Damaged Soul

a Soujiro-centric fic

by Lucathia


part 5


I grinned wildly when I saw her glare.

Makimachi-san glared at me with such malevolence that my heart started pounding faster. Her glare reminded me of Yumi-neesan. My lips started curling up at the thought of Yumi-neesan. It's weird how Makimachi-san would remind me of her. I thought she and Shishio-san were long gone from my mind...I guess not.

Makimachi-san kept glaring at me with burning hatred in her eyes. My hands started sweating but I continued to grin. Weird...why are my hands sweating?

When she started walking towards me, I began shuddering. Why am I reacting so weird? As she got closer and readied to attack me, I shivered and my heart pounded even faster. There's something wrong with me...something terribly wrong.

Shinomori-san muttered something and pulled out his two knives and started a flow around me. I didn't even hear what he said. I didn't even notice him circling around me. My whole attention was focused on the girl in front of me. Why...why can't I move?

When she stood there with her penetrating eyes staring into my soul, my mind flipped over.

Are you a customer?

What's happening to me? My head...hurts so much!

You must be a wandering samurai.

I see so much pain in your eyes.

No...no, I don't want to hear that again!

NOOOO!

I yelled out with all my strength. Still, no sound came out. What's happening to me? Why am I starting to remember Tsubame?

I don't care if you harm me...just don't harm my friends!

I felt like screaming. What's happening to my brain? Yumi-neesan...can you tell me if what I'm doing is right? Images started flashing in my mind--images of the hated childhood I had, images of Shishio-san teaching me "the strong survive while the weak die," images of killing my adopted family, images running a whole bunch of errands for Shishio-san, images gathering the Juppongatana, images of battling Himura-san and losing, images of hearing of Yumi-neesan's death, images of journeying north, images of killing more and more people, images of hurting Tsubame...my head throbbed and throbbed. I clawed at my head trying to block out all the thoughts hurled at my brain.

What is that Makimachi girl doing to me?

"How dare you harm my friends!" Makimachi-san yelled at me.

Don't harm my friends!

Too many, I'm bearing too many memories. This is not the time for battle.

And so...I tried jumping up onto the roof to escape from the two...but I forgot about Shinomori-san.

"You can't get away!" Shinomori-san jumped up nimbly behind me and slashed at me with his short swords. I barely escaped in my daze and fell down upon the fallen Sagara-san.

"Get away from Sagara, you creep!" Makimachi-san yelled at me and charged at me with her full speed. "I'm not going to let you disturb him anymore!"

She pulled out three darts and threw them towards me. "I'm gonna get you for all the harm you've caused!"

I scrambled up to get away from the bloody body of Sagara and managed to roll away from the darts. One of the steel weapons grazed my cheek as it whistled pass me dangerously. Seiten no Keishuku! I planted my firm kick onto the ground and pushed myself away from the wet ground with the force. Just as another dart sailed precariously next to me, I landed on the slippery rooftops and panted. I slowly turned my head...risking one last look...

I saw Sagara-san's body lying in a pool of crimson blood...The rain fell gently around him, bathing and cleansing him of his worries. Wait...are my eyes deceiving me?

I blinked my eyes and stared harder. I think I saw him move.

Shaking my head, I turned to leave, but not before seeing Makimachi-san throw another dart.

Yumi-neesan!

I gazed numbly as the dart hit my left shoulder. Blood oozed out...but I could not feel it at all. I slumped dazedly off the other side of the roof and collapsed in the pelting rain.

Why is Tsubame reminding me of Yumi-neesan? Why is Makimachi-san reminding me of her? Why...why is every girl and woman reminding me of Yumi? I can't go on like this...

I can't go on like this...

An apparition of a beautiful woman wearing a silky kimono that draped over her bare shoulders knelt next to me. She managed to smile and frown at me with her serpent colored lips at the same time.

Yumi-neesan...why are you torturing me?

The sky continued to weep for Sagara and Saitoh...and the last thought I had before I blacked out...

Will Mother Nature ever weep for me again?


to be continued


This part was written on 2/12/01.