her something. And she knew when to listen.

Kari took a deep steadying breath and walked down the stairs. Alright, Fate, you wanted me here— "Here I am." Now ruby-colored eyes closed as she concentrated, sending her thought to any entity that could possibly have been looking for her. HERE I AM.

Here am I, her thought echoed back. "It's so good of you to join me, Kari."

The Child of Light spun, a little frightened, but not at all surprised to see the shade of Davis Motomiya glaring back at her. He was dressed the way he appeared in the Digital World, flame jacket and kaki shorts immaculate. His old square-shaped goggles were perched on his head instead of Tai's and a dark leer twisted his normally open countenance into something cruel and ugly.

"Come to look down at your nose at me some more?" he asked, boasting his unpleasant expression like a new outfit.

Kari felt tears well up in her eyes. "What's happened to you?"

He snorted. "I died."

"This . . . this is wrong . . . It's not supposed to be like this."

The ghost shrugged. "Oh, I'm sorry. Still not meeting your expectations? Geez, I can't even die well enough for you, can I?"

The girl stepped back, for the first time in years afraid of a spirit. "You're not Davis. What are you?"

"You're right, Kari," he agreed, stepping forward to keep the distance between them. "I'm not Davis. He is currently rotting in a hole in the ground because of you."

"What are you?"

The shade grinned. "A little dose of reality."

That voice . . . Kari knew that voice. Gatomon still woke up screaming his name . . .

"Myotismon."

"Very good," the faux Davis congratulated. "You always were a bright one. How's Gatomon?"

Kari clenched her fists at her side and tried to draw away from the spirit. "What do you want from me, Myotismon?"

"Oh come now," psuedo-Davis said with an absent wave of a spectral hand. "Can't I even drop by to say hello. After all this time, I figured that it would be nice to come and watch your decent into darkness."

Kari's brow darkened in confusion. "What?" Then Kari shook her head. "This is wrong—you can't be here: we destroyed you!"

"Hmph. Well, I wouldn't be the last."

"No! I didn't know—"

"You must be stupid! What did he need to do? Paint you a sign? He lived one your every word." The shade leaned back and put a gloved hand on his hip, smirking suddenly. "Looks like he died on them, too."

"No!" Kari put her hands over her ears and wheeled around in an attempt to escape the specter. "You're not Davis! Davis was my friend; he would never say such things to me!"

"On the contrary, girl," he mocked as he appeared in front of her, "Just how well did you really know your 'friend?'"

"What?"

"What exactly do you think he felt about your constant rejections? Just because he didn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as you like to think, doesn't mean that he was just going to roll over and let you trample him! How do you think I've gathered the strength to appear here? I've fed on the anger and confusion that was left on this plane after Davis decided to inhale a bottle of aspirin. I used the frustration he felt from your scorn. I'm Davis's rage. And he left behind quite a bit of unfinished business."

Kari's eyes widened in horror at this revelation. Her mind rapidly put together the meaning behind his words. She back-peddled and tripped over her own feet, tumbling into the sand. "T—that's not possible."

"Oh, but it is!" he crowed triumphantly as he advanced on the fallen Digidestined. "It is! Face it, Kari: you killed Davis. You made me! And guess what I'm gonna do!" His amusement grew with Kari's fear. "You think that Ichijouji made your lives miserable? He was alive! Just imagine the kind of damage that I can do!"

"But you can't!" she implored with extended arms. "You're just a shadow!"

"Hmph. Do you really believe that?"

"Please don't hurt my friends."

"Gee, let me think: NO! If I'm a just a shadow, what do you have to worry about?" He began to vanish, his legs slowly disappearing and then his hips. When only his shoulders and head were left he looked down at her almost sadly. "I once wanted to offer you a place by my side . . . Tell me, would you have refused me?"

"Yes."

"Will you refuse me now?"

Kari pushed herself up to her feet and advanced on the ghost menacingly. "Leave my friends alone!" she yelled in a strained and panicked voice.

"Make me."

So Kari did the only thing she could do: she made him. The Light in her Crest was used to channel spirits, to understand them, but never to control them. Forced control was a tool of the Dark, a power that she had shunned long ago. But now, for the first time in her life, she embraced that Darkness within her. Kari reached within her soul, felt the Light, and then went deeper. She pushed through the warmth and found an intoxicating wealth of cool shadows that flowed up to meet her with frightening ease.

Unlike the Light, which had to be directed, the Darkness knew her needs better than she did, and with the sweet promise of an easy solution, effortlessly bound Myotismon's twisted spirit and drug it back down to Kari's level of awareness. And it felt good.

Kari stared in open amazement at the amount of raw power she could draw—and she was nowhere near her limit.

The faux Davis writhed in fury. "How did you do this?" he screamed. "You can't possibly have done this!"

Kari's mouth moved before she thought of what was coming out of it. "But you asked me to."

Take him, the dark power hummed in her veins. Go ahead, he can't fight you. You have to protect your friends. Take him. Take his energy for your own. It's not even his, really; he just stole it from Davis . . .

Images began to appear in her mind. She could do it. It would be simple . . . just a touch of power and he would be out of their lives once and for all.

The spirit seemed to sense her thoughts. "Going to kill me again?" he asked in a taunting voice.

Kari's head snapped up and all her doubts vanished. She could feel the Darkness surging within her. "You're not Davis," she stated flatly. "Davis is already dead."

Then the Darkness roared out of her, a torrent of power that reached into the spirit she had bound and pulled. The energy that was the spirit was sucked out and Myotismon screamed, a loud tortured shriek that would have made Kari's hair stand on edge if the power didn't feel so very good. She felt the transfer as the life energy in the spirit dropped drastically as she was infused with that same energy. And she wanted more.

The image before her flickered crazily for a moment until Davis's image vanished only to be replaced by a tall figure in a blue trench coat. Myotismon flickered weakly, like a dying candle, and his eyes burned with hatred. "Welcome to the other side of the fence, Child of Light."

Child of Light. Kari mentally shoved the name away and wrapped herself deep within the folds of the stolen power. Child of Light. She had never felt so alive before. Her every nerve hummed with vibrance and it felt like millions of sparks were dancing beneath her skin. Child of Light. She felt absolutely full, almost like she would burst. Child of Light. But she also felt absolutely empty, like she was going to collapse on herself. She needed more. Child of Light.

Kari . . .

A thought brushed against her fever haze and began to push obtrusively into her awareness. Kari. Kari, stop! Wake up, Kari!

Kari's eyes snapped open, unnaturally bright ambers, and she found herself looking straight into Davis's face. Not Myotismon—the real Davis.

My God, Kari … What have you done?

Abruptly the haze was gone. Kari's hands flew to cover her mouth as she felt the darkness in her sink back down into the depths of her soul. But she could still hear—feel it—whispering to her, promising her everything. Kari staggered back away from the gently accusation in Davis's eyes.

"… Oh, God, oh God, oh, God. What—NO!"

For the first time in her life, she had willingly opened her heart up to the Darkness. She had opened her heart to the Darkness.

Kari froze as Davis's sad face vanished. She wanted to scream. She wanted to pull out her hair. She wanted to fall to the ground and weep forever. Child of Light—she didn't deserve that name.

You are worthy.

Kari remained frozen, unable to comprehend anything. She had opened her heart to Darkness.

You are worthy, the voice repeated.

"What?" Kari looked around blankly. She was alone.

Remember, Child. You have been found worthy.

"Remember? Remember what? Who are you?"

This seemed to amuse the voice. We are what we have always been. Remember, Child of Light.

"Wha—" Memories washed over her like a tidal wave. Dreams. A picnic. Camping. Ken and Davis playing soccer. Davis . . . Davis was alive.

We are pleased with you, Child of Light.

"That was my test?" Kari's eyes flashed with anger. She wrapped arms around her waist protectively and looked out over the waves. The false waves—they weren't really there. Her voice sounded small and empty. "It was a cruel test."

We had no choice. If you could not withstand this darkness in your soul, you would not have withstood the Dark One.

Kari closed her eyes in an effort to keep control of her temper. Her face contorted and tears slid down her cheeks. "It was a CRUEL TEST."

… We are sorry. It was necessary.

"You've had your test now. Let me alone.

… We are sorry for your pain, Child. Sleep now. Rest and be Blessed. Your trial is over.

Kari felt darkness steal upon her and closed her eyes. She tried to take comfort in the fact that nothing that had happened was real, but even as she drifted off into a deep healing sleep, she could feel the darkness in her soul. It was calling to her. Calming peace filled her, but couldn't quiet her spirit. Nothing ever would again.

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