~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISCLAIMER: I don't own CLAMP, but they own Card Captor Sakura! Okay?! Okay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* : thoughts
" " : conversations
Chapter 2: The Truth Lies Within
"Onii-chan, otou-chan, do you mind quitting the somber look thing? I'm OKAY," Sakura
told her brother and father cheerfully. "It happens all the time. But I'll get over it, and
I'll be home soon."
Kinomoto Fujitaka moved forward to hug his daughter. What a bright little ray of sunshine
she was, full oflaughter and hope in the face of adversity. "I have to go to work now, all
right? Will you be okay?"
"I will be. Have a good day, otou-chan."
When Fujitaka left the room, it was bathed in tense silence.
Sakura waited for the other shoe to drop. *One... two... three.*
"I failed you again, imouto," Touya said.
She looked up. Of all the ridiculous things she expected himto say, this took the cake.
"Onii-chan, that's not true and you and I both know it. My seizures are a part of the
leukemia. It's NORMAL. And they don't hurt me at all."
Well, that was a lie. But anything to stop her brother's paranoia sounded really good right
now. Her brother had tendencies to exaggerate. He began going overboard when she was
diagnosed with the illness. He thought that if ANYTHING touched her, she would break.
"It's not just that, Sakura! It's everything-- if I took better care of you, then you wouldn't
be here right now. You'd be safe..." Touya muttered.
"Onii-chan," Sakura began gently. "Some things you can protect me from. Some things you
can fight for me. But some things..." her voice trailed off. "Some things are just plain
inevitable. Some things you cannot prevent."
Touya held his sister tightly. "You're going to get well," he whispered, more for his
benefit than hers. "You'll be fine, and when you get out of here, I'll never let anything
hurt you again."
Sakura smiled. "Hai, 'nii-chan."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Tomoyo came in later that night.
"How are you, otomodachi-san?" she asked.
"Genki desu," Sakura replied cheerfully. "I'll be out of here soon, I just know it. So how
was school? Are they okay?"
"Everybody's fine and they wish you well," Tomoyo answered. "Yamazaki-kun and Chiharu-
chan said they'd be dropping by soon."
"That's great, I haven't seen them in forever," Sakura said. "Isn't Athletics Festival this
week already?"
"How did you know about that?"
"Yukito-san told me he saw you guys preparimg. I hope our class wins," she said.
Sakura hadn't gone to school in two years due to her hospitalization. But she still referred
to their batch as "our class".
Tomoyo smiled. "Everyone hopes you get well, and soon. We can't very well win the Festival
without you."
Sakura laughed. "I'm sure you'll find a suitable replacement. Syaoran-kun is----"
Tomoyo looked up.
Sakura's smile faltered. "I.. keep forgetting. Syaoran-kun... he hasn't written, has he?"
Tomoyo hesitantly shook her head. She rushed to comfort her friend. "....It's gonna be okay.
When you get out, we'll go on a trip and drag him back to Japan with us, don't worry," she
jokeed.
Sakura smiled weakly. "I don't think he'll like that."
"But it's going to be fine. Everything will be fine when you get out of this place," Tomoyo
reassured her.
Sakura tried to keep smiling, but she failed. *He's not coming back. Not after what I did...
And you know what? It hurts even more like that because I pushed him away....*
Her emerald eyes grew blank, and she passed out.
Tomoyo stood up. "Sakura-chan? Oh--- Sakura-chan!!"
Doctors and nurses rushed in at the sound of her screams. They tried frantically to revive
Sakura and bring her backinto the world of the living, holding on to that strand of life
they knew she still held.
*Hold on, Sakura-chan, please....*
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
"How is she?" Touya asked in a low voice. Sakura was sleeping now, not unconscious.
"... Sakura-san's condition is not good. Her cells are rejecting the therapy," the doctor
replied. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but.... it's like she has no more desire to live. Touya-san,
I'm sorry. But if your sister continues like this, she will have no more than one month to
live, as her cells are rapidly deteriorating. Two at most."
Touya gasped. "No..."
Tomoyo's eyes filled with tears. This was the first time that Sakura was given an
ultimatum. It was so.... final. "Ma....saka."
"My sister is not that weak," Touya muttered. "She knows I still need her. Otou-san still
needs her. We all do. Can't she understand that?"
Tomoyo's eyes shot open. That was it. "Kinomoto-kun... maybe that's it. Maybe she's
tired of living... for us, and not for her own benefit."
"What are you saying, Tomoyo?"
"Sakura told me once... that she lived for someone, and as long as she had that someone,
she would always be happy, and she would never give up."
"And who might that be?" Touya asked. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew.
*The gaki?*
"Li-kun left four years ago," Tomoyo whispered. "He might be it."
"Why the heck did that kid leave anyway?" Touya questioned.
"He didn't say. In fact, he didn't say a word. he just up and left," Tomoyo answered. "But I'll
get to the bottom of this, and I'll bring him back. he might be the key."
"What if he doesn't want to?"
"I'll drag him back if need be," Tomoyo whispered. "For Sakura-chan."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
There was a biting chill to the wind that night, as he walked home from school. It was quite late,
but he'd just finished the school's council work, and now he was free to do as he wished for the
winter break.
Winter. He could smell it in the wind, feel it in the breeze.
And with it he felt again that terrible emptiness he kept trying to forget during the other
seasons of the year.
*"Just... let me go. Let me go."*
His chest tigtened. Didn't he love her enough back then?
Didn't he love her enough now?
He tried to guard his heart against the onslaught of memories, but he failed. They were
too clear, too vivid, too painful.
One winter night, long ago.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You wanted to talk to me?" he asked.
"I'm sorry if I woke you up," she said. Her voice, when it came, was colder than the
Arctic and not brimming with its usual warmth.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he moved forward.
She took a step back. Not the response he had expected. Something was definitely up.
He repeated the question.
She sighed audibly, which he took as a bad sign. Her body language was telling him
to stay away, far away from her.
"I have.. to..." she breathed and repeated her sentence. "I'm breaking up with you,
Li-kun."
He froze,as if hit with ice-cold water. "Why?!" he questioned.
"Just--- I, just don't ask. I just want to."
"What kind of stupid answer is that?" he muttered as he grabbed her arm. "Tell me why!"
"Let me go," her voice was breaking.
"Why?" he repeated.
She looked up at him, and in her wide emerald eyes he saw fear, embedded, and pain.
He was shocked. She'd never looked at him in this way. Never.
"Just... let me go. Let me go."
He let her go. She looked into his eyes once, then turned and ran in the opposite
direction, fighting snow and sleet just to get away.
The next day, he left Japan.
At first, he began to rationalize. This was all for the best. Now he wouldn't have to
feel guilty about the family honor entrusted on him, the same one he threw away when
he decided to fall for her. Now he could forget the shame he'd placed on the family
name. He could go away, forget anything had happened, as a solemn vow to his ancestors.
He returned to China with a clear mind, a purged conscience, and an aching heart.
*Fool,* he berated himself as he went up to his room. *Four years have not changed you.*
At that moment, the phone rang.
He picked up. "Hello?"
"Li-kun? This is Daidouji Tomoyo."
An eyebrow rose. "Daidouji? How in the world did you get my number?"
"That's not important right now-- Li-kun, listen well. Sakura-chan is in bad shape--"
*Sakura's in what?!* He couldn't stop himself. Worry for the girl washed over him in
frustrating waves. "What happened to Sakura? Accident? Is she sick?"
Tomoyo paused. "... You mean she didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Tomoyo sighed. "I figured. That's why you went back without a word."
"Tell me WHAT?"
Tomoyo sighed again, deeper this time. "Li-kun... don't be shocked. Sakura-chan...
she's been in the hospital for four years now. She has... leukemia."
*"She has... leukemia."*
It seemed like time froze for an eternity to let this sink into his mind.
"Leu... kemia?"
"She inherited the disease from her mother. And.. Li-kun.. she hasn't been well.
She rejects the treatment administered to her. As a result, she might..." Tomoyo's
voice broke. "--Sakura-chan has no more than two months to live."
Visions of an energetic girl floated before his eyes.
*"Syaoran-kun, we're going to the store! Wanna come?"
"Syaoran-kun! Give me a hand up, okay?"
"Can you help me solve this problem, Syaoran-kun?"
"HOOEE!! Syaoran-kun!!"
"Isn't this fun, Syaoran-kun?"
....
"Hoe.. masaka. You're the PRINCESS?"
"Thanks for your help, Li-kun. But I won't need it next time."
"---Teddy Bear festival! You wanna go with us, Li-kun?"
"About this afternoon.. at the elevator? You called me Sakura! I really think we're good
friends now. May I call you Syaoran?"
....
"Please forget me... erase me from your heart forever!"
....
"Syaoran-kun, I love you most of all!"*
He was brought back to reality by the sound of Tomoyo's voice. "So will you come back,
Li-kun? At least... to see her.. and let her see you once.. before.."
Syaoran closed his eyes.
*How could you not let me know, Sakura? Didn't you think I was strong enough?*
"I'll go, Daidouji. I'll go at once."
DISCLAIMER: I don't own CLAMP, but they own Card Captor Sakura! Okay?! Okay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* : thoughts
" " : conversations
Chapter 2: The Truth Lies Within
"Onii-chan, otou-chan, do you mind quitting the somber look thing? I'm OKAY," Sakura
told her brother and father cheerfully. "It happens all the time. But I'll get over it, and
I'll be home soon."
Kinomoto Fujitaka moved forward to hug his daughter. What a bright little ray of sunshine
she was, full oflaughter and hope in the face of adversity. "I have to go to work now, all
right? Will you be okay?"
"I will be. Have a good day, otou-chan."
When Fujitaka left the room, it was bathed in tense silence.
Sakura waited for the other shoe to drop. *One... two... three.*
"I failed you again, imouto," Touya said.
She looked up. Of all the ridiculous things she expected himto say, this took the cake.
"Onii-chan, that's not true and you and I both know it. My seizures are a part of the
leukemia. It's NORMAL. And they don't hurt me at all."
Well, that was a lie. But anything to stop her brother's paranoia sounded really good right
now. Her brother had tendencies to exaggerate. He began going overboard when she was
diagnosed with the illness. He thought that if ANYTHING touched her, she would break.
"It's not just that, Sakura! It's everything-- if I took better care of you, then you wouldn't
be here right now. You'd be safe..." Touya muttered.
"Onii-chan," Sakura began gently. "Some things you can protect me from. Some things you
can fight for me. But some things..." her voice trailed off. "Some things are just plain
inevitable. Some things you cannot prevent."
Touya held his sister tightly. "You're going to get well," he whispered, more for his
benefit than hers. "You'll be fine, and when you get out of here, I'll never let anything
hurt you again."
Sakura smiled. "Hai, 'nii-chan."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Tomoyo came in later that night.
"How are you, otomodachi-san?" she asked.
"Genki desu," Sakura replied cheerfully. "I'll be out of here soon, I just know it. So how
was school? Are they okay?"
"Everybody's fine and they wish you well," Tomoyo answered. "Yamazaki-kun and Chiharu-
chan said they'd be dropping by soon."
"That's great, I haven't seen them in forever," Sakura said. "Isn't Athletics Festival this
week already?"
"How did you know about that?"
"Yukito-san told me he saw you guys preparimg. I hope our class wins," she said.
Sakura hadn't gone to school in two years due to her hospitalization. But she still referred
to their batch as "our class".
Tomoyo smiled. "Everyone hopes you get well, and soon. We can't very well win the Festival
without you."
Sakura laughed. "I'm sure you'll find a suitable replacement. Syaoran-kun is----"
Tomoyo looked up.
Sakura's smile faltered. "I.. keep forgetting. Syaoran-kun... he hasn't written, has he?"
Tomoyo hesitantly shook her head. She rushed to comfort her friend. "....It's gonna be okay.
When you get out, we'll go on a trip and drag him back to Japan with us, don't worry," she
jokeed.
Sakura smiled weakly. "I don't think he'll like that."
"But it's going to be fine. Everything will be fine when you get out of this place," Tomoyo
reassured her.
Sakura tried to keep smiling, but she failed. *He's not coming back. Not after what I did...
And you know what? It hurts even more like that because I pushed him away....*
Her emerald eyes grew blank, and she passed out.
Tomoyo stood up. "Sakura-chan? Oh--- Sakura-chan!!"
Doctors and nurses rushed in at the sound of her screams. They tried frantically to revive
Sakura and bring her backinto the world of the living, holding on to that strand of life
they knew she still held.
*Hold on, Sakura-chan, please....*
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
"How is she?" Touya asked in a low voice. Sakura was sleeping now, not unconscious.
"... Sakura-san's condition is not good. Her cells are rejecting the therapy," the doctor
replied. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but.... it's like she has no more desire to live. Touya-san,
I'm sorry. But if your sister continues like this, she will have no more than one month to
live, as her cells are rapidly deteriorating. Two at most."
Touya gasped. "No..."
Tomoyo's eyes filled with tears. This was the first time that Sakura was given an
ultimatum. It was so.... final. "Ma....saka."
"My sister is not that weak," Touya muttered. "She knows I still need her. Otou-san still
needs her. We all do. Can't she understand that?"
Tomoyo's eyes shot open. That was it. "Kinomoto-kun... maybe that's it. Maybe she's
tired of living... for us, and not for her own benefit."
"What are you saying, Tomoyo?"
"Sakura told me once... that she lived for someone, and as long as she had that someone,
she would always be happy, and she would never give up."
"And who might that be?" Touya asked. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew.
*The gaki?*
"Li-kun left four years ago," Tomoyo whispered. "He might be it."
"Why the heck did that kid leave anyway?" Touya questioned.
"He didn't say. In fact, he didn't say a word. he just up and left," Tomoyo answered. "But I'll
get to the bottom of this, and I'll bring him back. he might be the key."
"What if he doesn't want to?"
"I'll drag him back if need be," Tomoyo whispered. "For Sakura-chan."
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
There was a biting chill to the wind that night, as he walked home from school. It was quite late,
but he'd just finished the school's council work, and now he was free to do as he wished for the
winter break.
Winter. He could smell it in the wind, feel it in the breeze.
And with it he felt again that terrible emptiness he kept trying to forget during the other
seasons of the year.
*"Just... let me go. Let me go."*
His chest tigtened. Didn't he love her enough back then?
Didn't he love her enough now?
He tried to guard his heart against the onslaught of memories, but he failed. They were
too clear, too vivid, too painful.
One winter night, long ago.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You wanted to talk to me?" he asked.
"I'm sorry if I woke you up," she said. Her voice, when it came, was colder than the
Arctic and not brimming with its usual warmth.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he moved forward.
She took a step back. Not the response he had expected. Something was definitely up.
He repeated the question.
She sighed audibly, which he took as a bad sign. Her body language was telling him
to stay away, far away from her.
"I have.. to..." she breathed and repeated her sentence. "I'm breaking up with you,
Li-kun."
He froze,as if hit with ice-cold water. "Why?!" he questioned.
"Just--- I, just don't ask. I just want to."
"What kind of stupid answer is that?" he muttered as he grabbed her arm. "Tell me why!"
"Let me go," her voice was breaking.
"Why?" he repeated.
She looked up at him, and in her wide emerald eyes he saw fear, embedded, and pain.
He was shocked. She'd never looked at him in this way. Never.
"Just... let me go. Let me go."
He let her go. She looked into his eyes once, then turned and ran in the opposite
direction, fighting snow and sleet just to get away.
The next day, he left Japan.
At first, he began to rationalize. This was all for the best. Now he wouldn't have to
feel guilty about the family honor entrusted on him, the same one he threw away when
he decided to fall for her. Now he could forget the shame he'd placed on the family
name. He could go away, forget anything had happened, as a solemn vow to his ancestors.
He returned to China with a clear mind, a purged conscience, and an aching heart.
*Fool,* he berated himself as he went up to his room. *Four years have not changed you.*
At that moment, the phone rang.
He picked up. "Hello?"
"Li-kun? This is Daidouji Tomoyo."
An eyebrow rose. "Daidouji? How in the world did you get my number?"
"That's not important right now-- Li-kun, listen well. Sakura-chan is in bad shape--"
*Sakura's in what?!* He couldn't stop himself. Worry for the girl washed over him in
frustrating waves. "What happened to Sakura? Accident? Is she sick?"
Tomoyo paused. "... You mean she didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Tomoyo sighed. "I figured. That's why you went back without a word."
"Tell me WHAT?"
Tomoyo sighed again, deeper this time. "Li-kun... don't be shocked. Sakura-chan...
she's been in the hospital for four years now. She has... leukemia."
*"She has... leukemia."*
It seemed like time froze for an eternity to let this sink into his mind.
"Leu... kemia?"
"She inherited the disease from her mother. And.. Li-kun.. she hasn't been well.
She rejects the treatment administered to her. As a result, she might..." Tomoyo's
voice broke. "--Sakura-chan has no more than two months to live."
Visions of an energetic girl floated before his eyes.
*"Syaoran-kun, we're going to the store! Wanna come?"
"Syaoran-kun! Give me a hand up, okay?"
"Can you help me solve this problem, Syaoran-kun?"
"HOOEE!! Syaoran-kun!!"
"Isn't this fun, Syaoran-kun?"
....
"Hoe.. masaka. You're the PRINCESS?"
"Thanks for your help, Li-kun. But I won't need it next time."
"---Teddy Bear festival! You wanna go with us, Li-kun?"
"About this afternoon.. at the elevator? You called me Sakura! I really think we're good
friends now. May I call you Syaoran?"
....
"Please forget me... erase me from your heart forever!"
....
"Syaoran-kun, I love you most of all!"*
He was brought back to reality by the sound of Tomoyo's voice. "So will you come back,
Li-kun? At least... to see her.. and let her see you once.. before.."
Syaoran closed his eyes.
*How could you not let me know, Sakura? Didn't you think I was strong enough?*
"I'll go, Daidouji. I'll go at once."
