"Come by every couple of weeks. Let them know they can beat this.
That there's some sort of hope"

Let who know? I'm not even sure if I can beat this, yet alone offer
someone hope

"You don't mind?"

She's stopped in front of the hospital. Hands gripped tightly on the
steering wheel

Looking at her, you can tell all this was wearing on her. Her face was even
beginning to look old

"It's fine" Susan replied bitterly, eyeing the large windows."Just go, Carter"

9 floors. I've got 9 floors before I hit the CDU. The Chemical Dependency
Unit. Offer someone hope.

Go, so I can spend just alittle time forgetting about you and your demons.

************************************************
Well they almost had you down
I was beat back, look in the mirror and
Like your thoughtless mother
I'm not bound to walk in your footsteps
Well this has gotta change
I can't go on with the nine to five
I gotta rearrange
Lord, I swear it's gotta change
************************************************
9 floors. 2 sodas and one candy bar later.I'm searched

Needles, pills, small thin joints

They give me a visitor's pass, so all the patients will know I don't really
belong here and hate me

"Guys" the nurse called,"Everyone in the meeting room. We have a guest speaker"

Someone like you. But not like you. Because they were prescribed pain pills for my
back. Chemical dependent

I was just like them. I try so hard not to be them

"Go ahead" the nurse gives me a small push into the room, plastering a fake
grin on her face

They're going to eat me alive

"Hi" hands in pockets, shifting weight akwardly. I used to think I wore
a huge sign on my forehead "ADDICT"

I don't. They don't. Except the ones in the wheelchair, like Chase


But it's too late to help those

"I'm Dr.John Carter"
*********************************************
And no-one ever dreams about selling cars or waiting bars
I won't become like that one
*********************************************
My story's nothing. And I try so hard to hide my disgust, my sadness, my fear of
some of these people

One man actually laughed when I told them about giving that woman the
wrong antibotic


He killed his daughter

I feel stupid

I should have chosen schools. It would have been easier to tell my story
to bored teenagers

"Everyone, say thank you to our guest speaker, Dr.Carter" the nurse glares
at their smug faces

Fake applause. Cat calls

They're just happy I'm leaving

"John?" Deb called from the front desk, "Susan got tied up at work"


I was afarid I would have to ask Susan drive me to see Lucy.Lucy's grave.

"Ready to go?"

I rip my pass off my coat. Pass Go and collect 200$.I get to leave.
"I've been ready for awhile"


"I take it your talk didn't go so well" keys rattling in her small hands

Susan never asked me how they went. She seemed resentful to even have to
pick me up
***********************************
I believe you should be gone
Happy dreams at the CDU
***********************************
Deb listened quietly as I recounted each story

"That's horrible" she 'd throw in every now and then.Or,"How sad"

I stay away from my feelings of shame and stupidity.

"How'd it make you feel?? That man laughing at you?" her voice was soft.
I wanted to lay my head in her lap and cry

"You wouldn't mind stopping by Lucy's grave, would you?" I ask,ignoring
the feelings question

I'm afarid of what would come out. My feelings about this,that, work and her.

"All you had to do was ask" and miracleously, she knows where she's going

Deb went to the funeral. Brings flowers every now and then,she tells me.
*********************************

Well your world was crashing down
You decided to leave town
Poison in your vein
What a shame
When it feels like something's gone wrong in your life
You can try
Try and open up your life now
Try and open up to me
*********************************
One time I came by myself.I had 4 viccadin and a bouquet of pale pink roses.

I don't remeber much. Just waking up when I felt cold

At least I woke up .