A Ranma 1/2 Play

By: Anubis Fearie

Cast

Character: Played By:

Ranma Saotome ...................................................................... Ryoga Hibiki

Ryoga Hibiki .......................................................................... Mousse

Shampoo ............................................................................ ...... Akane Tendo

Ukyo Kounji ............................................................................ Shampoo

Akane Tendo ........................................................................... Ranma Saotome

Mousse ............................................................................ .......... Happosai

Happosai ............................................................................ ....... Ukyo Kounji

Directer ............................................................................ ....... Jenni (AnubisFearie)

==========================================================================

Ranma: Fidgets around in female Furinkan High uniform Can't I at LEAST play Akane as a GIRL? This is embarressing!

Jenni: Look, now how could you look like Akane with red hair? I can't afford a wig, okay?

Mousse: Finishes tying bandana Oh Shampoo! We should have a big love scene!

Akane: Adjusts Chinese style puffy pants Hey! I'm not really Shampoo, you idiot!

Ryoga: Glares at his clip-on-pigtail How come I get the worst part?!

Ranma: Smacks Ryoga Excuse me?!

Ukyo: Growls and kicks bag of panties Damn it, why can't I just play myself?!

Happosai: I wanted to be cast as a GIRL and get to wear a BRA! Crosses arms and holds on glasses

Jenni: Quit complaining! Everybody take your places! We're on in three... two...

::Curtain rises...::

Ryoga: Walks onto stage I am Ranma Saotome, a big dumb idiot!

Ranma: Stomps up to Ryoga Don't make me kick your ASS!

Jenni: Whispers loudly STICK TO THE SCRIPT!

Ryoga: Sighs Come on, Akane... Roughly snags Ranma's arm We have to get to school.

Ranma: Don't touch me! Hits Ryoga with giant mallet

Akane: You're making me look bad! That wasn't in the script!

Jenni: Yes it was. Cue Shampoo... and remember, Akane, talk ditzy!

Akane: Sighs, latches onto Ryoga Nihao, Ranma! I Shampoo, big dumb bimbo!

Ryoga: Blushes Ehehe..... Nearly passes out

Shampoo: Knocks Akane off Ryoga Stupid girl! I no is bimbo! Remembers play I is Ukyo! Hugs Ranma Ranma!

Ranma: No, stupid! I'm playing Akane! Ryoga's me!

Ukyo: Hurls bag of panties at Shampoo Uhhh... I'm Happosai and on behalf of... myself... get off of MY fiancee`!

Happosai: Dashes onto stage and rolls in panties Woohoo!

Mousse: Smacks Happosai with umbrella You're making me look bad, you pervert! Remembers audience Ummmm... Waves to backdrop I'm Ryoga!

Shampoo: Blind as bat...

Ranma: Scratches head Does anybody even know their lines?

Everyone: Shakes head

Ranma: Shrugs and smiles evilly at Akane Look at me! I'm Akane Tendo, a violent, dorky, sexless, tomboyish, brick with the IQ of a jellyfish!

Akane: Growls, yells in Shampoo-lingo RANMA IS JERK!!!!!! Swings bonbori angerly at Ranma

Ranma: Dodges

Ryoga: Slams Ranma How DARE you say that about Akane?!

Ukyo: This play sucks...

Happosai: Rubs on Shampoo's chest

Shampoo: AIYAA!!!!

Audience: Mumbles

Jenni: STOP IT! YOU'RE SCREWING IT UP!!!!

Mousse: To be or not to be? That is the question!

Ryoga: Is that really a question?

Ranma: Only you wouldn't know, pig.

Ryoga: HEY! Whacks Ranma

Ranma: In Akane's voice Oh Ryoga! And I thought you loved me! Giggles

Ryoga: PREPARE TO DIE! Kicks Ranma into audience

Audience: Ranma fans tear at Ranma's clothes and squeel happily

Ranma: Runs onto stage in boxers THAT WASN'T VERY NICE! Drops the elbow on Ryoga

Happosai: Grins and splashes Ranma Whoa, baby! No shirt! WOOHOO!

Onna-Ranma: GAAA!!! Drop kicks Happosai

Ukyo: Laughs Ranma Honey, you're high-beaming!

Onna-Ranma: Covers breasts with arms and growls

Ryoga: Passes out from sight of boobies

Mousse: Who am I again?

Shampoo: You Ryoga, stupid!

Mousse: Does Ryoga get to marry Shampoo?

Akane: No, you idiot! Didn't you read the script?!

Mousse: I forgot my glasses and....

Onna-Ranma: I NEED A SHIRT!!!!

Men in Audience: NO YOU DON'T!

Jenni: Tosses T-Shirt to Onna-Ranma

Onna-Ranma: Slips it on and mumbles

Ukyo: Romeo, Romeo, where the hell art thou, Romeo?

Jenni: WRONG PLAY, DAMN YOU!

Ukyo: Oh...

Happosai: Pan.... ties..... Rolls in glee

Ryoga: Wakes up I... had the weirdest dream. Points to Onna-Ranma And you were there... Points to Akane ... and you were there... Goes on pointing to everyone

Onna-Ranma: Idiot...

Jenni: Runs onto stage with mega-phone THE END!!!!! Yanks curtain shut

Onna-Ranma: Jenni, I really think you should've wrote a better script. That play stunk.

Jenni: YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ MY SCRIPT!

Everyone: ....... there was a script.....?

Jenni: Stomps off

The End!