CHAPTER SIX: GETTING THE FACTS STRAIGHT
Holding her breath, Tahiri approached the table – which was really a tree trunk sawed in half – that Zekk and Anakin were sitting at. They were eating the assortment of meats that the Tsirran considered to be breakfast food.
As soon as Anakin saw her coming, she heard him say to Zekk, "I'm going to get started on the repairs," then he left without saying a word to her.
"He'll get over it," Zekk said, when Tahiri took a seat across from him.
"I hope," she said, but did not sound too optimistic.
Last night, when she had decided against going after Anakin, since he seemed to be really angry with her, she had bumped into Zekk. She had looked upset and when he had asked her what was wrong she had ended up explaining her whole argument with Anakin to him.
"He will," Zekk insisted, "just give him some time,"
"Out of all the scenarios I played through in my head, not one of them had Anakin angry at me for being alive. I guess I should have," she said, "because I would feel the same way,"
"It's difficult for him," said Zekk. "I think he went through a rough time when he thought he'd lost you. That was probably what led him to Tatooine in the first place. He was trying to get over you,"
Tahiri sat up straight. "Tatooine?"
"Didn't he tell you that's where we ran into each other?" Zekk said, picking at his plate of food.
"No, he didn't,"
"He ran into some trouble with the locals, and I helped him out,"
She could not believe he had gone back there. Tatooine was not exactly his favourite place in the universe. There could only be one reason why he would go there and it would not be so he could forget about her.
"Are you okay?" Tahiri had gone very quiet all of the sudden.
She nodded quickly and got up from the bench. "I've got some things I have to do. I'll see you later, Zekk,"
She left before he could ask her any more questions.
"What are you doing here?" Zekk said, leaning against the open door of the newly repaired boarding ramp.
Anakin looked up from the mess of electrical conduits in his hands, and gave him a puzzled look. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to fix your ship,"
"I can finish the rest of these repairs on my own. You need to talk to Tahiri,"
Anakin pulled out a panel from the wall, and began connecting the cables in his hand to it. "There's still a lot of work that needs to be done… and besides, I don't have anything to say to her,"
Zekk sighed. "You Solo's are all the same, you know that? You're all stubborn,"
"I told you, there's a lot of work – "
"And I'm telling you to go find Tahiri and talk to her," Zekk cut him off. "I get it, you're mad at her for making you think she was dead. But it's time to get over it,"
Anakin stopped his rewiring. "You don't understand,"
"I do understand," he told him. "I understand that you've got a second chance but you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself to use it,"
Anakin glared at him. "You don't know what I went through,"
"This isn't about you. It's about Tahiri," Zekk was more then happy to enlighten him. "Have you even thought about what she's been through? I'm sure the Vong didn't bring her back to life so they could catch up on old times,"
His silence gave Zekk his answer.
"What Tahiri did wasn't selfish," Zekk went on. "She put her own happiness aside to help protect the race that saved her life. That's what being a Jedi is all about – protecting the innocent – if these Tsirran are what they appear to be. You don't think that it didn't hurt her too, not being able to contact you or anyone else? If you still think she's that selfish, then you're not nearly as smart as I thought you were,"
And with those final words, Zekk left the ship, leaving Anakin alone to realize that Tahiri had not been the selfish one at all. It had been him.
It was late when Tahiri went to see who had decided to show up at her room in the middle of the night. When she pulled back the rubbery covering that acted as a door, he was the last person she expected to see standing there.
"I couldn't sleep," Anakin said to her. "Can we talk?"
She gestured with her hand for him to come inside.
Anakin noticed she was still wearing the same clothes he had seen her in that morning. He bet she was having about as much trouble sleeping as he was.
Not quite sure what to say, he looked around the room that was basically the same as the one's he and Zekk were staying in. It was small, with very few furnishings. There was some kind of self-conforming mat lying on the floor, the Tsirran version of a bed. Beside it, was a carved wooden nightstand, with a glow lamp on top that was using phosphorescent insects to illuminate the room.
"I know you didn't come here in the middle of the night to admire my room," Tahiri said, breaking the silence.
He might as well say what he had come here to say. Staying silent was not going to fix anything. "I'm sorry about yesterday," he apologized. "I said a lot of stuff that I didn't mean,"
"It's okay," she said to him, "You had every right to be mad at me,"
Anakin disagreed. "You didn't deserve the way I treated you,"
"You were hurt,"
"I was only thinking about myself. I kept going on about what I went through, when what you had to go through had to be a million times worse,"
"It was nothing I couldn't handle," she said in a brave voice.
Anakin knew her better then that. "Tahiri, you can talk to me," he said, taking her hands in his.
"I'm fine Anakin. Really,"
He did not need the force to tell him she was lying. "You were dead," he said gently, "and of all the beings in the galaxy it's the Vong that bring you back. I know they didn't do it so you could go on living a nice, happy life," when she kept quiet, he said, "Tahiri – "
"What do you want me to say?" She snapped at him, struggling to keep her voice steady. "Because I don't think you really want to know the truth," she let go of his hands and moved away, making sure to keep her back to him.
"Whatever you want to tell me, I'll listen to. You can be honest with me,"
"When I woke up and found out where I was, I had wished that I was still dead," in a barely audible whisper, she added, "sometimes I still do,"
"Don't say that,"
She whirled around to face him, hot tears streaming down her face. "Why not? It's the truth. Isn't that what you wanted – for me to be honest with you?" She said in a quivering voice.
He hated seeing her in this much pain. It made his heart ache to think about what she must be feeling inside. He tried to reach her through the force, but she shut him out, putting up all kinds of mental barriers between them.
"Tahiri, it's okay," Anakin said, "open yourself up to me. I can help you,"
She shook her head. "I can't, not yet. Please don't be mad at me for shutting you out,"
"I'm not," he said, instinctively putting his arms around her trembling body and pulling her towards him. He would give her as much time as she needed.
He found himself stroking her hair, as she clung to him tightly. Even when she stopped shaking he did not let go of her. It was Tahiri who ended up breaking the embrace.
"I think I'm going try and get some sleep now," she said.
Anakin nodded his head and made a move to leave, but Tahiri grabbed his hand to stop him.
"Would you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
"Sure," he told her. He had not really wanted to leave her alone anyways, after how vulnerable and fragile she had appeared only moments before.
Still holding his hand, she led him over to the mat on the floor. There weren't any chairs around for him to sit on, so he ended up lying down with her on the mat. It was not much different then when they had been in that cave on Tatooine, except now they were lying down instead of sitting up against a cold slab of rock.
Rather awkwardly, he put his arm around her, and she snuggled closer to him. In what seemed like a matter of seconds, her soft, shallow breathing told him she was fast asleep. Even though he had told her he would stick around until she fell asleep, he had no intention of going back to his own room and leaving her alone anytime soon.
