No it can't be true! I won't let It!"
Stop... I tell my self to stop, breath, rationalize... so what if I have killed I am still better than the humans... aren't I?
No.
Oh why Is He Doing this to me!?
Quatre smiled, a forced smile, but his words where what reached my ears, "Do not worry, we have faith in you Heero..."
I blink, the meaning sinking in, the memories came back in a flood. Joan... her faith... Faith! That was it! That even when they where evil and cruel the humans always had faith... in something.... I never had faith in anything.... Not Myself not God, not.... them.
~'Thats it...'~ I did not mean to speak the thought, but it came wiht out my bidding. I had no power over it.
'What is?' I hear Duo ask me.
~'The answer!'~ Then it came, in a wave, the pain, the doubt, it consumed me, willing me to forget, but the severity of my realization that I... Arch Angel... was no better that the murderers who stand befor me. I cringe and I feel my body shake. The pain! As If something is being ripped from my soul.
Trowa stepps fowared his solomn eye's watching me, 'Heero...' he paused waiting for my painful tremmors to lessen, 'who are you...?'
But the words, the look, they where so fuzzy... what did he say... I... I can't remember... Faith... it hurts... but I must keep hold... I can't lose it? Not again... but the pain! It hurts so much!
God Make It stop! You can make it stop! I know you will...I...
I crumple to the ground... and I think I hear the others cry out... but I...
Darkness seeps in around the edges of my vision... the pain leaves as I sink into the darkness that is swallowing me up... it is so quiet... no pain... no doubt... Oh God I knew It... I knew you wouldn't leave me!
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This is NOT the last chapter... so you just wait for the rest... THe dramatic conclusion is still very far off...
