Revival and the Escape Plans
A/N: Let's see, do I own them? (checks her sources) Nope. DBZ or anything else I put in this story isn't mine
and will never be mine. On the last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, CMG tells the others something
that drove them insane yet again, as more chaos seemed to happen on King Kai's Planet. Back on Namek,
King Vegeta gets his turn using Goku's body for awhile, but they end up getting buried into the ground. Gohan
returns to apologize to his father, but Freeza was there waiting for him.
Gohan: Even though you killed my father, I'm still alive and I'm only a half-Saiya-jin! I was going to apologize
to him for calling him an ungrateful b******, but you killed him.
Freeza irratates our little half-Saiya-jin about the planet getting destroyed in 5 minutes as he tries to stall until
the planet explodes. However, he falls short and a miracle happens. It seems that our hero, Goku managed
to survive from Freeza's attack.
Goku: Gohan, you son of a b****! I told you to get the f*** off this planet!
Gohan: Well excuse me dad, but I've come back to talk you into coming home with me and to apologize for
calling you an ungrateful b******, but I won't now!
Goku: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED FOR A YEAR FROM FIGHTING WHEN I GET HOME!
And it seems that Kami has some good news for the imprisoned King Kai as he learns that Mr. Popo was
going after the Dragon Balls to wish back the Nameks back to life. But will it be in time or will Namek
actually explode...
Freeza: In 5 more minutes!
Yamcha: (from 2 episodes ago) 'In another five minutes' my a**!
Actually, when will these five minutes be over?! I can't take it anymore! (narrator jumps out the window
screaming)
CMG: We need a new narrator. Any takers? (a bunch of hands go up in the air.) Never mind, I'll do it.
(clears throat) Will Goku defeat that terrible gay a** w***e Freeza? Will King Kai ever survive being
tortured by the little bunny rabbits?
King Kai: NO! NOT THE LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS!
CMG: And can anyone tell me where I can actually find the answers to all of these weird questions that
I'm asking? (looks around as crickets chirp) Oh yeah. Silly me. Tune in today As the Planet Namek Burns
to find out.
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In a dark and damp cell, King Kai's sunglasses seemed gray as he lies there shaking. He seemed to have
gone without food for many days. He is lying there on the cell door in the darkness when he hears a door
opening.
"Hey," said a voice. "Come on. I'll get you out of here."
"Huh?" said King Kai as he looks at a familiar person. "Who are you?"
"ALLY TO GOOD! NIGHTMARE TO YOU!" said the voice as King Kai freaks out. "I'm just kidding
around. Come on!"
King Kai gets up carefully. The person was a boy, but all he saw was his shadowed figure. King Kai takes
out a handkerchief and wipes his gray sunglasses which return to normal as the boy started to become so
clear to him. When he recognized him, he screamed.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" cried King Kai.
Meanwhile in a weird base set up where King Kai's house used to be...
-PRISONER ESCAPED! PRISONER ESCAPED!- said a woman's voice over the public announcements as
the alarms go off.
"Status report," said Yamcha.
"The prisoner has escaped," said Tien over the radio.
"D*** you! I already know that!" said Yamcha. "Emperor Chou-zu will not be pleased!"
-In A.D. 21, war was the beginning,- said a woman's voice.
Suddenly, a bomb goes off and Chou-zu goes flying into the window where Yamcha is. Tien walks inside
the shelter as they notice explosions all over the screen.
"What happen?" said Tien.
"Someone set us up the bomb," said Yamcha.
"We get signal!" said Tien.
"On-screen," said Yamcha. The purple-haired boy's image appears in the projection.
"It's you!" said Chou-zu.
"How are you gentleman! All of your base are belong to us. You are on a pathway of destruction," said
the purple-haired boy.
"What did you say?" said Tien.
"You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha, ha, ha..." said the purple-haired boy as the image
disappears.
(10 brownie point for those Japanese game fans who can guess where this scene came from. And yes, I
don't own that, either.)
*******
Meanwhile on Namek, Goku and Freeza were playing a deadly game of mercy. The ground caves in from
beneath them as they show no signs of giving. However, Freeza soon falls to his knees.
"Say it," said Goku.
"Never," said Freeza.
"F*** you, b****!" yelled Goku. "Cry mercy!"
"You would want me to f*** you, wouldn't you?" said Freeza. "Let's go back to my ship and..."
"We are not going there, you gay a** w***e!" said Goku.
"Fine," said Freeza before Goku head bashes Freeza in the head.
*******
"Thanks for the rescue," said King Kai. "But tell me, why did you come back to save me after what
I said a few chapters ago?"
"Because I have to tell Goku something," said the boy.
"He's not here right now," said King Kai. "He's on..."
"I'm right here!" said Yamcha.
"Huh?" said King Kai.
"Goku?" said the boy. "Wait. What happened to your hair?"
"It's a long story," said Yamcha. "So, what do you have to tell me?"
"We can't talk here," said the boy. "Let's talk somewhere else."
"Sure," said Yamcha as he follows Trunks to the fallout shelter. "So, what did you want to tell me?"
"Well first off, I need your undivided trust," said the boy. "Can you turn into a Super Saiya-jin at free
will?"
'Oh s***!' thought Yamcha.
"Well?" said the boy.
"No, not really," said Yamcha.
"Figures," said the boy. "I guess you're not used to it yet since it's pretty hard to control."
"That's right," said Yamcha.
"Wait a second," said the boy. "Are you really Goku? If so, what color are a Super Saiya-jin's eyes?"
'Great, I forgot,' thought Yamcha when he notices a blue bird. "Are the eyes blue?"
"That's right," said the boy. "I guess you've looked at your reflection at least once and remembered
that one. Next question. What color is a Super Saiya-jin's hair?"
'Oh no!' thought Yamcha as he noticed the bird's wings had yellow feathers under his wings. "Is it yellow?"
"That's right," said the boy. "Last question. How did you transform into a Super Saiya-jin."
'Oh no! I don't know this one!' thought Yamcha, but then he noticed the bird fly away into the sky where
for some strange reason, there was a cloud up in the sky that looked like Krillin's head. "Krillin..."
"Krillin, huh?" said the boy. "What happened to him?"
"Freeza killed him! That ungrateful b****!" said Yamcha.
"Calm down," said the boy. "I don't want you going Super Saiya-jin if you cannot control it!" said the boy.
The halo over Yamcha's head stretches over his hair and made it look gold. Somehow, his eyes seemed to
turn blue. The boy was overwhelmed by what happened.
"Whoa! You are Goku! Sweet!" said the boy. "You can power down now."
"Okay," said Yamcha as his halo seemed to fly off of his head and his eyes returned to normal.
"I trust you," said the boy, "but you cannot tell anyone else about it, alright?"
"Sure," said Yamcha.
"Thank you," said the boy. "My name is Trunks, and I'm..."
"You're name is Trunks?" said Yamcha as he starts laughing. "Who would name you that? Underwear boy!"
"Enough!" yelled Trunks. "Now, as I was saying, I'm half-Saiya-jin, half Earthling."
"So, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" said Yamcha.
"Vegeta," said Trunks as Yamcha facevaults.
"V-V-Vegeta?" said a shocked Yamcha.
*******
"Five more minutes," said Freeza. "Yes five more f***en minutes until this planet explodes!"
"Will you ever stop saying that?" said Goku.
"No," said Freeza.
*******
"Arise Eternal Dragon!" said Mr. Popo as he summons Shenlong.
"You know the drill by now, so state your wish!" said Shenlong. "I need to talk to my agent about GT, okay?"
"Yes, I would like you to bring all of the people that Freeza and his henchmen killed back to life," said Mr. Popo.
"Would you like me to bring back Vegeta too?" said Shenlong.
"If you want to," said Mr. Popo.
"Fine," said Shenlong as his eyes glow red.
*******
"Huh?" said Vegeta as his hand starts to disappear.
"It seems that you're being wished back to life," said Bardock.
"I don't want to be wished back!" cries Vegeta in a whiny voice. "I want to possess Kakarot's body and
make him toy with Freeza some more!"
"Just go, you whiny brat for a son," said King Vegeta. "If not, I will disown you like Bardock was going to!"
"Fine 'dad'," said Vegeta as he disappears.
"So, it's still my turn, isn't it?" said Bardock.
"Have fun," said King Vegeta. "Besides, we won't get another chance to do this."
"Yeah!" said Bardock in a child-like voice. "Okay, Bibi-di! Send me now!"
"Fine, fine," said Bibi-di as he turns towards the reader. "Who were expecting? Satan? Besides, I have a
pretty slim chance appearing in the Buu Saga anyways, so what the hell? Might as well cause some havoc
on Namek!" Bibi-di laughs and a stone falls on his head. "Ouch! That's hot!"
*******
"So let me get this straight," said Yamcha. "I'm going to die of a heart virus, the Androids are going to kill
all of the Z Fighters, and you are the only one who survives? You're life must suck a ton!"
"That's why I'm here to fix the past," said Trunks. "Will you fight?"
"Hell ya!" said Yamcha as flames spew out from behind him, as Bardock's spirit goes flying.
"So long, suckers!" said Bardock.
"Huh?" said everyone.
"I'm off to Namek!" said Bardock.
"Send us a postcard!" said Yamcha.
"I knew my mother could trust you," said Trunks as he pulls a little vial from his pocket. "This is the
antidote that my mother made. When the first side effects come, take it and you should be fine."
"Who is your mother?" said Yamcha.
"My mother is Bulma," said Trunks as Yamcha's mouth drops to the ground and he facevaults.
"Bulma's your mother?" said Yamcha. 'You're going to die, carrot top!'
"Yes," said Trunks as Yamcha gets up. "But please don't say anything, or else I will not be born."
'Like I'd want Vegeta to take my woman anyways,' thought Yamcha. "Sure."
"Okay, I got to go now," said Trunks. "I'll see you in three years!"
"Bye!" said Yamcha as Trunks leaves. 'Thanks for the tip, you b******!'
*******
'Man, this b**** doesn't want to give up, does he?' thought Goku.
"Give up," said Freeza.
Little does Freeza know that Bardock has possessed Goku now. Things are about to get interesting...
*******
"Okay, I'm finished," said Shenlong.
"Thanks," said Mr. Popo.
"Yeah, yeah," said Shenlong. "Later."
The Dragon disappears as the Dragon Balls fly off into the sky. Mr. Popo looks around him and finds a
piece of candy. He picks it up and is caught in a trap. A hundred little kids dressed in native outfits gather
around Mr. Popo as he struggles to get free. However, the kids free him after he gives them back all of
the candy he stole from them.
*******
'Am I alive?' thought Guru as he lifts his hand. 'Let me see...'
Guru, the Namek Elder decided to test his theory, so he does something that had to be censored. He
was doing something in sign language. (You know what I mean when someone gives another person 'the
finger'.) Anyways, he learns that he is alive and so are the others.
*******
Out of the ocean, Porunga comes out and just hovers there in the sky.
"Hey," said Porunga. "Wasn't I dead?"
*******
Now back to our battlefield, Freeza looks at Goku as he noticed that he was smiling funny.
"What's wrong with you?" said Freeza.
"Wouldn't you like to know," said Bardock. "I've gotten my son under my control again, but this time,
you're going down!"
"Ah s***! Why can't you Saiya-jin just wait for me in hell and beat me up with your army?" said Freeza.
"You know, I think I'll do that," said Bardock. "But first, my revenge!"
Bardock/Goku took an energy orb and lunged it at Freeza. He was prepared for it.
"Oh please," said Freeza. "I don't forget our first battle in space where you met your tragic defeat."
"Well, it's different this time," said Bardock as he holds his hands out. The orb of light starts flying
around in circles (think of what Yamcha did in Tree of Might) as he makes it hit Freeza from behind and
have it explode. Freeza goes flying into a table and doesn't get up easily.
"You fool!" said Freeza. "How dare you make a monkey out of me?"
"I didn't know you were a monkey!" said Bardock. "I thought you were a b****!"
*******
Somewhere on a forgotten region of Namek that isn't burning yet, a lone makeshift grave with flowers on
it is where Vegeta lays dead and forgotten. Suddenly, the clouds open and sunlight hits the grave. A booming
voice is heard.
"Rise from the grave," said the voice, "and rescue my daughter."
(Got that one from an old version of the Sega games. 5 brownie points on which game it's from.)
Vegeta gets up. "Ungh! I'm not rescuing your daughter, you b******! And why are there flowers on my grave?
I'm allergic to them!"
Vegeta starts a sneezing fit to prove his point before blasting the flowers.
*******
On an island nearby the Eternal Dragon, a young Namek stirs as he finds himself alive again.
"Oh boy! I'm alive again," said Dende. "Now let me wait until Guru contacts me."
*******
"It seems like Phase 1 is complete," said King Kai. "Now it's time for Phase 2. Guru, can you hear me?
I have a wish I want to make if you have one left."
*What is this wish,* said Guru. *And yes, I think we still have one wish left. Name it.*
"I want that everyone on Namek, except for Freeza to be moved to Earth," said King Kai.
*Sure, I'll contact one of my people close to Porunga to make that wish right away,* said Guru.
*NO! CHANGE THE WISH, YOU IDIOTS!* said a familiar voice. King Kai and Guru were shocked
for a second.
*******
*Goku? Is that you?* said King Kai a bit afraid.
*No, it's Bardock,* said Goku. *Of course it's me!*
*Have you been listening to our conversation this whole time?* said King Kai.
The no longer possessed Goku is dodging Freeza's energy attacks and creates an energy shield to keep
himself aloft. *Yes and I want you to change the f***en wish!*
*Not if you're talking like that, I won't!* said King Kai.
*You're forgetting that he killed my best friend here!* said Goku.
*Good point,* said King Kai.
*And besides, if you do wish me to Earth, I'll leave it and hunt that b**** down in space,* said Goku.
*But Goku! You need to go back with the others!* said King Kai.
*No, please, let me continue,* said Goku. *If not, he'll come to Earth and kill everyone I care about
and I don't want that to happen.*
*Well, I guess you can stay, but you only got...* said King Kai.
*Yeah, I know and guess what?* said Goku. *The planet still didn't blow up yet!*
*No,* said King Kai. *You've only got until the end of the next episode to finish Freeza off,* said King
Kai. *Besides, this one's pretty much over now.*
*D***!* said Goku. *I guess the next episode's it, huh? Okay then. Make that wish or else I'll haunt you!*
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CMG: It seems that our hero, Goku is making demands and will stay on Namek. But how long will Namek
actually hold together before it explodes? Will Goku be able to defeat that b****, Freeza in time?
Freeza: I'm telling you that I'm not a b****!
CMG: Well, FUNimation made you sound like one!
Freeza: (walks out to find out who made him sound like a woman so he could kill them)
CMG: Will Gohan make it back to the spaceship in time? And will Vegeta get some allergy medicine? Find
out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.
Vegeta: (sneezing) Why did that third class fool put flowers on my grave?
Goku: (comes in as a Super Saiya-jin) It was a tradition.
Vegeta: Hey! You've became a Super Saiya-jin. Sweet.
Goku: You already know I've become one from possessing me too many times!
Vegeta: Oh yeah, but I forgot because spirits don't really remember a lot about what happens when they
die.
Goku: That's true.
Vegeta: So, are we going to have some beer?
Goku: Sure. Those sports drinks are for losers!
CMG: Can't you guys ever say things without drawing attention to yourselves?
Goku/Vegeta: Shut-up!
CMG: Fine. Later. (leaves)
Next time on As the Planet Namek Burns, more character bashing is promised as Freeza gets his life cut in
half, if you know what I mean.
Freeza: Help... me...
Bardock: I'll help you. (shoots a beam of light at Freeza which burns him) There. Now you got a nice tan and
some energy. Later!
CMG: Oops! Accidentally left the sound in the scene. Oh well. I'm only a beginner at this narration stuff. Oh
well. Anyways, Freeza will finally get his just desserts and a surprising ending is ensured all on the next
exciting episode on As the Planet Namek Burns.
Bardock: Are you actually going to let me do that?
CMG: Yes.
Bardock: (screams like a little girl) Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! (hugs CMG)
CMG: Are you done now?
Bardock: (lets go) Yes.
CMG: Good. Now let's go. We got another story to write.
Bardock: Sure.
Don't forget to review. If you flame me, only flame me if you have a good reason. I'm surprised that I've
gone this far in and I know there's no turning back now from doing this. Well, only if I have to do a few
minor changes in the chapters I made some small grammar errors in, but heck. I've just haven't been trying
hard enough the first time, so now, I'm doing my half-best job. I know the possessing stuff is a bit weird,
but heck. One fan said he wanted to see Bardock some more, so I'm going to keep my promise and make
another fanfic about that father of the Legendary Super Saiya-jin And no. It's not Brolly since I despise that
guy a ton and think his dad was cheating to make him into one. He sounds like a Pokemon repeating Goku's
Saiya-jin name a ton, which gives me an idea for my next humor fic. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon
as I can. Until next time, later, ya peeps.
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta *
A/N: Let's see, do I own them? (checks her sources) Nope. DBZ or anything else I put in this story isn't mine
and will never be mine. On the last episode of As the Planet Namek Burns, CMG tells the others something
that drove them insane yet again, as more chaos seemed to happen on King Kai's Planet. Back on Namek,
King Vegeta gets his turn using Goku's body for awhile, but they end up getting buried into the ground. Gohan
returns to apologize to his father, but Freeza was there waiting for him.
Gohan: Even though you killed my father, I'm still alive and I'm only a half-Saiya-jin! I was going to apologize
to him for calling him an ungrateful b******, but you killed him.
Freeza irratates our little half-Saiya-jin about the planet getting destroyed in 5 minutes as he tries to stall until
the planet explodes. However, he falls short and a miracle happens. It seems that our hero, Goku managed
to survive from Freeza's attack.
Goku: Gohan, you son of a b****! I told you to get the f*** off this planet!
Gohan: Well excuse me dad, but I've come back to talk you into coming home with me and to apologize for
calling you an ungrateful b******, but I won't now!
Goku: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED FOR A YEAR FROM FIGHTING WHEN I GET HOME!
And it seems that Kami has some good news for the imprisoned King Kai as he learns that Mr. Popo was
going after the Dragon Balls to wish back the Nameks back to life. But will it be in time or will Namek
actually explode...
Freeza: In 5 more minutes!
Yamcha: (from 2 episodes ago) 'In another five minutes' my a**!
Actually, when will these five minutes be over?! I can't take it anymore! (narrator jumps out the window
screaming)
CMG: We need a new narrator. Any takers? (a bunch of hands go up in the air.) Never mind, I'll do it.
(clears throat) Will Goku defeat that terrible gay a** w***e Freeza? Will King Kai ever survive being
tortured by the little bunny rabbits?
King Kai: NO! NOT THE LITTLE BUNNY RABBITS!
CMG: And can anyone tell me where I can actually find the answers to all of these weird questions that
I'm asking? (looks around as crickets chirp) Oh yeah. Silly me. Tune in today As the Planet Namek Burns
to find out.
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In a dark and damp cell, King Kai's sunglasses seemed gray as he lies there shaking. He seemed to have
gone without food for many days. He is lying there on the cell door in the darkness when he hears a door
opening.
"Hey," said a voice. "Come on. I'll get you out of here."
"Huh?" said King Kai as he looks at a familiar person. "Who are you?"
"ALLY TO GOOD! NIGHTMARE TO YOU!" said the voice as King Kai freaks out. "I'm just kidding
around. Come on!"
King Kai gets up carefully. The person was a boy, but all he saw was his shadowed figure. King Kai takes
out a handkerchief and wipes his gray sunglasses which return to normal as the boy started to become so
clear to him. When he recognized him, he screamed.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" cried King Kai.
Meanwhile in a weird base set up where King Kai's house used to be...
-PRISONER ESCAPED! PRISONER ESCAPED!- said a woman's voice over the public announcements as
the alarms go off.
"Status report," said Yamcha.
"The prisoner has escaped," said Tien over the radio.
"D*** you! I already know that!" said Yamcha. "Emperor Chou-zu will not be pleased!"
-In A.D. 21, war was the beginning,- said a woman's voice.
Suddenly, a bomb goes off and Chou-zu goes flying into the window where Yamcha is. Tien walks inside
the shelter as they notice explosions all over the screen.
"What happen?" said Tien.
"Someone set us up the bomb," said Yamcha.
"We get signal!" said Tien.
"On-screen," said Yamcha. The purple-haired boy's image appears in the projection.
"It's you!" said Chou-zu.
"How are you gentleman! All of your base are belong to us. You are on a pathway of destruction," said
the purple-haired boy.
"What did you say?" said Tien.
"You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha, ha, ha..." said the purple-haired boy as the image
disappears.
(10 brownie point for those Japanese game fans who can guess where this scene came from. And yes, I
don't own that, either.)
*******
Meanwhile on Namek, Goku and Freeza were playing a deadly game of mercy. The ground caves in from
beneath them as they show no signs of giving. However, Freeza soon falls to his knees.
"Say it," said Goku.
"Never," said Freeza.
"F*** you, b****!" yelled Goku. "Cry mercy!"
"You would want me to f*** you, wouldn't you?" said Freeza. "Let's go back to my ship and..."
"We are not going there, you gay a** w***e!" said Goku.
"Fine," said Freeza before Goku head bashes Freeza in the head.
*******
"Thanks for the rescue," said King Kai. "But tell me, why did you come back to save me after what
I said a few chapters ago?"
"Because I have to tell Goku something," said the boy.
"He's not here right now," said King Kai. "He's on..."
"I'm right here!" said Yamcha.
"Huh?" said King Kai.
"Goku?" said the boy. "Wait. What happened to your hair?"
"It's a long story," said Yamcha. "So, what do you have to tell me?"
"We can't talk here," said the boy. "Let's talk somewhere else."
"Sure," said Yamcha as he follows Trunks to the fallout shelter. "So, what did you want to tell me?"
"Well first off, I need your undivided trust," said the boy. "Can you turn into a Super Saiya-jin at free
will?"
'Oh s***!' thought Yamcha.
"Well?" said the boy.
"No, not really," said Yamcha.
"Figures," said the boy. "I guess you're not used to it yet since it's pretty hard to control."
"That's right," said Yamcha.
"Wait a second," said the boy. "Are you really Goku? If so, what color are a Super Saiya-jin's eyes?"
'Great, I forgot,' thought Yamcha when he notices a blue bird. "Are the eyes blue?"
"That's right," said the boy. "I guess you've looked at your reflection at least once and remembered
that one. Next question. What color is a Super Saiya-jin's hair?"
'Oh no!' thought Yamcha as he noticed the bird's wings had yellow feathers under his wings. "Is it yellow?"
"That's right," said the boy. "Last question. How did you transform into a Super Saiya-jin."
'Oh no! I don't know this one!' thought Yamcha, but then he noticed the bird fly away into the sky where
for some strange reason, there was a cloud up in the sky that looked like Krillin's head. "Krillin..."
"Krillin, huh?" said the boy. "What happened to him?"
"Freeza killed him! That ungrateful b****!" said Yamcha.
"Calm down," said the boy. "I don't want you going Super Saiya-jin if you cannot control it!" said the boy.
The halo over Yamcha's head stretches over his hair and made it look gold. Somehow, his eyes seemed to
turn blue. The boy was overwhelmed by what happened.
"Whoa! You are Goku! Sweet!" said the boy. "You can power down now."
"Okay," said Yamcha as his halo seemed to fly off of his head and his eyes returned to normal.
"I trust you," said the boy, "but you cannot tell anyone else about it, alright?"
"Sure," said Yamcha.
"Thank you," said the boy. "My name is Trunks, and I'm..."
"You're name is Trunks?" said Yamcha as he starts laughing. "Who would name you that? Underwear boy!"
"Enough!" yelled Trunks. "Now, as I was saying, I'm half-Saiya-jin, half Earthling."
"So, WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" said Yamcha.
"Vegeta," said Trunks as Yamcha facevaults.
"V-V-Vegeta?" said a shocked Yamcha.
*******
"Five more minutes," said Freeza. "Yes five more f***en minutes until this planet explodes!"
"Will you ever stop saying that?" said Goku.
"No," said Freeza.
*******
"Arise Eternal Dragon!" said Mr. Popo as he summons Shenlong.
"You know the drill by now, so state your wish!" said Shenlong. "I need to talk to my agent about GT, okay?"
"Yes, I would like you to bring all of the people that Freeza and his henchmen killed back to life," said Mr. Popo.
"Would you like me to bring back Vegeta too?" said Shenlong.
"If you want to," said Mr. Popo.
"Fine," said Shenlong as his eyes glow red.
*******
"Huh?" said Vegeta as his hand starts to disappear.
"It seems that you're being wished back to life," said Bardock.
"I don't want to be wished back!" cries Vegeta in a whiny voice. "I want to possess Kakarot's body and
make him toy with Freeza some more!"
"Just go, you whiny brat for a son," said King Vegeta. "If not, I will disown you like Bardock was going to!"
"Fine 'dad'," said Vegeta as he disappears.
"So, it's still my turn, isn't it?" said Bardock.
"Have fun," said King Vegeta. "Besides, we won't get another chance to do this."
"Yeah!" said Bardock in a child-like voice. "Okay, Bibi-di! Send me now!"
"Fine, fine," said Bibi-di as he turns towards the reader. "Who were expecting? Satan? Besides, I have a
pretty slim chance appearing in the Buu Saga anyways, so what the hell? Might as well cause some havoc
on Namek!" Bibi-di laughs and a stone falls on his head. "Ouch! That's hot!"
*******
"So let me get this straight," said Yamcha. "I'm going to die of a heart virus, the Androids are going to kill
all of the Z Fighters, and you are the only one who survives? You're life must suck a ton!"
"That's why I'm here to fix the past," said Trunks. "Will you fight?"
"Hell ya!" said Yamcha as flames spew out from behind him, as Bardock's spirit goes flying.
"So long, suckers!" said Bardock.
"Huh?" said everyone.
"I'm off to Namek!" said Bardock.
"Send us a postcard!" said Yamcha.
"I knew my mother could trust you," said Trunks as he pulls a little vial from his pocket. "This is the
antidote that my mother made. When the first side effects come, take it and you should be fine."
"Who is your mother?" said Yamcha.
"My mother is Bulma," said Trunks as Yamcha's mouth drops to the ground and he facevaults.
"Bulma's your mother?" said Yamcha. 'You're going to die, carrot top!'
"Yes," said Trunks as Yamcha gets up. "But please don't say anything, or else I will not be born."
'Like I'd want Vegeta to take my woman anyways,' thought Yamcha. "Sure."
"Okay, I got to go now," said Trunks. "I'll see you in three years!"
"Bye!" said Yamcha as Trunks leaves. 'Thanks for the tip, you b******!'
*******
'Man, this b**** doesn't want to give up, does he?' thought Goku.
"Give up," said Freeza.
Little does Freeza know that Bardock has possessed Goku now. Things are about to get interesting...
*******
"Okay, I'm finished," said Shenlong.
"Thanks," said Mr. Popo.
"Yeah, yeah," said Shenlong. "Later."
The Dragon disappears as the Dragon Balls fly off into the sky. Mr. Popo looks around him and finds a
piece of candy. He picks it up and is caught in a trap. A hundred little kids dressed in native outfits gather
around Mr. Popo as he struggles to get free. However, the kids free him after he gives them back all of
the candy he stole from them.
*******
'Am I alive?' thought Guru as he lifts his hand. 'Let me see...'
Guru, the Namek Elder decided to test his theory, so he does something that had to be censored. He
was doing something in sign language. (You know what I mean when someone gives another person 'the
finger'.) Anyways, he learns that he is alive and so are the others.
*******
Out of the ocean, Porunga comes out and just hovers there in the sky.
"Hey," said Porunga. "Wasn't I dead?"
*******
Now back to our battlefield, Freeza looks at Goku as he noticed that he was smiling funny.
"What's wrong with you?" said Freeza.
"Wouldn't you like to know," said Bardock. "I've gotten my son under my control again, but this time,
you're going down!"
"Ah s***! Why can't you Saiya-jin just wait for me in hell and beat me up with your army?" said Freeza.
"You know, I think I'll do that," said Bardock. "But first, my revenge!"
Bardock/Goku took an energy orb and lunged it at Freeza. He was prepared for it.
"Oh please," said Freeza. "I don't forget our first battle in space where you met your tragic defeat."
"Well, it's different this time," said Bardock as he holds his hands out. The orb of light starts flying
around in circles (think of what Yamcha did in Tree of Might) as he makes it hit Freeza from behind and
have it explode. Freeza goes flying into a table and doesn't get up easily.
"You fool!" said Freeza. "How dare you make a monkey out of me?"
"I didn't know you were a monkey!" said Bardock. "I thought you were a b****!"
*******
Somewhere on a forgotten region of Namek that isn't burning yet, a lone makeshift grave with flowers on
it is where Vegeta lays dead and forgotten. Suddenly, the clouds open and sunlight hits the grave. A booming
voice is heard.
"Rise from the grave," said the voice, "and rescue my daughter."
(Got that one from an old version of the Sega games. 5 brownie points on which game it's from.)
Vegeta gets up. "Ungh! I'm not rescuing your daughter, you b******! And why are there flowers on my grave?
I'm allergic to them!"
Vegeta starts a sneezing fit to prove his point before blasting the flowers.
*******
On an island nearby the Eternal Dragon, a young Namek stirs as he finds himself alive again.
"Oh boy! I'm alive again," said Dende. "Now let me wait until Guru contacts me."
*******
"It seems like Phase 1 is complete," said King Kai. "Now it's time for Phase 2. Guru, can you hear me?
I have a wish I want to make if you have one left."
*What is this wish,* said Guru. *And yes, I think we still have one wish left. Name it.*
"I want that everyone on Namek, except for Freeza to be moved to Earth," said King Kai.
*Sure, I'll contact one of my people close to Porunga to make that wish right away,* said Guru.
*NO! CHANGE THE WISH, YOU IDIOTS!* said a familiar voice. King Kai and Guru were shocked
for a second.
*******
*Goku? Is that you?* said King Kai a bit afraid.
*No, it's Bardock,* said Goku. *Of course it's me!*
*Have you been listening to our conversation this whole time?* said King Kai.
The no longer possessed Goku is dodging Freeza's energy attacks and creates an energy shield to keep
himself aloft. *Yes and I want you to change the f***en wish!*
*Not if you're talking like that, I won't!* said King Kai.
*You're forgetting that he killed my best friend here!* said Goku.
*Good point,* said King Kai.
*And besides, if you do wish me to Earth, I'll leave it and hunt that b**** down in space,* said Goku.
*But Goku! You need to go back with the others!* said King Kai.
*No, please, let me continue,* said Goku. *If not, he'll come to Earth and kill everyone I care about
and I don't want that to happen.*
*Well, I guess you can stay, but you only got...* said King Kai.
*Yeah, I know and guess what?* said Goku. *The planet still didn't blow up yet!*
*No,* said King Kai. *You've only got until the end of the next episode to finish Freeza off,* said King
Kai. *Besides, this one's pretty much over now.*
*D***!* said Goku. *I guess the next episode's it, huh? Okay then. Make that wish or else I'll haunt you!*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CMG: It seems that our hero, Goku is making demands and will stay on Namek. But how long will Namek
actually hold together before it explodes? Will Goku be able to defeat that b****, Freeza in time?
Freeza: I'm telling you that I'm not a b****!
CMG: Well, FUNimation made you sound like one!
Freeza: (walks out to find out who made him sound like a woman so he could kill them)
CMG: Will Gohan make it back to the spaceship in time? And will Vegeta get some allergy medicine? Find
out next time As the Planet Namek Burns.
Vegeta: (sneezing) Why did that third class fool put flowers on my grave?
Goku: (comes in as a Super Saiya-jin) It was a tradition.
Vegeta: Hey! You've became a Super Saiya-jin. Sweet.
Goku: You already know I've become one from possessing me too many times!
Vegeta: Oh yeah, but I forgot because spirits don't really remember a lot about what happens when they
die.
Goku: That's true.
Vegeta: So, are we going to have some beer?
Goku: Sure. Those sports drinks are for losers!
CMG: Can't you guys ever say things without drawing attention to yourselves?
Goku/Vegeta: Shut-up!
CMG: Fine. Later. (leaves)
Next time on As the Planet Namek Burns, more character bashing is promised as Freeza gets his life cut in
half, if you know what I mean.
Freeza: Help... me...
Bardock: I'll help you. (shoots a beam of light at Freeza which burns him) There. Now you got a nice tan and
some energy. Later!
CMG: Oops! Accidentally left the sound in the scene. Oh well. I'm only a beginner at this narration stuff. Oh
well. Anyways, Freeza will finally get his just desserts and a surprising ending is ensured all on the next
exciting episode on As the Planet Namek Burns.
Bardock: Are you actually going to let me do that?
CMG: Yes.
Bardock: (screams like a little girl) Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! (hugs CMG)
CMG: Are you done now?
Bardock: (lets go) Yes.
CMG: Good. Now let's go. We got another story to write.
Bardock: Sure.
Don't forget to review. If you flame me, only flame me if you have a good reason. I'm surprised that I've
gone this far in and I know there's no turning back now from doing this. Well, only if I have to do a few
minor changes in the chapters I made some small grammar errors in, but heck. I've just haven't been trying
hard enough the first time, so now, I'm doing my half-best job. I know the possessing stuff is a bit weird,
but heck. One fan said he wanted to see Bardock some more, so I'm going to keep my promise and make
another fanfic about that father of the Legendary Super Saiya-jin And no. It's not Brolly since I despise that
guy a ton and think his dad was cheating to make him into one. He sounds like a Pokemon repeating Goku's
Saiya-jin name a ton, which gives me an idea for my next humor fic. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon
as I can. Until next time, later, ya peeps.
* Chibi Mirai Gogeta *
